Your Man Is Emotionally Pulling Away From You... What Do YOU Do? 

By Ange Fonce

Do you know there are CRITICAL moments that will either break you and your man apart... or  keep your relationship going strong?

And that how you HANDLE those "critical moments" means everything to the future of your love life?

Now let me turn to an "important issue"... I often receive emails from women and sometimes messages on my social sites asking me what it means when a man they were “courting” or in a “relationship” with pulls away from them... becomes “emotionally distant?”  

And my response is almost always the same... I tell them that pulling away is “very common” for a man... even in the best of relationships... what “matters here” is not that the man is pulling away... it is how you as the woman HANDLE the situation when he does... because while you cannot generally control when and why he pulls away... you CAN have “full control” over how you “respond” to it.

Think about that for a minute and read that statement again...

"Because while you cannot generally control when and why he pulls away... you CAN have full control over how you respond to it."

You have “enormous power” in your relationship with a man to steer things in a “beneficial direction”... even if he is not "cooperating" with you in any given moment... so let me ask you this...

"How do you usually respond when a man pulls away?" 

Do you get “upset” and “react out of fear” to the problem you “think” or “feel” he is creating... or are you “conscious” and “aware enough” to take a moment to make a “different choice”... a choice that could “reconnect” you both... rather than “push back” when you feel him “pulling away?"

A large part of handling this situation with a man actually involves not DOING very much at all... if you have ever heard of the expression "action in inaction"... you will want to keep it in mind here... the concept is that NOT taking action and “giving up control” of a situation is sometimes the most “powerful action” you can take... why?

Because you are allowing events to “unfold naturally” and you actually get to “learn information” you can use to then take the “necessary action”... let me show you what I mean in the context of this all too common “relationship scenario” where a man pulls back...

NON ACTION 1... Take a STEP BACK yourself...

When a man who has been showing a lot of interest in you suddenly “pulls back”... your immediate reaction is probably to launch into  "fix it" mode... you might start to worry... ask him  what he is “thinking” and “feeling”... and generally try to "fix" the situation... while this might seem like a sensible... proactive thing to do... it usually ends up leaving you “frustrated” and can actually create more “distance” between the two of you... ad have him “resenting” you for putting “pressure” on him.

That is because when one person in any “interaction” becomes the "convincer"... the other person will usually “resist”... it is human nature and you probably know it all too well from your “experience” with men... a key to not falling into the trap of trying to “fix things” when a man “withdraws” into himself and to not drive yourself crazy trying to get him out of it... is to first “understand” if this is a “natural pattern”... HE HAS in his own life.

If so... the first you need to do is to get clear that this is NOT about you... doing that will allow you to “clear your mind” and “stop acting” from a place of “worrying” and “stressing” if it is something “about you” or “your relationship.”

NON ACTION 2... Identify HOW he is Withdrawing..

Taking a “step back” also lets you do something else... it gives you an "opportunity" to “observe him” and if his “withdrawing” is more of a “natural pattern” of his own rather than a reaction to something specific in your relationship... there are two ways a man can withdraw... I call them "natural withdrawal" and "dysfunctional withdrawal."

Natural withdrawal is when a man pulls back into himself and his own mind for a few minutes or hours and takes “space for himself” and is a “natural behaviour” for many men to do... sure... he might shut down his “feelings” and “communication”... and he does not do this for long... he is just taking “time” to be in his “own space”...and "think things through"...   he is also able to come out of it and ultimately “communicate” and allow space for “your feelings” once he is out of it.

On the other hand... “dysfunctional withdrawal” does not allow for your feelings... it usually lasts longer and is more "isolating and intense”... and there can be two reasons for this.

First... if the “withdrawing patten” repeats itself frequently in “response” even to seemingly “little stresses” or things a man is not capable of handling “emotionally”... and it does not ultimately allow for the “exchange” and “communication” that a real relationship requires... it shows a lack of “emotional maturity” and the man has a real difficult time with handling “emotions”... his own AND yours.

Second... if a man “withdrawals” out side of his “natural pattens”... it is a sure sign there are “deeper issues” going on for him...  and something is wrong or he is struggling with a “deep worry” that is on his mind... and he has gone deep into his cave to “think” things through. 

