How do you open your Man up when he is emotionally withdrawing from You?

This "special" article is in response to a question I am often asked on a regular basis by women. 

Especially by e mail, so read on and I am sure you will find this article very useful and answer to many questions you have about men and that "special" man in your life.. 

Do you feel like talking to your partner about where your relationship is headed, but you do not know exactly how to do it?

Sometimes these kinds of talks can create more distance between the two of you, but it does not have to be that way.

I can share with you a way of how to talk to your boyfriend/husband and connect with him about how you are both feeling in a way that he will not only respond to...but show you how to have him WANTING MORE time with you talking, listening, and sharing because it feels so good.

You know how lovely it is when you and a man finally "connect" on that deep "intimate" personal level.

Do not let this be a rare situation, when there are a few simple yet powerful tools you can use to make sure you and your man connect on this deeper level daily.

I will share with you some of my very best tips, tools and insights on how to create this level of open and free-flowing connection and communication with your guy are all right here. 

So lets move on...

Here is something I know first. 

Tons of women hide their true feelings from a man and fear sharing their desire for a closer relationship and for love.

Have you ever felt this way?

It happens when you will not communicate directly with a man about your feelings because you think you will "scare him away."

Now I am a Man and I am going to share this with you.

You will not scare him away IF you know how to communicate with a man in a way that gets him to listen to you and not hear what his fears want him to hear.


I have women communicate their feelings with me in all sorts of different ways from joy to anger to frustration, and I know what each one does to a man (and in a larger context, what communicating this way does to any person in general - man or woman.)

See, there is a common pattern most men and women share when it comes to their dating and relationship experiences.

Tell me if it sounds familiar to you. 

The story goes something like this...

(Let us imagine I am the man in this story and you are the woman.)

You and I meet. 

We both like each other. (Smiles, fortunate me!)

Our feelings develop for each other on several levels (physically, emotionally, socially.)

You try to be "patient" and not express too many feelings and play it cool.

We have a great "connection" and have a great time when we are together...but we never really talk about what we want in our future around dating, a relationship, or marriage.

Time goes by and things are great for us when we are together.

But eventually, you begin to see that you are not getting what you want from me in the relationship once you start to see that things are not moving past this "casual" but fun situation.

Which brings up a dilemma in your mind.

You want more, but you are scared of talking to me about it because you do not know where I am at.

You want us to get closer, but you do not want to "rock the boat" and do something that will make things worse, when all you want is for things to be even more magical for us both together.

Plus, you are a little scared about how things are going to go in the future because I have talked to you about all the bad experiences I have had with women in the past, and part of you knows that I might not be "open" or seem "ready" for the kind of love and a lasting relationship that we could have.

And sometimes I even make negative remarks about dating and relationships that make you think that there is a part of me that does not "get" what we have together or fully appreciate it the way you do.

Of course, you do not want to ruin the good things we have going, but in the back of your mind you know that you want to talk about where things are headed so you can have some certainty and not feel like you are just waiting around for me to "get with the program" and figure it out.

But the more you think about this, and us, the more you start to feel fear and the negative emotions that come into your mind.

You think to yourself,

  • "What if he's not that serious about me, and I'm totally in love with him?"
  • "What if this is all he wants, and I'm left hanging after putting so much into this?"
  • "What if everything that I've been feeling and starting to count on isn't real!?"
Your head is full of these thoughts...but you still do not communicate with me about them.


As I start to see us growing closer, a few things start to happen for me at the same time.

I notice that you are acting different and seem more emotional, more worried, and almost "needy" when we are together

I notice that we do not have as much fun any more and that things are starting to feel "heavy," and like it is "work" when we are together
You do not seem to be so "into me" any more, and you are not just happy to see me and share your love and affection when we first see each other

I start to notice that you question me a lot more, and react to little things that I do, no matter how small or insignificant I think they are

And finally...

I start to pull away as I feel these things and do not know what they are (which only makes you feel worse, worry more, reinforces the negative distance we are both starting to feel between us)

But still, you are trying to play it cool and let things work out without freaking out.

So you do not say anything to me directly to communicate what is going on for you and your feelings.

And of course, being a man, I do not say anything either. (Of course, I am a Man!)

But you become more and more frustrated and confused that I am not acting how I used to act.

Things begin to change with the way I treat you.

  • I don't pay as much attention to you any more.
  • I don't surprise you or bring you flowers any more.
  • I'm tired every day after work and just want to watch TV when I get home.
  • I call you less frequently.
  • I don't initiate sex as much any more.
You even consider that I could be seeing someone else because of how differently I am acting with you now.

And after a few months, I have become totally distant from you.

So what happens next?


You decide you are not happy with where things are and it is time to have the dreaded "talk."

But you are SCARED of expressing your feelings about what you want because it will scare me away, so you let things build up inside you until you begin to let your frustrations with me show.

And to wrap the story up...

You start a conversation about the relationship and then you "let me have it." (You get upset and lose your cool with me.)

All the desires, fears, frustrations, resentments and dreams that you have been holding inside away from me all pour out in one big emotional explosion...

But this creates all kinds of tension that actually works against your relationship. 

And I withdraw from you completely.

Maybe even ending the relationship.

There is a much better way...

There is a way to talk with a man about "where things are going" that will get some positive results, move things FORWARD, and bring you CLOSER...a way that will build a better foundation for communication and your relationship,

If you want the quickest way to jump-start your dating life or breathe new life into your relationship with a man, then I suggest you contact me.

Now, I am going to tell you how to talk to him about your relationship in three easy steps...

Step 1. You Need To Understand What's Going On Inside The Mind Of Your Man.

