Intimate Communion Magazine Social Courting Relationship 
And Sex Questions Issue 24

By Ange Fonce

And welcome to this edition of The Intimate Communion Magazine Readers Questions?

In this edition... I answer questions from you about love... sex... relationships... fantasies... exploration... and worry‏... that both men... and women sent to me via e mail. 

In this issue of your “questions”... the subjects I reply to are... 

Could he really be in love already? 

She dropped the towel and he said WHAT?? 

Please tell me if I am being delusional?

We open up this issue of your questions with a very good question from Kumari... then one from "S" which is well... hmm... and to finish this edition of Readers Letters... a soul searching question from Sara

Now let us get started and read on... 

Kumari asks me...

“Hey Ange, 

I hope things are going great for you. 

I met this guy and I ended up spending three whole days with him after which he said he loved me. 

After the three days I had to move to a different city and it has been three weeks since we met in person. 

We talk regularly on the phone and he says he can't sleep at night without hearing the sound of my voice. 

He seems pretty nice so far. 

My question is this - can a guy actually fall for a woman that fast? 

I've always heard that men take time to think relationship. 

I might go back to his place and the guy says that if I do he will be with me and only me and no other girl. 

It's just so fast and I'm so confused. 

Also, should I wait for sex, and if I do then how long?  We've already been a bit physical. 

Lastly, I'm a virgin. I'm twenty-three, the guys twenty-five. 

He says that men find virgins more appealing than women who sleep around and that men respect virgins. Is this true?

Any insight on these matters would be greatly appreciated. Have great weekend and a great summer!"

With warm regards,

Kumari... India

My Reply to Kumari...

Dear Kumari,

Thank you so much for writing me... and your message.  

You asked some really great questions. 

First of all... can a man fall in love quickly?  

Sometimes people know what they want and have solid intuition about and good intentions for the people they meet.  

However a man who has trouble with finding a woman to like him could respond in the same way... could he not?   

In that scenario... he would be acting more on “desperation” that you “like” him... than anything about "love"... doing “whatever you want” in an “attempt” to keep you.   

For most women... that is a “major psychological factor” in “feeling” like they are "settling"... and “making do!” 

And let us not forget that some men out there are “unscrupulous” and will lie by saying what they “think” you want to hear in order to bed you.  

Considering you are a virgin...  you may very well spark the fantasies of men like this in exactly the way you would most want to avoid.

Here is the thing though... no matter what... 3 days is not enough to really know what kind of man this is... besides  “real love” comes from getting to know someone over a period of time.  

You can indeed have a very good feeling about someone within a short amount of time and even that really does come from having meet up with them lots and therefore knowing from experience exactly what you want from a man... and the irony is that same level of experience will ALSO tell you that both men and women should take time to think about getting into a relationship.  

Too many people let themselves fall in love too quickly with someone who is not a good match for them... my question to you is...  

"What is it about him that makes you think about him?"  

You never said that you have “feelings” for him which I found conspicuously absent given the rest of the subject matter of your message... is the fact that he said he loves you ALONE what caught your interest?

Your virginity should be special to you... when you decide to have sex for the first time it should be based on want you want... not what a man thinks or said... and yes some men will “key in on your virginity”... considering it a challenge or even a particularly satisfying sexual conquest to go after... so with that said... do not take your virginity lightly in the least. 

You are 23 years old... and if you are more comfortable waiting for the right man who has through time and action proven to you that he is committed to you... that is a solid plan.  

A respectable man will appreciate that and never pressure you...  he will understand that you want to wait for the right man and time... and by the way have you considered finding someone closer to where you live?  

As I often write in my articles for both men and women it is so much easier to get to know someone more naturally that way without letting so much water slip under the bridge... you will meet the right man as long as you do not settle for the first man who says he loves you or wants to marry you.

Have fun out there courting and meeting some great men who will honour and respect you as you deserve!

Keep in contact Kumari and let me know how you get on.

Yours Sincerely

Ange Fonce

PS. Have a read of this article where I give some great advice to women when they first meet a man...

That "SPECIAL" Chemistry You feel with a Man Is Not Love or Intimacy!

Now to the next questions where "S" shares with me a "distressing" moment for her.

S writes...
 
"Last night I was video chatting with my boyfriend of one and a half years and I was only wearing a towel.  I accidentally dropped my towel and all he said was "Eh, I see it all the time".  

What is that supposed to mean?

I'm so confused and distraught now.  We have discussed getting married but if he finds me unattractive anymore I don't know what to do. Is he getting too used to me?  

What should I do?  

I have lost sexual desire towards him in just that single comment, but it was his immediate reaction to me being fully naked and so vulnerable and it tore me to pieces."

My Reply...

Hi S,
 
Thank you for your message and for writing to me.

A few important things here...

1... His comment does not mean he does not find you attractive anymore... it does mean he is lacking in the "things you never say to a woman department"... and that is a different topic. 

2... His comment does mean that he feels like the "chase" aspect of your relationship is lacking. 

He needs to feel like he is "winning" you... like you are a “high value woman” who is desired by other man and like he is damned fortunate to have you.

Now... whether you ARE high value is actually immaterial... and his comment means he is kind of "settled in" a bit and you are going to have to do some work to get that spark going again. 

