How to avoid that Crippling Self-Esteem Crash when "Dating" Women. 

I start this article with a question: One that crops up regularly in My E mail tray....

"I was interested in finding a girlfriend when I turned 18 last year November. I have made a few mistakes where i was rejected and I did not know why. I did some research and read many books but am still unsuccessful. This is really messing up my self esteem.

I am very good looking. Not that I'm bragging, but I am told this by many of my sister's friends who are 26 years of age and over.

To get to the point, I feel that reading these articles makes me feel insecure as if I require help, like a crazy person seeing a psychiatrist. and as a result girls can sense it somehow.

How many mistakes do I have to make (roughly) until I get a girl?"

Thanks 
D Knowles.......USA

WARNING SIGNS OF AN IMPENDING SELF-ESTEEM CRASH:

The funny thing is that most men out there assume that if you're good looking, you've got it made with women. As you can tell, this just isn't so. 

Good looks maybe will give You an edge. But if there is no content in the packaging, Being "good looking" is not going to get You very far. 

You're having some problems, and I'm here to help. 

You asked: How many mistakes do you need to make?

Well, the answer is ... 43.5.

Okay, maybe it's 7.

How about 1,346?

Forget the numbers. 

Here's how you have to look at your situation:

QUESTION: How many mistakes do you need to make?

ANSWER: AS MANY AS IT TAKES.

 

You can't quantify the game of attraction. I can not distil it into an easy prescription that I can write and tell you that if you make exactly X number of dates, you'll get 1 girlfriend.

It may take 1 mistake. It might take 500 mistakes. (It will take a LOT less if you study and learn and work with a Professional Coach, and of course these articles, I'll tell you that right now.)

WHO CARES how many it takes? 

All that REALLY matters is that you MAKE those mistakes and get them out of the way and learn and grow from them, so that you can get to that warm, happy place we all want to get to a lot faster. That's the place where you understand how to interact with women to spark their romantic interest. And that is just the START!

All that REALLY matters is the kind of MAN you become in the process!

That warm, happy place that I speak of is called SUCCESS. And there's no feeling like it in the world.

If I told you it takes a THOUSAND mistakes, would that be more than you could handle? Would you give up? Run off and cry, maybe just forget about it and live alone for the rest of your life? 

NO. A MASCULINE Man would NEVER give up until he figured it out. Never!

Remember the motto from the movie "Apollo 13": 'Failure is NOT an option!'

You seem to be shocked by the fact that women can sense your insecure mindset. Of course they can sense your feelings. Masculine Men understand how refined and heightened a woman's emotions is to men who are insecure and lack confidence. It's her "wimp" detector, and it serves her well.

Women grew up interacting in very complex and intricate social situations with their other girlfriends, all while you were sitting home playing Nintendo, or sneaking peeks at your daddy's Penthouse magazines or these days, porn on the net. This refined "intuition" is how she keeps from getting hooked up with the real losers out there. 

What you're doing, though, is making the wrong assumption from these other articles you're reading. You assume that if there's something you don't know about yet, or a skill you don't have yet, that means that you have a reason to feel inadequate. You're reading things that point out what you need to work on, and you're only looking at the negative side. You're getting down on yourself as a result.

EVERYONE has areas to improve in. Including me. No one is perfect. (I personally am always seeking to improve Myself in ALL ways. You are never to old to learn!) 

Should you be depressed to find out you've got more work to do?

NO! You should feel INVIGORATED. Energized! More work to do means you've still got more life to live. That's something to be EXCITED about, not insecure. However, you are the only one who can choose that interpretation.

So put away your hanky and stop crying. Get busy!

I'm going to write you a very strong prescription, Mr.Good-Looking-Guy-Without-a-Woman.

FIRST: You need to stop looking at this all as work, and relax. I can tell from your letter that you're taking the dating game too seriously. You're discouraged, and that alone is something that women can smell on you like bad sushi. 

Chill out, relax and enjoy building your life and let women be a part of your life. The added bonus!

SECOND: Get to work on increasing your Masculine behaviours and vibe.You want to come across as a dominant man, not a guy who's insecure and incompetent.

I created my DYNAMIC LIFE DEVELOPMENT System to help guys who are WAY too into the "I need to get a woman" part of the game and not enough into the "I need to get a life" part of the game. 

Having a woman will never fulfill you if you aren't a whole man in the first place. You'll just fall into more and more self-defeating beliefs and behaviours. Work on your own self-development with audio programs and enriching literature. Keep traction going everyday in your life by learning new methods to improve yourself and learn about women. 

THIRD: You need to make a COMMITMENT to yourself to learn this game by going out and playing it. Sometimes you'll win, sometimes you'll learn something. (Notice I didn't say "lose.") Make mistakes; it's the only way to win in the end.

I got a e mail from one of my clients, and it might be the most brilliant thing I've read all year. It said: 

"I don't learn as much about myself, how to manage my emotions, how to interact with people, and how to bounce back from failure as I do when I crash and burn and fail."

Read that again about twenty times until it makes sense.

Read it until you GET IT. 

I have spent a lifetime "crashing and burning" and each time it has been a "stepping stone" to greater success.
 
Until you slap your head and realize this Truth: It's not how many mistakes you make. It's how many times you make a mistake and KEEP ON TRYING, CHANGING, EVOLVING and GROWING as a MAN!

I know YOU know this, or you wouldn't be writing to Me. I am not a "Pick up Artist." For Me it's about Men evolving in their Masculinity (And Yes, Women in their Femininity! And I am telling You now guys. Women are seriously getting their act together in many ways. Your going to need a WHOLE lot more than just "good looks" in the changing landscape of "dating" and "relationships" between men and women) Like focusing and  Building a GREAT life for yourself in ALL areas of your Life! 

If you still need more than all this to move forward and create a better future for yourself then get HELP, your skepticism has probably gone beyond healthy and that will just drag You down even more and becomes a self-defeating cycle that feeds of it's self. And "Good Looks" or not your attitude will suck.

Now, if you're reading this and you're ready to take that first step towards better dating and a more satisfying  life - instead of moaning and complaining. 

I suggest you get help.  You'll be glad you did.

You do have a Choice!
 
I have a simple little saying "You want to be the "Best" you have to "Invest" to be the BEST!

If you want to know more of how best to "invest" in yourself.

Contact me.

And finally for this article...

"Average men know the rules................MASCULINE MEN know the EXCEPTIONS!"

And always leave a Woman all the better for knowing YOU then when YOU found her!"

Thank you for reading and I will catch you later

AF

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