Intimate Communion Magazine Social Courting Relationship 
And Sex Questions Issue 25

By Ange Fonce

And welcome to this edition of The Intimate Communion Magazine Readers Questions?

It has been a while since I put together and published your questions you ask me as I have been investing a lot of my time in creating and writing a new system for Dynamic Life Development Systems Personal Development Academy... The DYNAMICS Of Courting... Sexing... Relationship and Intimacy and so let us move on.

In this edition... I answer questions from you about love... sexing... relationships... fantasies and worry... that both men and women sent to me via e mail. 

In this issue of your questions... the subjects I reply to are... 

"When is it the right time to sleep with a man?"

"I don't want to destroy your life."

"It's like cheating on JESUS!!!!" 

"I'm 35 and losing hope have you got any suggestions"

We open up this issue of your questions with a very good question from Maria which I do my best to give a full answer too as it is a BIG question that affects most women... now let us get started and read on... 

Question... Maria asks...

“Ange when should I SLEEP with a guy a like? Will he think I'm a $#@$ if I do it on the first date? Will he lose interest if I make him wait? When I was 20 this all made sense but now that I'm older and am back in the dating world I need help!”

Maria... Spain

Ange Answers...

Dear Maria... 

Thank you for contacting me and your question?

And may I say also the thousands of other women asking this same question... which is a really Great question!

And here is my answer which is going to stun you...

It depends.

I bet you wanted something simple like "on the third date"... I have to say nope and it depends... now let me go through the reasons of why it depends.

First... it depends on the man and his attitudes towards women and sexing.

Second... it depends on what you want from the man like a fling... boyfriend... husband and wedding?

Third... it depends on why you want to sleep with him in the first place.

Let me explain what I am saying and break this down a little bit in reverse order...
1... WHY Do You Want To Sleep With Him?

I mention this a lot and it is really important for you to understand that sexing simply does not carry the same emotional weight or importance for men as it does for most women... sure we obsess about sexing pretty much constantly and put every woman we see through imaginary carnal contortions and are basically ruled by our testosterone... we want sex a lot and frankly we want it with a lot of women... though we can also learn to be happy in a monogamous relationship with the right woman.

Yet just because sexing is a huge motivator for a man and even a great point of leverage if you want to manipulate a man does not mean it actually means that much to him once it is said and done and to be blunt... 

Sexing is more important to a man before he has it than it is after he has it and that first time with a woman is always going to have way more power with a man than any other time you make love.

Let us list out a few cool reasons and a few really uncool reasons to have sexing with a man you recently started courting...

Cool Reasons...
1... Because you sincerely like the man and have got to know him well enough to trust him and think it is time to add a physical element to your relationship that you will both enjoy.

2... Because after everything that happened with your ex... it has been years since you were made love to properly and you really just need a man to treat you like a woman.

3... Because... well you are in the mood and he smells AMAZING.

Nothing wrong with that at all as long as you know that is why you are doing it.

Uncool Reasons...
1... Because he is leaning on you and pressuring you to do it even though you are not ready and if he is... let him leave.

2... Because you think having sexing with him will make him "Like you more" or will make him "Fall in love with you."

Sorry it just does not work that way... it is a awful trick of biology because for women sexing creates feelings of love and closeness... for men sexing reinforces feelings we already have around a woman and does not create any new feelings at all.

That is a fancy way of saying... 

"Sleeping with him will not make him like you more."

It is also worth noting here that for most men that there is no implied commitment after you sleep together... unless you both already agreed that you are a "couple" and are "monogamous" he is probably not going to make that jump himself and then you will be SHOCKED and ANGRY later when you found out he slept with someone else.

2... What Do YOU Want From The Man?

Is this man just a fling for you with no serious long term potential or is he somebody who makes your stomach do back flips and has you daydreaming about weddings and minivans?

Not all men are created equal and you have got to be honest with yourself about a mans "potential" before jumping into bed with him.

And finally...

3... Who Is The Man?

Even though all men are powerfully driven by sexing... we also have very different levels of "culturalization" around the topic.

It is a generalization yet often the more "conservative" or religious a man is the more "baggage" he is going to have around the sex topic and the more serious it is going to be to him and sometimes REALLY conservative men can actually turn of a woman who has sexing with them because it is lame sexing.

