How Your Sex Life Does Not Have To Suffer Because Of Bad Backs 

By Ange Fonce

For people with “lower back pain”... just the “thought” of “sexual activity” can induce anxiety instead of “excitement”... and sex is supposed to be “pleasurable”... yet when it is associated with physical pain... it can greatly cut down “sexual activity”... and when that happens... “relationships” can suffer.

The most important advice I can give to you...  is to be “open” in your “communication” with your partner... open and honest “communication” can help prevent tension and misunderstandings... I recently received an E mail from a reader of  The Intimate Communion Magazine asking me for advice about sex and bad backs... and I thought to myself that this subject will make informative and helpful article for those men and women who suffer from “back pain” and yet still want to enjoy a “healthy sex life”... so read on where I reply to a question about "bad backs" and "sex"...

Ameys Question...


Now I know this is a delicate subject and I hope this wont be offending you, but I need some advice. 

I have disc problems and the last time I had sex was a year ago because the next day, and for a whole month afterwards, my pains were so bad and so far down my legs I thought I had put my disc out again. This has as you can imagine caused some strain on my marriage and recently I've been reading up on the best way to attempt intimacy with my husband again, but I am scared to death of the repercussions. 

Any genuine, open advice would be appreciated. 

I know there is a community for sex and relationships on this website but I thought I would ask you.” 


My Response To Amey...

Dear Amey

Thank you for writing to me and your question.

Your partner needs to “understand” that you have not lost your interest in him... and that you are afraid of aggravating your pain... your partner needs to feel that you still “love him”... otherwise your condition could jeopardize your relationship. 

Openness is key here. 

Talk about what works for you and what does not... for both of you... it is not just the position that matters... sharing “love making” is more than a performing a “sexual act.” 

Lovemaking is about closeness... sharing... vulnerability... understanding... pleasure... fun and orgasm... there are plenty of ways people can find “sexual fulfilment” besides penetration... if you have never experimented with oral sex... sex toys... different positions... now is the time to get “creative” and explore... you may find that your sex life becomes much more interesting and fun.

Here are some more useful tips to help you...

Prepare Well... 

For many people... sex is something that usually happens spontaneously and thus they think that any kind of planning makes it less “valuable” or less “enjoyable.” 

Nothing could be further from the truth.

When you are dealing with acute or chronic back pain... "proper preparation" for sex may be the only way to “enjoy” the “experience”... nothing kills “passion” faster then a sudden onset of pain or the constant anxiety that the wrong movement will render you helpless on the bed... your sex life does not have to suffer due to your constant pain... it may be difficult for you to relax and let go. 

So being able to "relax" the affected muscles by taking a “muscle relaxant” or “pain killer” might help to prepare for the “love making session”... or even better... have your partner join you in a warm bath or hot shower... or give you an “erotic massage” as part of your “foreplay.”

Try Different Positions... 

Plan exactly where to have sex and in what “position” is most “comfortable” in order to avoid pain... in the beginning you might need to try out “different positions” until you find the best ones for you and your partner... where you both can be “comfortable”... and enjoy “love making.”

Preparing the room with cushions... towels and covers under the knees... head... or lower back for support... remember it is all about “feeling relaxed” so you can “enjoy” your “lovemaking.”

The missionary position with the legs bent toward the chest may be worth trying out. 

Sitting on the edge of a chair with your partner kneeling between your legs is also a position that works for many woman. 

Or... have your partner sit on a chair while you sit on his lap... facing away from him.

Spooning is also a position that is “comfortable”... both you and your partner are on your sides... with your back to him... then he can enter from behind... which is usually a very comfortable position for both partners  .

Do Not Rush... 

Plan your “love making” with your partner so that you have all the time in the world... enjoy what you are doing... maybe you were never too much into “foreplay”... if so now is your “opportunity” to explore that part of  “lovemaking” and get to know your partner in a new... “sensual way.”

