And welcome to this edition of The Intimate Communion Magazine Readers Letters... in this edition I reply to 3 BIG questions... that I have been asked for advice on via e mail... as always... you can comment on any one of these questions and offer up your opinion using the comments box at the end of this article.

The questions I reply to are...

What is Considered "Cheating?" 

My ex fantasizes about me. 

My girlfriend is living with another guy. 

So lets start with the questions......

Question 1... Leza says...

"Hi Ange! One of your followers posted that they thought that seeing the movie 'Magic Mike' would be considered cheating if you are in a relationship. I totally disagree and was curious what other people consider cheating. Perhaps you could post this question? Thought it would be interesting."
Yours interestingl"

Lise... UK

My Reply...

Dear Lise,

Thank you for your question and contacting me.
Lady... you made me watch a movie about male strippers.
OK... I actually WANTED to go see this particular movie about male strippers because I have always been a fan of Stephen Soderbergh's work... and thought Channing Tatum was hilarious in "21 Jump Street."
And I SWEAR I only packed myself into that theatre on a Sunday with 200 middle-aged women and 15 gay men for SCIENCE and to give you the absolute truth about whether this movie is "cheating... or not."

Just kidding... I sat at home and watched "Magic Mike" on my p.c.. and... my answer is... nope.
Not cheating... not cheating at all... not even in the same basic universe as cheating... I do not even think this movie knows cheating's post code code... it is a pretty good flick and all... and DAMN... that Channing Tatum man can dance... I am jealous... I can wiggle when I need to... yet I do not have moves like that.
And considering going to see a movie where some guys with great abs do a lot of pelvic thrusting... "cheating" on your boyfriend or husband is... and I am trying to be nice here... wrong headed... idiotic... lame... and UNHEALTHY FOR YOUR RELATIONSHIP.
LOOKING is not cheating.
LUSTING is not even cheating.
FANTASIZING is not cheating.
Because if looking was cheating then every single one of us... who was not struck blind is some horrible childhood accident... would be total cheaters.
And we are not... we are human beings... and as human beings there is absolutely nothing weird or even "morally wrong" about looking at other people and imagining all sorts of lovely... naughty... dirty things.
You could not stop yourself if you wanted to... cheating is about ACTION... not thought.
Smart men are actually REALLY HAPPY when movies like "Magic Mike" come out... why?
Because our women go off with their girlfriends to see this kind of movie... they lust uncontrollably at the pieces of hairless man-flesh writhing on stage... they titter... and giggle... and feel a lovely warmth deep in their stomachs... and then they come home and bang our brains out.
It is really not so bad.
Men and women... who think looking is cheating... and I am including men and women who think looking at porn IN MODERATION is a problem...  anything in excess is a different story... including those romance novels you women love so much! 
Anyway... people who are that uptight... and insecure are just locking themselves in for a lifetime of misery and lies... so what IS cheating?
It depends on you... your partner...  your deal breakers... what phase your relationship is in, etc.
I know people in open relationships for whom having sex with somebody else is not cheating... and honestly... it does not really matter what I consider to be cheating... it matters what you... and your partner think is cheating... and both freely agree to.
You cannot FORCE a man to live to some standard he finds ridiculous... no looking at porn... no looking at other women... no thinking about anyone... just you... no eating chocolate... chocolate gives you pleasure... and that is cheating... no watching Black Adder reruns... no talking to ANYONE you have EVER had ANY kind of sexual thought about... and if you TRY to do that sort of thing it is like attaching a time bomb to his heart as he gets worn down... and down...  and down until he explodes.
So the short answer is... cheating is what both partners freely... and without duress or prompting consider cheating.

Thats my thoughts on the matter.

Yours Sincerely

Ange Fonce

What do YOU consider cheating? 

Now for Question 2 which comes from Fiona Cooper...

"Is it good or bad that your ex fantasizes about u, and lets u know it?"

My Reply...

Hi Fiona,

Thank you for wrting to me and your message.

Flattering... enticing... possibly good... possibly awful.
He is fishing here... he is looking for sexual validation from you... and a bit of fun... the fact that he still wants you physically is a good thing if you want him back... sex is important.
And the key in your position is to USE that sexual tension... and desire to draw him closer... and to get your emotional hooks into him again.
Do NOT sleep with your ex or get too dirty with him right now... tease him... torture him a bit... and THEN go in for the kill.

