The Dynamic Express Magazine

In this article about "Depression" I am coming at it from a very different angle.

First let me share with you a story...

About 10 years ago, I became friendly with a man who had a very successful printing business, as well as a significant personal fortune. 

He was a very charismatic guy - always good-natured, upbeat, full of fun, and easy to like.

Then - during the recession of the 2010's - his business collapsed. 

I don't remember the details, but he had taken on a lot of debt and lost a few of his biggest clients. 

Then, suddenly, he was bankrupt.

When I heard about it, I called to console him and offer a helping hand. 

It was too late. 

Sobbing, his wife told me that he had killed himself.

I was shocked. 

Devastated. 

I could not understand why he had done it. 

He had so much going for him. 

A beautiful family. 

Loving friends. 

Intelligence. 

Good looks. 

He was, in short, a person with great natural wealth. 

His financial wealth, as far as I was concerned, was just gravy.

Apparently, he did not see it that way.

Six months ago, another close friend lost his job due to the current recession. 

His income dropped from about half a million pounds a year to almost nothing. 

Within a few weeks, he had spiraled into a clinical depression. 

He would not leave the house.

He would not look for work. 

He talked about suicide. 

I was concerened he would do it.

I visited him, thinking I could talk him out of the hole he had dropped into. 

But all the support I gave him fell on deaf ears. 

He was consumed by his financial problems. 

He asked me to give him a job. 

I had nothing for him, but I told him I would see what I could do.

I wanted to buy some time.

I visited him again the following day. We talked about his financial situation. 

I was surprised to learn that he had millions of pounds in property and hundreds of thousands of pounds in the bank. 

He was in much better shape than 99 percent of the rest of the world.

Yet he was in despair, on the verge of suicide.

His problem, I realized, was not a financial one at all.

His problem was that his ego had suffered a near fatal blow.

Without a high-income job, he saw himself as worthless.

He had attached his self worth to his income.

When his income disappeared, so did his self-esteem.

The next time I visited, I brought him a copy of Norman Vincent Peale's "The Power of Positive Thinking." 

In this classic self-help book, Peale observes that depression is "one of the great problems besetting people." 

He argues that the root of most depression is a lack of self-esteem. 

He points to a survey of college students which indicated that, for 75 percent of them, self-esteem was the thing most lacking in their lives.

If you have ever choked up in an interview, forgotten your lines in a play, or blown an easy lay-up, you know how your self-esteem can take a little dip when your actions do not meet your expectations. 

And when you feel like you have failed in a big way, you can be crushed. 

It is hard to recover from that kind of blow.

That is what I know happened to my friend - actually, both of my friends (And sadly a good few more that I know.) 

They had decided that their financial setbacks were huge, personal failings. 

In both cases, the trouble was the result of an economic downturn, not foolish actions. 

Both were smart, hard working men who had been successful for many years. 

Then, for whatever reason, they failed... and they were broken.

Instead of thinking, "Gee, this isn't working anymore. How can I change to prosper in this new world?" they must have thought, "I always secretly knew I was a fraud. This proves it. Now the whole world will know what a failure I am."

The lesson here is that you do not want to link your self-esteem to your ability to make money. 

As billionaire businesswoman Oprah Winfrey says,

We are all being affected by the recession.

I have been affected Myself, but instead of becoming "depressed" and beating myself up with a lot of negative self abuse. 

I have got my head down, worked harder, taken the time to train and learn new ways and most of all, as one of my younger males clients said to me.

If you are like most people, you have lost half your life savings. 

You may feel your job is in jeopardy. 

You may have lost your job. 

You may be without income.

But the worst thing you can do right now is sink into a depressive state and beat your self up with the self abusive negative thoughts in your own head.

You will be good for nothing. 

You will be unable to enjoy time with friends and family. 

And you will be incapable of making a comeback.

Being depressed, a good friend once explained, is like falling into quicksand. 

The more you struggle, the deeper you get.

To avoid that quicksand, you have to change your thinking while you are still mentally healthy.

You must detach yourself from the idea - if you have it - that your self worth is measured by your money or matirial wealth. 