Choose “sensuality” over “sexuality” as you may not be as vigorous as you once were.

Undress first... 
As I have said before... when dealing with back pain... “thoughtful preparation” goes a long way... and not just when it comes to your “position”... in the throes of “passion” you are not necessarily “paying attention” to anything besides your “sensations”... and you will not be paying “attention” to your bodies and how they move... so undress carefully... you do not want to struggling to get your clothes off in an “awkward position” that may knock your back out.

Masturbation... Oral Sex And Sex Toys... 

If “penetration” is too painful for you... there are plenty of other ways for you and your partner to give each other “sexual pleasures”... oral sex... masturbation... dildos and vibrators are great ways to bring about “sexual fulfilment” and “spice up” your sex life.

The most “important thing” is to “communicate openly” about what you both like and do not like... and to “explore” and experiment with “new ways" of giving and receiving pleasure. 

Make Sex Fun... 

If you are up to it... why not bring some spice into your bedroom? 

Try playing doctor and patient... the more you are distracted from your back pain... the better... “love making” raises the spirit and puts you in a better mood... plus having an “orgasm” also relaxes all the muscle tension in the body... and if your muscles are relaxed... your will feel less pain.

With some “preparation” and “fantasy”... suffering from back pain does not mean that you are doomed to a life without sex... on the contrary... you could find that experimenting with longer foreplay... toys... positions and role play... things you may have never considered before... can actually “spice up” your sex life... just be open with your partner and have fun!

Young... old... male or female… anyone can experience back pain to a degree that makes sex uncomfortable... for some... back pain may even be so serious that they eliminate sex from their lives... it is unfortunate that many of the same nerves that bring us pleasure can switch to cause unbearable pain with only the slightest change of motion or position... at the same time... unless your back pain is the result of a major injury... a degenerative condition... or a spinal defect... there are a variety of ways for you to continue enjoying sex without subjecting yourself to future pain.

Obviously... if you are in pain despite trying these tips... seek the advice of a doctor or chiropractor... there may be something serious going on that requires medical attention... and if the pain is intermittent or manageable... it might be that sex can help your back pain. 

Sex often engages your lower back and core muscles... these, in turn support your spine... when strong and in good condition... these muscles correct and prevent unhealthy spinal curvature... the source of most lower back pain... sex works these muscles back to strength... and can over time... help relieve your back pain and keep it from coming back.

As always... leave a man or woman all the better for knowing you.

Masculine Men and Feminine Women know and are the EXCEPTIONS!

They are truly Passionate and DYNAMIC Lovers!

Yours Sincerely


How Mutual Masturbation Can Create Emotional Sexual Intimacy 

By Ange Fonce

Please Be Aware This Article Contains Content Of An Intimate Nature

If you and your partner are new to one another’s bodies... or you are looking to re invent your sex life mutual masturbation is a great way to start intimate encounters... you can make mutual masturbation with your partner a great way to increase the pleasures of foreplay and yes, even climax.

Masturbation also offers a lot of opportunities for sharing... a...

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Sex Toys Do You Use Them Tips On Choosing The Right Vibrator

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I can understand how you feel... buying sex toys is always kind of a gamble... regardless of how helpful the sex store staff may be... that is not an euphemism.

That said... I am sure that you and your lover will triumph in your new adventures in Silicon Valley... that is a euphemism.

Know that buying sex toys is not a shameful or embarrassing activity AT ALL... while it is tempting to purchase toys from the safety of your computer... I would recommend that you actually visit a brick and mortar...

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A NEW Way To Touching And Massaging Your Woman For Your Pleasure

By Ange Fonce

Please Be Aware This Article Contains Images Of An Intimate Nature

The way your lover responds to you can be totally changed from one simple tip.... 

Simply by changing the way you hug your lover... how you touch... and how you stroke your lover's body.

Most men I see really need to feel how this type of magic touch will really turn on their lover.

Now, most men focus on what their lover is feeling and whether their touch is turning their lover on....

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