How To Inspire Your Man To Passion In 3 Easy Steps.

You want him to be passionate.  
 
You want a man who is on his course and who knows what he wants, and knows he wants YOU.
 
You want to be ravaged, and tenderly held, and to be the object of his ravenous desire.
 
Also, along the way, you probably want a deep and trusting and loving relationship.
 
And the good news is that the best way to get his PASSION also turns out to be the best way to build that trusting and loving relationship.
 
Here's the dilemma as one woman describes it:
  
"Hi Ange,
 
I'm one of your subscribers and I read all your articles. What you say is spot on and I'm grateful to you for bringing this vital topic.
However, I have a question and would appreciate your advice. My question is: I'm one of those rare examples of a woman who's passionate lover and values passionate sex and passionate life. Where I need some help is to figure it out how to help a man to lead him into passionate life/sex so it doesn't feel like taking the lead and doesn't undermine his self-esteem?
I'd be more than happy if you can elaborate on that as there might be more women like me who can benefit from your feedback, and you can help many women and turn them into happy, passionate lovers."
 
Many thanks.

Best wishes

Samantha...London UK
 
The central crux of the problem is, "so it doesn't feel like taking the lead and doesn't undermine his self esteem..."
 
And I might add (as HE would), making him feel nagged, un-appreciated, wrong all the time, never good enough, and generally frustrated.
 
Look, I'd be dramatically over-generalizing if I said that all men hate it when you try to explain to them how they ought to be doing things.
 
But I'm going go ahead and over-generalize anyway, and tell you that we men hate it when you tell us what to do or explain things to us... 
 
EVEN WHEN you're right, smart, perfectly logical, and totally SWEET and COMPASSIONATE about it.
 
And it seems unfair because we welcome straight shooting communication from other men.
 
But from our woman it comes across as a masculine way to communicate - which is uncomfortable if you happen to be our lover.
 
The thing that draws forth your man's masculine energy (that sexy attitude he gets when he growls in your ear and sweeps you into his arms), is YOUR feminine energy (that irresistible thing you do when you bite your lip, play with your hair, and giggle shyly at our jokes).
 
So look, if you want your man to be PASSIONATE, (or even if you just want him to take out the trash)...
 
Don't TELL HIM or EXPLAIN IT to him...
 
INSPIRE HIM.
 
Yes, it is less direct, but it's EASY, it gets REAL RESULTS... and when you start doing it, you will learn to LOVE inspiring him because it's FUN for  women to express themselves in this natively feminine way.
 
To be clear, I am totally into equal pay for equal work and all that stuff.  
 
I say, be a kick-ass warrior at work if you want that... AND STILL GET TO BE A soft, pretty, feminine creature in the arms of your man.
 
You just need to get good at making the transition.
 
You can be your man's equal or even take the lead when you guys are balancing the check-books if you're the one with money-sense, and still be soft and yielding and overcome with mad, clawing desire while he takes you up in his arms and pins you the wall and...
 
Ha... I'll just be a tease and let you fill in the rest.
 
THE SIMPLE 3-STEP FORMULA FOR DOING IT
 
1) Be mindful, intentional, and self-responsible for doing whatever it takes to make a CLEAN BREAK from being his partner into being his lover.
 
Understand that all humans are highly complex creatures who wear many "identity" hats...

You might be wife, lover, mother, daughter, lawyer, bargain hunter, art connoisseur, and dance music diva.  And it would be a mistake to imagine that you are the same person doing all of these things.  
 
In the example above, a woman who is a lawyer does not bring her lawyer personality to her mothering when baby has a boo-boo.
 
Transitioning from partner to lover is a more difficult shift because it involves the same person that you are interacting with your man.
 
Don't wait for the shift to be automatic.  Don't throw it on him all the time to seduce and coax it out of you (though, the more you make this shift obvious, the more he'll learn what it takes to draw if from you).
 
If necessary, create a ritual around it.  
 
