Intimate Communion Magazine Questions
Social Courting Relationship And Sex Issues
How To Find A Man Who Loves Children? He say's we not compatible? Plus Lots More

Welcome to your monthly edition of Intimate Communion Questions where I answer your "questions" about love, romance, social courting, relationships and sex. 

That I receive as individual e mail messages sent to me via the Contact page here on my website. 

Or via my Facebook and Google + 1 pages.

Even receiving one via Blackberry!

There was a lot of feed back and more questions from last months edition. 

I answered one of those questions by turning R's question into an article. 

So let us start right away with a very good question by Mary...  

Mary asks . . . 

"Ange! I don't know what to do! I met a guy out on a girl's night out about two months ago. We really hit it off. He takes me out. He treats me like a lady. When he touches me, it's amazing . . . 

I feel wanted.
I feel desired.
I feel like I'm falling in love.

But I'm afraid.

See, I have a beautiful little daughter. She's 6. She's wonderful. She's my whole world.

And I'm scared to tell this man about her.

My ex and I broke up two years ago. I'm smart. I'm attractive. I meet men. But when these men find out I have a daughter something changes.

They get weird. They pull away.They think I'm 'tricking' them into being a dad.

So I didn't bring her up at first. 

And then a few weeks went by and I got scared and didn't mention her.

And now it's been 2 months and I feel like I've waited too long and he's going to FREAK out if I bring it up.

How do I tell him about my daughter?

What do I do if he freaks out?

I just want a good man. What do I do?"


My Reply...

Dear Mary,

Thank you for contacting me and your message.

First a couple things...

I can feel just from your email how torn up you are about this.

And I totally get it.

I know from my own experience of being a single parent (In my case 4 kids) and both female and males friends who are single parents what a tough job it is . . .

How you feel like your body, your life is not your own . . .

And in your case as a woman. 

How you just want a good man to look at you with desire and love and lust again and take you out and twirl you around and show you how sexy you are.

And just "value" and "appreciate" you as a woman.

Have you ever asked him how he feels about kids?

When I was reading your email, I kept expecting SOMETHING in there about how this guy has sworn up and down, left and right that he will never have children and he will not have them in his life.

I was expecting to read the beginnings of some horror story about a mother who drove her children into a lake because her boyfriend does not want them.

It is true, some guys do not want kids. 

And even some guys who DO want kids do not necessarily want to take care of somebody else's son or daughter. (There are biological reasons for this passed down through our evolution, but I wont bother you with the Science).

So here is my recommendation...

1. Take a breathe and forgive yourself. 

Yes, you messed up a little by not mentioning until now that you have got a daughter, and it is OK. 

Actually, you are better off doing what you did then you would be if you introduced him to your daughter after a week or two of social courting. 

That can end VERY badly.

2. How do you tell him?

Simply, without shame, with a little bit of an apology and as soon as you can.

Being open and honest.

I suggest next time you are hanging out and having a nice time, just come out with it.

"Hey, I know I really should have told you this before and I feel a little stupid that I waited this long to mention it, but I have a daughter."

You will basically get one of three reactions...

1. Enthusiastic.

"Really,I love kids, what's her name?"

If this happens - awesome. 

Keep on moving forward.

2. Horrified.


Or words to that effect, you KNOW where I am coming from.

If this happens - not as awesome, but at least you know he is not a guy you want to be with and walk away from.

3. Somewhere in the middle.

"Really? I'm kind of insulted you didn't tell me earlier. I don't know how to feel about this."

If this happens - well, you have got some work to do. 

And that is fine. 

Apologize for taking so long. 

Explain that you really like him and were scared he would freak out.

You being honest, sincere and taking responsibility for your thoughts and actions, will send him a real powerful MESSAGE that you are Genuine.

See where it goes, he might surprise you when you are REAL with him.

If it does not work out with this guy, here is some tips on how to find a guy who loves kids (and how to be both a cool mum and a sexy woman great guys cannot resist.)

1. There's a LOT of single dads out there who know what parenthood is like. 

There is even single parent dating sites.