The BEST kind of ACTION that brings him CLOSER...

Once you get the types of “withdrawal steps" I have shared above... there is a way to avoid the kind of “withdrawal” that makes you feel less “appreciated” or “understood” by a man... and once you “get this”... a man will love you and “appreciate” you ALL the more.

Here is something “interesting” about how men work that you probably never thought of... 

A man falls more DEEPLY in love with you because of the way you handle the "important moments" in your relationship... in ways other women cannot and do not do.

And do you “know”... they are very “simple” things to do and “understand”...

First... get to “know” and “really understand” your mans “natural rhythms”.. “habits” and “behaviours”... just do not “assume” you know... do not “believe” you know as a lot of women do... REALLY get to know him... you will save yourself so much pain... frustration and heartache... because you will get to know his “natural rhythms”... for when he is “withdrawing” into his “own space”... or if he withdraws “unnatural” outside of his “natural pattens”... that is when you will KNOW... there is something “genuinely” worrying him.

Second... learn to “know”... when to BACK OFF... this is the BIGGEST MISTAKE women make time and time again with men... they do not “back off” when “emotions” are getting to “intense” for a man and he needs to “shut down” and "withdraw" completely... she “pursues him”... and then she wonders why... when he is "feeling cornered" and "breaks" and he lets her “have it” in an “angry emotional outburst”... and sometimes unfortunately... a “physical attack”... and she is left  a “sobbing mess.”

Because she did not KNOW when to “back off”... she would not give him “space” to “cool down”... and his “safety valve” blew and he ROARED at her... and she gets severely “burnt”... and he “withdraws” from her even more feeling “guilty” and "ashamed"... and the woman that keeps on making her man feel “guilty” and "ashamed" will end up either having him "cheat on her" or “leave her.”

This is not the way to “communicate effectively" with a man... because the "bodies biology" changes in these highly charged “emotional moments” between men and women... and is known as “emotional flooding”... and that is when the “primal biology” of the “fight or flight” response takes over... and any “reasonable communication” goes out the window!

And a man “withdrawing”... in these “emotional intense” moments... is his way... his “safety valve”... that stops him getting into this “emotionally flooded” state... and the “smart woman” who “knows” and “understands” her man... will “recognize” this as the moment to "defuse" the situation... and you will “know” it is time to “back off”... to leave him be and let his “emotional temperature“ cool down... and you will not get “burnt.”

And when he has “cooled down”... he will come back to you... and be “closer” to you for giving him “space”... and let you back in again... he will “communicate” with you and “love” and “appreciate” you all the more. 

If you want "help" in "knowing" how to "understand" and "communicate" with men better... the please do Contact me.

As always... leave a man or woman all the better for knowing you.

Masculine Men and Feminine Women know and are the EXCEPTIONS!

They are truly Passionate and DYNAMIC Lovers!

Yours Sincerely


5 Simple Ways To Improve Your Intimate Relationship 

By Ange Fonce

All relationships have problems... and all relationships require work to keep them healthy... in this article I share some of the most common concerns that can sabotage your “intimate relationship"... along with some successful strategies that can improve the “loving health” of your relationship.

1... Technology...

Even though technology helps in keeping you connected in your relationships... it can also drive you apart.... ...

Continue reading ...

Has a man ever told you he loved you... or let on that he was utterly taken with you after just a few... “meet ups”... with him?

If so, on one hand it probably felt flattering... after all he must have felt something special for you to act this way... yet on the other hand, you have to ask yourself ... how do you know you can trust what he is saying... and that what he feels is real... and will LAST?

For a man... "courting"... a woman... and enjoying her company in the first few weeks... or...

Continue reading ...

How To Defuse Conflict And Avoid Destroying Intimacy In Your Relationships

Voices are raised. 

The hissing fits are in full flow. 

The anger levels are of the scale.

The claws are out.

And the fur is flying.

And that is just the cats!

Now we get to YOU!

How often do you find yourself in such conflict situations with your partner, that when you really think about it.

Are often over such trivial things, which with some reasoned thought, would be easy to resolve.

So how come you are not doing it?

Please feel free to forward this article to a friend... or let them know they can receive their own articles by subscribing to The Intimate Communion Magazine... I am sure they will appreciate your consideration of them.