What does it mean when a man says he needs some space?

What is he really thinking or feeling when he zones out in front of the TV or computer and acts like he does not want to talk to you?

More importantly, how do YOU react when this happens, and what do you say to him?

There is an important reason why a man will tell you he needs space... and understanding that can mean the difference between him feeling like you really "get" him, or him doubting your relationship.

Now get ready to learn why most men do not call women back, even when they seem interested and say they are going to.

If you keep reading, you are going to learn...

WHY this happens...

WHAT it means...

And HOW to go about changing the situation so that when a man says he is going to call, he means it and be looking forward to seeing you again.

Here we go...

First... I wanted to share an email I got from a reader, that is exactly about this "we had a great conversation, he got my number, and then he never called me back" scenario.

Question From Marrie

"Hi Ange,

I have been reading your articles and getting really good insights. Especially what you've said about being unpredictable.

I have a question for you that you might have gotten before a thousand times and if you give me a practical answer on how to deal with it, you're a genius and you'll officially become my guru forever!

Why do men not call when they say they're going to? And, most importantly, is there any way to avoid this? Or is there any kind of teaser, or challenge I can throw into the conversation, when he says he's going to call, so it can cause him to really call?

It has happened twice with me in the past week with two different guys I was interested in :(

The first one said he was going to call so we could go out and talk about his itinerary to Europe.

The second one said he was going to call about a whether he'd be in town (a nearby town) so I could go visit.

I feel so frustrated? How can I avoid being in these situations and feeling like such a loser? Should I just not accept that he tells me he's going to call? Like just make an excuse so I have to call back myself? Of course I'd do that without letting him realize that I'm actually unsure he's going to call.

I guess this is another typical thing of guys :( (especially where I live) Let's see if you have a great theory on this one as well - one that works!!! ;) Regards, M"

Marrie... UK

I often receive e mails like this one in my in box and I sat and wrote Marrie a reply.

Then I thought to myself ....

"Why don't I write an article for you the readers of Intimate Communion on this very subject, explaining why men do this and do not phone you back?"

So let us get right to it....

Now for these strategies that I am going mentioned, for them to work... you first need to understand something important before you can know what to do about it.

You need to understand why men do not call when they say they are going to in the first place.

So... let us go over the different reasons men think and behave this way... there is a lot to learn from each one.

And while you are reading each one... see if you can figure out what each situation and reason has in common.

Why Men Do not Call... Situation 1

Some men are too immature to be honest and straight-forward with a woman.

Sometimes men are just being dumb and giving themselves ego strokes by flirting with you, even though they never really thought they would call.

And they get your number anyway to feel good and to have it "just in case" they get some random urge or reason to call you in the future.

Plus, getting a woman's number is a kind of "trophy" to show to other immature men.

Why Men Do not Call: Situation 2

They were just looking for a hook-up, and you were not "fling" material (which is a good thing, unless that's all you are looking for.)

Often times, men think they just want a woman to be "physical" with.

If you are out at a club or a bar and you meet a man, often he will have "hooking up" on his mind.


If you meet a man like this and, in his eyes, you are the woman he would bring home to mum, then you might not be the girl he will want to spend his time with... at least for the near future.

Yet in spite of this, he takes your number, in case he gets the crazy foreign idea in his head that he would actually want a great woman for a real relationship.

And do you what?

He does not come to that realization for a very long time - so he does not call.

I am not saying it makes sense, and that is how some men operate.

And in a strange way, men who do this are doing you a favour at that time in their life.

The timing was not right.

Why Men Do Not Call: Situation 3

They thought they were being "polite" by getting your number, even though they never felt like calling.

Have you ever given your number to a man who asked for it, meanwhile you were already dreading his call and feeling inside that you had given him a fake number?


And I know it sucks to think about this, have you ever thought that the tables could be turned?

See... if men enjoy their conversations with you and are not that interested, they sometimes feel a polite "obligation" to get your number.

It is a kind of way to end the interaction on a positive note... even though they never really thought about if they intended to call you.

I know it stinks, and men are not often up front and assertive when it comes to the opposite sex.

Why Men Do Not Call: Situation 4

They were interested in you at first, and after a little while they started to feel like something was "off"... maybe even after they got your number.

And, while you were trying so hard to create random reasons for you to see each other again, and to not have a man get your number and not call again, they could sense your subtle fear and discomfort.

