Premature Ejaculation A Simple Guide To Help You Deal With It 

By Ange Fonce


Please Be Aware This Article Contains Content Of An Intimate Nature

Chances are that as a man... “premature ejaculation” can be and is very “distressing” experience to deal with... and most men would likely had a reaction to that term.

It is time to “stop avoiding” the issue and look at it. 

Why? 

For the simple reason that you only live once and having the “best possible sex” life is to be high on your list.
  
The Diagnostic Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders IV defines “premature ejaculation” as a "persistent" or "recurrent ejaculation" with "minimal sexual stimulation" before or shortly after "penetration" and before a person wants to ejaculate.. 

Hmm... that is not a sexy definition... I define it simply as you “cum quicker” than you or your partner wants.

What Causes Premature Ejaculation? 

There is not just "one cause"... it is usually a "combination of factors"... and “anxiety” is one of the major culprits... also “repetitive learned behaviours”... “excessive arousal”... which means you become "far to excited” and the lack of “muscular tension” of “physical” and “mental control.”

Plus the really BIG one... which most of the times is the root cause of all the above... is the lack of “personal sexual confidence” and “messed up unhealthy thinking” about sex! 

They are all associated and addressing each of them is the key to "dealing with" and "overcoming the problems" of “premature ejaculation”... and although you experience very much the “physical symptoms” of “premature ejaculation” it is very much a “psychological condition."

For our purposes in this article... let us “focus” on some “simple tips” to help you deal with this problem  of “premature ejaculation.”

Anxiety Reduction...

Let us start with what you can do before your penis comes into play. 

First... you need to “learn” to “calm yourself down” and “lower” your “performance anxiety” levels. 

Because “premature ejaculation” is associated with “infrequent sex”... men with “low frequencies” of “sexual activity” often get “extra excited” and aroused... which can manifest as “performance anxiety” when “sex“ presents itself... even men with “frequent sex” can get “extra aroused.”

Reducing "anxiety" is different for everyone... meditation... hypnosis or imagery exercises may help for some... just like an athlete works with the sports psychologist to envision their performance... you can do the same “sexual imagery” for the bedroom... how many of you imagine “positive sexual scenarios”... envision your “interactions” and what “behaviours” you would engage in? 

Imagery can be like a “positive mental plan”... something you can fall back on that can help you “manage” your “anxiety” beforehand... and in the moment.

Communicating your anxiety is also helpful... you hear the expression... 

“That is a big relief to get that off my chest.” 

Yet it is rarely used for "premature ejaculation"... talking with a partner... an “understanding trusted friend” or a "sex coach" opens the door for “anxiety relief” and can help address and alleviate some of your fears... men are notorious for keeping things inside and it is no different for a delicate subject like this. 

Things like your penis size... body image... relationship difficulties... stress in life such as work... financial... family... health can all add to your “anxiety levels in the bedroom. 

Lastly... pick up some sex education books... DVDs on sex technique and sexual expression... there are thousands out there and the more “sex education” you have... the more “competent... confident” and less “anxious” you will feel.

And I have published a ton of articles on “sex” that you can read in the resources section of The Intimate Communion Magazine.




Make use of this "amazing resource"... and it is all FREE!

Strengthen Your Pelvic Muscles...

Ever notice the tension you feel in your body? 

Men are less likely to find ways to release pelvic tension... often men are engaged in “actions” and “behaviours” throughout their lives and during sex that “reinforce muscular tension.”

During sex... if you are holding your breath... flexing your abs and muscles... or supporting your weight in certain sexual positions... like the missionary position... you are creating “muscle tension” that increases the potential for “premature ejaculation.”

The classic example is men who “tighten their muscles” as they “push out their erection” to feel and appear larger to their partner... since “orgasm” is “muscular contractions” that “release muscular tension”... it would be wise for you to work on your “muscle tension levels.”

