And welcome to Intimate Communion Magazine... Readers Questions where I answer your questions that you send me via e mail and social sites.

In this issue...I answer questions ranging from getting "dry" during intercourse... and the IMPORTANT thing it tells you about HIS erection... to having your first orgasm.

Is it a common problem to get dry while having sex? 

When is the right time to have sex with a guy for the first time?

I haven't had my big O yet?

So let us get started and I share are my insights into your better sex life... starting with a question from Anita who asks me....

"Hi Ange,

Thanks for  everything. I love your articles!  Always very interesting.
Is it a common problem to get dry while having sex and can't support till the end...
I'm afraid and frustrated..
what happen
what to do???



My Advice And Reply...

Dear Anita,

Thank you for writing to me and your question.

Good news Anita... it is TOTALLY NORMAL.

It does not mean that you are not wet enough... it does not mean you are not staying aroused... it does not mean your man is doing anything wrong.. it does not mean anyone has any problem.

Here are the facts...

When you are having intercourse past a couple of minutes... the friction from the motion is constantly drying your natural lube and turning it sticky.  

It' is chemically similar to mucus and like mucus... if you rub it around between your fingers it will quickly dry into sticky goo... sounds great, right?

This dried lubricant will then continue to absorb wetness as you continue the friction... which is why most couples who indulge in an active and athletic sex life use a water based lubricant like K-Y jelly or astroglide.

The other IMPORTANT part of this equation is that during arousal you do not continuously produce the same amount of natural lube... it ebbs and flows and it is most active during early arousal.

This is the EXACT physical analog to what happens with men's erections... during arousal... a man's erection tends to ebb and flow in hardness.

When we are teenagers or in our 20s... you can sometimes stay rock-hard throughout a long session of intercourse... and as we mature... erections will vary in hardness during a long session of love making.

Unfortunately many couples get very insecure about this... men feel like they are inadequate and women feel unattractive and that it must mean that their man is not staying aroused for them... the result of this is a massive epidemic of men who are taking pharmaceuticals to enhance their erection when they do not need to.

I am amazed by the sheer number of men in their 20s, 30s, and 40s, with totally ability to maintain erection... who are now taking "vitamin V" almost every time they are with their lover.

Ange's prescription...

Use the lube for vaginal dryness without any embarrassment or concern... it just means you have a good sex life... and skip the "V" and enjoy the variety in his erection.

Yours Sincerely

Ange fonce

And now on to the next question that comes from Karen... who asks me...

"Hi Ange, question for you? Your opinion. When is the right time to have sex with a guy for the first time? Meaning I am after a long term life/ marriage partner here...not just sex for fun!Thanks!

Blessings!  Be well..Be Bliss"    

:) Karen....USA

My Reply...

Dear Karen,

Thank you for writing to me.

Obviously this is a personal decision and not one that you should outsource to me... and as you have asked my opinion... and naturally I do have some very strong opinions on the subject.

First of all... it IS true that many men will judge a woman who agrees to have sex with him too early.... what "too early" means will be different for different men... and the basic premise of what is happening here is either,

A) He thinks that "good girls" do not have sex too early because of some religious or cultural belief that women that are too eager for sex are bad... wrong... immoral... lack self control... and are not marriage material... even though it is obviously no big deal if he F69K'S every girl on the block... and was equally involved in that "too early" episode with you.

B) He is deeply insecure about his ability to fully satisfy and keep a sexual partner from straying... and he avoids confronting this issue with his own self - esteem by blaming women... without realizing it... he is trying to select for a woman who does not like sex very much so that she will be less likely to be tempted away... he equates your "too early" episode in bed as indicative of your lack of self-control around other men in general that might try to steal you away.

By that line of reasoning a woman who really loves sex is great for a fling... and it is better to marry a woman who does not enjoy it too much.

So the question is...

Which of those men do you want to marry?

Guy A or Guy B?

The fact is... plenty of otherwise great men suffer from these insecurities... and while it is not your job to get him past his self-esteem issues... it is within your ability to help... being sensitive to these issues can open huge doorways to intimacy and trust that he has never experienced with other women.

I think that the really great men who have solid self esteem are willing to trust that the extreme chemistry and attraction you share is why you jumped into sex with him... and that it is no indication of your morality or your ability to remain faithful.... for that man, the idea that you would hold off from sex because of some silly game you are playing in order to "trick him into thinking" that you are not the kind of woman who wants sex... Ug... what a huge turn-off, and what a gigantic break in intimacy and trust.

Your sexual relationship in this scenario began as an inauthentic power- play to win the man... is that the foundation you want to build a marriage on?

So here is my opinion on the subject...

Be as authentic and as open and truthful as you dare.... if you are out with a man and feel like every cell in your body is trying to tell you that he is Mr. Right... while every neuron in your brain is saying... "do not make a dumb mistake!" then my solution is to tell him the truth. 

Something like...

"Wow, I am really shocked by how much I want you right now. And I've got my head in a knot that you might be one of those guys who judges women who have strong sexual desire.  I'm really making myself vulnerable right now by saying this out loud. Please tell me what you are thinking."