Now let us boil all this down and answer your question as bluntly as I can...

1... If it is a man you like and you think there is potential for something great there... wait a little while.

Not months and months or anything like that and wait until you have shared time together and have got to know each other and he feels like he is had to do a little work to do to win the prize even if you have been desperate to let him.

2... If it is a man you do not see long term potential with... it is up to you and you have to be careful with your heart.

As I said in the beginning... it depends and this should give you a good start to at least think from.

Because really no matter what I say... it will be what you think and feel is right for you.

Yours Sincerely

Ange Fonce

And now the next QUESTION where Jennifer asks... 

"I have a problem with my boyfriend. At first he proposed marriage, but after a month of not seeing each other he told me that he has an incurable illness (an autoimmune kidney disease). I asked doctors about it and they told me the disease is curable. Every time I talk about getting married, he changes the topic. He says "I don't want to destroy your life." He says and proves that he loves me so much, but doesn't do anything to get married. What should I do?"

Jennifer... USA


Dear Jennifer.

Thank you for contacting me and your message.

I always feel a little bit like Batman when I get messages like this.

Not because I am wearing a skin tight kevlar costume or anything... I AM wearing a skin tight costume yet that is not the point in that I have to be a "Relationship Detective" to try to figure out what is going on and why this man is acting the way he is acting.

Here is what my detective skills are telling me based off your email . . .

He is not going to marry you at least not yet.

A few years ago I had a friend who cheated on his fiancée about 3 weeks before they were supposed to get married... it was a despicable thing to do and he suffered for it and I totally understood why it happened.

He did not cheat on her because he did not love her as he did love her and I think he still loves her now in some way.

He did not cheat on her because of some overwhelming undeniable lust. 

No... he cheated on her because he made a mistake... he told a wonderful woman he was ready to be her husband when he really was not ready at all.

And as the weeks went by and as the planning got done and as they picked out rings and china and as he thought about being a step father to her manic and beautiful little boy... he felt doubt and regret and toxic fear build in him like bitter soup.

The brave and right thing to do would have been to go to his fiancée and say... 

"I love you like crazy and I am just not ready for this."

And like most people my friend was not always brave or right... he kept his mouth closed... he bit his lip... he nodded and smiled... he thought... 

"Well it will be FINE once we actually do it wont we... well wont we?"

Basically he lied to himself and in turn lied to his fiancée and then one night he got a little drunk and a little stupid and ranted and rambled and cried and he fell into bed with somebody he should not have fallen into bed with.

And he woke up the next day feeling awful and bitter and relieved... because now he COULD NOT marry her as he now gone to the point of absolute no return... so the wedding was called off.

And he lost a good womans love and he got dragged over the coals and beaten and brutalized... which is a pretty awful story that is really not that uncommon at all.

I do not know what is going on with your man yet it feels to me like a couple things...

1... He probably DOES have this disease and it is justifiably FREAKING HIM OUT.

2... When he first asked you to marry him he probably meant it with all his heart.

3... After the spark and the glow and the juicy excitement wore off he felt doubt crawling into his heart like cockroaches across a clean kitchen floor... he started feeling sick in the night... he has realized he is not ready and then he found out he was sick and that caused all sorts of self loathing BS to come up and now he is trying to dip and dodge his way out of marrying you.

And you know what?

You should let him... because just like my friend the way he is handling this is not noble or right and you cannot force a man to commit to you and you really should not even try.

What I recommend you do is sit down with the and and as simply and unemotionally as you can say

"I really love you and I do not think we are ready to get married yet."

Watch his body language... watch the look in his eyes and get the illness thing figured out and see if there really is a cure. 

Be there for each other... build a great relationship and let the "Marriage" thing take care of itself later... got it?


Yours Sincerely 

Ange Fonce

Next QUESTION and Katrina asks...

"Ange! Explain to me why the heck Kristin Stewart would cheat on an amazing guy like Robert Pattison. I do NOT understand. If I had a young, rich, good looking guy like that I would NEVER let him go. Is she NUTS? WTH is WRONG with her. It's like cheating on JESUS!!!!"

Katrina...  USA

Ange Replies..

Dear Katrina

Thank you for your message and contacting me.

WOW... this is old news!

Umm...  because she is human and he is human and just because they play whiny and emotionally abusive vampires in a pretty awful series of  Romance Porn movies aimed at 13 year old girls does not change the fact that they are just two young people playing a very adult game of love in front of BILLIONS of people.