Activities like yoga... stretching... anxiety reduction skills and working out are all ways to “decrease” the tension in your “pelvic and abdominal regions” outside of the bedroom... I also “recommend” you allow your partner to give you a “full body massage.” 

Be mindful of the ”performance anxiety” you experience and the “tension release” you feel as they touch your stomach... your thighs... your buttocks and other areas of your body... it is not about “genital stimulation”... it is about “managing the tension” you may feel with your body... of being “touched” and “feeling exposed.”

Men that are “comfortable” with their “body image" and with being “touched” often have lower ratings of “sexual anxiety.”

Another important technique to lasting longer is doing Kegel Exercises... if you have not tried them... what are you waiting for? 

There is no “better method” to “strengthen” your “pelvic region” and to create “strong pubococcygeus muscles.”

You cannot expect greatness if you do not put in the time... what are you doing to prepare for sex? 

I give a "full explanation" to doing Kegal Exercises in this issue of...


Go read it now... and come back to this article...
 
Start... Stop Method...

The “start...stop method” is a tested method to learning “ejaculatory control” and lasting longer... you “stimulate your penis” until you are ready to have an “orgasm” and then “cease stimulation.” 

Why this “self administered” preparation? 

You are “training yourself” to find when your “ejaculatory inevitability occurs”... or your point of “no return”... this is the “moment before orgasm” when you are about to “squirt”.. so instead of “ejaculating”... you “refrain from stimulation” and “allow the feeling of orgasm” to subside... a man who has “trained himself” will often “squeeze his PC muscles”... a Kegel contraction to help “hold back orgasm and ejaculation.”

Essentially... you are “educating” your “mind and body” to get “comfortable” with being in “heightened states of arousal” and “learning” when the “onset of orgasm approaches”... the goal is to stretch out the “plateau phase” of the “sexual response cycle” and put more distance between the “excitement” and “orgasm phase.”

Men who “train themselves” will do the “start...stop method” repeatedly for months and most gradually notice changes in their control... duration of maintained stimulation... and their anxiety and confidence levels. 

At first... “masturbate alone” using the “start... stop method”... then use it during “partnered manual stimulation”... a hand job... fellatio... a blow job... and finally incorporate the “start... stop method” with intercourse.

Masturbation Patterns...

Masturbatory patterns are a form of "learned behaviour” that often need to be unlearned... most men have a “fast track orgasm approach” to “masturbation”... men often “train themselves” to be “quick” on the “orgasm trigger.” 

You need to “change” this “masturbation mentality” of “goal oriented orgasm” to one that focuses on taking your time and “getting comfortable” with “heightened sensations”... and using “masturbation” is the “best practice for sex.”

Instead of “racing to orgasm”... take at least “20 minutes of masturbation time” before allowing yourself to “ejaculate”... during this time... you will focus on the “start stop method” and “penile stimulation” of the shaft and glans... the penis head... the glans are generally the most “sensitive areas” of the penis and is continuously stimulated inside the vagina... and most men “masturbate” using an “up... down stroking motion” of the shaft and neglect “glan stimulation”... start off your “20 minute stroking” without lube and just your imagination. 

In future “masturbation sessions”... work up to imagery and lube and then incorporate an adult magazine without lube... an adult magazine with lube... porn without lube... porn with lube... and eventually porn with lube and a sex toy. 

What kind of toy? 

Anything that will “mimic vaginal stimulation”.... such as a tenga egg... penis sleeve or artificial vagina will suffice it... each of these likely have “internal ribbed” and “studded portions” that offer “heightened states of stimulation”... which you will learn to enjoy and control... any of these toys can be ordered online and delivered if you are uncomfortable buying them in person. 

This “gradual increase in stimulation” that you can manage... sustain and control will eventually be transferred to “sex with a partner.”

Sex Positions...

Would you have thought the “positions” you have sex in can impact “premature ejaculation?” 

Oddly enough... the most popular position is male superior... the “missionary position”... which is also the position “associated most” with “premature ejaculation”... this is because “muscular tension” is increased as the male is supporting his body weight with his arms and core strength. 

