3 Practices Toward Building Your Dynamic Masculine Confidence That Attracts Women!

What does giving off the “creepy vibe” have to do with that other great attraction-killer with women: “the friend zone?”

They are bookends of the exact same malady.

The malady of split self.

Let us heal that split so you can bring yourself truthfully, sexually and powerfully to women for the benefit of all.

First - the Friend Zone. Do you end up there too often?

Do you meet women, start conversations, even connect with them, but as the conversation stutters or dies or comes to a natural resolution, do you end up leaving with a handshake or perfunctory hug?

Maybe exchange numbers but as friends?

Is there no sexual charge between you even though you deeply want there to be sparks and lightning bolts and fireworks exploding around your bodies?

And do you leave with that empty feeling of “close one, buddy, you’re sweet, thank you for playing.”

Why does it happen? 

Your Dynamic Sexual Energy Is You! 

It is because you are dissociated from your true sexual masculine nature.

Maybe you have shame around sex.

Around your desire for sex.

Maybe you do not feel worthy on some level, or attractive enough to deserve sex from the woman before you.

If you think it is true, it will be true for you.

And if make it your practice, every day, to clear away those thoughts., it will become untrue.

Can I be more clear than that?

Your masculine sexual energy is not something weird and perverted.

To the contrary - your true sexual energy is intimately connected with - and in fact is the same thing as - your will power, your ability to boldly live and project your masculine will into the world in general.

It is core to your very life force, which is the most sacred, and pretty much the most natural thing about you.

In spiritual terms, your sexuality is your root or “power” chakra.

Your bodily sexual center is literally called “foundaiton.”

In colloquial English, it is having  masculine balls.

Before we get to what to do with these wonderful, brass, mighty balls of yours, lets go to the other end of the spectrum. 

You Are Most Attractive When You Stop Thinking All The Time.

Let us say you have been reading “pick-up” materials hoping to meet, conquer and bed gorgeous women.

You go out, see a beautiful woman (or if your mind has been degraded by pick up lingo, your “target”).

You file through your “opening routine” file and pull out the “hey did you see that fight outside” opener or the “jealous girlfriend” opener, calculating all the while how she might respond and which Lego-piece of dumb pick-up routine to impart next.

Or maybe you are flashing your big ring or frantically figuring out a way to “demonstrate higher value” or lower her self-esteem.

Any woman who is not half-drunk or a ditz will feel that you are dissociated from your real self.

Just as the Friend Zone aspect of you has your good, normal, kind brother/son/friend self separated from your inner erotic masculinity, so too the Creepy Guy part of you separates the true, grounded, open, present erotic man you are from the poorly-guised FALSE self that you are putting on.

When you are Creepy Guy, you are in your head, calculating, calibrating tactics, rather than simply relaxed in your body being present with the luscious ready creature in front of you.

Do You Really Think A Woman Cannot Tell The Difference?

Wake up - She can.

Look, honestly , we have all experienced nervousness approaching women.

It is evolutionary – approaching a strange woman with romantic intent has, for scores of centuries, been a life-threatening risk.

Her family/clan/tribe/townsmen might kill you for trying to steal their “asset.”

That kind of cellular memory goes deep, and lingers.

More consciously, approaching a beautiful woman also raises every self-doubt about yourself that you have - are you tall enough, handsome enough, fit enough, smart enough, funny enough, sexy enough.

In short - are you “enough?”

So…

Here is your choice: you can stay stuck in the paralysis of self-doubt.

You can go to years of therapy.

Or (and) you can switch your frame starting RIGHT NOW.

Because here is the truth: if you think you are enough, you ARE enough.

Women want to be inspired by who you are, and will overlook everything else if you can inspire their admiration and offer them the leadership and cherished that they crave.

If you can bring your self-worth forward boldly, honestly and without adornment, she will feel your genuine worth.

This is EXACTLY where you want to be

3 Practices Toward The Dynamic Confidence Of Masculinity

It is the golden mean between nice-guy and creeper.

It is strong.

It is vulnerable.

It is powerful.

It is honest.

It is authentic.

It is being unapologetic about being a sexual masculine man.

Or reference, see this scene with Javier Bardem in Vicky Christina Barcelona: note these lines of dialog...

1. “Why not? Life is short. Life is dull. Life is pain. And this is the opportunity for something special.”

2. “Does she always analyze every inspiration until its grain of charm is – uh – squeezed out of it?”

3. “I came over her with no subterfuge and gave you my best offer…”

See the scene here, (but come back and finish this article to leave your comments!)

http://youtu.be/ih6Baoop5G4

In this scene, Bardem is direct, honest, un-calculating and in a state of offering rather than taking.

Yes, he is handsome, but he is handsome because of his relaxed confidence, despite the weight of his “bad divorce.”

How can you move toward this kind of strength, toward this bold, golden mean between nice-guy sexual timidity and creeper aggression?