And then shut up and see what he says... what happens next will go a long way to informing you of who this man is... if he reassures you in a straight and masculine way... and you end up having sex... and then he never calls you back (which I find unlikely)... then that was good short cut for weeding out that snake!   

You did not want to be with THAT man for sure!

Other men might say... 

"You know, I really like you too, so I think we should wait."

And yet another man might say... 

"You know, this is just a casual meet up for me.  I'd love to make love to you tonight, and please understand that I don't see this progressing into a serious relationship."

And then the ball is in your court... I think you will be very pleasantly surprised by how many men will meet your level of authenticity and open communication when you make the courageous move and lead the way.

Also Karen I recommend you have a good read of this article I wrote and posted on my website...

Yours Sincerely

Ange Fonce

And now for the final question for this issue which comes from Ruth and she asks me...

"Hi, i just subscribed and i have a question for you... I have never really talked to anybody else about this and i guess its about that time i did. The thing is i havent had my big O yet, me and my husband got married a month ago and for a while now it had kinda been bothering him that i havent had my big O yet with him... for me personally it doesn't bother me that i havent had one and i told my husband that. But for some reason it bothers him like crazy because he cant make me have an orgasm hes even gone to the extent to where he is looking stuff up on the computer and trying to find out more about it. I dont know what else to do... If you have any advise it would help out a lot... thank you."

Ruth... Isle of Man

My Insight On The Subject...

Dear Ruth,

Thank you for writing to me and your question.

Smiles... my first question from the Isle of Man... by the way I have a lot of Family living there on the Island.

So in summary... you are not bothered by the lack of orgasm... and your man is going crazy about it.  

So based on that... I am assuming you are asking how you should handle HIM in this situation.

First of all... it is GREAT that he is looking stuff up online and that he really... really wants to sexually please you... this sounds like a big win to me!

Suggest to him to visit "Intimate Communion Magazine" where I have posted many great articles about "how" to please a woman and give her many different types of orgasm's... here is a link to a very informative article on the subject Ruth that your husband will find very helpful...

Then he will know how to give you your first orgasm... which turns out to be way easier than either of you think), and you can both live happily ever after... yet there are two other issues here.

1) He may feel emasculated and insecure that he cannot give his woman an orgasm.

I am glad you never faked it with him... that adds a whole layer of feeling deceived that really messes with a man's emotions... to the extent that you can open a serious dialog about how much you love feeling him inside of you... and you can really demonstrate with your words and your body the deep truth of how much you enjoy sexually pleasing him... how much it moves you to see him have an orgasm when he is inside of  you... to the extent that you can do that, you will experience truly understanding him... because that is exactly the feeling he wants... to enjoy that YOUR orgasm when he is inside of you... and when you "get" that... he will feel deeply understood.

This is a sweet intimacy builder for your entire relationship.

Plus, it gives you permission to stop trying to have an orgasm and to actually allow yourself to really tune into the wonder of arousing him and leading him into orgasm with your body... when you are focused on that pleasure... rather than trying so hard to figure out your pleasure... you might just surprise yourself by accidentally having your first orgasm.

2) The other side of the insecurity issue is his deep desire to be unique and special to you... to do something to you that no other lover has ever done.

There are not too many virgins left out there in the marriage pool... and when we find the special girl of our dreams... we men still like for some special difference that will set us apart.

For him... the fact that you have not had an orgasm yet is a huge OPPORTUNITY for him to be the first.

He secretly LOVES this idea...  and his research all over the internet and his efforts are the modern analog of going out and fighting dragons for you... he wants to show you that he is the bravest knight of them all.

So when he comes back beaten down by that dragon and has not slain it yet... treat him accordingly... as the hero who has gone out to win something special for you... when you recognize him for his true... loving intentions... it will melt his insecurities and make him feel seen... received... and appreciated for the man he wants to be in your life.

Yours Sincerely

Ange Fonce

Thank you for all your GREAT QUESTIONS!

And that wraps up this issue of Intimate Communion Magazine Questions.

As ever...

Always leave a man or a woman all the better for knowing you. 

Average men and women know only the rules. 

Masculine Men and Feminine Women know and are the EXCEPTIONS!

For Love and Intimacy...

Ange Fonce

What are Your thoughts and ideas?

Use the Comments box below and "Have Your Say"... even if you disagree with me... I really appreciate it when people reply with thoughtful and helpful comments... it makes my day. 

Your Questions And Inquiries

If you would like to send me an e mail about a problem you are experiencing that I can answer... it will enable me to write a helpful response much more quickly if you keep it to a simple format... as you can imagine... I am a busy Man... so here are the guidelines...

1. Your question must be no more than 3-4 paragraphs... please.

2. Get as specific as you can... and to the point... the details help me really get a feel for your unique situation.

3. You will not abuse my trust in you... as I will not abuse your trust in me.

4. You will not send customer support emails and spam to my contact email... if you do that you will not get a response and I will probably have to stop being so open with my time and providing a FREE advice service. 

Seriously. I want to help you... and to do that I need you to respect ME and MY time as much as I respect yours... and allow 3 - 7 days for me to get back to you.

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