The Unspoken Fear Of Men!  
Are You Are Missing This VITAL Skill With Women?

I am going to start this article with a question from a male reader of "Intimate Communion"...

"Hey Ange...
I've been practicing some of your techniques you have described in your articles on women, and I've been doing fairly well with them. However, I've still got a stumbling block that I'm not sure how to get past...
I was out on Saturday at my favorite bar just hanging out. I saw a very attractive woman with her girlfriend. She had that dark-haired Italian look that I really love. I knew WHAT to do and say (thanks to your articles). I'd used your methods on lots of women before. But with this particular woman, I had no idea how the hell to do it! It was really weird - like some invisible guy was there holding my arms back. I even felt a little sick to my stomach. (You believe that???) My hands got all sweaty, too.
So I guess my question is, what the heck do I do when I know WHAT to say and I've practiced it, but my inner Loserboy voice won't let me?
What do I do when my confidence fails me?
What then?"

Chris D, CA

This is a question that hundreds... no, thousands...No, wait...MILLIONS of men want an answer for.

I am not kidding you when I tell you that this is probably THE most common problem for men of ANY age. 

(And it's not the kind that you can take a little blue pill for, either. A legal one any way!)

So what is this and how do you cure it?

It is known as "Approach Anxiety."

I do not like that name. 

That makes it seem like a disease that we as men are powerless to control.

(And remember that when you pay attention to the negative terms like "anxiety," you actually give such feelings and thoughts more power over you.)

I have another term for this sensation that you can use. 

To re-frame the whole way of thinking.


That's right. 

This feeling you have is just your mind's way of saying that this woman's attractiveness and femininity has just OVERLOADED your circuits.

She has just given you an incredible gift of letting you feel the full force and magnitude of your own masculinity, and you are EXCITED on a whole new level.

This is the force that keeps our human race alive, my friend.

And this excitement is healthy and GOOD - no matter what your friends and family may have told you in the past about all those nasty desires your private parts have.

I can hear guys out there now as they read that.

"Yeah, great, Ange. You can 're-frame' this situation for me any way you like and I will still think... So what?  I "still"can't go over and talk to her...' I need something I can DO."

Well, I have got that for you in this article. 

Just hang on...

The truth is, there's a lot of mental anguish for men who feel this "approach excitement."

If you don't take care of your confidence and self-esteem - you can have all the great lines and techniques and you STILL will not be able to approach women you see every day.

Yo will know what to say - (there are a TON of openers and "routines" out there), but you will not know HOW to do it. 

You might be one of the men that figured this out for himself already. 

Maybe you learned a few good "openers" but you still are not walking up and approaching women.

You've got what you need, but you still cannot find the courage to do it.

In fact, you will probably feel even WORSE about yourself because now you have the tools, and you will realize that you do not posses the inner foundation and confidence to PUT THEM TO WORK.

(And this even happens to men who are in a relationship with their girlfriends and wives.This lack of "confidence" and low self esteem!)

A lot of guys simply go looking for another cool opener or line in the hope that the one that sounds "cool enough" will somehow give them the courage to approach women.

We both know that does not work, does it?

You can even approach women occasionally, and get a few dates, and you will STILL sink your own ship if you do not have your "confidence" taken care of.

So what can you do when you feel that paralysing fear of going up and approaching a woman?

Or that fear of leaning in and going for the kiss?

Or ANY kind of escalation with a woman?

NOTE: Developing your confidence is not the "mystery" that most "gurus" or self-development expects will admit to.

Look, I'll be the first person to admit that I had a HUGE problem approaching women in my past. 

And it was only within the last ten years that I was able to clear it completely up. 

That's right. I went over 30 years of my life with this "Approach Excitement" kicking me in the ass.

I would see an attractive woman (and I have a certain type that I'm very interested in) and...I would stop DEAD in my tracks when I wanted to approach her.

It felt like some invisible force was holding my arms and legs and keeping me from moving. 

It was like that sensation of waking up from sleep and being paralysed. 

I had developed lead boots for feet.

It was definitely NOT fun and very frustrating. 

And I would end up so pissed off with myself.

I was fortunate when I was younger - when women were much more open to talking with me because I was so aloof and distant (go figure!), but later on my fear of approaching became a HUGE and CRIPPLING block to my success with women.

Especially when I got tired of going to bars and clubs to meet women. 

I was only meeting them at work or online - and not very often. 

And I experienced a relationship that ended real bad.

I knew that if I did not fix this problem, 

I would end up one of those guys who got stuck with the first woman that was as desperate as I was. 

And we all know that's the WORST way to pick a girlfriend.

Trust me on this one - I KNOW from past personal experience!

Hence a relationship that ended real bad!

You see, if you were to ask 100 guys about whether they have any problems meeting and attracting women, over 90% of them would laugh and say something like - "I've got no problem approaching and meeting women."

But they are lying.

