10 Relationship Tips For Men And Women That Your Partner Wants You To Understand About Them More 

By Ange Fonce

I have recently been away attending a workshop in Winterthur, Switzerland. Conflict - the key to deeper and more fulfilling relationships. Run by The Relationship School Europe.

And this is my take away which I will share with you from the weekend.

Feel like you want to know and understand your woman more?

Like maybe what she wants and desires, and how she thinks and feels?

You as a woman want your man to "tune" into you?

You want him to understand you and appreciate you?

If there are things I have not covered in this article, if you are a woman I invite you to write your own note to the man you love, and tell him about your top ten desires, dreams, wants, needs, or fantasies. It may become the beginning of an amazing, deepening, or even super-hot conversation.

However, if this list rings true for you, please share it with your man. I would like to think it brings you both to a place of pleasure, and deeper understanding. And it is not like I can clear all that up in a few simple words. I mean I have been working on this one since the last 25 plus years of studying and being part of "human" relationships.

And I am also pretty sure that through Science we are starting to get somewhere with all this. Men and women have never before had quite the opportunity we have right now to build a whole new way of relating. A new way, based on some pretty old truths, mixed with some brand new ideas.

This is what I am TOTALLY about, helping both Men and Women BUILD GREAT RELATIONSHIPS and I will say there is a REAL opportunity that we can get past the wounding that you and I have both endured, and grow into shared desire, honesty, truth, trust, integrity and intimacy in our relationships.

Here are a few steps to start you on your journey down that sometimes challenging, yet always rewarding, path.

And for the men reading this article. Pretend I am your lady, and I am talking to you.

Yes you heard right!

Get your head around it, that it is a MAN writing this article. And I have sat down and have written this article as being in the shoes of a WOMAN as I have a lot of experience working with women in my profession and personal relationships. I have been helping both Men and Women in the "Relationship" Game for a long time now. So this is not a problem for me!

And just a final NOTE here, although I have written this article in the context of man - woman. These same tips can be applied in "Same Sex Relationships."


Here are Ten Relationship Tips for Men and Women that will HELP YOU understand YOUR PARTNER more and that may change your life forever.

Relationship Tip 1: Focus, or Being Present With Me In The Moment...

Get totally present with me. Allow this moment, right here, right now, to be the only thing happening in the whole of time and space. Let the world fall away around us, and let me be your whole world.

This state of grace will usually only last a moment, yet that moment goes a long way towards filling my well that often gets low; the one you want to drink from! Take the time, and let us rise the levels together.

This focus is a great way to greet me when we have not seen each other all day. Or, before we part ways in the morning. 
Or, first thing upon waking. Or last thing before we fall asleep. Or, all of the above.

Relationships Tip 2: Noticing, or Paying Attention...

When you notice what I like, it makes me feel seen, and cared for. In or out of bed. When you notice that I have changed my hair, or that the pants I am wearing look hot, or that I look like I could use a hug, it makes me feel proud, relieved, happy, grateful that I chose YOU.

When you notice how I like my coffee, and prepare it for me without even thinking twice, I feel appreciated.

When you figure out that I do not like soft, repetitive strokes on the hand, yet I love strong hugs from behind, it makes me feel understood. Big bonus points to you if I never have to whisper a word to you about it, and you figure it all out on your own; after all, that is what noticing is about.

Take the time and attention to notice me. I will do the same for you, and let us see what happens!

Relationship Tip 3: Showing Your Gratitude...

When you show me that you are thankful that I chose you, it makes my heart soar. When you tell me you are grateful that you get to go to bed with me, and wake up next to me, I feel nourished.

When you tell me you’re proud to be seen with me, I feel claimed. I love it when you claim me. When you tell me you are grateful that I am such a good mum to our kids, I feel touched, and relieved. When you show your gratitude by fully parenting them with me, I feel like I won the lover lottery!

Remember to say thank you for the small things; those everyday, tiny, repetitive things we do a million times without thinking about it. If I do the laundry, a thanks makes it less of a chore. And if you do the laundry, you know I will be thanking you.

Relationship Tip 4: Being Confident as a Man...

Do not second guess yourself. When I say I want you to take control, that is what I mean. And, do not second guess me!

When I tell you that I want you to make the choice, that is really what I want. When you do not trust me, I am likely to get annoyed, especially on this touchy topic.

I know it is a wound we are working our way through as a culture. Ten years ago, women were not supposed to ask for help, and men were not supposed to offer it.