2. No matter who you are social courting, keep them and your kids separate for at least the first couple months.

If you introduce your kids too early, it makes a guy feel like you are trying to "daddy" him too early (plus it is devastating to the child if this guy disappears.)

3. Your attitude is everything. 

If you are enthusiastic about your child and think of and act like having a daughter is a BONUS as opposed to BAGGAGE that will come across in all your interactions with guys.

I know it is a tough one Mary, being a single parent you have a lot of added complications that single and married people do not.

I am going to say to you what I say to all my clients who work with me.

Get it into your mind set...

"You are the Prize" to be earned and won!"

If this man really "values you" and understands that part of you is that "prize" of your daughter. 

Then give him the gift of you and your daughter.

You both come as a part of the same package.

Let me know how you get on Mary.

Yours Sincerely

Ange Fonce

Now onto Helen who asks me...

"I've been in my relationship for 2 years, he said we are not compatible since we started to date, once I talk to him about small things he just say we not compatible, but he don't want to stay away, I told him I'm ready to let go although I'm so much in love with him, he said he want and don't want to, I don't know what to do anymore,"

Helen via BlackBerry®

My Reply...

Hi Helen, 

Thank you for your message and writing to me.

First of all Helen....I have to say this...

You have got to do what is right for you and not what is right for him.

Now you say you have been in a relationship for two years Helen and the guy is saying your not compatible.

And yet he is more and likely having sex with you and sharing all the benefits of you.

May I say something straight to you lady...WAKE UP...Do not let love blind you to the REALITY of your situation.

This guy is playing you along, giving you just enough to keep you hanging there. 

When really he is Mr unavailable and is not going to make a commitment to you.

Two years is a long time to keep on saying your not compatible.

You have two choices.......

1) Tell this guy to either commit to be in a relationship with you or ship out.

2) You make the choice to let him go.

Other wise you will continue going along with things as there and you not knowing where you stand.

Do you want that for the rest of your life?

How much do you "value" yourself as a woman here?

Let me know how you get on Helen.

Yours Sincerely

Ange Fonce

Now onto the next question.

Lorraine who asks me...

"Hi Ange,

I have written to you before and would love your input on this question. 

I am currently separated and am waiting to get my divorce finalized before starting to date. I am using this time to become the best woman I can be.

Part of this process for me is to look at what went wrong in my marriage (other than that I picked a very broken man).

I found that I over-functioned in my marriage and the worse things got, the more I gave. From what I have been learning, this was a big mistake. 

I am a very giving, nurturing person.  Can I be too generous in a relationship?

Giving is a part of who I am and I don't want to make the same mistake again. I derive tremendous pleasure out of giving to those around me, without the expectation of getting something in return. 

How do I stay true to my authentic self in a relationship, without over-doing the giving part? 

When I care about someone, I want to show them. It could be cooking them something special, showing them appreciation with words of encouragement or doing something for them. 

This has been very successful with my children and friends, but not

so much in my marriage. I don't know if it was because he wasn't capable of receiving love or if it was something that I was doing wrong. 

I know it's hard to be able to answer this question without knowing the whole situation. My view of giving to a partner is that we would both give to each other in ways that show the other person how special and loved they are. 

Since I can't control how the other person does things, I give to show my side of the love. I don't know if this makes sense.

Thanks for your input,"


My Reply...

Hello Lorraine 

Good to hear from you again.  

I am so glad you made a good decision to wait on the divorce to be finalized to start social courting. 

It will not be easy but it will be well worth it.  

For better or worse, having an active social life while legal proceedings are going on can (at least theoretically) have a detrimental effect on your case for custody, etc.  

Above and beyond that it is just MUCH, MUCH easier to build trust with a man and get the relationship off on the right foot when you are not still legally married to someone else.

And you are absolutely correct...the interim between now and when your divorce is finalized is a great time to learn so much and grow as a person.  

You will be ready to make a great choice when it comes to the next man in your life.

And now, on to your main question...

Please rest assured that you are not alone on this issue of being taken advantage of.  

