How To Unlock Her Inner Sexual Bad Girl‏ 

By Ange Fonce

Please Be Aware That This Article Contains Content Of An Intimate Nature

If you are a man reading this article... tell me if this sounds familiar to you and if you are a woman... maybe this is you?

Imagine your girlfriend stepping out of the shower and she looks beautiful and she catches you looking at her just enjoying the sight of her body and she gets insecure and quickly puts a towel over herself.

When you are sexing and she is getting closer and closer to cumming and just as she seems about to lose control and have the orgasm of her life... she clenches her legs around you and stops you from making her cum.

You have heard about a great way to drive to your woman wild when you go down on her and when you want to try it out... she gets shy and tells you she does not want you "going down there"...

And because any of a hundred other little things that women sometimes do that show that she is not as sexually comfortable and open as you would like her to be.

First of all... if you are nodding your head off your shoulders right now agreeing with me... first let me tell you.... no I am not psychic... because it turns out that these situations are extremely common... in fact I receive emails from men asking about these EXACT situations all the time.

"My girl tells me to stop when she's about to come..."

"Why won't she let me give her oral sex?..."

"How do I bring up anal sex..."

"I want to her wear a sexy outfit in bed..."

"I want to try giving her multiple orgasm but she..."

"I really want to try coming in her mouth, but she thinks it's disgusting..."

You get the idea.

Rather than write a article on each one of these issues... I have decided to deal with the more general issue here... there are things that you want her to do with you in sexing and for one reason or another... she is either not interested or very strongly against doing it.

Now sometimes these are things that you want her to do for YOUR own pleasure... things that particularly turn you on and since she is the woman you are with... perhaps even the only woman you ever intend to be with again if you are married... you want HER to be the one you explore these things with. 

I am talking about things like anal sexing... having her swallow your semen after giving you oral sexing... letting you take pictures of her nude or fulfilling some other fantasy of yours... etc.

Or sometimes the issue is your desire to please HER... in this case I am talking about things like letting you go down on her or just being able to surrender enough to really enjoy herself... and yes there are many women who can be very shy about these things and have a lot of difficulty allowing a man... even a man they love to do these things with them.

The thing that can be so difficult for men in these situations is that when this happens it feels like a very personal REJECTION and part of the reason is that it is so different from what you always HEAR about women in the media.
If you have watched "Sex In the City" or read any womens magazines you would get the idea that every woman just wants more oral sex and they are all just searching for a man with a marathon tongue.

And then you find yourself courting a woman who is very shy about her body or does not like it when you go down on her or gets uncomfortable when you start giving her too much pleasure... I once had a lover like that... at first she just could not handle the intense feelings of experiencing an orgasm... she took a lot of gentle coaching and when she did finally let go and screamed... I felt so wonderful for her.

And if you are experiencing problems like this... well it turns out that there is nothing wrong with you and not only that... there is nothing wrong with HER either... there are many reasons that some women feel awkward about sexing... ranging from simple harmless stuff to very complicated and psychologically damaging events from her past.

The first and most obvious thing to look at is a womans own self image... does she think of herself as good girl or a wild girl and what kind of sexual morals did she grow up with?

Sex is not like any other subject and it is not like any other part of our personalities... it is much more complex... nobody ever gets judged or made fun of or is socially rejected because they like chocolate ice cream or because they are an early riser or because they play tennis.

There is social pressures... like girls grow up hearing that if they like sexing too much then they are sluts... there are religious pressures because if you have certain kinds of sexing you can go to hell... there are relationship pressures like if you do not sleep with me I will break up with you and gentlemen if you use that kind of emotional blackmail on a woman... you SUCK... that is "loser boy" stuff.

And also there are incredibly powerful and confusing biological pressures playing on a womans mind... she has powerful sexual urges and wants sexing just the same way that we men do and also she has a powerful instinct to be very careful about who she has sexing with because she is biologically wired with the instincts to not want quick and easy sexing entanglements that can leave her pregnant and alone.

All of these things mix into a great big confusing soup of emotions in a womans head as she grows into her sexual identity... hey it is hard enough becoming comfortable with your sexual identity as a man and for women it can be a 100 times more complicated and through all of this confusing emotional soup she forms a sexual identity for herself and a strategy for facing the world and the constant pressure from men who want to have sexing with her.

Every woman has to set certain limits... you have to understand that and that is especially more so for an attractive woman as there is no way that she can possibly have sexing with every man that wants to have sexing with her... she would never get off her back!

