How To Handle A Breakup With Your Man

And Avoid In Damaging Your Esteem

By Ange Fonce

Ladies this may come as a shock to you...

Did you know that a man will LEAVE a woman he LOVES if he is not feeling a certain kind of attraction for her?

That is right a man can feel that he cares about you and even wants more than anything to remain your FRIEND and if he is not feeling a very specific kind of emotional attraction and connection with you... he is not going to feel IN LOVE with you.

He might tell you that he thinks you are not really compatible or that he is not ready for anything serious or any number of excuses and the TRUTH is that he is just not FEELING what it is he needs to feel to know your relationship is right for him any more.

Have you ever broken up with a man and spent weeks... months or even YEARS daydreaming about the day he would call to say he made a MISTAKE?

That you are the ONE WOMAN for him after all and that he wants you back in his life... forever?

Have you ever been haunted by a man in you dreams causing you to feel in a fog the entire next day about him?

Have you cried and despaired over a breakup because you felt like you would NEVER find a man who UNDERSTOOD and LOVED you the way that one special man did?

Do you torture yourself with daydreams about him coming back to you and asking you for a real commitment this time... daydreams that feel cruel in comparison to what the REALITY is?

Keep reading and I am going to share with you the tried and true way for getting over your breakup in a healthy way.

Here goes...

What Breakups Do To You

A break up can be a really painful time in your life.

And if you are like lots of women you have a certain PATTERN that you go through after a break up... you feel things a certain way and you do certain things to make yourself feel better and it is okay to want to avoid PAIN and feel better and the problem that is holding you back from getting to a better place with the break up and within yourself is not with wanting to avoid pain. 

The problem is that you often do things that you THINK will lessen the pain you are feeling and these actions actually INCREASE the PAIN you are feeling in the long run! 

Break ups are one of the areas where I find women doing this to themselves over and over... running into the same painful situations and you not being able to make a change until it is forced upon you.

Let us put an end to that...

Dismantling Your Breakup Pattern

What I have found in talking to many women who work with me or write me or who just approach me for advice... is that most women tend to make the SAME MISTAKES after a break up that keeps them STUCK.

You may have noticed this in your girlfriends as it is much easier to see these kinds of patterns in other people around you and these mistakes keep these women stuck in destructive... demeaning or GO NOWHERE relationships for months or even YEARS.

These mistakes can be the reason you keep picking the wrong men over and over and they can be the reason you keep feeling hurt and rejected all the time by a man who just will not commit or will not love you or will not let you go either.

So if you are feeling like you have been in and out of relationships and that NOTHING seems to be changing or improving in the QUALITY of your relationships... listen up.

Here are the 3 most common mistakes you need to avoid after a break up...


Staying in touch with your ex

I hear from women all the time who do this and I almost do not blame them really... your man tells you it is over or you get into a fight or he says that he just cannot see himself in a long term relationship with you... for all intents and purposes you know that the relationship is over.

At least you feel that way for a day or two and then something happens... he texts you or calls or emails.

At first he is just being friendly and asking if you are okay... maybe you get together with him for coffee and talk about how your friendship is too important to just throw away... you talk about how you want each other in your life in some way... he may even tell you things like he still loves you or thinks you are special or that he cares... sure he thinks you are a great woman and he would love to have you in his life in SOME WAY in order to boost his ego and lessen his OWN discomfort about the break up. 

So it goes and pretty soon he is calling you all the time and you are calling him... you know you should probably not stay in contact and you almost cannot help yourself from responding to his texts or answering the phone when you know it is him and you get your HOPES UP that all that contact means he is getting closer to wanting you back.

That there is a chance you can have things back to the way they used to be... right?


Staying connected with a man who does not want a committed relationship with you when you do only PROLONGS your pain. 

Each time he reminds you that he is not ready or has not changed his mind is just you getting your heart broken again and again... you need to step in and take control. 

Because this is not getting you closer to moving on and actually making the space and time in your life to find a man who TRULY loves you and wants to have a real relationship with you... it just keeps you dangerously STUCK in a place where your personal confidence and esteem actually falls apart each time you talk... text... sleep with or daydream about your ex boyfriend. 

So cut all ties... it will feel like it is the more painful way to go about it and only at first. 

Because it actually SAVES YOU in the long run from weeks or months of more pain and frustration.



Thinking you are a failure at love or somehow unlovable

How many times have you wondered if the reason you cannot find a good man to want to have a real... devoted and honest relationship with you is because there is something wrong with YOU?

You wonder if you are just a FAILURE at love or if maybe you are not attractive enough or if maybe you are undesirable... it is just not true!

Because break ups are simply a part of your lifes journey and it is a way for you to learn what you need to learn about WHO YOU ARE and WHAT YOU NEED in order to be happy and feeling like you are unlovable or a failure is a disservice to YOURSELF as it is creating patterns of thinking that make you even less confident and even MORE needy in the future. 

It is better to feel gratitude and even relief that you were shown a way of being in a relationship that just does not work for you and you will know what kind of situation or man to watch out for next time... you will know what you need to SAY and DO when you get into a relationship with a new man so this does not happen again. 