As women you are nurturers; you want to make people happy.

I read somewhere (I cannot remember now where I read it.)  

"Men are providers and enablers for women to have the freedom to bring abundant joy and happiness to the family and the world."  

Women have an all-important role in life and men are supporters of that.

However, since we live in an imperfect world something good really can turn to something, well...less than good.  

For example...

A little wine can do the heart good but it can surely been abused to the point that it can damage the body.  

With all things there is a balance.

Here are a few basic guidelines to help you determine if someone really is appreciative of your kindness or they are taking advantage of it.

1. Guard from allowing yourself to be the only one who is giving in any type of relationship.  

Give the man or friend an opportunity to shower you with kindness too.  

Ironically, for many "givers" this can feel very uncomfortable at first.  

Just remember there is real truth in the saying... 

"There is more joy in giving than receiving."  

Therefore, why rob someone of the joy of giving you something, whether it be in the form of a tangible object or some special favor to you? 

2. Be careful about giving in to others who brazenly make DEMANDS of you.

If you are called upon to drop what you are doing for someone right then and there, it is time to make a quick judgment call.  

No matter how much you WANT to help someone, be sure to ask yourself first... 

"If the roles were reversed, would this person come to my aid or would I get an excuse?"

Ironically, that excuse can often come in the form of...

"Yeah, well...I'm in the middle of something."   

Manipulative types only help you when it is convenient for them.  

Do not put yourself out for those types of people.

3. Know "The Golden Rule In Reverse."

This is the perfect antidote for when someone is trying to manipulate you.

Sometimes if you balk at providing immediate help to someone who is asking something of you, they might try to make you feel if YOU are the unreasonable one and should feel like a bad person for not giving in.

When this happens ask yourself the following question... 

"Would I ever in a million years do unto someone else what is being done unto me right now?"  

If the answer is "no" - that the though of putting someone in that position is unthinkable - then you have your answer.

Keep this in mind and you will never be manipulated into "over giving" again.

4. Make boundaries for yourself ahead of time.

There is nothing wrong with saying "no." 

It is your right, and oftentimes it is actually in the best interest of whomever is making requests of you.

Although you cannot control what other people do, you can control what you let them do to you.  

Continue to love and nurture those you love but create boundaries that are in everyone's mutual best interest and stick to them.

All of what I have shared with you takes practice and time to change but you can start today with friends and family.  

By the time you are in a place to social court you will be ready!

Good to hear from you again Lorraine.

Take care of yourself

Yours Sincerely

Ange Fonce

And now to the next question. 

Annette asks me...

"Hi Ange, Just want to say I love your articles and always learn so much from them. 

I wanted to get your opinion on something. I've been dating this guy for about 2 months now.  We have a lot in common and get along great.  

The first few dates were nice and he brought up marriage and kids. He said he wanted to eventually marry again (he's been married before) and have a child soon (he has no children)...within a year since he is older. 

He said he didn't want to be an old dad. This was music to my ears since I too want to get married and have a child. 

Well based on this, we decided to go exclusive since I would only go exclusive with a man that wanted marriage and kids like I do. 

However, for the last few weeks, this man has slowly but surely changed his story.  

Now he says that marriage isn't necessary.  That two people can commit to one another and love each other without marriage.  That the piece of paper is false security and that it just creates more problems than it's worth.  

He believes two people can build a life together without the need for marriage. Then he says that if he did decide to marry someone, he would have to date her for at least 3 years and that it takes that long to get to know someone and be sure.  

I told him I disagreed.

He also says now that he isn't sure he wants to have kids.  

So now I find myself in an exclusive relationship with someone who doesn't share my timetable or my dream to marry and try to have a child. 

I don't have three years to wait around for a man to marry me and then start a family.  And even if I didn't want kids, I don't think it's necessary to date someone for that long before marriage.  

I think if you know that person is THE ONE, you will know it in about 1 yr or so.  Why drag it out and date for so long needlessly?
Do you think I am wrong or being unrealistic?  Is 3 yrs necessary to truly know if the person is THE ONE?  