For a male looking to “cure premature ejaculation”... utilize “sex positions” that limit “muscular tension” such as female superior... the female on top... other wise known as the “cowgirl”... side to side... known as “spooning” and rear entry... “doggy style” when both partners are on their knees. 

Incorporate “deep breathing” with these “sex positions” to keep the blood and oxygen circulating.

Sex Positions To Help You Last Longer...

Last longer position 1... Missionary position...

Perhaps it is not the most explosive of "sexual positions" and it may not even merit the Best Position in the Bedroom award. 

This position... nonetheless is most helpful for men who want to prolong sex... speaking of sex... you can try practising “coitus interruptus”... which entails “deliberately withdrawing your penis” from “her vagina” prior to “ejaculation” and holding it... soon afterward you may “insert your penis back in to her vagina” and continue to “enjoy” each other! 

Remember that the instant she lifts her legs in the air or you lift your own body... you may end up feeling more “intense sensations.”

I recommend that you begin with “body to body missionary” and slowly work your way up with variety.

Last longer position 2... Sitting position...

Another great position that will help most men last longer is the "sitting inside each other" position. 

You sit with your legs crossed and she sits atop you doing the same and controlling the tempo... the great thing about this position is that you get to rub her back or pull her by the shoulders and suck on her breasts with ease... and she can bite into your neck or rub your back while you both enjoy a “constant sexual pace.”

When you become accustomed to this situation and learn “adequate penis control”... then you can give her some new instructions and get her to squat up and down on your penis while she puts her hands on your knees for balance.

Last longer position 3... Riding position...

Although some men lose control... considering they do not have any power when the woman on top does all the moving... many men find a womans “back and forth thrusting”... rather than “up and down” very comfortable.

Allowing her to “take control of the situation” can help you “concentrate” on keeping your “orgasm at bay”... and you get to watch your lover bounce around while she does her thing... once “her thrusting” becomes easy for you... you can try letting her squat. 

Yet be warned... the “squatting position” is likely to make you lose your mind and your semen a lot faster... that is because “her vagina” tends to “hug your penis” rather tightly and your genitals and hers are the only two body parts that are touching.

Last longer position 4... Spooning position... 

This position should usually be reserved for morning sex. 

With her back facing you... lift up one of her legs and insert yourself inside her warm fleshy area... although the “initial feeling” may be that of “tightness”... if you brace yourself the feeling will become more comforting... many men are able to “control themselves” and “last longer” in this position.

Move slowly and do not rush things... getting “overly excited” will not do you any good so just keep things “calm” and at an “unhurried steady tempo”... she will be impressed with your ability to “control yourself.”

Obviously... these positions will not work wonders for everyone and they will definitely feel great for many. 

Remember... if you have a “constant problem” with “premature ejaculation”... first see your doctor for a full “physical check up” to see if there is a “physical condition” causing your problem and get the  “all clear” in that department first... because the next step is your “psychological condition” and that means working with a “sex coach” or “sex therapist” promptly after the “physical check up”... and do not play the “game of denial.” 

And there you have it... some easy ways to keep her satisfied and get a little satisfaction of your own at the same time. 

Manage Premature Ejaculation...

Most of you can “eradicate premature ejaculation” in a few months if you stick to your program... there are a lot of books... videos... you can get information from... yet the best form of “help” is working with an “experienced sex coach” or “therapists” who can guide and support you through this process. 

One issue with “training yourself” to "last longer" is that once you “start lasting longer” it is difficult to go back to “quickies”... and I reckon most of you can live with “long sessions of intense sensation arousal” and “partners screaming your name in ecstasy!”

It is a “good trade off”... Smiles.

If you would like more information about how to deal with “premature ejaculation.”

Please do Contact Me...

As always... leave a man or woman all the better for knowing you.

Masculine Men and Feminine Women know and are the EXCEPTIONS!

They are truly Passionate and DYNAMIC Lovers!

Yours Sincerely



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