And this is the secret and UNSPOKEN fear of most men.

A lot of guys assume that ALL the other guys out there have this thing of "confidence" taken care of - but they DON'T.

They are "Bullshitting!" 

I have observed men in just about EVERY situation you can imagine, in about 10 different countries, and it amazes me every time I see it.

And I also found out as I learned how to develop my own Masculine self-confidence is that most men (including me, for a while) think that fixing our self-confidence is a really difficult thing to do.

That is why so many guys want a pickup line or some fancy theory instead of a method to get more confident, trusting and solid in yourself!

Hey, all you have to do is memorize some other guy's words and you're all set, right?

Until you memorize those lines and realize that you STILL cannot work up the nerve to go over and talk to that hot looking woman.

What's wrong? Why is this happening?

I am about to part the curtains and reveal the secret of approaching to you in just a second...

So back to what I was saying, most guys really think that getting confidence is a long, painful process that is not worth it. 

Especially when there is all this pickup stuff out there.

In fact, the OPPOSITE is true.

The process is actually straight forward, and it can be done - if you know "how" to do it and are prepared to do the serious work that is needed and invest in yourself!

It is like having a car that breaks down on you. 

If you are the average guy out there, you might have a real tough time understanding how to fix it. 

But if you take it in to a mechanic who has fixed your type of car for a while, you will find that they can show you how to fix it.

It's all about finding the specialized knowledge to fit YOUR problem.

And the truth about pickup techniques is that if you use them hoping to get quick results, you will actually HURT your confidence and self-esteem even more.

It is like going out and taking a one-day self-defence class where they teach you only a few simple moves.

Sure, you could throw a knee or an elbow into an attacker, but unless you understand and know how to control your own FEAR and PANIC, you will forget that clever wrist lock in one stressful moment of panic. 

And they have beaten the crap out of you.

Most men feel this kind of panic around women ALL THE TIME.

And the fact is that this unspoken fear men have is about ONE word.

That one word is...


Read it again...SHAME!

That's right. 

The toxic confidence-killer for 90% of men out there.

Shame is the "thinking" and "feeling" that you are not worthy of a woman or that you do not have a right to approach her.

It is the "thinking" that you do not have any VALUE to this woman.

And the reality is that a woman SENSES your value in the way you act. 

It's not something you have in your wallet, or a price tag on your arm. 

It is something she "FEELS" and senses in YOU!


Here's a VITAL secret of attracting women:


And attitude is based in your CONFIDENCE!

But I will come back to that.

Let's talk about how you conquer this fear and shame for yourself.

By creating solid natural "confidence."

Now, confidence is not something I can teach you in a single article. 

But I can get you started with a little exercise that will help you, put some of your negative thinking behind you.

I call this the "She's Not Better" exercise.

This is EXACTLY what I used to do when I was working on my confidence. 

And then I refined  this process for Gender Education Coaching For Human Relationships. 

The next time you find yourself bringing your confidence down in your head, you are going to change what you are thinking.

In technical language, this is called "neuro-associative conditioning," and it's something that Tony Robbins pioneered (A world class personal development coach.) 

Don't worry - I am going to make it very simple for you to use.

I have taken this technique a step further by adapting this method for men (Yes, women too) who struggle with their confidence and self-esteem, and I go into much more detail when you work with me in person.

Here is the "basics" of how the exercise works. 

Let's say you are at a bar....

You see a woman you find attractive and want to approach. 

She is a beautiful Italian Woman, and you feel that shaky, nervous feeling just vibrating in your guts when you see her.

The next thing that usually happens in your head is that you try to find some way to validate (not destroy) that nervous feeling. 

You start telling yourself things like:

"Wow, she's INCREDIBLE... But I feel weird. I feel like she wouldn't have any reason to want to talk to me..."

Right then, you interrupt this thought with,

"HEY, she's not better than me!"

You can even YELL this out - inside your head. 

That's right - yell it in your thoughts.

Make it loud and booming, like the way God's voice was in all those 1950s epic movies like "The Ten Commandments," and stuff like that.


And then you need to really get behind those words and push yourself into trusting them.

Say it over and over again. 

Out loud if you have to.

"She's not better than me... She's not better than me... She's not better than me..."

And each time you say it, MEAN IT!

The first couple times you do this, you will probably feel a little weird. 

This is okay, it's the power of your confidence bitch-slapping your negative "loser boy" thinking around.

But when you get the hand of this particular technique, and it really starts to take hold, it feels VERY cool. 

It's like you have just awoken a sleeping "giant" in you.

Remember, this woman that you are in love at first sight with does all the nastiest and disgusting things you can imagine.

  • She poops.
  • She farts.
  • She picks her nose and rolls her boogies.
  • She wakes up in the morning with "thunder flash hair" and her makeup smudged all over her face.
  • She may throw her dirty panties under the bed.
  • She may "snort" when she laughs.