Should I continue to date him exclusively knowing now what I know about him?  Or should I break it off? 



My Reply...

Dear Annette,

Thank you for your message and your question.

Your story brings to light some great points that are important.

But first I wanted to let you know that your feelings are right on.

If you are spending 3 or more days a weeks together then one year of courting should be more than enough time to know if marriage is the right step for the both of you.

Three years may make sense if you are very young (e.g. attending college) or in a long-distance relationship. 

And in your case this is not your scenario.  

Think about how easy it would be to waste 3 or more years on someone who many never have real intentions of marrying you!

And the bigger picture here is that this man is playing you.
Early in the courting process he told you exactly what he thought you wanted to hear... 

"I want to get married and have kids very soon."

He probably thought that if he dangled "commitment" before you, you would have sex with him.  

It is kind of the guy version of a woman withholding sex until she is in a committed relationship, if you think about it.

When we are selfish, we tantalize with what our partner wants...and really it is only to get what we want.

When a man is sex-focused and a woman is longing to start a family then he may offer to start that family with her someday.  

And in the mean time he gets to fulfill his desire for sex. 

The problem is after he has gratified his desires and received everything he can from you then he might become disinterested.  

The challenge is gone.  

The hunt is over.

The next step will be to drag out the relationship for years-or at least until he moves on to someone else.
All men are not like this, of course.  

And here are a few red flags to watch out for in identifying those who are...
1. If a man is talking about marring you within the first few meetup's or how he would love to father your kids, then be very cautious. 

This could be a ploy...or he could be lonely and willing to attach himself to the first woman who will say "I do." 
2. A sex-focused man could be constantly trying to pressure you into sleeping with him...

3. Or he could act disinterested to cause you to make the first sexual advances.  

After all you do want him to notice you sexually, and men know you want them to think you are attractive to them.

Always be careful about telling a man everything you are dreaming about - especially as it might possibly pertain to him.  

In other words do not be so quick to say "I want to get married and have kids soon."

If you would like to, you can let the men you are seeing know that when the right man comes along marriage would be nice and that someday you will have kids.

Contrast that sentiment with dropping that desire squarely in his lap.

This takes the pressure off of him, therefore freeing him from thinking that you are trying to pin him down to a commitment. 

As a result, he may be more likely to be straightforward about his intentions.

Of course you do not want to think the worst of the men you are social courting with. 

There are plenty of men who are actively looking for a wife with the intent of starting a family. 

I often hear from men like this, so I know they are out there. 
So, then, knowing there are good men out there, how can you fine-tune your "Bull Shit Detector" when you come across a man who could be deceiving you so you do not waste your time with the ones who are not?

The key, as always, is if you notice inconsistencies, check to see if he potentially lied to you or if he changed his mind about something.

Let us look specifically at the man you are currently courting...

1.  I am sure it was nice to hear the words "I want to get married soon, with in a year." 

And 2 months later he shares with you his core thinking about courting and marriage, which is that couples should court for at least 3 years.  

How can he get married with in a year if he thinks that couples should court 3 or more years before doing so?

I change my mind about what shoes I am going to wear and I do not change my mind about what matters to me.  

This man lied in the beginning about wanting to get married in the first place. 

2.  After previously expressing a desire to marry, he now says marriage is not even necessary at all.  

He claims that two people can commit to one another and love each other without marriage.

If you hear this from a man one of two things is going on.  

First, he could possibly be having a change of heart.  

He may be having second thoughts about whether you are the one or not, and is afraid to let you go just yet.  

He could be buying time, waiting for someone better to come along. 

And ask if his ideas about marriage hold true regardless of who he meets. 

If so, then he lied in the beginning about wanting marriage.  

Be aware that most men will be excited about getting married if they feel they have found "The One."

3.  Men and women usually know if they want kids or not, especially when the clock is ticking.  

He even made sure you were aware that he is getting older and wants to have a child soon.

And now there is another change in the story.  

He has informed you that he has no desire to have all  

Again, clearly he has either experienced a very real change of heart, or he has simply demonstrated that he is a liar.  