Well, the time they are a changing – again!

Even as a woman who can still handle it all – if I have to! – I want to be taken care of sometimes. Sometimes I want you to drive. And sometimes, I do not want to have to say it at all. I just want you to step up, and take the wheel and lead me.

Relationship Tip 5: Vulnerability, Show You Have "Feelings"...

(This is not the opposite of confidence, as some men assume. "Emotional Maturity" shows a high level of "Awareness" and "Confidence" that a man has in being "Masculine!")

I see your willingness to be vulnerable with me as a huge statement of confidence. And, it makes me want to support you, take care of you. Not in some mummy/boy way, and in this, “oh, wow, he trusts me!” way.

Not only that, it makes me trust you. If you are willing to get vulnerable with me, I am going to be less guarded with you. 

And you never know to what fantastic places that could lead for both of us.

Trust that I can support you in those moments when you need to be held, listened to, or even just vent. Trust that I will still be here when you are through it. And as you trust more, so will I.

Relationship Tip 6: Being Honesty and Transparent...

Scarier words are rarely spoken, right?

Yet how are you going to get what you want, if you cannot, do not, or will not ask for it?

Speaking our desires is the first step to getting them fulfilled.

And, when you speak your truth, you allow me to do the same. You never know... that fantasy you have been holding back on sharing might be just the one I am dying to explore.

Let me tell you a secret; I like it dirty, and I like it rough. I also like it gentle, and loving, and sweet. If I trust you enough, there is no edge that is point-blank off-limits. Make it possible for me to trust you, and you will gain the golden key.

Your honesty is what cements my trust. Let us build that foundation together.

And, it would be less than honest of me to leave this part out; there is another part of transparency that is really important to me.

If I ask what you are thinking, or feeling, or what is wrong, please do not say nothing, when it is really something. I will be the first to admit that this kind of thing makes me, quite literally, crazy. If you do not give me the low-down when something’s up, as you probably already know, I am going to make up some kind of crazy story about what is behind your silence.

Any story I make up is very likely to be much worse than whatever it is you are not sharing with me.

Whatever the truth is, it is better than confusion or paranoia. So spit it out! This courageous act will save both of us a lot of misunderstanding and frustration. And it will save me a lot of hurt, wondering, and heart-ache.

And you know what is awesome about this more challenging part of honesty?

Once the air is cleared, we can get back to the loving stuff, which is where both of us really want to be anyway.


Relationship Tip 7: Face Fear Head-On I want to Hear Your Truth not Your Lie's...

Always be willing to face any fears that come up, whether they are mine, or yours. And always be willing to go deeper with me, and work through that fear. Maybe not all at once, yet over time.

In bed or out, we all have fears that arise around letting each other in, trusting, independence versus intimacy, personal power versus shared experience. When you get scared, remember; I get scared, too. One thing you can be sure about is that getting scared is common ground – we have all been there!

Bring it to me, and I will do my best not to hurt you, make you wrong, or close you down in your fear. Open to me, and I will open to you.

Relationship Tip 8: Respond To Me As A Man, Do Not Ignore Me As A Woman...

In bed or out, paying attention becomes a worthwhile practice when you learn to respond appropriately to the information you gather.

That does not mean doing what you think is supposed to come next. It means actually paying attention AS you respond, and honing your response to meet my desire. Sounds complicated, yet it gets easier when you get present in the moment!

There’s no play book for life, or for our interactions. No step 1, step 2, step 3 mentality is going to work in every situation. Instead, learn to read me. And then do whatever comes naturally.

Look, listen, then walk, as we learn in crossing the street. Give our interactions as much thought, and we will find our way.

Relationship Tip 9: Sharing Responsibilities: Help Me As I Want To Help You!...

In sexing, that means doing your part regarding safety, birth control, and shared pleasure.

In life it means parenting with me, house keeping with me, making decisions with me; not around, or to, me. It means making goals and building dreams with me.

Sharing responsibility sometimes means taking control of the situation. Sometimes it means allowing me to. And often, it means coming together and working it out, in a way that makes sense to both of us.

And, The Big Relationship Tip 10! Be Willing to Cultivate and Invest in Love Through It All...

Accept that when I am Loved and supported. I know I can love through anything.

Even when I am angry at you, I can find the love I have for you within and around the anger. Even when I am hurt, scared, and tired of the bull shit., I can still find, connect with, and foster that love.