So very early in life she begins to draw boundaries and rules for herself... 

"I'll do this... but I won't do that."

Later in life even after she is living with a man that she loves even after she is married... it might not be so easy for her to let go of these boundaries that have protected her since she was old enough to notice men looking at her... which usually happens WAY before she is ready to deal with it.

Unfortunately for some women that also includes enjoying sexing... they grew up fearful of their own lust... afraid if they fully gave in to sexual pleasure they would never be able to stop... they would become addicted like a cocaine addict... is this fear rational?

No not really.

And for women that have this fear wired into them and in their own mind it is much more subtle than this... it is left over from a time when they were much younger and their sexing urges were more confusing and inappropriate... so somewhere along the line they made a rule about not having so much pleasure from sexing that they would lose control.

This may lead them to have trouble having orgasms or it may lead them to stop you before they cum even though they may orgasm when they are masturbating... it can even lead them to feel ashamed of their bodies.

The second reason that a woman may be uncomfortable with certain aspects of sexing is not her self image... instead it is the image she wants to project to YOU... again this is society... religion and upbringing that have probably left her with all sorts of programming that she is not even aware of and this is also why it is possible that she was more sexually open and experimental with other men before you... men she did not like anywhere near as much as she likes you... it is BECAUSE she feels such strong emotions with you that she does not want you to think that she is "easy" or "dirty" or "too sexual."

She has grown up knowing that this behaviour is fine for men who want an easy lay and if you want a man to take you seriously and consider you "marriage material" then you have to be more sexually restrained... this is more than just playing "hard to get."

It is not necessarily a conscious decision... it is an emotional feeling she has whenever she is with you because she values you so highly... because she is afraid of losing you and she finds it hard to really just let go and be her full sexing self.

Or even just a persona or identity that she chose for herself of being "The Good Girl" a persona that she may have started acting inside of before she even hit puberty and knew what she would be giving up!

By the way a LOT of men have the same problem in reverse... especially after they get married... even more especially after they have children... it is very hard for them to see the mother of their children as their wild sexing partner any more.

And usually the most difficult reason that women have for these issues is that they were the victim of some sort of childhood sexual abuse... the unfortunate fact is that this is much more common than most men realize... I KNOW from my own work as a Counselling Psychologist and Sex Therapist... of the women I have worked with... that 1 in 4 women were sexually abused in some way as children... that is HIGH gentlemen... Sexual Abuse is more prevalent then you realize.

Bottom Line...

There are a lot of very complex things going on when you ask a woman to push past her normal limits of sexual comfort and want her to be a little more wild... first of all you must come to grips with this absolute fact... 

You Cannot Talk Her Into It...

And you cannot make any kind of rational or logical argument that will make her realize that really she should be willing swallow or she should want you to go down on her... the issue you are dealing with is an EMOTIONAL one and you will never be able to get around it with a LOGICAL answer... it will only get her upset or worse... it is a recipe for hurting her feelings... starting fights or hurting your relationship.

Now when I say that you cannot talk her into it or make a rational argument that does not mean that you cannot be honest about YOUR feelings... if there is something that you want her to do for you sexually you should tell her that you are willing to please her because you feel very intimate with her and that you do not think you are wrong to expect her to want to please you too.

And here is the IMPORTANT bit... DO NOT PUT ANY PRESSURE ON HER to comply with your desire... pressure equals no sexing or at best bad sexing.

Let her know that SHE is the most important thing and that you will be patient if necessary until she becomes comfortable enough... now here is the second IMPORTANT bit...

Do Not Fail The Tests She Is About To Throw At You...

There is an 100% certainty that when you tell her you want something that she is not giving you... she is going to begin testing you.

Testing is something that all women do to men that they care about... they do not do it on purpose... it is an instinctively formed trait that helps them determine if you really love them or if you are just trying to get them into bed... you must wonder why after 10 years of marriage... she must still test you and she will and does... the wiring is just built that way!

So you can expect her to say things like...

“Well maybe you should break up with me and get back together with one of your old girlfriends that would love to do that kind of thing for you!"

There are a thousand variations of this test and I think you know what I am talking about.

The proper response is... DO NOT TAKE THE BAIT and let her start a fight over this... to pass her test you should smile as if the test is no big deal to you... kiss her on the head or shake her playfully by the shoulders and say... 

"Don't be silly... you know I only love you."

