And welcome to Intimate Communion Magazine "Readers Questions" where I answer your questions that you send me via e mail and social sites.

I guarantee that whoever you are, you will find some amazing nuggets in my replies that will turbo-charge your courting, relationship and sex life in the answers to these questions, and much more, below.

In this issue I am asked...

I Blew it again (Amazing Question)

Mistress Lover of a Dead Man

Sexual Messages

Men Withdrawing

Facebook Questions

Now lets start with an amazing question by a lady who's name I have withheld as a "privacy" request.

So let us get on with this very "interesting" question.....

(NAME REMOVED) asks . . .
"I blew it again. I met a guy on plenty of fish. We had started talking on the phone and exchanged pics. I send nude pics and he sent some clothed pics. I am a teacher.
He lost his phone one day and I texted him and he never responded so I freaked out and sent many many texts. He freaked out and got scared. 
I apologized and he accepted my apology. I over texted again and he told me to move on. I over-texted a few times and he accepted my apology but the last time was the last straw. He said he met someone. So, I wanted to be friends and he said text me in two weeks because he needed a break from me. I blew it! I texted him within two days and he said he is done!
He said "If I text him again, he will send the nude photos to my school district. "I really like him! What do I do? How long should I wait to text him again? 
I am nervous about the threat he made. This guy does not need a dating website. He is hot. I did say somethings that may have also been mean. He told me he did not have 6 pack abs and when he dumped me, per se, I told him I was screwing a football coach with six pack abs. I wanted to hurt his feelings.... He said "If I text  him again, he will send the nude photos to my school district." I really like him!
What do I do? How long should I wait to text him again? Please help."
My Reply...

Hi ......

Thank you for writing to me and asking your question.

OK, there's a lot to cover in this one, so let us dive in chunk by chunk, issue by issue.
I am going to have to be pretty blunt here so forgive me if anything I say sounds mean... as this is a serious situation and it needs a sober response.
1. About the Naked Pictures 
Mistake number one you made was sending a man you were flirting with online (and never even met in person) naked pictures of yourself.
This was a BAD move for a couple reasons...
A. What can happen is such stuff ends Up On Facebook and the Internet. 

If you take naked pictures of yourself or make a "sex" tape or anything like that you have to assume it is going to find it's way out into the world. 

At the very least, the man you send a picture like that to is going to show it to his friends and brag about how this girl he does not even know was sending him these photos.   
It is a doubly BAD move if you have a job working for the government or a big corporation where this kind of thing can get you fired.
B. If you are looking for a man to actually date and have a relationship with you have immediately cut your legs out from under you as far as him taking you seriously as "girlfriend material."
Will a man you send a pic like that to keep talking to you? 


Will he want to meet you? 

Will he think of you as somebody he wants to have a real relationship with? 

Sending naughty pics to a man you are already courting can be fine if it is done right, and it is an awful thing to do with a man you have never even met.
And even if it is with somebody you love if you are in a position where you can get fired from your job for this sort of thing you should NEVER have your face in a naked picture you send. 

OK, so you meet a man online... you start talking... you text... you send him naked pictures... you probably have some dirty conversations with him... he gets all hot and bothered about this woman he met online... and then he does not get back to you for a day and you EXPLODE.

I have not seen any of the texts you sent him the day he left his phone at home but from the other stuff you said in your message I bet they were not to smart.
I talk about this a lot in the articles I write.

That 99% of the time when a man (or a woman) does something it has NOTHING to do with you, and If you "go nuclear" like that every time a man does not respond to you within 5 minutes you are going  to continue to only attract "dramatic" types. 
If I was in this man's shoes, by the way I would have walked away very, very quickly, would probably take down my profile and would be having scary "Single White Female" themed dreams.
3. The THREAT.
He is threatening to send your naked pictures to your school district.
This could be an empty threat.
It could be a serious threat.
And either way I promise you right now that it is NOT a game he is playing to keep you interested.
He sincerely does not want to talk to you and is probably a little bit scared of you... and he is totally justified in feeling that way. 
4. You "Really Like Him" 
You do?
Do you even know him? 

