Why Many Men Are Insecure About Sex. And it's not all to do with "Vibrators" and "How" Women can "Help" them.

As a Relationship Coach and Sex Therapist I know a pattern of what is often going wrong in people's sexual relationships. 

And I know that when you can fix this ONE thing, not only will it solve something that's causing stress in your relationship, but, seriously, it could make your sex life incredibly satisfying, nearly instantly.

The reason is that this particular problem (that almost EVERY COUPLE seems to struggle with) creates an avalanche of other problems in your sex life.

When a couple has this issue completely handled, it can likewise create a tidal wave of other great things that you start doing RIGHT...AUTOMATICALLY.

I am talking about dealing with "sexual insecurities."

Now, of course, both men and women have sexual insecurities, and there is no point in assigning blame or figuring out who is weirder about their sexuality.

On some level, we're all wired to be a bit weird around mating.

What I have found is that if ONE of you can be more confident and comfortable around your sexuality, it can go a long way to helping your partner become more confident over time.

I am about about to make some "generalizations" here... and I am going to say that, in general, if a woman is completely comfortable and confident with her sexuality, it MIGHT help to unlock the insecurities in her partner so that he can be more confident in bed... but often it can trigger him into feeling more insecure.

In the worst case scenario, that insecurity around your sexual confidence can cause him to actually get angry and even try to make you feel badly or wrong about being sexually expressive.

Ouch. Us guys can be so fragile with our ego's......As many of you girls know.

On the other hand, in general, if a man is more comfortable and confident around his sexuality, it tends to help give his partner the "permission" she needs to feel more confidence herself.

So there are some big benefits to couples if we can get men to deal with their insecurities around sex.

I get a lot of men writing to me that they have problems with not lasting long enough in bed, or problems maintaining an erection, or problems getting her in the mood, or problems getting her to be more passionate, or problems getting her to enjoy sex...etc, etc.

When I get to work with a lot of these men, that's NOT their problem at all.  That's just the symptom.

It's like a guy saying that his problem is that he always has a black eye and asking what he can do to make it hurt less.

The black eye isn't the problem, the problem is that he keeps getting punched in the face.

Now if it turns out that he's in the habit of walking up to every man that is twice his size and challenging him to a fight. Am I going to tell this guy to take an aspirin and use an ice-pack on the eye?


I am going to tell him to stop getting into fights and find something better to do with his time...Or at least take a few boxing lessons and learn to cover his head better.

So when men tell me that that their wife is never in the mood for sex...And men tell me that their girlfriend doesn't make any noise during sex and he's not sure if she's enjoying it...And men tell me all of these things that they think are going wrong with their relationship.

Almost every time, I realize pretty quickly that they are describing the black eye, and they are asking me for aspirin and an ice-pack.

And what all of these guys actually need are "boxing lessons".

What I mean is... All of these men have the same problem, and that problem is SEXUAL INSECURITIES.

If you completely turned these men around and gave them POWERFUL SEXUAL CONFIDENCE, they would have exactly zero of these other issues in their lives.

And their PARTNERS would be THRILLED.

If they could just feel GOOD about their own sexuality, all of these other issues they had with their woman would likely take care of themselves.

Now, it's clear that I don't mean that these men don't LIKE sex...Even men with physical disabilities like sex.

Everybody who is healthy mentally and emotionally likes sex.  

The question is, does he feel confident and secure that his sexuality and his masculinity are good things. That it's cool to be a sexual male, and that women (and if you are his partner I'm talking about YOU) APPRECIATE THIS QUALITY in him.

The answer is almost always, "no."

And the reason that it's almost always "no" is that modern society has all but destroyed the chances for ANY man to feel good about his masculinity.

From an early age men learn that any kind of assertiveness of their sexual feelings  is met with the big smack down.  It is not polite, it can get you into trouble, and you ought to be ashamed!

And there are parent, teachers, and other authority figures telling men that when they behave in masculine ways as a child - from being "too loud", or "too wild", or exploring where they shouldn't, or being aggressive... these things are BAD.

Obviously I could have made this list much, much longer...As I am not a politically correct guy and LOVE being a MAN and My MASCULINITY!

So the next question has to be: What can make men feel GOOD about their masculinity and their sexuality?

Any man could be GREAT in bed if only he could leave behind the guilt, the shame, the pressure. All of this extra BULLSHIT that surrounds sex.

Because if you take all of that extra bullshit out of the situation... what's left?

Just a man and a woman, and their desire to enjoy each other, and please each other, and share pleasure and......INTIMACY!

And that is magic.

When your man feels good about his sexuality, you get swept up in his confidence and ease.

It becomes easy for you to become more sexual, more adventurous, and surrender to more powerful and more frequent orgasms.

The next step is so simple...Keep reading these articles and take action...actually APPLY what you read.  I'll keep writing and posting more tips for you and your partner to gain the skills that lead to confidence and competence in the bedroom.

Better still sign up and have my articles posted direct to via e mail.

Or, even better, get on the fast track and learn every sexual technique and conversational strategy you need to become more confident and powerful in your sexuality.  

I'll be talking to you again soon and sharing more information on how to completely blow your lover's mind in the bedroom (and others places!!).  

In the meantime, enjoy all the best in your life and your relationships.

For Passion.

Ange Fonce

BY THE WAY, if you ever want to reproduce one of these articles in a blog, in an email, in a book, on a milk carton... or on one of those banners they hang on the back of airplanes at the beach... GO AHEAD! You have got my blessing. Also please feel free to forward this article to a friend - and let them know they can get in touch with Me if they have a problem they want HELP with, or to start receiving their own articles by subscribing to this blog. I am sure They will appreciate your consideration of them. Just promise me, you will make sure you include a link back to my website. I would call that a "FAIR" deal! Wouldn't YOU?

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