Why Most Men Are Lame At Sex In Bed

Being "great in bed" is not just about the things you do right - but also about not making the embarrassing mistakes that really turn women off.  

Most guys fail in bed.  
But don't take my word for it - ask any woman that you are good friends with.  Better yet, ask a woman that is bi-sexual (so she has something to compare men to).  
There are women who are content with "good enough" and know how to move in a way to get themselves off even with a clueless guy, and there are women who complain and cheat, and there are women that just fake it and resign themselves to it.
  •   Most men WANT to be good in bed...  
  •   Most men WANT to be able to please the woman that they are with...
And yet they keep screwing up because they just DON'T KNOW any better.
The first reason that so many men fail in the bedroom is that they think that women want the same things that we as men want.
This is a natural, human trait.  

You never REALLY know what other people are thinking, so in trying to figure it out, you sometimes assume that they are thinking the same thing that YOU would think in the same situation.
A man who loves sports cars might talk forever about his new car trying to impress his date...while her eyes glaze over in boredom because she just wants to talk about her great new shoes.
And likewise, a man might start to think that a woman wants the same kinds of things in bed that he does.  
This works badly in both directions...
First it works badly because he thinks that the rhythm and intensity that he uses when he jerks off is probably what she wants when he is making love to her... and he thinks that the level of passion or quiet will be the same for her... or that she will be in the mood from the same things that get him in the mood.
Coincidences DO happen... but rarely THAT often, and many of these things just aren't going to line up.
It also works badly in the other direction because he assumes that the signals she is sending to him, and things that she is doing are WRONG if they are not what HE would do.
For example, if she slows him down or resists taking off her panties, he may think, "if I were turned on, my underwear would be coming right off now, so she must not be turned on."
Problem is... she may be VERY turned on, but slowing things down and resisting a bit is part of what SHE ENJOYS in the bedroom.
But it's too late, he's decided what it means (wrongly), and feels hurt or rejected and decides that he'd rather roll over and go to sleep than face more rejection.

The second big way in which men fail in the bedroom is when they go out and read up on WHAT WOMEN WANT.
These guys read books or magazine articles about "what works on women in the bedroom."  They hear about some technique that "drives all women wild."
The problem is, they now have this model in their head about what one particular woman likes, and, as it turns out...women are wildly different in their sexual preferences from each other.
In fact - even the woman who wrote the article about what women like (speaking for herself, of course) might not like what SHE herself wrote about on some other day or with some other man.
Because, for a woman, what she likes can change drastically with her mood and emotional state.  