Honestly... I felt really bad for Kristen Stewart... she seems like a nice enough girl... pretty enough and smart enough and she has had a downright abusive level of fame thrust upon her and found herself in a sickeningly high profile romance at the age of 22.

From my viewpoint she is young and trapped in a golden cage unable to go out and have any kind of normal life at all and bored out of her mind and so she did something very stupid. 

I do not condone cheating and I certainly do not condone cheating with a married man with a couple of kids.

And she is not demon or harlot or vixen and she is not evil... she is just a 22 year old who made a 22 year old mistake... come on we have all done them.  

And as for Robert Pattison... I never really thought of him as all that charming or handsome... so sue me.

Yours Sincerely 

Ange Fonce

And the final QUESTION is from C who asks me...

"Hi Ange I broke up with my girl 4 years now and I haven't been able to get over her we have a son and she is getting on with her life meeting new people but my confidence is gone when I try I fail and I fail in bed too.

My Doc said there is medication to help the problem but I don't like meds I know its in my mind.

I'm 35 and losing hope have you got any suggestions please reply

thank you"

C... Ireland

Ange Replies...

Hi C.

Thank you for your message and contacting me.

A couple things...

1... 4 years is a long time to carry a torch... no matter how much you loved that girl you owe it to yourself and to your son at this point to drag yourself up by the collar and get back out into the world. 

To be a great dad you need to be happy and to be happy you need to at least open yourself to the IDEA of finding love again.

2... Impotence sucks and it can happen to EVERY man at some point or another... yes indeed it has happened to me too and my penis is usually as reliable as the German train system... yet even the Germans can on strike and not want to play! 

There is absolutely nothing wrong with getting a  little chemical "crutch" to help you get over the "hump" here when you are with a new woman for the first time... the LAST thing you need to be worrying about is if you are going to be able to perform or not.

And just because you try out the meds ONCE does not mean you have to use them FOREVER... most likely once you get comfortable with a new woman you will be able to ditch the pills entirely... I totally know where you are coming from by the way... I HATE the idea of taking meds for ANYTHING... yet that little bit of fizz in the pencil can make a happy lay!


Yours Sincerely

Ange Fonce

That is it for this edition. 

Your Questions And Inquiries...

If you would like to send me an e mail about a problem you are experiencing that I can answer... it will enable me to write a helpful response much more quickly if you keep it to a simple format... as you can imagine... I am a busy Man... so here are the guidelines...

1... Your question must be no more than 3... 4 paragraphs... please.

2... Get as specific as you can... and to the point... the details help me really get a feel for your unique situation.

3... You will not abuse my trust in you... as I will not abuse your trust in me.

4... You will not send customer support emails and spam to my contact email... if you do that you will not get a response and I will probably have to stop being so open with my time and providing a FREE advice service. 

Seriously... I want to help you... and to do that I need you to respect my time as much as I respect yours... and allow 2... 4 days for me to get back to you.

Have you any thoughts or comments you would like to share with me on what I have written?

I would love to hear from you.

Thank you and may you enjoy a Loving... Prosperous and Dynamic day!

Yours Sincerely

Intellectual Badass... noun

1... A person with a penchant for Science... creativity... books... writing... communication... fitness... women... sexing... sexuality... human relationships... psychology... physiology and any other area involving heavy use of the Intellect.

2... A bright person and glamorously Intelligent!

3... Ange is an Author... Speaker and Dynamic Peak Performance Personal Development Consultant... and Humanistic Counselling Psychologist... Sexologist and Multipreneur!... who works with those men and women who desire to personally develop themselves and their relationships to become Dynamic Lifers... creators of their own life... relationships and wealth! 

4... If you are Happy and you Know it... you are becoming a Dynamic Lifer!

To Speak to Ange and arrange a consultation for any problems you would like help with CLICK HERE

"Transformation happens when people fall in love with a different version of themselves and their future!"

Join us today and become one of The Tribe... a DYNAMIC Lifer and if you want to share with a friend a writing... please go ahead and let them know they can receive their own writings via e mail by directly joining The Tribe of Dynamic Lifers...I am sure they will appreciate your consideration of them.

Dynamic Life Development Systems 

Personal Development Academy