How To Deal With Women Who Flake On You When Social Courting 

By Ange Fonce

Do women “stand” you up... and “flake” out on you... one of the most annoying things a woman can do is to "flake out" on your plans... so how do you  deal with women who "flake on you"... have you ever had this happen to you?

I will wager you have... and the “feelings” you "experience" really suck.

I had an "a ha!" moment some time back after coaching a young man online... who because he lost his cool.... he also lost a girlfriend... and I did some “thinking”... which I am prone to do lots off... using the "grey matter" between the ears... and I thought I would share with you some of my thoughts...

I have been enjoying the company of some women... and I was lining up one to see again over the weekend... she is on the younger side of 40... and recently out of a relationship... and she is a walking bag of cRaZy just waiting to happen.

Occasionally I will text her and have been "flirting" with her... all last week she was all a glow with “attraction”.... I thought it was time to get together with her again and finish what we had started the week before... so I sent her a message that said simply... 

"Let us get together tomorrow night after you are done at work... be ready for 8 pm." 

I needed to find out if she was available or not so I could plan things out for my weekend... her response came back... 

"Sounds like fun... see you ..."

Well... that was less than her flirtatious self... which fired of a “red flag” and led me to think...

"She is going to flake." 

I can sense an impeding flake with about a 95% accuracy these days... sure enough... she totally flaked out on me... now I have been in the “mating game” for a some time... and it did not phase me... and I knew that “any reaction” to what she did was a BAD reaction... plus I had a Plan B lined up.

And I had an epiphany as to WHY it is that women cannot see you react on this kind of behaviour... it is like this...

We all know that to “call her on her behaviour” is a “negative” way to handle “flaking”... you send the message that you are “inflexible” and will NOT be fun... sometimes... when a man is just getting his “personal confidence“ and “esteem”... and “self respect” up to Alpha Man level... he thinks that he needs to “set her straight” or “let her know where he stands.”

Usually... this is not good... especially for most younger women who are... as I like to say... "flakier" than  week old croissants... and yes... I hold my hands up here... there has been one time I lost “my cool” under exceptional circumstances... with a woman... who not only “flaked” on me... she played the “selfish bitch” too.... if it were not for some very nice and helpful Russians and Latvians... yours truly would have been in a very tough spot... this was no “everyday flake” by the way... and it was not a pleasant experience at the time... for some time afterwards... I really “thought” this episode through from both perspectives... and “how” to handle such an “exceptional” event in the future... although this was an “exceptional flake”... the “dynamics” that took place... are still roughly the same as an “everyday flake” that women pull on men.

Now consider what she can “interpret” from your reaction... if you react to her “flaking” with anything more than an... 

"I did not even notice you flaked!" 

And you react to her “flaking”... then you are telling her...

A... You lack “emotional maturity”... since you cannot handle disappointment or changes in your rigid... structured little life... and she can interpretative this as... 

“You are about as fun as a stick in the eye.”

B... You must not go through this “experience” of being “flaked on” very much... or you would have figured it out by now... so... this is the first time you have been "flaked on"... get over it. 

And she thinks you are a loser... now I know a lot of men can take me to task over this about a womans “behaviour” and “bad manners”... and not keeping to “her word”... and you most certainly will raise a lot of “good points”... and my reply to this will be...

“It is not about women... it is about “how” you conduct yourself as a MAN!

C... If you HAVE been flaked on before and STILL react this way... it tells her that “insecure anger” is where you are coming from... and she knows what THAT means about you.


What kind of man does not even notice a woman flaking on him?


A MAN who has other options going on in his life.

Until she is wanting you to be her “one and only”... there is NO woman that is THAT big of a concern to you... if she is... you have lost "focus" and "perspective"... a man will only make a woman this important to him when his own life lacks “direction”... “power”... and "fun"... she is not here to give you a “purpose”... she is here to “support” and go where you are already headed.

Some men “incorrectly assume” that they need to make women think that you are the kind of  man that NO woman would DARE flake on because he is so "high value"... or these men think... 

"If I let her get away with this... I will be communicating my lack of value or low social status..."

I have to say to you... not TRUE!

As that young man I was coaching found out to his cost... when he got all “Alpha” on her... she just did not “flake” on him.....she DUMPED HIM!

Often my friends.... “courting” and “relationship” lessons are learnt the hard brutal way!

Women know that nearly EVERY female on the planet has flaked on a man at some point... and nearly EVERY man in the world has been flaked on... at some point in time.. it is like when you woke up this morning to start a new day... it is one of those things in life... that is going to happen to you at some point in time.

If a woman constantly “flakes” on you AFTER you have had an “opportunity” to demonstrate your Masculine self... then you have only one problem to consider... stable... sane... healthy women do NOT “flake” on a man they genuinely WANT to be with.

So if she continues to “flake” ... that is not the “problem”... what you need to know is why did not she want to be with you... why is the woman “flaking?”

Here is my approach...

STEP 1... Recognize that it is in many womens nature to “flake”... not all women... some do possess “real integrity” and would not even entertain the “thought” of “flaking”... so it is not personal... so again... get over it... rain gets you wet... dogs bark... the Sun rises and sets...  women “flake”.. getting angry about this is “neurotic” and pointless... accept it and move on.

STEP 2... Always “stack” your “possibilities”... and have many “options”... if one falls through... you cannot be wasting your “precious time”... getting “indignant” and angry over something that really does not impact you... it is a “typical mistake” to load up far too much “meaning” on any particular “flaking incident”... and that is why you tend to keep asking this question about...

"What do I do when she flakes?"