You must recognize that what counts most in your life is the minutes you spend learning and helping and growing - the time you spend helping other people, not dwelling on yourself.

In The Power of Positive Thinking, Peale says:

As an example, last year I coached a 52-year-old man who came to me "in great despondency." 

Everything in his life, the man said, had been "swept away" by a recent business setback. 

I recognized that although the man had indeed experienced a serious setback, his chief problem was the way he viewed it. 

"Suppose we take a piece of paper and write down the values you have left," I suggested. 

And so we did.

Among other things, the list included...

Awonderful wife - and a 30-year marriage.

Three devoted children.

Admiring friends, happy to help

Good physical health

Integrity

Not bad.

Make your own list right now. If you have trouble making that list, try this - a method I have recommended before in my articles and I use with my clients.

Imagine yourself as an observer at your own funeral. 

Surely you would not want to hear your spouse, your children, your friends and colleagues say things like... 

Think about what you would like them to say about you. 

Those are the things that really matter - positive personal assets that you do not lose just because times are tough.

If you are feeling down, focusing on those positive personal assets will help you overcome the worst feelings you could possibly have about yourself. 

And no matter what happens to your job or your income, you will not despair. 

You will be able to use all your natural resources to start over again. 

And the money will come back - as it always does when you have the Abundant Mind set and work ethic.

If you think what I said here can help a friend, pass it along. 

As for what happened to my friend who lost his job six months ago... that's a story for another time.

And although I have used the example of money in this article, the same goes for "Relationships" too.

I know many people who have a relationship end and they "Think" it is the "END OF THEIR LIFE!"

Instead of seeing all the "New Creative Opportunities" that are there in making themselves a "NEW LIFE!"

 

All of us have days when we’re out of sorts. 

You just wish you were in a better mood. 

You have had days like that, haven’t you?

Perhaps you tried to get yourself into a better state of mind but struggled to achieve it.

Sometimes you get stuck in your own emotional dumps and forget how easy it is to feel happier, so here are seven simple ways to lift your mood. 

Many people have found them useful.

Some of them may surprise you!

Most people know that going for a short daily walk is one of the best forms of exercise. 

When you are feeling down it is even more beneficial. 

If you can, go into a natural environment with plants and birds. 

Can you think of such a setting? 

What do you notice first? 

The different shades of greenery, the fresh smell of country air, the sounds of birds, or the sunlight shining through the trees? 

Make it real by taking a short stroll.

Music can shift a listener’s state within moments. 

It’s effect can be nearly magical. 

Dig out that CD you have not listened to in ages or tune in your radio to something you have never listened to before.

Read something (printed, not on line) different than what you would normally watch. 

There are a ton of different types of magazines can you get these days. 

Visit your local library or browse through a magazine rack. 

Pick up or buy a magazine you would not normally buy. 

You may discover something wonderful.

Laughter is one of the best ways to lift your spirits. 

Find a humorous book, or watch a comedy. 

Even better, try to learn a few new jokes and tell them to others.

Breathing meditation is a great exercise that you can do anywhere. 

Simply allow yourself to sit comfortably with your back straight. 

Now close your eyes and become aware of the flow of air into and out of your nostrils.

 That’s all there is to it. 

Do this for 10-15 minutes. 

Notice how pleasantly surprised you can be at how you feel afterward.

Most people can remember when they were young and used to doodle for hours. 

Kids love drawing silly little pictures. 

Drawing is not just for kids or artists. 

Whoever you are get some pens, pencils, crayons or whatever you have and just draw for the fun of it. 

Notice how your state of mind shifts.

The fact that you are reading this article suggests that you are probably much better off than most people on this planet. 

At times this may be hard to accept, but if you can read and have access to the internet, just those two things alone means you are better off than most people in the world. 

There are many human beings that barely have access to the basics of survival. 

There are people in lots of pain. 

Allow your compassion for them to grow.

These little methods are all pretty simple. 

There is nothing profound or life changing, but when all you need is a quick pick me up these may be just the thing you need. 

Putting simple ideas, methods, tools and techniques into action will help you achieve change more quick and easily – than you imagine.

What ways have You for changing your moods to being positive?

Your Thoughts

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