How To Ask And GET Everything You Want In Bed From Your Lover! 

By Ange Fonce

I talk about a lot of different ways to drive women wild with pleasure... and in this article I want to talk to you about a technique that is not only one of the most powerful ways to  really get her hot and  crazy... it is also... without a doubt... one that is the most fun and pleasurable for you.

If you reverse the question for a minute and think about what a woman can do to really drive “you”  wild... you will probably agree that one of the most... if not the most powerful things she can do is be "a good receiver."

In other words... a woman who is comfortable enough with her own sexuality that she can fully enjoy what you are doing to her... that is a “huge” turn on... and you know what?

The same is true in reverse... and the strange thing is... most men are “terrible” receivers... we are uncomfortable lying back and just accepting pleasure... we are terrible at asking for what we want... we are terrible at letting her see and hear our appreciation for her efforts to please us... for most men there is a certain amount of discomfort in just “taking” pleasure... and even a bit of “shame” around admitting what we really want.

And you could say...  “cheating woman” out of enjoying our pleasure of them... and making them feel insecure about pleasing us.

When you are not a good receiver she feels like she is not good in bed... she feels like you have no passion... she feels embarrassed that she put herself out there and that you did not respond...  she feels turned off by the entire experience... it teaches her not to try to hard to please you again in the future... it takes all the fun out of it for her.

On the other hand... when you really appreciate her for the things she does to get you off... it makes her feel "great" about it... it makes her feel confident and good about her sexuality... and most of all, when she can see that you are enjoying her efforts... it turns her on like crazy!

Now if you are in a relationship where things  have cooled down and you are shaking your head and saying... 

"Trust me Ange... my woman has no interest in pleasing me." 

Then the problem is... you have already trained her to think that it is no fun trying to do things to please you in bed... she has given up on you... you were a bad receiver at some time in the past... and she "learned her lesson."

If you want to earn her passion back... then I have got some hard news for you:.. you have a lot of work to do.

Receiving is an art that is well worth learning... it is one of the central things you have got to  learn to be truly masterful in the bedroom, and... of course it adds considerably to your own pleasure... how powerfully it will affect your ability to get a woman completely sexually addicted to you... when you try this one out... you will learn a lot about your self and how to enjoyment and juice out of every aspect of your life.
 
Question... A Reader Of Intimate Communion Magazine...

"Hey Ange,

My girlfriend and I have been dating for almost 2 years now. The first time she performed oral sex on me was about a year ago. She never took it upon herself to go down on me, and I was always way too shy to ask.

Anyways, one day she just started doing it, but I had a very hard time having an orgasm. So I have 2 questions for you...

1) What can I do to ensure that I have an orgasm when she goes down on me? I've never had oral sex performed on me until her, so I'm still new to it, and I don't want her to feel like she's no good.

2) How do I go about making her feel more inclined to go down on her own? I don't want to have to ask, because it makes me feel demanding in a way, and I don't want to feel like she's only doing it to please me. I guess I want her to enjoy doing it.

Any help you can offer would be greatly appreciated!

Thanks!"

Alex... UK

My Reply...

Dear Alex,

Thank you for your message and writing to me.

I really liked this question because there are so many important aspects of sexual mastery that it brings up... and because I think it represents the thinking of so many men who write in...

Especially the part about feeling DEMANDING if you ask her for something that you want her to do for you during sex.

This is the root of some really big problems that men have-- not just in getting their own sexual needs met... and even more so... and this may sound counter intuitive... in meeting HER sexual needs too.

If you are reading my weekly articles than you have some interest in being "good in bed" for your partner... or you know your good and you want to be GREAT.

Here is some thing to be aware of though...

Sometimes it is the desire to be good in bed that actually CAUSES a man to be very average... or even BELOW AVERAGE in terms of what WOMEN REALLY WANT in a sexual partner.

In other words... wanting to be good in bed can make you BAD in bed.

Here is why...

In general... we men prefer women who have very feminine mannerisms... we prefer women with pretty smiles and soft voices and soft skin with feminine qualities... we like women who walk and move in a feminine way.

Ever see a man sit down in the passenger seat of a car and curl his legs up underneath him?

No?

Me neither... and women do it a lot of  the time... and I find it very sexy... because it is something that I have associated in my brain with being feminine... and women are attracted to masculinity in exactly the same way... and the desire to be good in bed can sometimes really take away from your masculine image in the eyes of women.

To make this clear... 

For some women...  a man who is really shy and tentative is the perfect man.

Okay... I want you to keep this point in your mind... and I am going to answer some of your specific questions in this article so that you can see how this principle applies in the real world... and I will also answer the question of how you can get a lot more oral sex... or anything else that turns YOU on into your love life... while AT THE SAME TIME... giving HER the best sexual experience she has had.

