The Spice of Sexual Variety to build a deeper "Loving Intimacy" with Your Lover.

 Hi All,

Today I want to talk about variety in sex. I am going to share some things that I have done with  lovers to add some extra spice.

Now most people immediately think of having lots of different sex positions to spice up the sex act. 

However, although changing sex positions is important, I feel this  is just a small part of good sex. Generally, the man leads in sex and will have to act first to add more variety in sex. 

Woman do love a sexually confident man that leads them to different sexual experiences

One easy way to add variety in sex with your lover is to communicate  more about sex . You can ask your partner some questions about what she (or he) really likes in sex and what you could do to increase their pleasure. 

I feel this is best done out of the bedroom when you are both in a good mood. Also, discuss what you would like to do more of too. Sometimes your partner will be unwilling to explore things like anal sex and you must respect their boundaries. 

I had this discussion with a past lover a few years ago. Now I was  fortunate that she loved oral sex on my penis. She really did love my penis and she did adore giving oral sex. When we had a discussion on what I like in sex, I asked her why, in  oral sex, she has tended to avoid touching my balls . 

She stated that she did not want to hurt me. I then talked about how I would love my balls sucked as long as she did not use too much pressure. Now, oral sex became even more pleasurable. And this resulted from just a little communication. 

Are you missing out on increased pleasure because you have not communicated what you like to your lover?

I would like to talk about some simple dynamics in sex that can really add some spice. Generally, most women want to increase the intimacy and connection in sex. Intimacy is in a greater way for YOU and YOUR lover to connect on a very deep level.  

Now, having more eye contact in foreplay and sex is one simple way to really connect with your lover. Try this simple exercise to get some idea of the power of eyes open sex. 

Stand across from your lover with each partner making eye contact with the left eye. This means you are both looking across at the same eye. Now the exercise is to make the following statements every 10 seconds depending on your inner experience. "Bingo" or "I feel unconnected." 

So if you really feel connected with your partner, say "bingo".  If you do not feel connected say "I feel unconnected". Check in each 10 seconds and just say what is the correct statement. 

Continue this exercise for 5 minutes. 

When I did this exercise, many times we said bingo at exactly the same moment. Now the next time you make love, I suggest to try some time with eyes open sex. Really look into the eyes of your lover and allow them to look into you. I personally like both eyes open sex as well as eyes closed sex.  If the thought of eyes open sex is really uncomfortable, I suggest  each week to repeat the above exercise. 

Another way to add a lot of energy in sex is by role playing.  One thing I did in the past is to ask my lover to be a female wild tiger. Now I acted out being a male tiger on heat by growling and being dominate.

Need I say that we had a lot of fun! 

The following list is things I have personally added to my sex life. Some of these ideas below are pretty advanced, so I suggest you start  with the ones that are a bit challenging but not overtly so. Then  build up to the more challenging suggestions in time. Many years ago I would have been too scared to try some of these ideas. However, the more I explored my own sexuality the easier it became.

IMPORTANT! It is great to be light hearted and playful about trying anything new. Sometimes things just do not work out as expected. Just laugh and move on. Here are some suggestions I personally have tried. 

If you do one a week you will be busy for 40 weeks or so.  

If you always shut your eyes in sex, open them.

If you like a dark room, learn to love seeing your lover. 

If foreplay is only 10 minutes, try at least 30 to 60 minutes. 

If you have never given an erotic massage to your lover, just try it. 

If you never used a lot of oil and rubbed your body across your lover on a plastic sheet, just try it.

If you never communicate to your partner about sex, just do it. 

If you never do vulva and g spot massage with your fingers, learn how. 

If you come too soon, learn how to relax in sex and come when you want too. 

If you never make love out of the bedroom, try the kitchen...... 

If you never make love in nature, try it.

If you have never eaten food off your lovers body, just try it.

If you have little desire, just start foreplay and see if it is pleasurable. 

If you never use sex toys, give one a try. If you always orgasm and ejaculate, try not ejaculating for a change.

If you never have explored light bondage, give it a try. 

If you never have acted out fantasies by role playing, try it.

If you always use one sex position, try others. 

If you always are silent in sex, make sounds!

If you always focus on your partners pleasure, try more body awareness.

If you always restrict your energy or your breathing, try the opposite. 

If you have never done a sexuality workshop, just book one. 

If you never have read a book on sexuality or tantra, just try it. 

If you never have kept a sexual journal, just try it. 

If you make love with no love connection, try masturbating with your attention on your heart.  

If you have never masturbated in front of your lover, try it.

If you have never asked your woman how she likes her clitoris touched, just ask her to show you how.

If you have never asked your man how he likes his penis touched, just ask him to show you. 

If you always masturbate in 5 minutes, try a 30 minute session. Try masturbating in front of a mirror with eye contact! (challenging) Try masturbating dancing. 

If you have never done a strip tease in front of your lover, try it. 

If you have never sucked your lovers big toes, try it. 

If you avoid oral sex, learn to love it. 

If you have never tried soft penis penetration into a vulva, try it. 

If you are always soft and gentle, try a more masculine approach.

If you are always make love like a porn movie, try a soft, gentle  and connected approach. I you have never acted out fantasies in sex, try a mild one. 

If you never use dirty talking, try it.

If you never have explored anal stimulation or anal sex, just try it.

If you have never done or received a prostate massage, try it. 

Now, add to this list some things you might like to try and discuss with your lover things she would like to explore.  One thing I personally use to explore sex is to do some structured sexuality exercises.  

I have made a commitment with lovers to explore a whole series of tantra exercises. This enables me to try new things in a more safe controlled way and  can push through some of my own personal restrictions too. 

For more great tips in sex keep reading the articles or if you want Help and to know more in depth knowledge to great deeper Intimacy with Your Lover then drop me a line at the contact links shown below.

I would really appreciate if you could forward this message to any of your friends. Many couples get into a bit of a rut with sex and I feel this article could really help.

One final tip........

Here's How to Give Sex Every Time So You Share those Wild Moments With Your Woman...

Think about your girl for a second....Is she excited about being with you this weekend?

Are you going to be making love all night and wake up and do it a few more times?

If not use this very quick tip:

Don't ask for sex. Next time you want it start massaging your woman gently. Kiss her and massage her EVERYWHERE.

Keep going for AS LONG as she can bear it! This drives woman crazy and she is going to be full of desire for you.

Then....keep teasing...finally, when she can take it no longer give it to her hard and fast as soon as you enter her!

This combination of teasing and then SATISFACTION with hard movement will drive her WILD!

If You ever find yourself having difficulties with being "Intimate" with Your Lover. 

Then please feel you can Contact Me for "help and advice."

For Passion

Ange Fonce

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