Is It Love Or An Attachment Relationship? 

By Ange Fonce

I have been recently asked by a bunch of people regarding their love dilemmas and it is interesting how similar their stories are from the other who have the same adversity.

Some of them believed this feeling is quite leaning to the idea of liking or loving someone.

The thing is people fail to see the difference between attachment and love.

Defining both terms, an attachment means many things, ranging from emotional affection to physical affection. We can probably define it as a strong emotional bond. Whereas, love is a direct feeling to somebody else.

Emotional attachment and love are actually interconnected yet they are partially and distinctively different.

What confuses me the most is how people bring the case of attachment to the level of love considering the fact that these people have been together for only a year or worst, months.

Humans Are Easily Attached

We are attached to objects, events, and people.

We get attached to our personal belongings, a special place, routines, environment, atmosphere, almost everything.

Attachment is where you become self-centered.

You tend to feed your needs with these particular things. And people are not an exception. We tend to get attached to people because of how they let us feel. We always believe that we like or we are supposedly in love with this particular person when in fact we are simply attached to them.

You are not in love with this particular person, you love how they always make you feel. This is why the term “giddy” is usually used in terms of these kind of situations.

As I have read many articles regarding psychology, our subconscious minds are driven to people who have common perception and interests with us which is usually the trouble with many relationships. We usually pursue relationships with people because we are comfortable with them and so it drives us to stay.

Which is the whole context of attachment. We stay because we feel appreciated, we get attention, we feel special, we feel giddy, we get complimented, we feel encouraged which is usually drawn to becoming self-centered.

We are trying to feed our needs. And we usually need attention and we love being in this kind of state. Attachment is a need for someone to fill a void in your life or in your self esteem. Which is why it feels sickening to have this person away from you because you tend to feel lonely without them around and again, it is about you concerning with what you will feel without them. Like I said, attachment.

Now Going To Love

It does not necessarily mean that love is where you feel the exact opposite of attachment.

Love is a word and action which is pretty much difficult to find.

As humans, love is part of our needs. We need love. And if we deprive ourselves of love, who knows what will happen. 

The thing is, love is not demanding, not desperate and less self-centered, it is where you just feel like you need to protect and love regardless of whatever it is.

An example would be our family; we love our family or at least we loved our family. We complete each other and we would do anything for our family.

Same goes for that particular person you probably have not met yet or had one right now, we do not disregard flaws yet then we accept them.

People are misled by that statement, anyhow. Some people disregard flaws and they are mistaken for believing that disregard is the case of understanding. Disregard is to pay no attention and just shove the idea out of the big picture whereas understanding is getting the whole concept of the big picture and it does not hurt if a big crack exists in that picture.

You get to be proud of it. You relate yourself with this particular flaw and then you see yourself and then you change.

And this is the context of love.

To summarize things up,

Attachment is where you feel the need of talking to this person, you need to feel happy, you need to feel loved.

Love does not need all that. It is impulsive, it is unreasonable.

Pay attention to the difference...

Do you need to be with that person or do you enjoy yourself, enjoying that person?

I will be covering more about attachment styles and how they impact relationships in future articles.

If you are interested and want to know more about Gender Education For Human Relationships.

Please Contact Me to let me know and I will reach out to you to arrange a complimentary coaching session.

Have you any thoughts or comments you would like to share with me on what I have written?

I would love to hear from you.

Thank you and may you enjoy a Loving... Prosperous and Dynamic day!

Yours Sincerely

Coach Ange Fonce

Ange is an Dynamic Personal Development Coach who works with those men and women who want to personally and powerfully develop their confidence, relationships, sexing, health and wealth!

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