In question 1... Alex asks how he can have an orgasm when she goes down on him so that she does not feel like she is not good at it.

I really like the place in your heart that this is coming from... this shows that you really care about her and that you really understand how easily women can get insecure about their own sexuality... women own insecurities are so often left out of these discussions because we are always dealing with our own issues... and it is THEIR insecurities that, more often than not... are preventing them from having far more intense sexual pleasure.

Okay... so some men find it EASIER to come from oral sex... and some men find it much HARDER to come from oral sex... and there is no "good or bad" about this issue... and the ONLY important way to make your girl feel good about her skills in that department is to just tell her that she is great and that you love it.

Just take control of the situation and take control of her emotional state by confidently assuring her of the fact that everything is great... your confidence and your certainty about the situation is all she needs... is she going to call you a liar?

Of course not... if you tell her it's great with confidence and certainty... she will feel good about the situation... if she asks why you did not ejaculate... you can just tell her the truth... it is easier for you to come during penetrating sex... and that it does not mean you do not still love it when she goes down on you.

And to be perfectly clear... I am advocating that you tell the truth... if in fact... her oral skills are not everything you want them to be... then gently... and lovingly tell her what else you would like her to do... she will APPRECIATE it.

Then give her praise for her improvement... if she cares about you... she will be very relieved to have you tell her EXACTLY how you want to be touched.

In fact... even if she does not care about you... she will probably be very eager to learn... both men and women love to be appreciated... we love to have the things we give be received in an enthusiastic way... another way to show her how much you appreciate her oral skills... is just to ALLOW YOURSELF to make the sounds that people make when they are in ecstasy... that is the applause for the performance... you know how much you appreciate it when she makes those sounds when you do something that feels good to her?

Well... she likes it just as much as you do... humans are wired that way.

One of the reasons that you might be having trouble coming in her mouth is that you are so busy worrying about all of these other issues... just let that stuff go... enjoy it... maybe you will come... maybe you will not.

Assuming you have the most basic common sense on the issue... take a shower and make sure you smell fresh and clean down there... most women LOVE to please their man sexually... and they love it when you appreciate it and tell them so...or make some noises that indicate that she is doing it right.

And a lot of those women who love giving oral sex actually do not much appreciate it when you ejaculate while they are going down on you... some of them do not like the mess or the taste... and most of all... if you ejaculate in her mouth, then the love making is over... and that can be kind of a drag if she was thinking that it was just part of foreplay... going down on you probably gets her really turned on... she does not always want it to END there.

What all of this adds up to is...  reassure her that you like it... and do not stress about the rest.

The second question was how to get her to do it more often... and I think I have already made it clear that all you have to do is TELL HER that you want her to do it... and the most important aspect of this answer is that you must TRUST that asking for what you want is NOT demanding... it is totally okay... and that not asking for what you want is just  not masculine.

Here is the slightly complicated part...

If you do ask her... and in your mind you still think it is kind of demanding... that she might not like you being demanding... she will FEEL that you are tentative... she will feel a LACK OF MASCULINITY in you... and if her girlfriend was to ask her later... she might say... 

"I really didn't like it when he asked me to do that." 

And the reason she did not like it is that she associated you asking with you being sexually unattractive... if on the other hand... you confidently tell her exactly what you want her to do... if you let her FEEL with your words how much you will enjoy it... if you make her feel sexy about how much you enjoy the way she does it... she will probably find that EXTREMELY ATTRACTIVE.

If she was talking to her girlfriend later... she would tell her what a turn on it was when you told her to go down on you... just like that... sounds like there is a paradox there... and there is not.

Confidence is sexy... tentative is not... being an enthusiastic receiver is sexy... feeling like you are demanding is not.

Now... for you... this can either be good news or bad news based on what you do next... if you cannot free yourself from the notion that it is demanding to ask for what you want sexually... and if you cannot learn to trust that she probably LOVES to give you oral sex … which is why she did it in the first place... then this is entirely bad news for you and for your sexual encounter with this woman.

If on the other hand... you know that she loves it... and you understand that it is not only totally okay... and sexually ATTRACTIVE to ask confidently for what you want... then this is good news.

Because not only will you get oral sex whenever you want it... you will be sexier in her eyes... and she will be feeling like you have become much better in bed... without even knowing why she feels that way... BOTH of you will be enjoying your sex life more.

Yours Sincerely

Ange Fonce

And THAT... my friends... is what this Article is all about.

As always... leave a man or woman all the better for knowing you.

Masculine Men and Feminine Women know and are the EXCEPTIONS!

They are truly Passionate and DYNAMIC Lovers!

Yours Sincerely

Ange Fonce

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