You  do not  CARE... that is what you do... it is her LOSS... not yours... you made the effort and turned up... she did not... why would you “care” about a woman who does not “care” about you?

3... FOCUS on having FUN... and that you ENJOY your life...  her having fun with you... is more important than having to think you are "high value"... you can be “high value”... and be a complete “arsehole”... the amount of “fun”... and “enjoyment”... she “experiences” being with you is to a large degree... what she equates to... as being your “social value.”

Read that again...

If she “experiences” feeling good around you... she will “feel”... you are of  “high value”... and never forget this... EVER... “enjoying” being with you for you being YOU... is one of the most overlooked aspects of building “attraction” with women... and one of the most under developed “abilities” in most men.

Flaked? Wow, I did not even notice...

Do you ever feel like you are at a loss when it comes to “approaching” women and having them become “interested” in you “romantically?”

Read the next couple paragraphs carefully... because it has a Direct Impact on YOU...

Women are attracted to several key behaviours in men... these are things that many men do not know are “attractive” to women because it goes against what they think of as "nice"... the ideas I have just discussed in the article so far are what I consider to be “essential behaviours” to incorporate in your “personal identity”... these are a critical part of “courting success” with women.

Most men spend no time “improving their skills” with women... and then they end up chickening out when the time is right to approach a woman... they would rather sit back and talk about what they WOULD do... and not actually muster up the courage to DO IT.

I am going to share with you a secret...

I used to be the same way... I was scared to death to walk up to a woman I did not know and just start a conversation with her... if you are like me... you know that this situation does not get better without “learning” some “new skills” and “techniques” to overcome your fears... it simply will NOT get better on its own...

I made a decision back some years... that has lasted me upto now... I decided that... “do or die”... I was going to learn about women... their psychology... their biology... their sexuality... how women "communicate"...I was going to learn ALL I could about women... no matter HOW long it took.

I started “observing” other men who were “naturally” successful with women... what they did to “attract” women... then I developed my own style... seeing what worked and what did not... and I kept it all in a book and constantly up dated it... excuse the pun... I know from past experience... what it is like to sit there “feeling” like you cannot “connect” with a woman to the point she is not going to “flake” on you... now you can get the tools to fix this... so here is some pointers about women and “flaking”...

1... Low Attraction Level to start with... imagine you were like Tom Cruise... and  had asked a women to “meet up”... would she “flake out?”

Probably not... she would probably have prepared for it HOURS in advance... have herself a new hairdo at the salon... and showed up 30 minutes EARLY instead of coming half an hour late... you have to “build” a High Level of Attraction... for her to want to be there with you.

2...  She is Disorganised... a lot of “flaky” women are “flaky” because they are “disorganized”... so you have to make some “allowance” for that...  they do not just “flake out” on men... they “flake out” on women too.... if you find her being “disorganised”... cute... well fine... if you find her being disorganised... “irritating”... why are you going there with such a woman in the first place?

That is just storing up a “ton of trouble”... further down the line for you both!

3)... She is A Natural Flaker... this is worse than having poor “time management skills”... some women are just “natural flakes” because of the way they see the world... and  so many men have let them “flake out” in the past without any “consequences” that they do not even consider it as “bad manners” anymore. 

Getting a “natural flaker” to stop “flaking” on you is as hard as getting a “crack addict” of “crack cocaine”... she may manage to stop “flaking” for a few weeks when the “attraction” is high... yet as soon as she settles down with you... she will slip back into her “routine habit”... and start “flaking” again.

So... basically no matter which category she is in... if a woman "flakes" out on you... it means she either…

1... Does not like you “that” much.

2... Has a “weak” and “flaky” character.

Here is my general rule on “flaking”... if a woman “flakes out” on me once... I do call her out on it in a “fun” way... that she should learn or remind herself of the “concept of time”... and it is “good manners” to be were you say you are going to be... ON TIME! 

If she flakes out on me a second time... I do not ask her out AGAIN until she is asking for me to come out. 

If she flakes out on me a third time... I cut her out of my life... FOREVER... I do not want to be wasting my time with a “flaker”... and a women of “weak character”... who lacks “integrity.”

Here is one last little hint... 

If women "flake out" on you all the time... you need to work on ATTRACTING women BEFORE you ask them out... do not just talk to a woman for 2 minutes and get her number... TALK with her and FLIRT with her first... if you skip these steps and ask her out before you build the “attraction levels”... you will just be setting up yourself for failure... you MUST create “attraction” and “positive emotions”... BEFORE you ask for a “meet up”... that then will “emotionally motivate” her to be there and “meet up” with you.

And a P.S before I finish writing this article... when ever I  receive a text or a call from a woman who “flaked” on me... and they have “apologized” and is back to asking me about a second chance... do you know what my reply is...

"Sure... I will think about it and let you know... soon!”

Now the CHOICE is with me...  do you think this would have happened if I had shown any reaction to her flake? 

Not likely... and that alone is "attractive" to a woman... when you "do not react" in a “negative” way to her “bad behaviour.”

As always... leave a man or woman all the better for knowing you.

Masculine Men and Feminine Women know and are the EXCEPTIONS!

They are truly Passionate and DYNAMIC Lovers!

Yours Sincerely


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I asked a girl I know out, and she accepted. The problem is, I don't have any clue where to take her.

Any ideas where I can take her out a date and what I can buy her. I am thinking of getting her flowers and a meal?"

Gary...Bristol UK

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You get sick of being blown off all the time... and really sick of never being able to reach a woman in the first place.

Yes... I have been there.

We all reach a point of disgust and anger about all the silly social rules in the mating game and we throw in the towel.

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