There is only one good thing about lies...  

The truth eventually comes out. 

What you do with this information is up to you.  

You can try to keep your head in the sand and pretend it is not happening, keeping everything status quo.  

You can continue to think he will change and fulfill your dreams, even though that is very likely to never happen.

Or you can do something about it.  

And I think that is the better option...always.

Refuse to court any man who is not "feeling it" for you anymore, and who does not have the backbone to break up with you. 

And especially refuse to continue courting any man who has proven to be deceitful.  

Save a lot of time and heartache by continuing your quest for Mr.Right elsewhere.  

In doing so you will be much more likely to find a wonderful man who cannot wait to marry you.

Yours Sincerely

Ange Fonce

And now onto Lee who sent me a long and detailed question.

Lee asks...

"Hello Ange,

I started reading your articles and I love the advice you give to people.  I was hoping you could give me some as well. 

I've gotten myself into a situation that I probably shouldn't have gotten involved with. 

I'm 19 years old and started seeing a guy I used to work with. The thing is he's 30, I know this is a huge age difference especially at my age but I had never intended for this to last as long as it has.

About 3 or 4 months into our relationship I found out he had a son who had just been born. He told me he hadn't said anything because he didn't want to complicate things since we weren't that serious. 

He also told me he wasn't with the mother and had only been with me since we'd been together. I decided to continue my relationship with him. 

We've been together for about a year and a half now but I have a few problems with our relationship.

First I've never met his son, he tells me stories about him and shows me pictures but I've never actually seen him. 

He told me he wanted me to eventually and we were supposed to take him out for lunch one day but he ended up changing his mind. He says he is not comfortable with me meeting him yet. 

I don't want to bother him about this, it's his son and his decision but I really would like to feel like I'm more involved in his life.

He also started working as a bus driver.  His shifts start very early like 3 and 4 in the morning and are long shifts but he usually get a 3-hour break in the day. Which is when I usually see him. 

He gets two days off during the week but usually takes his son for those days but sometimes he'll come see me, because of this I never get to go to his apartment I've only been there 3 times. 

I don't drive so its easier for him to come and see me especially since we see each other mostly on his breaks. 

I'm also in university so that limits our time even further. It bothers me that we never go to his house when he lives alone and I live with my parents but I don't know how to change this.

I've been worrying lately that he might be seeing other people, mainly his ex and mother of his child. 

Obviously he has to see her and speak to her, so I can't say anything about it. Since I never go to his apartment I'm worried that maybe she's there.

I do call his apartment when he's not home to see if any girls answer and they don't but they used to be engaged so I'm really paranoid, they were serious but he swears he's not with her. 

He's really kind to me when were together and were happy and all that, but I'm worried that I'm getting myself into a situation I can't handle. 

I know I'm young so I don't know how these kid situations are suppose to work and I can't talk to anyone about it. 

My parents don't know he has a kid and my friends think I'm foolish, none of their relationships are this complicated. 

I really hope you can tell help me, my biggest fear is that I'm being used or helping him cheat on this woman.

I just figured I try and see if you had an opinion.

Thanks for your time"

Lee Ann Canada

My Reply...

Hello Lee Ann,

First of all, thank you for your question and writing to me.  

I am sure what you are going through must be very frustrating.

I have to tell you that my first inclination is to think that your guy likely is seeing other women, and may in fact be married to the mother of his baby (assuming the baby in the pictures is really his). 

For starters, the very predictable and regular pattern of his visits with you - especially in the middle of his work shifts - is a dead give away.   

And while I understand he is telling you that he sees his son on all of his days off, somehow that story does not hold together for me.  

Have there NEVER been exceptions...even now that over a year has passed?

Further, he conveniently did not tell you about the baby for the first few months.  

Was he seeing you on his days off before his son was born?  

Or has it always been the way it is now?

Then, he suggests the possibility of you meeting his son only to change his mind later.

Has he told you why he is uncomfortable?  

