Self Pleasuring Orgasms And Masculine Intimacy From The Heart

By Ange Fonce

I have been doing a daily practice of conscious self pleasuring and I though you might be interested in some techniques I am practicing.

First of all I am not using this masturbation practice for relief as most men usually do... in fact I usually do not cum in this practice.

If I cum everyday I would feel drained and lack energy to be able to do much at all.

I have noticed that I have been a lot more in my heart for making love and more sexing energy from this daily practice... another benefit is that I get turned on much easier and my cock is much harder and the aim of of this practice is to be in my body sensations and my feelings and out of my head and totally present with my body.

I also like to set an intention for the practice and have at least 30 minutes to really get into my energy and to be focused in my heart while I touched my cock.

Any Tantric Teacher advocates educating lovers in the practice of generating intense sexing energy in their genitals and then raising that energy up through their body to their hearts and this Tantric tradition teaches lovers that masturbating results in having orgasms in your heart as this Heart Pleasuring is quite different from jerking off.

It takes practice to unlearn the blocks from ones sexing energy from connecting with ones heart energy... because when boys and girls are taught to fear sexing feelings they learn to constrict muscles and learn to release their sexing excitement as quickly as possible.

By making masturbation a sin religions gain control over individuals from an early age... when you control peoples sexuality you can control their whole life and this learned separation of the heart from the genitals is the central tragedy of Western Sex Education.

Tantric teaching offers some very specific instructions for...

Heart Pleasuring

The masturbator should clench the pelvic floor muscles with each breath and visualizing the heart pulling erotic energy up from the genitals and by pleasuring our hearts we become aware of our relationship to everything... our relationship to other humans to other animals to the plant world... the mineral world... the energy world.
In this approach to masturbating we are making love to the whole world and I suggest to finish this meditation lying on the floor with five minutes of stillness.

I set an intention to use the above advice in my daily sessions and also used a lot of different strokes in self pleasuring and avoid the usual hard and fast pumping strokes for these sessions... I also have found that moving my body with hands more really starts to move the energy around my body... so the self pleasuring is more like a dance and make sounds and I do breath deeper from my belly as this moves the energy out of my pelvis for a more full body experience and also use my pc muscle contractions to move the energy up to my heart and start to feel love for myself while my erection got larger and really got into feeling pleasure in my cock while having loving thoughts about myself and loving thoughts to my beautiful erect hard cock.

This was much more pleasurable than the usual short jerk off.

In a way making love to myself... I felt I was strengthening the connection between my cock and my heart.

I talk to a lot of women and many tell me that their man they are with that when it comes to sex making they are just in their sexing without a open heart or actually with much emotion at all... one woman shared with me that she was making sexing and her man turned on his computer so he could watch porn while he was in her and she was not impressed and felt really used.

If you are a man reading this and would like to be more in your heart when you make sexing and connect with your partner with a deeper heart intimacy I recommend you do the above practice a few times a week or every day for a month if you are really keen!

Soon you will find when you make sexing with your lover you will have a stronger connection with your heart and your cock and in my experience sexing is so much better with a flowing heart.

Your lover will feel your love and open more and more... they will feel safe to let go in their sexing and totally surrender to their orgasmic energy and you might be surprised that they will want to make sexing a lot more too maybe even more than you can handle! 

And ladies you can do the same practice by touching your heart... breasts as well as your vulva and having your attention on your heart and having loving thoughts to yourself in self pleasuring really builds up self acceptance.

Now when you start to master your own bodies sexing energy as a man you can move on to experience multiple orgasms just like many women do 

Yes this is indeed possible with some practice and men can even learn to have full body multiple orgasms without ejaculation again and again.

Here are some easy tips so any man can start to explore multiple orgasms without ejaculation and the following also is great for women to have deeper orgasms too.

You might be wondering why bother to learn this as ejaculation is so nice!

Yes I agree that ejaculation is great yet there are some disadvantages of always squirting when you orgasm.

Advantages of Multiples Orgasms

Based on my personal experience the biggest advantage of dry orgasms is that you do not lose energy after a dry orgasm so there is no more going to sleep after an orgasm and you can gain energy instead of feeling tired.

What this allows you to do is have many orgasms in one sexing session... sometimes I have 10 or more orgasms and I can always decide to ejaculate after a long sexing session.

The other disadvantage of always squirting as a man is that you lose the connection with your lover as your desire is not so intense if you rest and then make sexing again and most men are happy not to strive for more than one ejaculation orgasm per session.