So the attraction and connection they had just started feeling for you and had tuned into with you, changed and was "broken."

Why Men Do Not Call: Situation 5

They lost your number or forgot to call... plain and simple and that is it.

OK... now let me ask you...

Did you figure out what each of these situations has in common?

I will give you a hint:

It has something to do with your feelings.

Give up?

There are 2 things actually.

First off, none of them have ANYTHING to do with you being a "loser," like Marrie mentioned.

See, the fascinating thing is that in each of these situations, it is YOUR CHOICE to make the MEANING out of them that you want.

Unfortunately, it seems like the meaning you have chosen to make has been NEGATIVE.

In other words, you have actually started to criticize yourself and think even more negatively because two men did not pick up the phone and punch in your number.

Talk about a way to make sure you keep screwing up and feeling bad about your love life.

And worse, men can actually sense these things when you meet them and will instantly categorize you as a woman that they do not want to be around if you have got that freaked out, negative, over- attachment to the casual conversation you are having with them.

Here is the second thing each of these situations has in common...

Of the ones that do not involve men just being weird or "unavailable" for more than a casual fling, there is a common theme going on.


See, there is something I do not think you know you are doing here...

You seem to know about an important concept when it comes to men - teasing and throwing in certain kinds of "challenges" to attract their interest and attention.

And... there is a huge difference between KNOWING what these things are and actually DOING them.

The thing is, almost all women KNOW that they SHOULD tease and excite a man to dial up his interest.

Yet when it comes to actually doing these things in a fun, consistent, and exciting ways, they fall short.


Because who wants to bother?

And it is supposed to better for someone to just like you for you?


And what if there is a real and genuine "you" that men just need some help to see with so much other stuff going on?

And what if you are hiding that away because of your frustrations from the past or fears about what might happen in the present?

Here is a radical thought...

With things not going exactly how you want them to go in your life - imagine if you actually changed a few of YOUR everyday patterns of behaviour with men to try and get a few different results.

What are the odds that part of the common denominator here is YOU, and not that all men have the exact same problem or issue with calling back?

Would it be too much to ask that you at least try a few different things that were outside of your "natural" comfort zone of what you have always done or what makes sense to you?

I do not think so... and you sound more than open to it and have a positive attitude.

So, let's talk about what those patterns are for you to break, and what to try instead that  with men.

Creating "REASONS" For A Man To Call You Back.

In Marrie's email she lets me know that she already "gets" some of what to do, like teasing and being challenging, yet that she does not quite know yet how to put it to work in her courting life.

Let me change that for you.

Here is how...

You need to start creating exciting reasons for a man to want to see you again.

I will repeat that so you hear it again and take the time to let it sink in...

You need to start creating EXCITING REASONS for a man to WANT to see you again.

I will give you a minute to think about what that means... write them down.

Have you done that?

OK, come back.

There is something lots of single women do when they meet guys and want to see them again.

And, it makes it so that the man is not very interested or excited to re-connect with the woman afterwards.

It is when a woman tries to come up with any old reason under the sun to "re-connect" with a man, not realizing how important the "reason" actually is.

It usually goes something like this...

Woman meets man.

Man and woman start to connect.

They talk about "interesting" stuff and the woman becomes interested in the man.

The man enjoys the conversation and talking to the woman, who is a great person and seems attractive.

The woman feels a connection and assumes that he must feel it too since it is there for her.

The man asks for her number and she kind of "lets down her guard" and becomes very friendly with him and feels comfortable.

The woman then starts talking about the things that they can do together when they see each other next, based on the conversational topics they have had.

The man's attraction, intrigue, and interest in the woman suddenly drops off.

End of story.

So, what happened here?

In short, the woman stopped doing the things she was "naturally" and subconsciously doing at first that made the man feel attracted to her, and instead started treating him like a sort of "best friend."

I have name for this...

The "let's be friend's approach."

This approach is usually followed up by offers to do favours, run errands, or give gifts.

Translation - ZERO ATTRACTION... there is a male equivalent to this... "Mr Nice Guy."

And it is further destroyed by trying any excuse, no matter how mundane, to make future plans together.

See what is happening here?

And yes, there are always exceptions to the rules.

Women who are so naturally attractive to men, physically and "socially," can and do take the more casual and friendly approach... and it works great for them.

Yet we are not talking about those situations.

We are talking about the situations where things, unfortunately, do not fall into place so effortlessly.

OK, so back to creating "reasons" that actually get men to call back.