And it can change even MORE when she is with a different partner.
With a different man, the chemistry changes - she doesn't feel comfortable with the same type of love - making, or there is something deeper she suddenly wants to explore because her heart is more open to it.
But the guy that read the article - he is sure he has information that is good because it was written by a WOMAN.  She surely knows what women want!
So he does what he's told to do in the article and he can't understand why it doesn't work on his girl.  Maybe he becomes frustrated with himself that he can't get it right, that he must be doing something wrong or that there's something wrong with him...
Or maybe he gets frustrated with his woman, thinking that she's just not normal or that she won't "open up" enough to get the amazing pleasure that the magazine article promised him that she'd experience.
Okay, I saved the best (worst) for last...
The number one worst thing that men do that really sets them up for failure in bed is...
Getting caught up in their own dumb insecurities.
First of all, let me explain that the reason that I'm calling them "dumb" is that these insecurities are usually both the chicken and the egg...the insecurities are not based on anything in the real world - they are based on...themselves... 
Insecurities based on insecurities.
Like worrying that maybe you aren't attractive or sexy enough (she's in bed with you, isn't she?)
Or worrying that your dick isn't big enough (According to every anonymous survey on the subject, men who's penises are exactly average in size rate themselves as "below average")
Worrying that you won't be able to get it up, or that you won't last long enough (worrying about it is the EXACT CAUSE of these problems!).
Worrying that you won't be good in bed (again, one of the main causes of not being good in bed, right here).
These worries all CAUSE the worries that guys worry about, and then they worry some more.
On a personal note... I get that these insecurities are not easy to handle and that the problems can be VERY real to the guy experiencing them... it's not like you can just shut them off with a switch...
If you want SPECIFIC and COMPLETE ways to deal with each of these individually, you can Contact me.
Now I will be talking about ONE, incredibly powerful method for overcoming ALL of these insecurities... and the other two mistakes I talked about above too.
For a woman, experiencing an orgasm isn't something that YOU DO to her, as much as something that she ALLOWS based on her feelings of trust and connection.
When a guy is feeling insecure, she tenses up and feels what she might describe later as "weirdness".
Basically, she'll be uncomfortable and she won't have an orgasm.
Here is a simple FACT that most guys just don't understand:
A man who is comfortable with himself, who accepts his own sexuality and is confident about what he wants to do, and what he enjoys in the bedroom, is going to be good in bed for just about any woman.
Even if he doesn't know ANY special techniques, even if he doesn't have a big penis, even if he can't last very long...
She won't feel that weirdness that blocks her from enjoying her own animal turn-on.
It might not be the best sex she's ever had in her life, but she'll say, "that guy was good in bed, that really got me off."
So here's the one mega-tip for dealing with knowing what women want, not relying on the useless techniques you read in magazines on line, and dealing with insecurities:
It's what I refer to as "Paying Attention" or "Becoming a Sexual Psychic".  
And it is the MASTER KEY for great sex.
Consider Paying Attention to be a two-way system...  
In the first direction it is really listening to her body, her breathing, her muscle tension, her moaning, the changing temperature of her skin...so that you can tell, in real time, EXACTLY what she likes and doesn't like... what's working and what's not working...
In the second direction it is completely SELFISH as you tune into her body, her smell, her texture, her breathing... for your own pleasure...for soaking up the enjoyment of her feminine sexuality... for your own turn-on.
Combined, this is the basic foundation for truly incredible, mind-bendingly passionate sex.
  • Paying Attention solves the first mistake that men make, because instead of just assuming she responds the same way that you do... you actually tune in and notice exactly what she is REALLY responding to.
  • Paying Attention solves the second mistake that men make because if a technique you read somewhere is working, you can enjoy it and follow it to where ever it leads you...
But if it's not working, you'll know right away and won't just keep pushing it, waiting for something to happen that is never going to happen.
And Paying Attention solves ALL of those pointless insecurities that almost all men feel at one time or another... because they are created as you THINK about them...
So when you Pay Attention to HER instead of whatever insecurity you were thinking about, it just dissolves - disappearing back to exactly where it came from in the first place.  
Insecurities are about thinking about PAST failures or ideas you gave yourself in the PAST...and worrying about what might happen in the FUTURE or how she might respond or you might fail to perform in the FUTURE.
Paying Attention to the woman takes your focus away from the PAST and away from the FUTURE, and puts you firmly in the PRESENT.
This might not be easy at first.  Sometimes men's insecurities run deep and will scream for your attention.
Practice ignoring them in favour of the naked woman.
As you get better and better at this basic technique of Paying Attention, you will create deeper intimacy with your lover as well.  And then really amazing things begin to happen...
Whether you've been married for years and want to rekindle the spark, intimacy, and intensity of your love, or just completely seduce and amaze the next woman you take home...
If I had only one tip I could ever give a man, this would be the one.
I've got a lot of other things for you to try out once you've built this basic foundation - things that will take her sexual pleasure to a place that, really, is almost unbelievable.
Thanks for reading.  

I would like to think that I am bringing value to your life and your relationship in every article.

And practically speaking, that completes this conversation.
And remember....always leave a man or a woman all the better for knowing you. Average men and women know only the rules. Masculine Men and Feminine Women know and are the EXCEPTIONS!

For Love, Passion and Intimacy.......

Catch you later

Ange Fonce

What are Your thoughts and ideas?

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