Another reason for becoming multi orgasmic is that a full body orgasm can be even more powerful than a normal orgasm also you can experience more subtle orgasmic experiences running through your body and it also opens you up to feeling heart orgasms.
Another benefit of learning this skill is that you can match the energy of a very orgasmic woman that has the ability to have orgasm after orgasm.

I would suggest you to follow the steps below so in time you will get this feedback too.

The problem is that most men are too challenged to take this journey of personal exploration and development as it takes courage to admit that there is more to sexing than what you know or experience and it takes even more courage to do some home practice.

I have found that developing this skill opened up my sensitivity to feel a womans energy in my body and I find that many times when my lover orgasms I feel this in my body and when sexing we both orgasm together in total sync not knowing who started the experience or who actually ends the experience.

Why Do Most Men Struggle To Separate Orgasm From Ejaculation?

I feel that the reason is due to our early masturbation habits as teenagers as this trains our body to only orgasm with ejaculation.

When we have sexing we can see two dynamics at play.

The first is based on going to arousal... just watch any sexing scene or any porn movie and you will see this dynamic at play and just about any sexing book talks about new ways to increase arousal. 

Men get very good at going to arousal when self pleasuring... just a fantasy or two and some strong friction and most men can come in a few minutes yet there is another dynamic in sexing which I will call the relaxation response in other words to describe this is letting go... falling into surrendering and opening.

Most women that are multi orgasmic are good at this energy of sexing as they use arousal to build up the energy and then relax into the energy... fall into the energy and surrender... they then can feel deeper orgasms like g spot orgasms or cervical orgasms that are more fulfilling than the normal clitoral orgasm and these types of orgasms can go on and on for hours.

So most men need to learn the relaxation mode in sexing to become multi orgasmic... of course you can alternate the arousal response and this the relaxation response many times when making sexing as the nervous system plays a part in this. 

The sympathetic nervous system which is responsible for stimulating activities associated with the fight or flight response when arousal takes place activates and regulates this nervous system... the parasympathetic system specifically is responsible for stimulation of activities that occur when the body is at rest so letting go and relaxing in sexing activates regulates down the parasympathetic nervous system.

Keys To Learn The Relaxation Response.

The first key is to be focused in your body and out of any fantasy in your head and instead of focusing on your lover and being goal orientated take your attention to your body and let it totally relax... find any areas that are tight like the buttocks and relax them... relax the anus and legs.

You will find that the above advice will also allow you a lot of control in not cuming too.

The second key is to allow the energy to move in your body by making sounds from deep inside... this allows the energy to move up from the genitals to the heart and out.

Due to sexual shame and early masturbation habits most men find this advice very difficult to follow as this is a bit strange as most men love a vocal woman and are silent themselves as sounds allow your partner to feel you and to feel your sexing energy.

I suggest faking erotic sounds at first to break long habits of holding the energy in... sexually confident men are not afraid to show their full sexing energy to women and boys are not comfortable in their sexuality.

Are You A Boy Or A Masculine Man?

The next key is the breath

By taking a deeper breath and slowing down the exhalation allows the body to relax... slower breaths taken deep from the belly builds up the energy in the body this also is a great aid in controlling not cuming too soon.

Can you see that relaxing and breathing deeply and making sounds is not something that men practice when self pleasuring?

So the home practice is to self pleasure with full body awareness and build up the sexing energy and take deep breaths and then make sounds and totally relax... stop any penis strokes at this point and do not try this very close to orgasm just let the body do what it wants to. 

You might find some shaking occurring as the multi orgasmic response will very subtle at first so just relax and see what happens and it is fine if nothing happens too... just repeat this practice a few times each week and in time you will be on the path to multiple orgasms.

Even if you do not want to develop multiples doing the above advice will a great aid in extending sexing and controlling premature ejaculation.

Have you any thoughts or comments you would like to share with me on what I have written?

I would love to hear from you.

Thank you and may you enjoy a Loving... Prosperous and Dynamic day!

Yours Sincerely

Dynamic Lifer... The Tribe of Dynamic Lifers

1... A person with a penchant for Science... creativity... books... writing... communication... fitness... women... sexing... sexuality... human relationships... psychology... physiology and any other area involving heavy use of the Intellect.

2... A bright person and glamorously Intelligent!

3... Ange is an Author... Speaker and Dynamic Peak Performance Personal Development Consultant... and Humanistic Counselling Psychologist... Sexologist and Multipreneur... who works with those men and women who desire to personally develop themselves and their relationships to become Dynamic Lifers... creators of their own life... relationships and wealth! 

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