Let me tell it to you straight, as a man...Women secretly believe that their connection with a man will "naturally" turn into something deeper without any communication taking place.

Not True! 

It's an urban myth and belief that woman hold onto.

Since when have men been able to "Mind Read?" 

And for that matter....Since when have women been able to "Mind Read?"

This is not how it works with most men and women in the real world.

If you are "assuming" you have a relationship, and that he feels like you do, odds are that you are wrong.

Men do not automatically assume that a connection, being together, spending quality time and all the rest means they are in a committed RELATIONSHIP.

Needy men do, Masculine Men do not.

For a man to know he is in a committed relationship, and understand the things YOU want in that relationship.

YOU have to communicate with him in CLEAR AND DIRECT terms.

Yeah, that's right - you have to put yourself out there and be vulnerable.

I know, "common wisdom" tells you that doing this is the surest way to scare a man off.

But what about women who seem to "effortlessly" attract a man to share love with them and commit, without any struggles or tension? 

Is it just luck?
While in some rare cases these circumstances is is generally NOT luck.

It is that these women either naturally know how to interact and communicate with men in relationships in a way that WORKS...

OR they have taken the time to find and learn the right information, and integrate a new, more productive and positive way of communicating into their thinking and behaviours.

Doing this is not easy.

In fact, it is a "skill" most people have to learn to finally create and grow a real, lasting, loving relationship.

But the good news is that there is way's to learn and get help.

Keep reading...

Step 2. Shifting Your Perspective And Understanding His Point of View

EVERYONE wants to have THEIR needs met first.

It is basic human nature.

But being able to delay your gratification is an AMAZING thing to develop in your life (in every part of your life, not just dating).

Most people (men and women) want to talk, talk, talk about what THEY think and what THEY want.

The root of this problem basically boils down to having your own needs that are unmet.

So, a key to having successful communication with a man is to honestly and critically consider the man's perspective, his emotional state, his communication skills and where he is coming from at the same time.

Here's the thing...

When you do this with a man, you are letting him know that you are as concerned about his needs and wants as you are about your own.

I see this in business, too.

Like when someone calls me who wants to get something from me or sell me something and they are not very experienced or polished at it.

The first thing I pick up on is their selfish agenda, and it instantly puts me on the defensive.

But if they had done their "homework" on me and understand what I am looking for, instead of coming from a place of need about what THEY WANT from me... then the whole situation changes the second they show me they have thought about what I want.

It is very simple, but extremely powerful.

So let us take this concept directly back to communicating with men.

It might sound cliche, but you have got to learn to listen and understand where he is at and where he is coming from.

Patience, empathy and understanding are the first steps towards creating the relationship you dream about with a man who has his own dreams, desires, and frustrations.

Or course, you have also got to be careful to not become the woman who gives a man EVERYTHING and gets walked on, either.

We will get to how to make sure you are "heard" and have your needs met in a minute...

Step 3 Use Your Natural Communication Skills Positively

Let me give you a vital piece of information when dealing with men...

Most men are CLUELESS when it comes to identifying the things that are "obvious" to women in dating and relationships. 

Unless he is a very skilled and aware man.

I would know. 

It has taken me ten years of real deep learning to understand all about women for myself - and I spend a LOT of time learning, researching, thinking and practising with women for me to be natural and tuned into women.

This stuff you just do not get taught by your parents, school etc,etc

So I know many men are AWFUL at initiating and participating in conversations about deep emotions and relationships. 

Simply because they are not taught and know "how too?"

Sorry to break the bad news ladies, but it is almost always up to you to make this communication happen - or at least to get it started and make it a part of your ongoing relationship.

When motivated, men can be great learners who pick things up quickly and like to succeed at new things.

So learn to take advantage of mens strengths, instead of condemning men for their lack of knowing.

It is important to remember to approach the entire conversation from the perspective of talking about what you want AND what he wants.

If you can make a guy feel like you put his feelings and needs a priority in this conversation, and always consider what he wants, I can tell you he will LOVE YOU for it!

That you APPRECIATE him and he will return the same to you.

When you talk to a man from a positive place of listening first, he will be so much more receptive to what you have to say than if you approach him from a place of feeling hurt, anxious or attacking.

Try this instead...

Ask a positive question or give a positive statement such as, "Honey, I was thinking today that I was happy to be with you."

It might sound submissive, corny, or difficult to say to someone you are having a tough time with, but think about it...

If you are going through all the trouble to worry so much about the future with this person, this is already what you are thinking.

Are you are ready to learn specifics about how to talk to a man in a way that will bring you closer together every day - or if you need help getting things back to a deeply connected place?

Do you want to learn how to create the kind of "open dialogue" that will result in a deeper kind of love with a man - the kind of warm, loving communication at the heart of every great relationship.

Will you want to learn what will make a man want to understand and talk to you, and how to share your innermost feelings with him in a way that will not make him withdraw or want to get some distance from you.

Find out what to DO and SAY to get a man to open up and want to talk, so you do not end up in another dead-end relationship that is not fulfilling...or worse, feels uncertain, tense and even abusive.

Do you want to find out more about "Communication Secrets" to help in your relationships and deepen Intimacy?

How to tap into the "hidden messages" your man is SUBCONSCIOUSLY sending you... and get to know what he is thinking and feeling?

Then please Contact me.

You will be well on your way to the confidence and certainty you have always thought was possible to experience love and intimacy with a man, but did not know how to get to.

As ever...

Always leave a man or a woman all the better for knowing you. 

Average men and women know only the rules. 

Masculine Men and Feminine Women know and are the EXCEPTIONS!

For Love, Passion and Intimacy...

Ange Fonce

Would you like to know more of how dating, relationship, personal development and sex coaching can help you?


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