Flirting With Married Women "Forbidden Fruit" Yes or No? 

By Ange Fonce

Now as a man who lives life and those men I work with as Clients, we have all found ourselves in this situation.

You are going to find yourself in the situation of being "Hit On" by married women.

In my profession as dating, relationship and sexuality coach. I am often privy to both men and women's most inner most thoughts and experiences.

And this is a subject I often deal with... "The Affair!"

So with out any further chit chat from me, let us get stuck into this article and please do comment!

Do married women still flirt with men - and is flirting with married women a good idea for you to try?

The answer to the first question is a very definite yes!

Women crave male attention.

It is wired into their nervous systems and therefore, they continue flirting after marriage in much the same way that you would continue looking at pretty girls even after you are married. The two sexes are simply designed that way.

However, the answer to the second question (is flirting with married women a good idea?).

That is a question for you to decide?

An obvious risk is that her husband will turn out to be in the vicinity and that she is flirting with you to make him jealous. If he does not get jealous, she will interpret that to mean his feelings for her have faded. If he does get jealous, she will interpret this to mean that he still loves her. And if he gets really jealous (such as by beating the stuffing out of you, for example), she will interpret that to mean he is absolutely crazy about her.

What is more, she will not feel constrained when she plays this game because it will be your nose and not hers that gets bloodied if hubby goes ballistic.

Yet even aside from the question of "is it safe?"

There is the question of "is it a "cool" thing to do?"

After all, would you want other guys flirting with your wife if you were married?

Certainly not!
So why do the same to another guy?

Odds are that he is just as decent a guy as you are.

However, life is seldom quite so simple.

To reduce the chance that you will wisely decline to play the game of flirting with married women, most married ladies you meet will not let on right away that they are attached. Otherwise, you are far less likely to make some kind of play for them and therefore reassure them that they still have considerable sex appeal. After all, would you volunteer immediately and without prompting that you are married yourself if you are on a long distance business trip and meet a cute stewardess who seems charming and friendly?

Even if you are 100% certain that you will remain faithful no matter what temptation is thrown your way?

Perhaps, perhaps not ... right?

The most candid thing would be to just ask straight away, "are you married?"

It is the same thing with married women. and of course, the most candid thing would be to just ask straight away, "are you married?"

Yet not all women (or men) will give an honest answer to that. And the very act of asking that question would certainly kill the ambiance, in any event. Therefore, there will always be some risk when flirting with married women.

That is the downside.

Question. And what is the upside?

Answer.  Now that is the Million Dollar Question. Do you or don't you?

If a married woman is flirting with you just to make her hubby jealous, what is in it for you?

At best, nothing!

And at worst, a trip to the emergency room.

Even if she is flirting with you for her own ego gratification (thus proving to herself that she is still a desirable woman), what is in it for you?

And more to the point where is your ego?

Where is your brain at... Hint, hint... some where of down between your legs, maybe?

Let us be candid here, you talk to new women you meet at least partly on the chance that the encounter may progress to the bedroom later on. Without that possibility, why waste your time flirting with married women?

There are plenty of single women out there. And then, there she is in front of you, smoulderingly HOT and coming onto you.

What do You do?

Now here you are "single" guy (and if your a "married man" what are you doing "mixing" it with a "married" woman? 
Unless she is your wife of coarse.)

Being "hit" on by a "married" woman.

Can you get past your "ego" and your "lost" brain at this point?

Consider this and ask yourself this question...

"Why is this woman "hitting" on me if she is "married?"

Well one obvious answer...

She is not "happy" in her relationship.

Now let us swoop roles from being the "single guy" to the "married guy." Even if you are a single guy reading this article.

Take NOTE, that all what comes next will APPLY to you when you do get into a "relationship" with a woman!

The "Tests" Women Constantly Throw Men

The fact is women test men constantly.

Whether they are in a relationship or not. If you already knew it or just became aware of it, the fact remains, that every one of us as a man has been tested by a woman. The problem is however, that most guys are not even aware of it.