And if I cannot, something might really be wrong!

Practice may not make this one perfect, yet it gets you there. Loving through the annoyance, anger, frustration, and pain is something that can become a natural response.

Remember; I am loving you. Love me, too. If we can pull that off, I am pretty sure we will be able to make this thing work!

And so there we have it, I am sure you can add many more. And if so, do please feel free to comment.

And if you are thinking this is a strange that a "Man" wrote this article.


Because if you "think" about it. It does not take much to change some words and re-phrase a few paragraphs and you have what men would like from women!

Yes we are different... Men and Women and yes we go about things in a different way... Yet when you strip away those differences both Men and Women have LOTS in common.

You have just got to invest time not only to understand those "differences" and also to "celebrate" what we share as men and women. It is not a case of "Men are from Mars" or "Women are from Venus."

It is a case we are Human Beings as men and women and that we SHARE relationships with each other!

So to complete this article I would like to say this about Intimacy...

Can we talk about INTIMACY  for a moment?

I have always been a lover. Not just in the sexual sense, I have been that too... what I mean that I have always been a big hearted and generious person who just loves.

Somewhere in all the trauma and in all the hurts I lost my way in the past few years. I closed my heart and while I LOVED... I did not really LOVE. Not unconditionally, not with my whole heart open wide and vulnerable.

Nor did I understand that I could love unconditionally and big and full and still have boundaries and still hold others accountable and not loose myself and my needs in the process.

It feels like the whole world is reflecting my biggest lesson right now.

Can I love and still be fierce?

Can I love you and still feel anger and hurt?

Can I say "no that is not okay!" and still hold my heart open wide to see another person with my whole heart and still love them and understand to they feel seen?

Can I love and still create a boundary?

Can I say "I love you yet I feel unsafe in your presence."

Can I love and I still get to hold you to account to your words and actions?

This feels like a life long practice to keep my heart open and love and still have boundaries around what is okay and what is not okay to me.

It is much easier to close down, to hate, to push others away, to make walls, to have black and white thinking and to judge, blame and create separation and detachment...

Much easier to do all of these things than to feel pain, hurt and vulnerability and to love wide open and have my boundaries and hold you to account and ask for what I need and be understood and seen.

I might get stabbed and betrayed again... yet honestly it is more painful to armor up, create walls, go into black and white thinking and feel separate from you, than it is to get stabbed. It is has been my illusion that the walls are less painful than the wound. In truth they make the pain so much worse.

The walls may keep you safe, they are also the prison. 

Can you touch through a wall?

Can you feel through a wall?

Can you connect through a wall?

Can you LOVE through a wall?

Can you be LOVED through a wall?

I want to see you for who you really are on the inside, the true you.

And yes the pain forges who you are too, and you are not only the pain or the traumatized or the hero or the villain in this story - and maybe I am pollyanna, maybe I am spiritually bypassing, maybe there are some people who are just dark, sinister people... and I want to love even the darkness, the shadow, because even in the darkness there is still the beauty of a inner light.

By loving our shadow we transform it by acceptance, instead of pushing it away.

"Whenever you are confronted with an opponent. Conquer him with love." - Mahatma Gandhi

I think and feel that everyone deserves love and to be understood and seen even when we think we cannot understand them. And from a place of love we can choose to be warriors of the heart.

From an I love you I create my world. 

From an I love you I hold you to account. 

From an I love you I create my boundaries. 

From an I love you I let you go so that we can be free.

For love can never grow when it is wrapped in chains of control and resentment, it dies. Love grows when it is nourished with Trust, Respect and Freedom and you being FULLY PRESENT with COURAGE to step fully into the heart of INTIMACY!



And practically speaking, that completes this conversation.

Have you any thoughts or comments you would like to share with me on what I have written?

I would love to hear from you.

Thank you and may you enjoy a Loving... Prosperous and Dynamic day!

Yours Sincerely

Ange Fonce

Ange is an Dynamic Personal Development Coach who works with those men and women who want to personally develop their confidence, relationships, sexing, health and wealth!

To Speak to Ange and arrange a free consultation CLICK HERE

"Transformation happens when people fall in LOVE with a different version of themselves and their future!"

Join us today and become one of The Tribe and if you want to share with a friend a writing please go ahead and let them know they can receive their own writings via e mail by directly joining The Tribe. I am sure they will appreciate your consideration of them. As ever always leave a man or a woman all the better for knowing you.