You will learn to be a wiser and stronger woman who knows her boundaries and who knows what she will or will not tolerate.

Now without any painful experiences in your love life how would you ever know what REAL LOVE with a good man is?

Right... you would not.

Moving on...


Trying to fast track your grief of staying stuck too long

Okay tell me if you have ever done one of these three things after a break up...

Start responding to men you know who are on your relationship back burner or getting on an online dating site literally the SAME DAY your man breaks up with you and start the process of a finding brand new relationship as quickly as possible

Tell yourself you are never courting again or you are not courting until you can somehow fix yourself and the things you think are wrong with you or decide you do not have time for heartbreak and bad relationships any more and you throw yourself into your work... family or friends and avoid courting altogether... any of these sound familiar?

If any of those sound familiar it probably means that you are doing everything you can to AVOID feeling what you are feeling after a break up.

You are either trying to find a man quickly in order to feel desired again and therefore come off as needy... desperate or clingy when you courting a man or you are avoiding men altogether so you are not reminded of the man you really wanted and can no longer have and you give off a vibe that says... 

"Stay away I am not interested."

This ping ponging between extremes actually PREVENTS you from meeting a man who can actually be the one man who CAN be good for you and turn it all around for you and  hey you may not care about that... you may feel like it is okay if you do not court or find Mr. Right for a long... long time and it is your choice and you should be okay with that.

And if you are NOT OKAY with being alone and feeling STUCK then do yourself a favour and learn how to use the pain of your break up to create a BETTER situation for yourself.

Here is how...

Using Your Breakup To Supercharge Your Love Life

So let us say that you have broken up with a man recently or you are still getting over a man from your past.

You know that you should be getting out there and courting or you should at least have a better time with it... maybe you are having trouble getting into it because you are afraid of getting hurt again... you are afraid of getting REJECTED again by someone you are interested in or you are afraid you will not be interested in a man who thinks you are a fantastic woman.

"I like that man yet he does not want me."

"That man keeps calling and asking me out and he gives me the creeps."

This is not just the wrong man at the wrong time... it is a constant struggle with your self worth and esteem know it or not!

And if you find yourself thinking any of those things up there you need to do something right now... you need to take the PRESSURE OFF and start looking at courting as enjoyable and a learning process... seriously.

Maybe you do not think that you can start over at your age and that is total B.S. by the way or that you hate being single again at this point in your life and you ARE single and the sooner you embrace the beauty within that truth the better off you will be and the sooner you can start getting back to a place where you can actually meet a man who will become the love of your life... you can start by simply saying "hello" to one new man every day at the store at work at coffee shops.

And by the way I get it... I can understand that constantly having to start over from scratch to find a great man when you already thought you had one can be really frustrating and if you are like lots of women I have helped then maybe you find that meeting a man is not the problem as so much as when he STOPS CALLING or asking you out or gets distant and withdraws for no logical reason.

Maybe you do not know the specific things to ASK A MAN early on to figure out if he is being honest... if he is mature... if he is even into having a real relationship and not just a fling.


The simple way to OVERCOME all the common courting and relationship frustrations that are haunting you now and keeping you and a man from moving past all the what ifs and maybes and surrendering to your feelings and your love.

And if you are not sure you know what I am talking about and what these few special and rare qualities are that say girlfriend or wife about you to a man that is okay.

What I have learned over many years about the early stages of courting is that most women would be much more successful in courting and relationships if they knew not only how to MEET a great man and how to ATTRACT him in the RIGHT way to keep his interest in the long term as it is not enough just to be a beautiful... sexy and capable woman.

Now do you know and understand how men think about first meet ups and courting and how to set things up right from the start so he will like to be exclusive with you and see you as true relationship material?

And do you know and understand how men fall for a women and start pursuing them and want a COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP filled with love and affection and growth because of a few very special and specific qualities a man either sees and admires in a woman and wants her or he does not see these and he will never want more than just something fun for now.

The reason a man falls for a woman and I mean really and truly falls for her has little to do with the way she LOOKS or how smart of successful she is although these are nice openers to pull a man in at first.

When you know and understand how to relate to men... you will start to see results in the way that men respond to you and in your own ability to create situations that engage his interest and attraction.

Have you any thoughts or comments you would like to share with me on what I have written?

I would love to hear from you.

Thank you and may you enjoy a Loving... Prosperous and Dynamic day!

Yours Sincerely

Dynamic Lifer... The Tribe of Dynamic Lifers

1... A person with a penchant for Science... creativity... books... writing... communication... fitness... women... sexing... sexuality... human relationships... psychology... physiology and any other area involving heavy use of the Intellect.

2... A bright person and glamorously Intelligent!

3... Ange is an Author... Speaker and Dynamic Peak Performance Personal Development Consultant... and Humanistic Counselling Psychologist... Sexologist and Multipreneur... who works with those men and women who desire to personally develop themselves and their relationships to become Dynamic Lifers... creators of their own life... relationships and wealth! 

4... If you are Happy and you Know it... you are becoming a Dynamic Lifer!

To Speak to Ange and arrange a consultation for what you would like help with CLICK HERE

"Transformation happens when people fall in love with a different version of themselves and their future!"

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