Yeah. But it can also be very TRUE.

You are just seeing her at her best right now.

And you are also falling into the trap of putting her up on a pedestal - making her much more important and pure than she actually IS.

You are imagining her like she's a pure white angel that flew down from heaven just to flash you her incredible smile.

By the way, this kind of idealizing of women is very common in many societies, because women know that the one thing they can use to their advantage is their sexual desirability and that her value goes DOWN when men think she is not "pure."

(Which is harsh on women. As I know  many woman as they mature and grow. Their "value" and "desirability" goes up.)

If you really take the time to think it through when you see one of these women that really excite you, you will start to make a deep and  powerful change in your thinking, and then your actions will start to change, too. 

This was the first big step I took when I was trying to get this area of my life handled. 

I would see these guys who were not all that attractive, and they had some really stunning girlfriends.

I knew that there was something wrong with the way that I was THINKING about women, because I also knew deep down inside that I had everything that these other guys had.

Because for them to act the way they did (which had to be what was getting them these women) they had to THINK a certain way.

Thoughts come before actions.  

After watching these "natural" Masculine Men for a while, I developed a MODEL of behaviour that I used to sculpt and refine my own way of acting around women.

And you know what?

It worked!

Women were acting with me the way I had only seen them do to other guys that I thought were the "naturals" with this stuff...

Women would do things like:

Touching me affectionately when I was out in a bar or even just meeting them for the first time from an online matching profile.

Sometimes within MINUTES of meeting me.

Dropping hints and being flirty with me.

Finding reasons to get closer to me, or to press their bodies closer to me.

Making dirty jokes at me, when I was not even talking about anything sexual.

It was really great, and through time, taking apart and understanding what was going on and with practice and experience I refined what I was learning and developing.

Remember that your level of confidence is not something "hard coded" or given to you by genetics. 

You do not "inherit" your level of self-esteem. 

You BUILD it all by yourself. 

It is in your head, and it's something that you can COMPLETELY control by taking control of your thoughts.

Which in turn is felt in your body.

And that is what women "feel."

 The energy of your Masculinity. PERIOD.

Most guys spend almost NO time working on their masculine confidence and self esteem... instead, they spend time learning pick up lines and routines and other USELESS quick fix fluff.

If you do not have your masculine confidence and self esteem together, none of the techniques and tricks will work for you. 

Women see right through them. 

If you were like I was, and you have had a lot of negative programming about being a "Man" and "Masculinity", then you MUST get that stuff taken care of. 

It will not fix itself. 

YOU have to do it.

Once you get the right mind-set - the "Attitude" I mentioned earlier - the world suddenly seems like a different place to you.

The concepts that I have briefly discussed in this article are part of what I consider to be a big part of "Natural Confidence" which affects your dating, relationships, sexuality and LIFE success.

When you work with me.

I will coach you how to overcome your self-limiting thinking, improve your self-confidence and self-esteem, grow your "Masculine Energy" and get past the fears that are holding you back from even TRYING to go out and meet women. 

Trying to do the things you want to do in life. 

But just cant.

Now, if you want to LEARN these INCREDIBLY EFFECTIVE and powerful methods and strategies that I myself have learned, developed, refined over the last 10 years practising and teaching this stuff. 

Plus what I have learned from other great teachers.

Oh... and I will also teach you TONS of great "field" methods for approaching women, talking to women - keeping the conversation going - getting dates, meeting women online, and taking things as far as you want to go - smoothly and easily...without rejection.

Plus a whole lot more.

About Sex, Relationships, Career.

The GOALS you want to ACQUIRE as a MAN!

The Masculine Man knows that personal-development is the path to a better life. 

It all starts with getting educated. 

Education leads to understanding. 

Understanding leads to better choices. 

Better choices lead to better results. 

And results are ALL that matters when it comes to the game of Life, Career, Women, Relationships and Sex!
There's one thing I discovered a long time ago, and it was that the most important trait a man has is his level of confidence in his own "Masculinity!" 

This ONE area of your life will determine EVERYTHING about you...

  • Your financial success.
  • Your happiness.
  • Your friendships.
  • The quality of woman you attract.
  • Your relationships.
So it only makes sense that if you CAN improve your self-confidence, you absolutely MUST improve it. 

Your life "SUCCESS" literally DEPENDS on it.

You owe it to yourself to get the success you deserve in life - with women and with EVERYTHING you desire.

For many years as a child had it drummed into me.

That I was "thick, stupid and useless" those "thoughts" crippled me for years and kept me from the "Success" I was more than capable of.

Once I eradicated those crippling thoughts.

My Life changed dramatically.


To know more about Gender Education For Human Relationships...CLICK HERE.

And as ever...Always leave a man or a woman all the better for knowing you. Average men and women know only the rules. Masculine Men and Feminine Women know and are the EXCEPTIONS!

For Love and Intimacy...

Ange Fonce


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