You have never met him before... you have never spent any time with him and you sent him a message saying you were screwing a football coach with six pack abs.
Personally, that is not the kind of thing I say to people I really like.
You may be infatuated with him.
You may have built up some fantasies around him that have nothing to do with who the man actually is (we all do that during those first moments.)
Yet, I do not think you actually like him.
And finally, your real question...
5. How long should you wait to text him again and what should you say.
Let me say this really plainly...
You must never text him again.
And by never... I mean never.
You must lose his phone number, lick your wounds, take stock of what you did wrong in this situation and do your best to move on and not overreact in such a dramatic way with the next man you talk to. 
Any man who actually comes back to a woman he has never even met in this kind of situation has "Emotional Masochist" written all over him (or he is just coming around to use you for sex.)
Disagree with me if you want, and I get the feeling this is a pattern you have fallen into with man and it is one you DEFINITELY need to break as soon as possible.

If you want "help" with how to really "attract" men and know "how" to relate to men than please do contact me.

And I will work with you.

Yours Sincerely

Ange Fonce

Now I am asked delicate and very interesting question about morning a lover when you are his Mistress.

Michelle asks me...

"If you were having a relationship with a man (divorced) he suddenly dies and his grown children ex wife have no idea who you are... but you know all about them. how do you handle it...he died on Wednesday the love of my  life. My soulmate."

Me Reply...
Hi Michelle,

Thank you for writing to me and your message.
Your question reminds me of what happened when my own father died.
If you have read some of my past articles you will know my parents hated each other (they are my inspiration in so many ways for the work I do... nobody should scream at each other and beat each other up as much as they did) and when my father died they had been through a vicious divorce.
I remember at the funeral locking eyes with a woman I had never seen before... she was late 50's (like my dad.) 

Slim... pretty.
Her eyes were red and puffy... she looked broken, like a puzzle missing a piece.
I found out later she was my Dad's girlfriend.
That she and my father had been seeing for about a year and really seemed to like each other. 
That she was a big part of his life... somebody who was there for him as he before his heart stopped. 
That she probably knew him better than I did at the end.
So Michelle, I feel for you. 
And I am sorry to say you are probably going to have to go through this alone.
No matter what you and this man had, you are going to be seen as an outsider to the family in their time of grieving. 
Mourn your man... talk about  him to your friends... get the support you need from people you know... think
of the family when you need to, and do not go to them. 

There will be lots of raw feelings around.

I know there was when my father died.

I do run an on-line service if you feel you would like to talk and express your feelings and grief.

Big hugs.

Yours Sincerely 

Ange Fonce

Next Question and Huma asks... 

"Dear Ange,
What should I do if my boyfriend only texts me sexual messages all day and doesn't want to talk about anything else? 
Is that normal?
I have a long distance relationship."
My Reply...

Hi Huma,

Thank you for you message and writing to me,
"Normal" is such a strange word. 
Long distance relationships are always tough, and the fact that he is sending you sexual messages is actually a good sign since it shows that he is sexually fixated on YOU (instead of that barista with the tongue ring.)
The last thing you want to do is kill the sexual spark you two are sharing.
So what I would suggest is that you tease the living daylights out of him.
Let him send you sexual stuff... even respond to some of it. 
And other times hit him back with a tease...
"Tell me the three most important things that happened today and I'll have a surprise for you."
Or send him "Bait Questions"...
"If I were a genie and could grant you three wishes, what would they be?" (Yes, he will probably go sexual with this... and that is OK.)
Play... flirt back... get creative yourself... or the man will lose interest in you and you can mix the so called "normal" talk in with it.

Yours Sincerely

Ange Fonce

And for the final e mail question were Eva ask's me...

"Hi Ange

I came across your website and was wondering if you could clear up some confusion I am having over a couple of your articles.

From my understanding, you've mentioned that we should expect a man to pull away after a close bonding session in order to recharge and that is a normal process. However, you've also written that a woman's job is not to accept poor behavior and to walk away.

So how do we know when a guy's "normal" hot and cold behavior has crossed over to being totally unacceptable and deserving of our walking away? Just trying to figure out where the balance is.

Thank you"

My Reply...

Hi Eva,

Thank you for you message and writing to me.

In answer to your question...

In any from of relationship there is a natural cycle of being close together then pulling away to come back together. 

Many people make the mistake of taking this natural flow, as there being something wrong in the relationship.

Both men and women go through this cycle.

However there is a big difference when it comes to bad behaviour and dis-respect... and at the bad end end of things... outright abuse!

With the men and women I work with I teach both sexes the warning signs (Red Flags) to look for when courting.