Let us start by talking about why the "reason" is so important... and then we will get into a specific example.

The "reason" that you create, for a man to reconnect with you, is important because it builds the entire CONTEXT and MEANING in a man's mind of how he thinks about you after he leaves.

That reason you give is a large part of what determines, in his mind, HIS reason for calling, or not calling.

So here is how to create great "reasons" with a man.

First off, stop making future plans with men for first "meet up's" around things that are BORING, everyday, and PREDICTABLE.

Yes, trips to Europe can be fascinating, cool, sophisticated, cultural, and all kinds of great things.

And yes, talking about Europe, travel, sites, art history, etc. can interest a man intellectually.

And I have to admit that travelling to Europe has involved some of the most romantic moments of my life.

These are great things to talk about with a man in random conversations.

And guess what?

Planning a trip with a man is NOT going to make him FEEL those romantic feelings with you just because you have become his travel guide.

Planning travel can be looked at as a kind of chore for some people... especially men.

In other words, you could think that the romance of Venice or Florence rubs off on him somehow through some magic "transference" as you talk about them...


You could start doing the things that will make him FEEL ATTRACTED and romantically interested in YOU.

Are you with me here?


You have got to remember...

Attraction is not created by "logic."

A man does not talk to a woman about Europe and become fascinated and sexually charged by her knowledge of the Duomo, the Sistine Chapel, or the fine wines of France's Bordeaux region.

Attraction does not take place when a man thinks inside his mind... 

"Gee, she is smart, cultured, well travelled, etc., I think I'm going to feel attracted to her."

That is not how it works at all... just like that's not how you become interested and attracted in men.

It is MUCH more in your subconscious.

Think Chemistry.

So, can a man "reason" with you so that you feel ATTRACTION or CHEMISTRY with him?

Did not think so.

And he can DO things that will make you FEEL ATTRACTION, even if you are not really "choosing" to be attracted to him.

Well, it works the same way for men becoming attracted to women.

And sure, the things that are "logically attractive" like travel in Europe do not hurt... and they are really just window-dressing for the things that are going on underneath the surface in your mind and emotions.

What makes a man feel attracted is the EMOTIONAL EXPERIENCE he has that a woman creates with him or guides him to.

Attraction is a largely a SUBCONSCIOUS FEELING that comes in response to the unexpected, the unpredictable, and the things that can not help to draw us in, to connect in an emotional way.

So let us land the plane here...

If you want a man to call back, give him a "reason" that is interesting, unpredictable, fun, etc.

And most importantly, it has got to be a reason that will make him FEEL ATTRACTION for you.

If you do something less predictable, like tell him...

"Hey, since you're going to Europe, if you're good I'll tell you a few secrets about what makes the French such great lovers... or great cooks... whichever you're more curious about..."

Now that is sure to get a man's attention... and keep it so that he will call you back.

Notice that this still says everything you want to say to a man about wanting to connect with him again.

And it does so in a fun, interesting, teasing, challenging, and unpredictable way that keeps him thinking about you and guessing.

And, it does it without making him feel that you are desperate to make sure that he is going to call you - or that you are just trying the "super- sized friend approach."

So, let me say it again...

You have to build ATTRACTION to get what you want.. whether it is a phone call, a second "meet up" or more.

There's one other thing that is important Marrie mentioned...

"Should I just not accept that he's not going to call?"

Great question.

Here is the thing...

It is important for you to have "boundaries" with men.

It is important for your own good, to help him know what's fair game and what is not, and to lay some constructive framework for a future relationship.

A key step in every growing relationship is to communicate what your personal boundaries are so that the other person can learn to respect them.

And in situations where you do not even know the person very well, it is not as simple as just laying it out there.

It is also important that you do not communicate these boundaries in a pushy, weird, needy, overly- sensitive way where men will instantly pull away from you.

I know, I know... to lots of women this sounds like a contradiction.

When they hear it they will think...

"You mean I'm supposed to be "unpredictable" and create attraction, but I'm also supposed to be assertive enough to communicate my boundaries."

"This is too much hassle... I just want to be me, and if a guy doesn't like it, then tough!"

It is no surprise that a lot of the women with this attitude (and men) are single and home alone on Friday nights watching TV reruns or a DVD.

And wonder why their relationships just seem to fall apart after a while... over and over.

The truth is, communicating boundaries and creating attraction with a man are NOT mutually exclusive activities.