Especially if you plan on getting married.

3... I say this a lot... and his comment did not tear you to pieces... he made a comment... YOU felt torn to pieces... by saying he tore you to pieces you are making him the "villain" of the piece  and he is not... AND you are giving him a level of power over you as a person that he should not have to shoulder.

Do not measure your self "S" by his comment... and make him "chase" you. 

It happens to often in relationships where two partners become "comfortable" with each other and the spark of "seduction" dies.

And I have to be honest with you "S" if a simple comment likes this can shatter your personal esteem... how are you going to handle marriage?

I suggest the Woman has some "thinking" to do.

Yours Sincerely

Ange Fonce


Shara asks me her question... 

"Hi Ange,

I have been a fan of your articles and advice for a while now.

I would love to ask your advice about my boyfriend.

I have been in a relationship  (starting online) with him for 8 months. He lives in another country right now. He says he is separated, however, he still lives with his wife. He says  until his youngest (14 ) is 18 and adult, he wont leave the family. He promises me he has no relations (sexual) with his wife. He says he sleeps on the couch or in a spare room. I'm not so sure.

Is this really possible and his kids 'dont know'? He says he is always up before them.

We see each other every 5 weeks. I fly to him or he to me. He intends to relocate to my country for a year at least in August. He was born where I live and wants to come home.  He will be moving in with me. I am so excited.

I was married 30 years and my husband left me 5 times for another. I was devastated, and a 'basket-case' I  couldn't take it any more. I left the family home and we divorced. Ange, I do not want to do to another family what was done to mine. To say I am naive? 

Well I was, I had only really known one man. Now I am  a bit more savvy vis a vis men and their weltanschauung. Sexually I have become very savvy  as he has taught me stuff I could only dream about. Wow.

My children (28, 22 and 17) are very angry, disappointed and even disgusted that I am having this relationship.

My boyfriend tells me that only I know the truth about us, how he feels for me and I am in no way the  reason for the breakdown of his marriage.

He even tried to talk to my son. I  am in fact the third woman he has had relations with, since he 'left' his  wife 3 years ago. And before he married he was a man of the world.

I have such very strong feelings for him. I know I have fallen in love with him: his personality, his mind, his body (especially) I do want to enjoy my life with him. We have an amazing time together, he tells me how much I mean to him, that he loves  me, really loves me. 

Am I being blinded by sweet nothings?

Its incredible  that for an intelligent person I am so utterly bewildered by my lack of  sense, foresight and even intuition.

Since entering the singles jungle I have realized what a new world we live in. I have met people who really are living in marriages that are over. But they are still there.

Please tell me if I am being delusional.

I have tried to gently probe this question and the reply is 'please wait, be  patient.'

So I wait.....

Kindest regards,"

Sara"....Germany

My Reply...

Hi Sara,

Thank you for writing to me and your message

There is a quote out there that says... "Love makes idiots of us all."

Now... are you an idiot?

I do not think so... I think you are a woman who spent a long time with a man who did not appreciate her... that you have had a simmering desire under the surface for a very long time... and that you finally met a man who understands how to really turn a woman on  . . . 

I also think you are in an awful situation here that could very easily blow up in your face.

A few things:

1... His children undoubtedly know... my own father was a bit of a womaniser himself... my brother and sister figured it out at an early age.

It also set an example for us that neither Chris my brother or I could shake until well after my father had passed away.

2... There is no fairy tale ending here... there is no version of this story where you and this man ride off happily into the sunset.

Does he love you... possibly? 

And even if he does leave his family in 4 LONG years... that love may well have faded by then... and it is even more possible that he will get bored in a relationship with you and have his eye wander again.

Now... I am not saying this man is some horrible human being... yet he is also most likely not capable of giving you the committed relationship you seem to want.

Do you really want to spend 4 years pining for this man?

Especially when there are so many other available men out there in the world?

Are you not worth a lot more than this?

Have a think about the questions I have asked you Sara and get back to me.

Yours Sincerely

Ange Fonce

And that wraps up this issue of The Intimate Communion Magazine Readers Questions... thank you for all your GREAT QUESTIONS!

Always leave a man or a woman all the better for knowing you. 

Average men and women know only the rules. 

Masculine Men and Feminine Women know and are the EXCEPTIONS!

And are DYNAMIC lovers.

For Love and Intimacy...





Ange is an  Author.. Speaker... and International Peak Performance Personal Development Consultant and Psycho Dynamic Counselling Psychologist who works with men... and women who desire to "evolve" and "transform" themselves to become Dynamic Lifers from around the World!


Your Questions And Inquiries...

If you would like to send me an e mail about a problem you are experiencing that I can answer... it will enable me to write a helpful response much more quickly if you keep it to a simple format... as you can imagine... I am a busy Man... so here are the guidelines...

1... Your question must be no more than 3... 4 paragraphs... please.

2... Get as specific as you can... and to the point... the details help me really get a feel for your unique situation.

3... You will not abuse my trust in you... as I will not abuse your trust in me.

4... You will not send customer support emails and spam to my contact email... if you do that you will not get a response and I will probably have to stop being so open with my time and providing a FREE advice service. 

Seriously... I want to help you... and to do that I need you to respect my time as much as I respect yours... and allow 2... 4 days for me to get back to you.





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