It could be as simple as taking 3 slow breaths while imagining yourself standing naked in a field of flowers with a soft, spring-time rain falling on your skin.  Or it could be as complex as taking a bath with scented candles, the right music, and a book of poetry.
 
My point is:  Don't leave this to chance. Be aware of it, and be self-responsible for doing the effort of making the transition.
 
2) INSPIRE instead of demanding his masculine,passionate sexiness.
 
I'm going to assert that the biggest nerd, brain-on-a-stick, logical guy on Earth can be inspired to find his heart-pounding, flesh-and-blood, masculine, inner sex-god if you learn to be his muse in this way.
 
And the first step to doing this is SEEING it in him.
 
See him big.  See his greatness even when he can't.  Snuggle up to him AS IF he was already that man.
 
Even if this part of him is so deeply buried by a lifetime of having it pounded down by school teachers, religious guilt, or over-protective parents, that even HE can't see it... it's your work to FIND IT in there.
 
When you can see it clearly, talk directly to that part of him.  Physically respond to that part that you know is in there.
 
HINT: If you've done step 1 above, you'll know just how to do this.
 
HINT: If it's not fun for you, you're probably doing it wrong.  Return to Step 1 and start over.
 
HINT:  This is generally much more about how you TOUCH than how you talk.
 
3) INSPIRE HIM (Part 2) by seeing his present perfection.
 
Humans are inherently flawed creatures.  We are imperfect by nature.  It is impossible for a human to be right all the time, good all the time, or anything even resembling consistent in any way all the time.
 
Therefore: Imperfection is the perfect state of being a human.
 
If he were perfect, you'd be an insecure basket case because you'd be aware of how imperfect you are, and how you can't possibly measure up, how when someone is wrong it's ALWAYS you, and you'd either lose him or sabotage it.
 
In other words... you don't WANT a perfect guy!
 
Cherish his weaknesses, his imperfections, and his struggles as the charming things that make him perfect for you.
 
So, yes, this might require some mental brain-washing.  Yet if you keep returning to this in the area of sex and relationship than you begin to find ways to take his flaws and "work them in" to creative ways of enjoying each other.
 
This will make him FEEL LIKE A MAN.
 
More than that, he will begin to notice that he particularly feels like a man when you happen to around.
 
What you'll GET in return is a man who deeply appreciates you, considers himself lucky every day, and who genuinely feels INSPIRED to powerfully respond to Step 1 and Step 2 above.
 
He's going to LOVE this feminine and inspiring version of you and he's going to begin to notice the things that AMPLIFY this sexy energy in you.
 
Pretty soon, he'll be doing the work (or at least half of it) to get both of you into that passionate, male-female polarity.
 
This doesn't work INSTANTLY.  But it DOES WORK.
 
And it is the most enjoyable, fulfilling, and loving way to create a sexual relationship that is passionate, understanding, fully expressed,and leads to lasting "Intimacy."

I just gave you EVERYTHING you need to have the best romantic relationship possible. Seriously. You'll never need anything else.
 
That said, you can get more special details and specifics by getting personal coaching (hint, hint).

And practically speaking, that completes my conversation for this article.

What are Your thoughts and ideas?

 "Use the Comments box below and "Have Your Say" (even if you disagree with me).  I really appreciate it when people reply with thoughtful comments. Honestly, it makes my day. Either way I will be glad to hear from you."

And as ever...Always leave a man or a woman all the better for knowing you. Average men and women know only the rules. Masculine Men and Feminine Women know and are the EXCEPTIONS!

For Love, Truth and Intimacy...

Ange Fonce

RECOMMENDED FURTHER READING...


The 10 Big "TURN OFF" Mistakes Women Make With Men In The Bedroom 

Are YOU the ONE "Killing" your Man's Sex Drive? Some Great Tips to "Help" You Increase His Sexual Libido in the Bedroom!

How To Use Dirty Talk In Bed And "FIRE" Up Your Man

Do You Know The Top 7 Techniques For Blowing His Mind With Your Mouth?

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