For instance... if I am courting a woman and she consistently turns up late and does not make the effort to inform me she is going to be late... is flaky, evasive and always making excesses... these are not good signs to me... and I would be unlikely to pursue building an intimate relationship with such a woman... if she acts and behaves this way when courting... what is she going to be like in a relationship?

Unfortunately many women let such things slide because they find the man cute... only to find out later on when they are emotionally committed to the man that he is lazy and never does the things he says he is going to do... and he constantly lie's.

And possibly worse.

It is not a great thing to say... yet the vast majority of women I have meet both personally and professionally have all suffered abuse in some way.... and some men too.

There are ways you can spot a toxic personality and courting is the place not only to get and meet people, it is also the place to weed out those people and walk away.

Saving yourself a lot of wasted time, pain and hurt later on.

It is a big myth women have that if they love a man enough they can change him.

Sorry that only happens in romance novels and Hollywood.

A man will ot change unless he wants to change... same goes for women too.

I have coached many abused and battered women over the years who got into a relationship with an abusive man. 

And visa versa... there are abusive women too.

So that is why I say at the sign of any of any bad and abusive behaviour... walk away and save yourself a lot of pain, you will not change such a personality.

They need professional help.

And there are more fish in the sea.

So yes there is a clear distinction between the natural ebb and flow of a relationship... and abusive behaviour.

Thank you Eva.

A good question.

Please write to me again if you have any more questions.

Yours Sincerely

Ange Fonce

And now onto to some "Facebook" questions...

Question 1:..

Melody asks:
"If you found out before your spouse told you that they were gay, would you say something or would you keep quiet?"

My Answer...

Hi Melody, 

Thank you for writing to me and asking your question.
Say something... say something SOON and say something with as much love and as little bitterness as you can muster.
Listen... you are in a difficult situation and your spouse is too.
You are in a difficult situation because you are married to someone who is not able to (and is never going to be able to) love you the way you want and deserve to be loved.
And your spouse is in a difficult situation because they are denying who they truly are.
I understand why gay men and women make the mistake of falling into a straight marriage.
You spend your whole adolescence being told there is something "wrong" with you, that you are not normal and (in some cases) that you are going to go to hell because of the desires you have.
So you do everything you can to "fix" the problem.
So here is what I recommend...

Let your tears out... cry your cries... rage your rages... rant about the "mistake" you made.
And then sit down with your spouse, tell them how you found out and have a conversation about where to go from here.
Keep in touch and let me know how things work out for you

Yours sincerely 

Ange Fonce

Question 2... 
R asks:
"Ange, I'm currently in quite an abusive relationship. I know I need to get out. My ex from over two years ago, who I never really got over has been texting me again and has even offered to help me in some way. 
The conversations with him have been through FB inboxing. However, he is also just starting to date someone. I know I ultimately want to be with him. What should I do?"
My Answer...

Hi R,

Thank you for writing to me and asking you question.

Take the help from your ex, and do not read more into it than is there.
It is really easy to think your ex is going to be your "Knight In Shining Armour" and come sweep you away from the man you are with now.
It sounds to me like he is a good man who wants to help you, and is not necessarily interested in courting you.
And that is totally cool.
If he is offering you help to get out of  your current situation, you should take it with gratitude and without expectations.
This is not about who you end up with, it is about who you are with now and what you deserve. 

And you deserve a LOT better.
Call this number:
1-800-787-3224 for help from the National Domestic Violence Hotline in the USA.

Yours Sincerely

Ange Fonce

Question 3... 
Terri asks
"Ange, how do you feel about interracial marriages and relationships?"
My Answer...

Hi Terri and thank you for you question.

Personally I am all for them... the only reason to avoid interracial relationships would be to avoid pissing off bigots... and personally, I LIKE pissing off bigots... that is me!
More seriously... It is only an issue if you let it be an issue... go to any major city in the western world and you will see a whole bunch of interracial couples... it is just not that big of a deal.

Yours Sincerely

Ange Fonce
And finally a question I want YOU to help me answer...
Anonymous asks:
"If you divorced your husband and he had a son from another marriage that you met when he was an adult, would it be OK to date him?"
I have got my opinions on this one, and I really want to hear yours...

Thank you for all your GREAT QUESTIONS!

And that wraps up this issue of Intimate Communion Magazine Questions.

As ever...

Always leave a man or a woman all the better for knowing you. 

Average men and women know only the rules. 

Masculine Men and Feminine Women know and are the EXCEPTIONS!

For Love and Intimacy...

Ange Fonce

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