AND... if you know how, these kinds of situations can become AMAZING OPPORTUNITIES to create attraction and GROWTH between you and a man. 

It is one of the main principals of SOCIAL COURTING.

If you know how to communicate with a man in the right way, you can get the response that you want (attraction) AND communicate a clear message.

Which in your case might be for him to respect your boundaries by calling if he says he is going to call.

And if you do not "understand" the subtle specifics of how to communicate with a man this way, then often times you will come off as pushy or "bitchy" like lots of other women do when they try to assert boundaries early on with men.

Try saying something like this in a semi- serious way and with a smirk on your face...

"You know, I might just decide to give you my number, but I'm not sure if you're the right kind of guy yet - because I'm VERY PICKY and I only give my number out to guys that A) have their act together and B) are smart enough to know what they're missing if they don't call."

Then write down your number and hold it out for him to grab.

And when he reaches for it, pull it away from his hand a little bit so he misses it...

Then keep teasing him and ask him again with a wry smile on your face...

"Well, do you have your act together? Because I really don't have time for boys who don't call..."

This kind of thing will drive a man CRAZY and triggers a deep level attraction response - that is not just a "physical" thing.

I have shared with you some specifics about early interactions with men and creating ATTRACTION.

And if you want to learn the actual "psychology" behind what creates attraction with men, how a man's mind works on an emotional level, and how to create a LASTING EMOTIONAL CONNECTION with a man that will have him lead you both into a great situation together, then the information in this article is just the tip of the iceberg with some starter material.

Then please do Contact me.

When you work with me,  you will learn how to understanding men and how attraction works while courting and in relationships.

You will learn the easily-avoided courting and relationship mistakes that most women make... you will learn very specific ideas and "How-To's" to help you instantly become closer with a man.

Do not keep on living the predictable situation of your man withdrawing from you and acting irritated or frustrated just because you need to talk to him about something that is important to you. 

You will learn all about "bridging the emotional differences" between men and women when you are communicating with a man.

Understanding what emotional differences between men are and how to deal with them is critical to creating a deep connection with a man.


If you are going to get into, and past, the "honeymoon phase," then there needs to be a whole lot more going on than just a physical attraction.

You will find out how to create the kind of attraction that is deeper and more lasting than the physical.

You will all about the communication secrets to developing and growing lasting relationships.

So, do not wait...

Will you start turning what used to be frustrating situations with men into opportunities to create a close, loving relationship that works for both of you... and a RELATIONSHIP that LASTS!

And you will be on your way to a whole new world of connection, attraction and communication with men.

Are you ready to take your interactions with a man to the level where he's experiencing the kind of ongoing, lasting attraction that has HIM working to become closer and more committed with YOU?

Will you invest your time in yourself to learn exactly how to overcome that frustrating feeling that if you try to talk to a man and protect your own personal boundaries, that he will just withdraw and disconnect - leaving you more frustrated than you were when he was distant and had little idea what was going on with you and your relationship.

Unfortunately, this is an experience that many women have when they talk with a man about their relationship.

The man misunderstands them, gets freaked out by the situation and all the "emotions," and then withdraws.

Well, I am here to tell you that it is possible to turn these situations into opportunities for you both to grow closer.

And... I have taught many women exactly how to do this.

If you have been in a relationship with a man and you knew you were experiencing the kind of connection and attraction that could lead to a great and lasting relationship... and he just did not seem able to COMMIT to making things work with you over the long term, then there is help there, too.

Because I will share with you exactly how to move from that casual, UNCERTAIN, UNCOMMITTED place with a man... and guide you step-by-step towards building the physical, emotional, and even the spiritual connection that will lead him to want to COMMIT to you, and only you.

Are you one of those women who go their entire lives, and live out their whole relationships with men never having the kind of confidence and certainty that comes from being with a man who is deeply committed to them both physically and emotionally.

Will you let your relationship stay UNCERTAIN and UNCOMMITTED, when you could have the close connection with a man that can come from knowing how to create this unbreakable bond.

It is time to learn how to avoid the RESISTANCE a man will naturally put up when it comes to a deep level of COMMITMENT in a relationship.

Contact me

As always leave a man or woman all the better for knowing you. 

Average men and women know only the rules. 

Masculine Men and Feminine Women know and are the EXCEPTIONS!

They are Passionate DYNAMIC Lovers!

For Love and Intimacy...

Ange Fonce


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