Here are three practices

1. BOLDLY RELEASE

When a negative self-thought arises, you take a moment, recognize it, separate it out from the rest of yourself, ask yourself if you need that thought, ask if you can do without it - and then just let it go.

The important thing is to recognize that it is only a thought.

It is only your thought.

It is not hers.

She might not have any judgment on height or hair or job or your relationship history.

This is a practice you must do daily.

You can learn these practices when you work with me.

2. BOLDLY INTEGRATE YOUR POWER

If you are too much a Friend Zone Dweller, it means that you are not living your true power in general.

As one of my most influential teachers says, “how you penetrate the world is how you penetrate a woman.”

These two abilities are not separate.

To approach and connect with a woman from your Golden Masculine Self, your “power” or “will” self must be vital and active.

That means you just start acting as if you deserve what you want in the world.

There are two ways to do this...

A: The Way of the Creepy Man.

You take for yourself.

You claim for the sake of yourself.

You cheat.

You step on others.

You leave a trail of pain and damage.

And with women, you project “get” energy from them - you doggedly try to get from women anything you can - attention, physical contact, kisses, phone numbers, sex.

B: The Way of the Inspired Man.

You “give.”

In business and your life, you give value and consideration.

You over deliver. You give attention and presence.

With women, you give laughter and positive feeling.

You give your authentic truth in your observations and truth in your intentions.

You give without fear of rejection and without expectation of “taking” anything from her.

This is REAL masculine power - and far more seductive than actively trying to “get” anything from women.

It is what Bardem gives in the scene above.

In my conversations with men, there is often a block...

“How will I get anything if I only focus on giving?”

Simple.

Have you ever moved your living place?

Needed help from friends?

Those who show up to carry boxes are those you have helped out in the past.

You give.

They give.

It is natural.

In the science of influence, it is called reciprocity.

It is why banks give out toasters – it induces the desire to return a favor, to return the balance, from the customer.

(To learn more about this, read Kevin Hogan's essential best selling book: The Science of Influence.)

3. BE BOLDLY AND UNAPOLOGETIC SEXUAL

You are a sexual being.

She is a sexual being.

It is a beautiful thing.

My questions to you is this...

Do you carry your sexuality like a mad dog’s maw – all teeth and hunger?

Do you cage it away and muffle it because you feel it as mad dog’s maw, ashamed?

Or can you carry your sexuality as a spring - something that nourishes, cleanses, something that can flow into a powerful river, so powerful that it can smash rocks and move mountains.

Something that clears paths where paths are blocks.

Something that can fill and fulfill a woman, swell her with the force of your vitality, and leave her awash with pleasure.

Something natural and something positive.

An erotic master is neither timid nor afraid nor ashamed nor aggressive nor damaging with his sexuality.

He serves.

He serves fully and authentically!

And finally…

4. BOLDLY LIVE YOUR INTEGRITY

A big word that will become the source of your fearlessness: integrity.

Know what it means?

It is from the word integer - and means “ONE.”

Oneness.

Wholeness.

You are one man - not split between businessman and erotic man.

One man - not split between being a "player" and good friend-son-brother.

One man - not split between sexual being and asexual “nice guy” social eunuch.

To live the Golden Mean of Masculinity, you need to make the decision that you are ONE WHOLE MAN!

Not a jumble of parts.

Then you need to BOLDLY take actions and change your behaviors so that you live and act in alignment with your one sexual-social-masculine self.

That means choice.

That means changing your habits.

That means clearing away FALSE selves.

That means embracing your sexual self without apology.

That means being an offering of your AUTHENTIC self rather than a clattering vacuum of others beauty.

It takes Boldness.

BOLDNESS together.

So , start thinking about how you can integrate yourself into being the ONE INTEGRATED MAN who is relaxed, comfortable, assertive without being aggressive, naturally and unapologetic sexual.

  • Get out of your head and into your body.
  • Get out of calculations and into the reality of the woman in front of you - what would make her life better with you in it?
  • Get out of the “getting" mindset and into “giving” power.
  • Get bold. 
  • Get real. 
  • Get integrated.
You will be happier and more relaxed.

Women will feel that and they will be naturally more attracted.

And I will be happy for you. 

Women want your boldness.

They crave it.

Boldness is what you require to take your already attractive qualities and make them MAGNETIC and MASCULINE to women.

Directly.

Unapologetic.

Right now, you are more than likely hiding all of you.

Ask women.

They will tell you…

  • You are hiding your male sexuality because you think it is inappropriate.
  • You are hiding your desire because you are afraid of getting shot down.
  • You are hiding your kind, open-hearted, nurturing nature because other guys told you it is “wussy.”
  • You are hiding your fearless claim of beautiful women because you think they do not want that - but they do (sometimes)!
  • You are hiding because you have still got voices in your head whispering that you are “not good enough” or that because you have “failed” in the past, you do not deserve success now.
How much better would your life be if you could rid yourself of all this hemming-and-hawing?

