Can you be a "geek" and attract a great man or women?

Can you be a "geek" and still get a boy or girlfriend?

What would happen if I shared with you that being a "geek" is not a problem to you, and is a real asset.

Would you like to know the answer....

Then read on where I write about a subject that is dear to my own heart.

Geeky-ness.

First I want to ask you a question

Are you a "geek",  are you vulnerable enough for a man or woman and yet still be "Highly Attractive!"

I know, you would not want to admit it, and I have to be honest and say that I am. I like a lot of really nerdy things, I am into computers too.

And it does not hold me back from attracting the women I want.

Back when I was a kid, I was into sci-fi movies, dungeons and dragons, and every imaginable dorky thing out there. 

I was not ashamed of this.

I remember when the local radio station in my home town released their latest t-shirt that said, "I'm a Rocker!"

Me and my best friend rushed out and got ours and proudly wore them, to the laughs of just about everyone we knew.

I was geeky even when I was trying to be cool.

Well, if you still feel a bit on the "geek" side of things, let it be known that you can still be a HUGE success in social situations - both with men and women.

In fact, I am going to share some secrets about "geeky-ness" that you will want to know.

You know, a lot of men and women are ashamed (secretly) of their own lives. 

It is not overt, yet it is there. 

And it causes incredible problems with their ability to build attraction and confidence socially.

Ask yourself these questions...

Have you ever felt like you could not share a part of your life with a man or a woman because they would think you were weird?

Have you ever thought of yourself as "geeky" or "nerdy?"

Have you ever felt like there was "nothing special" about your life that a man or woman would be interested in?
 
Well, let me tell you a couple things about what you might be ashamed of...

1) Feel a little weird?

Everyone has a part of their lives that they think of as kind of "strange" or "weird."

EVERYONE... which means this is an excellent place to create rapport and deep bonding.

Just find a way to talk about the weird things in your life (showing him or her that you recognize that it is a little weird), and then get him or her to share their weirdness with you.

This works like you would not think.

HIM... "So I have to admit, I was once on the honour roll at school. And I wore a leather jacket, so my friends never gave me a hard time. What's something that no one knows about your high school days?"

HER... "Well, I'll make a confession. I used to skip my last class every few days so I could get a ride home where my girlfriends and I would watch our soap operas."

A little cross-disclosure like this will create a feeling of strong rapport.
 
2) You are a little geeky?

Let me tell you, everyone has a geeky interest of some kind.

You want to know mine?

How about... all things Science, evolutionary psychology, anthropology, relationship psychology... Doctor Who. I am also passionate about fencing, not the wooden kind... the sword fighting kind.

Dorky?

You bet.

And let me tell you this... every man and woman has a geeky interest that they would be embarrassed to talk about, and once you get it out of them, they are clay in your hands... they will not be able to resist you because you will have got past their icy persona that was created to keep the others away.

I have been able to convert girlfriends over to Doctor Who - simply by explaining that it is a soap opera in space... there is conflict, romance, Love, battles... and how COOL is Doctor Who the BIGGEST GEEK of ALL!
 
The second I reframe it like this, it spikes their curiosity. 

3) Nothing special about you?

Everyone has an interesting life. 

You just find your own life a little dull because you have been living with it your WHOLE LIFE... spend 20 or 30 years in the same mind and body and it all seems so dull after a while.

And I guarantee you that if you spent a few moments thinking back on your life, you would come up with some great stuff.... all you need is a short anecdote about your childhood (how you got in trouble usually makes a very cool story) and you are on your way.

All of your fears are COMPLETELY the same as everyone else...  you are afraid to expose them because it would make you feel VULNERABLE.

Let me tell you something else...

Vulnerability is VERY cool.

You see, a lot of the "hardcore" stuff that is out on the internet these days might tell you that you need to be super dominant, show him or her high social proof and strength... they are right in some aspects... to a degree.

And there is one thing... especially a woman recognizes up front is that only the strong man can be vulnerable.

It is a little dilemma of logic that you do not need to worry about. 

All you have to do is WORK it.

How Do You Use This Knowledge To Your Advantage?

Next time you are out and talking to men or women - and while you are in the process of building attraction - take a second to tell him or her something about your past that is a little (and I mean just a LITTLE) funny and embarrassing.

This will show that you do not take yourself too seriously, and it will show them that your ego (the big killer of relationships for many men and women) is not going to run amok.

For example, I like to work with the obvious.. I am a Big guy.

Athletic and strong, and BIG, like in built like a brick wall. 

Yet when I was younger I was painfully thin.

So I will tell a woman...

"You know when I was a kid, I was really skinny. My mum used to say that I had to run around in the shower to get wet."

Or..:

"My mum used to tell me I was so skinny, if I turned sideways, I'd disappear."

It is cute and it's a little self-deprecating (which is different than self-insulting... please - never put yourself down to get pity.)

You see how this works?

Your limitations are almost ALWAYS a key to stronger connection with most men and women.

I can guarantee you that there is nothing about you (including disabilities and physical limitations) that someone else has not turned into something positive for their life and relationships.

NOTHING.

In fact, thinking that you have limitations is really a cop-out. 

Because while you are curled up on the couch with a box of tissue and crying about the fact that you cannot attract  a man or women because you are...

  • Too fat  
  • Too thin
  • Too poor
  • Too old
While you are focused on that negative crap, you are really just giving yourself an excuse to NOT TAKE ACTION.

It is always easier to give up than put your energy into succeeding.

And the secret I want you to know about is that it takes a lot LESS energy to win than it does to go on losing.

So instead of thinking of your "geeky-ness" as something  a man or woman will not like. (Which to be honest with you is so untrue, what about the other men and women who are "geeks" too?)

Because you can turn your "geeky-ness" into a real positive asset.

Remember something I mentioned earlier in the article "that only the strong man or woman can be vulnerable." 

I KNOW this to be TRUE!

For all my years working as a Personal Development Coach with both men and women.

I KNOW that the MAN or WOMAN who can show their "vulnerabilities" is a very STRONG Man or Woman and secure in his Masculinity or Femininity.

It is not about being "wishy-washy" or weak or even being the dreaded "wimpy guy or girl."

Because it shows you are CONFIDENT as a man or woman, secure in your own self and that you can show your vulnerabilities. 

And that is a real "quality" in both a man or woman that other healthy men and women find highly "attractive!"

And if you "Get it" from reading this article... then you have learnt something.

Imagine, what would happen that instead of being ashamed of your "geeky-ness" you felt confident and proud of who you are.

How would you life change?



Are you even a little bit curious, the "Geek" in you wants to know?



Ange Fonce


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