Repeat this as many times as is necessary until she quits throwing the test... this will be hard... she may sucker you into a fight... trust me I have failed this one too and I am experienced with women... and I will tell you the quickest way to get her past these issues is to pass the test and NOT get suckered into a fight... the next step is to... 

Get Her On The Same Team...

As long as it is "you want A" and "she wants B" nothing good is going to happen.

Once you have let her know what you want from her and let her know that no matter how she tests you... you are going to stay calm... happy and in love with her... the next step is to get onto the same team.

You will say something like... 

"Okay now that we know you have an issue with this and we both respect your feelings about it... how are we going to WORK TOGETHER as a couple so we both feel good and get what we want?"

Shut up and listen for a little while... she will probably give you some subtle hints about EXACTLY what she needs for you to get what you want... repeat it back to her if you are confused and keep repeating it back until you get it right... this may be a bit frustrating at first because well you know... women speak a very different language.

Also at this point she may test you again by saying... 


And if you tell her that this answer is disappointing and that you want to WORK TOGETHER as a couple to get past it she may test you yet again...

"Go find some slut that likes that kind of thing!"

And again you must gracefully pass her tests.

Note that the title of this email is "how to unlock her inner sexual bad girl" and not "how to EASILY get what you want."

Finally... remember that bringing it up all the time is the same as pressuring her... relax... try for it gently now and then... not too often...  be calm... patient and loving... if the relationship is not that important... you may have to consider that you two are not that sexually compatible and that you should move on and if this is your wife we are talking about or a woman that you are in love with... just keep being patient and passing the tests.

When she is ABSOLUTELY SURE that SHE is more important than the SEX thing that you want... she will not only give in or at least start working on the same team with you to get past her stuff... because there is a good chance that she is going to really ENJOY it... she is going to feel like she is being a "good girl" by pleasing her man.

In fact if you follow this plan... you may well be shocked by just how far a woman will change her sexing appetites... because not only does she get the chance to reward you for holding your Masculine space during her tests... she also gets to enjoy more sexing pleasure... more sexual freedom and probably even act out some secret fantasies that she never thought would ever come true for her... when that happens it begins to snowball... so you better be prepared for getting more than you thought you wanted and match your new found sexing woman! 

There is a term in golf that says... 

"You have to play the ball where it lies." 

Meaning... you cannot always choose your shot... where ever you find the ball that is where you have to hit it... it is the same with relationships... you have to accept her for who she is FIRST... once you accept her as she is without expecting her to change and love her anyway... you will find that change is easier for both of you.

This is really the most important way for you to deal with these issues... I have many more technique based ways of dealing with issues of sexual trust and while I recommend all of them... in the end this is the one that is most important to understand... because it is not just sexing advice... it is relationship advice that builds openness... trust and INTIMACY!

I recommend you understand these fundamentals FIRST and then when you are ready you can deal with building sexual trust by learning and understanding that will let you tune into her sexing blueprint.

Dedicating yourself to improving your sexing life... your sexual communication and your relationship skills with your woman is the single best way that I know to make your entire life more balanced and happy.


Because so much of our personality... our personal confidence and esteem... all stems from our sexual happiness and sexing confidence and knowing that our personal life is completely handled in this way allows us to exude more confidence and skill in every other aspect of our life.

I wrote this article on this subject because readers like you asked me to... now what other subjects would you like me to talk about in these articles?

I want to make the Intimate Communion Magazine along with The Tribe of Dynamic Lifers The DYNAMIC Express Magazine a great resource that is useful for YOUR life... obviously not every topic I cover is going to speak to something that YOU want to know and when you keep reading... I know that some of them can help you.

And the best way for you to get that life changing information is to tell me what you want to hear and would like to learn about.

Thank you and may you enjoy a Prosperous and Dynamic day!

Yours Sincerely

Intellectual Badass... noun

1... A person with a penchant for Science... creativity... books... writing... communication... fitness... women... sexing... sexuality... human relationships... psychology... physiology and any other area involving heavy use of the Intellect.

2... A bright kick arse person and glamorously Intelligent!

3... Ange is an Author... Speaker and Dynamic Peak Performance Personal Development Consultant and Humanistic Counselling Psychologist and Sexologist... who works with those men and women who desire to personally develop themselves and their relationships to become Dynamic Lifers... creators of their own life... relationships and wealth! 

To Speak to Ange and arrange a consultation for any problems you would like help with CLICK HERE

"Transformation happens when people fall in love with a different version of themselves and their future!"

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