All this hesitancy?

All of this debilitating low-level fear?

Are going to MASTER Boldness?

Because I do not want you playing on the surface.

I want STRUCTURAL change for you.

Unbreakable CONFIDENCE in your abilities, your gifts, your masculinity – all supported by the ease, boldness to offer these things to high-esteem women.

How do you get there?

You do not focus on goals so much.

They are targets to aim for and acquire.

You focus on PROCESSES.

Mastery in life comes from knowing that everything is practice.

Everything is process.

Everything is learning.
John Wooden, a legendary UCLA Basketball Coach said…

“I was a fine game coach. I think I was a good practice coach. I could tell you right now what we did at every practice I had at UCLA – every day, every minute. It’s all on paper.”

Emphasis: Practice. Detailed. Daily. Steady.

I want to give you three "practices" right now…

These are the processes I want you to focus on.

To make you happier inside.

To make you more attractive to women the instant they meet you.

To make you more successful with women, so you can live the life you want.

1: Commit to Release Consistently

Know why zombie movies are popular?

Because most people already are zombies.

By that I mean they stumble through life pre-programmed.

Not to eat flesh, but to live out the programming they received as kids and in early relationships.

You are not your past.

Your thoughts, your habits, your tendencies are not “you.”

They are just programs from the past and they can be changed.

Remember - I was hopeless with women when I got divorced over 20 years ago.

Ashamed, un-confident, needy.

It took a lot of practice.

It took a lot of great coaching from great teachers.

It took a lot of errors, crashing and burning and course-correction, and because I learned to release all the negative ideas about myself jammed into my head, I walk free in the world today.

And women feel that .

"What I like about you is that you’re vulnerable.” is what a lot of women say to me.

I reply - “I’m open.”

Meaning - I am unguarded, I have released the past, I am genuinely here, now, present and ready for anything.

I want you to possess that ease of confident power.

When I work with both men and women we spend a good part of the first few sessions PRACTICING releasing old, unwanted, damaging ideas, beliefs and thoughts.

The truth is that you MUST clean house before you put new furniture in.

Same for your mind.

If you are carrying negative ideas about yourself that your old drunk dad, your angry ex or your lousy bully neighbor stuffed into your head - then I can talk myself blue teaching you how to approach, write to or make love to women - but it will not stick - because you will still be running your zombie-tapes.

Waking up from the bad dream of negative ideas is your inner mind-killer.

Stay close with me now and we will kill some zombies.

2. Commit to Trade in “Game” for “Play”

Throw away this damned idea of “The Game.”

Picking up women, scoring women, trying to get from women.

Yes, there are powerful and useful skills to be had from the "pick up scene".

And the whole focus on “number-closing” and “kiss-closing” and all that jazz.

KILLS THE FUN OF SOCIAL COURTING AND GENUINELY "ENJOYING" WOMEN.

And it also has caused you more misery than simply staying home and watching reruns of old TV shows.

Look, there are two approaches here, as there are in life.

One is that every moment is a game that you win or lose.

The other is that it is all PLAY.

If you head out into the night to talk to women, have fun with women, tease them, teach them, learn from them and generally leave everyone happier than when you met them – YOU CANNOT LOSE!

And without the fear of losing, you are free from that tarnish of fear that so many wear on themselves.

In Dynamic Life Development, I deal with "Gender Education." 

I deal with "Social Courting" and  you will learn more about how to boldly PLAY in the world rather than cramp yourself into the self-recriminating machinations of “gaming” women.

  • The engine of happiness. 
  • The engine of fun. 
  • The engine of lightness. 
  • The engine of depth. 
All without fear of failure.

Because when you play, there is no failure.
 
3. Commit To Consistently Reveal Your True Goals

It is good to have a family.

Friends.

A society.

Teachers.

Books.

And the danger is, you can take on other people’s goals.

I have seen, over and over, that men feel as if they have to be “like” someone else.

That you have to pick up girls anywhere anytime to feel good about yourself.

Maybe you want one girlfriend.

Maybe you want to start a family.

Maybe you only want spiritually open girls, or maybe only bisexual girls.

The point is - you have to continually strip out other people’s ideas of happiness to continue revealing to yourself what YOU really want.

As the saying goes, there is no point leaning your ladder up against the wrong roof.

Go where YOU want to go.

Stay in integrity with the life YOU want to create.

Otherwise, you will be beating yourself up about not hitting goals you do not really want to hit anyway.

What a waste!

And that means that if you get the right skills, you are going to immediately be put yourself further up the line towards living that Great Life You deserve and want.

Be one of those Men.

Authentic and Masculine!

Do YOU want to know more?

Then Contact me..

As always leave a man or woman all the better for knowing you. 

Average men and women know only the rules. 

Masculine Men and Feminine Women know and are the EXCEPTIONS!

For Love, Passion and Intimacy...

Ange Fonce

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