Sure, I will be the first to acknowledge that even small children are VERY astute when it comes to picking up on social things.

And I would be hard pressed to think that a little one who, based on your timeline, cannot be older than 14 months would be even able to comprehend you being Daddy's girlfriend.

And there are other questions.  

First of all, are you SURE that the number you have is to his apartment?  

Are you SURE the apartment you visited was HIS apartment if you have only been there a few times in a year and a half?  
And if so, were given the "tour" or did he keep you only in the main room?

Trust me when I tell you it is NOT standard for a guy not to bother to bring a woman back to his place all that often during a year and a half of courting.

All of that said, the most troublesome factor I see is the LACK OF COMMUNICATION between the two of you.

Based on what you have written, he simply has to know you have questions.  

Yet it looks to me like he pretty much prefers to keep you in the dark.  

Otherwise, if there was nothing to hide do you not think he would rather you be comfortable with him than uncomfortable?

My educated guess is that the man you are with is a master manipulator.  

As such, he fully realizes the power of treating you right when you are actually together.  

When you feel good while he is with you and after ward, this naturally keeps you from asking the hard questions and "spoiling the moment."

He knows that.

But here is the thing...  

If you have ALL THESE QUESTIONS and NO ANSWERS, it is time to learn a life truth.

I realize you are young, but that does not mean you cannot become wise beyond your years.

When you have enough evidence to go on, it is okay to either demand the answers you truly deserve...or end the relationship.

After all, as you have heard me say a many times, there are some GREAT, HIGH QUALITY MEN OUT THERE.  

The longer you stay with someone who is a manipulator, the longer you are keeping yourself from  meeting them!

Instinctively, you probably already realize this.  

After all, you have heard your friends opinions and deep down you know what your parents would tell you if you mentioned the baby.

So why, then, do you stay in unfavorable relationship even when you suspect something (or many things) are very, very wrong?

Why do you stay in relationship even when you are frustrated or even totally unhappy? want answers.  

You want CLOSURE.

Somehow, sticking around until you KNOW EVERYTHING FOR SURE is exactly what KEEPS YOU THERE.

Weird, is it not?

Actually, it is really a natural human thought process called the Zeigarnik Effect.

According, the Zeigarnik Effect states that "people remember uncompleted or interrupted tasks better than completed ones."

In other words, if you "left hanging" in suspense about something, you are very likely to have a very unsettling feeling until whatever it is can be resolved.

When a TV show ends with "to be continued," you are peeved...and you are also way, way more likely to tune in to the next episode!

And that's EXACTLY what is going on in your relationship.

Your guy is depending upon the element of unresolved "mystery" to keep you around, despite pretty strong evidence that you should probably end things.

Well, here is what I would like you to take away from this conversation above all else...


Sure, you feel like you do not want to mess something good up if all of this is in your head.  

And when the evidence that something fishy is going on starts to mount, it is time to act.

And now is one of those times where you have got to fight the urge to resolve your suspense and simply let go.

The ironic part?  

Once you break up he may just end up giving you the information you wanted anyway.  


Well, because it is also human nature to spill your guts when there is no longer any reason to keep quiet.

I realize this will be a hard decision, and I am rooting for you!

Have Fun (for a change!)

Yours Sincerely

Ange Fonce

And now onto the last question where Lucia asks me about whether to quit a relationship or not?

Lucia asks...

"Dear Ange Fonce,

First of all I want to say that your articles are very interesting to read. 

I would like to ask you about my particular dating issue. 

Some time ago I met a guy and we started dating. I like him and he seems to like me too but I am concerned about how much he likes me. When we meet he acts nice and fun, but keeps it cool. 

Maybe its because he is little bit shy around me. Actually we do not meet too often like couple times a month and send few SMSes. 

So I cant rid of the idea that he just meets with me when he has no other more interesting plans. At the moment I don't have other dates, so I keep going out with him. 

Well, it is just the beginning as we were dating only for 2 months. 

We both are open to date others. I would like to meet with him more often, but I feel lack of his interest in me, which turns my enthusiasm off. 