Yours Sincerely 

Ange Fonce

And finally one from Michael Carrillo asks me...

"Right now I am still in love with my ex-girlfriend.  We had been dating for six months when all of a sudden the man she had been engaged to before we started seeing each other came back into the picture. She said she owed it to herself to see if she had feelings for him which is when she broke up with me. 

Now it has been a month and she has been living in his house, but insists that she is not in love with this guy. She sends me texts and calls me at least  once a week to tell me she misses me and that she made a mistake and wants to be with me. Yet she  is still with this guy in his house. She is telling me it is complicated, to be patient, and have faith because she is in love with me. 
I know this is bad for me because the stress is giving me insomnia, but I have tried moving on since then. I have been talking to other
women and have reconnected with a former girlfriend,but can only be with friends with her because of what happened in the past. 
Am I being a fool for still loving this girl and thinking that  she will come back to me?" 


My Reply...

Dear Michael,

Thanks for writing to me and your message.

First I got to do this ... ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!

That is better.

Stop being so bloody damned respectful and understanding... seriously where are your MASCULINE BALLS???
I know... I know... we are supposed to be all "feminist" now... I will probably write a whole article about how both men... and women misinterpret the word "feminism"... by the way... I am not "politically correct"... in any way... yet I am totally passionate about Human... and Equal rights between men... and women.
And what you are doing now... "waiting around"... for her... twiddling your thumbs... and "giving her time"... to figure things out"... is about as effective... attractive... and sexy as cutting off your own testicles... and making some kind of stew out of them.
YES Michael you need to HEAR this.

If you truly love this girl... stop being so bloody nice... and go freaking rescue her from this idiotic ogre.
Slay some dragons... crawl over broken glass... do everything you can to get her back in your house and out of his... and her saying it is "complicated" is pure... unmitigated BALLSHIT... either she wants to be with him... or wants to be with you. 

Put it on the line... STOP FART ARSING AROUND!
Go to her... seduce her... show her that you are strong... and committed... FIGHT for her... and BE unreasonable about it... be vicious... be a MAN!
And if you "lose?"

If you make a sincere play to make her YOURS with all the conviction.. and doggedness of Mario rescuing the princess from Bowser... hell yeah... a freaking Mario Bros... reference!
If after all that she still wants to "try things out" with this guy who is laying... YOUR women?
Then you walk away and you never look back... and what you are doing right now..."waiting around" for her... being her emotional bitch... her emotional TAMPON... her... boy... FRIEND... who is in the FRIENDS... ZONE... ugh... not sexy dude... not sexy... or MASCULINE at all... it makes me want to pet your head like a puppy... and see if you will chase a stick.

And if reading these words has made you ANGRY... GOOD!

Where is your... MAN BALLS... go get YOUR woman... and if she still flakes around then it is simple... GOODBYE... move on... NEXT!

Why would you want to be with such a woman anyway?

You have some serious questions to ask yourself Michael about being a MAN! 

Where is your MASCULINITY?

I serious suggest you go read this series of articles I wrote for my Experts page on Your Tango

Yours Sincerely

Ange Fonce

Thank you for all your GREAT QUESTIONS!

And that wraps up this issue of Intimate Communion Magazine Readers Questions.

As ever...

Always leave a man or a woman all the better for knowing you. 

Average men and women know only the rules. 

Masculine Men and Feminine Women know and are the EXCEPTIONS!

For Love and Intimacy...

Ange Fonce

What are Your thoughts and ideas?

Use the Comments box below and "Have Your Say"... even if you disagree with me... I really appreciate it when people reply with thoughtful and helpful comments... it makes my day. 

Your Questions And Inquiries

If you would like to send me an e mail about a problem you are experiencing that I can answer... it will enable me to write a helpful response much more quickly if you keep it to a simple format... as you can imagine... I am a busy Man... so here are the guidelines...

1. Your question must be no more than 3-4 paragraphs... please.

2. Get as specific as you can... and to the point... the details help me really get a feel for your unique situation.

3. You will not abuse my trust in you... as I will not abuse your trust in me.

4. You will not send customer support emails and spam to my contact email... if you do that you will not get a response and I will probably have to stop being so open with my time and providing a FREE advice service. 

Seriously. I want to help you... and to do that I need you to respect ME and MY time as much as I respect yours... and allow 3 - 7 days for me to get back to you.

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