Is it better just quit with him or try to increase the interest? 

I would be very thankful for your comments."

Lucia... Chile

My Reply...

Dear Lucia,

Thank you for writing to me and your message.

First of all, I am glad you are enjoying the articles I post out.

You know, your question may be one of the most common ones I receive on a regular basis.

When a guy does not exactly fawn over you, it just makes you think about him all the time, does it not?  

It makes you want him MORE...right?

Why is that?

Well, it kind of makes you feel as if you are going to have to earn his affection. 

And since the two of you are "open" to courting others, it tends to cause of feeling of wondering what other women are vying for his attention.  

There is this misconception that women really are not so into competition, are you? 

Yet, when you know you have a guy who is not falling for you so quickly, it makes you all the more intrigued.  

Your mind starts working overtime trying to plan how you can get him to understand that the best woman for him is right before his very eyes...if only he would "see the light" and figure it out.

So what do you do?  

Well, you can simply give up, as you have suggested as one option you are considering.

And nobody wants to be a quitter!  

That just feels so, well...weak.

On the other hand, however, when a woman recognizes herself as a great catch and thinks of herself to be a woman of confidence and a solid self esteem she feels slightly indignant about the man's apparent blindness to the situation.

It is with that mindset she might actually choose the SECOND option you have presented... 

She will redouble her efforts to impress him.  

In other words, she sets out to PROVE herself.

Perhaps ironically, and certainly contrary to what makes sense, this determination can actually drive a man away.

It is true.  

And this is not a gender-specific thing, either.

Think about it.  

Have you ever met a man who very quickly became completely infatuated with you?  

Perhaps he called you several times a day, gushed about how wonderful you are and maybe even bought you expensive gifts.  

Or maybe he just seemed to sacrifice everything at your feet...including his dignity.

Were you MORE attracted to him because of all this?

Probably not.  

If you are like most women you were left feeling a bit empty. 

It is almost as if you felt that if you were able to capture this man's heart, mind and soul so easily, you could probably do even better.

It is a terrible feeling to realize you are seeing a man in this way, especially when he is so super nice to you.

And you cannot change how you feel.

Were you to chase this man with renewed enthusiasm, my thinking is he I driven away.

So what to do?

There is actually a THIRD option.

And I feel I must tell you, it is not the easiest way to go.

If you want him to take more notice of you, you simply have to become less available.  

And you have to build other activities into your life that cause you not to focus on him so much.

Now I fully realize that you already do not see him so much.  

My impression is that you do not talk to each other all that often either.

So right now I would have to suppose you are not the highest priority in his life.

That does not change what I told you.  

Why is that?  

Well it is really all about your ATTITUDE.  

If you are at his whim when he DOES call you, he feels you are pretty easy to corral, cowgirl.

Were you to actually NOT be available on a night he wants to see you...or NOT pick up the phone when he calls...that would clue him in that you are more of a challenge.

Does this all sound like game playing?  

Well, if it is all simply manufactured behavior for the sake of going through the motions, then it IS just a 'game."

And if you can successfully consider yourself a woman who DOES have options when it comes to attracting great men, and who DOES have a life full of excitement beyond what one guy can provide on an irregular basis, then the authenticity of who you are will create genuine intrigue.

If not in this guy, then in many, many others who will find you irresistible.  

And you will find it happening more and more often.

As for the guy you are seeing, he may or may not respond as you desire.  

He is his own man.  

And becoming the woman who neither gives up nor chases - and who rather rests in her desirability - will always make you the one who creates the most natural attraction from men.

I am sure after reading this reply to your question, you will realize you DO have options and if this guy is serious on you it will make him up his game.

Let me know how you get on.

Yours Sincerely

Ange Fonce

Thank you for all your GREAT QUESTIONS!

And that wraps up this months issue of Intimate Communion Magazine Questions.

As ever...

Always leave a man or a woman all the better for knowing you. 

Average men and women know only the rules. 

Masculine Men and Feminine Women know and are the EXCEPTIONS!

For Love and Intimacy...

Ange Fonce

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