Hell, some of you are not even aware of it now!

That is because for many men, it is very hard to recognize a female test. To know when a woman is testing you, you first have to understand what exactly a test is and how to recognize one. Basically testing is a screening tool to see if you have "strength of character" (or backbone, if you prefer this phrasing). For her it is a way to see how you would behave in certain situations.

If you manage to pass her tests constantly, she will categorize you as a male who is "confident" and secure in his "masculinity" and feel attraction for you. If not, she will categorize you as a wimp and lose attraction (if there was any attraction to begin with). And trust me, getting a woman interested again is a real challenge; sometimes even impossible. (Hence that is why she is "flirting" with another guy and not you.)

That is why you have to pass most of her tests so she will become and stay attracted.

So, be ready to get tested constantly.

But surely if you have passed most of her tests and are now in a relationship with her, married to her, you do not have to worry about them again.


Not so fast... A woman will test the same guy through the whole relationship.

For her it is important to see, if he is still is the man who she fell for. Women cannot stay sure if the guy, who she found so attractive in the beginning of the relationship, and choose to marry, is still the same guy she is now sleeping with, having sex with and living with. So she tests him and if he constantly fails these tests, she will lose interest. (Hence, she is now flirting with you the "single" guy.)

There is even an old saying...

“A man marries a woman hoping she never changes. A woman marries a man looking to change him.”

With passing time however, she will need less and less proof (if you manage to pass her tests most of the time) and feels safe knowing that you are in fact a man who has backbone and when needed, can protect her.

That is what a woman really wants – to feel safe.

Now, here is a scary fact for you, a woman is not always testing you on purpose. Sometimes she is not even aware of it. And if you have ever been in a relationship, you probably have experienced it yourself. When she acts “all weird” and does not even know herself why she is behaving like that, she is subconsciously testing you.

Nevertheless, should you fail these tests, she will feel that something is off and lose attraction. She does not even know what, she feels it in her gut and starts to act accordingly.

This means she might start to ignore you or will not react to you the way she did before. Sometimes women do not even have to say anything to test you.

Just imagine you have met a girl you are attracted to. So you go to talk to her and she gives you the cold shoulder or acts like a real bitch. This can even be a test to see how you will respond to it. If you manage to stay cool and not let her behavior dictate yours, she will eventually warm up to you (of course, sometimes nothing works, because she really is a mean bitch!).

By now, you are probably are pretty eager to know, how women test you.

So let me explain it to you.

It is actually pretty simple and straightforward. She is constantly seeking your reaction on how you act towards her. If she says something just to get a reaction from you and to put you on the defensive, she is testing you. And if you react, you have failed her test.

So the best tip I can give you is to not become defensive when she says or does something. Do not let her behavior affect you in any way and you will pass her test. The one thing however you should avoid at all costs is to get too paranoid and take everything what a woman says or does as a test.

Not everything is a test!

If you start to take every little thing as a test, it will backfire on you. If she is a stranger to you and does not respond to you at all, sometimes you need to let it go and not to take it as a test. Sometimes she just says things that are on her mind and is not testing you, so if you respond to her as if you would respond to a test, it will definitely backfire. Women test men constantly and the best way to distinguish if she is testing you or not, is to have a core understanding of the female psyche. This does not mean you have to know everything about her, only what makes a woman tick.

Armed with this knowledge, you can separate a test from something she really says (means) and does.

Understand Women In Relationships

The fact is, men are elegantly simple creatures when compared to women.

We are easy!

Although I am saying this with a Big smile, there will be women reading this article and saying... NO WAY!

When it comes to being in a relationship, it usually only takes a couple things to keep most of us guys happy.

Here is an approximate list:

She has sex with you (and only you) regularly and without you having to beg for it.

She acts as if she actually likes you both publicly and in private.

She is nice and sweet to you.

She shows some understanding of and appreciation for the efforts you make on her behalf.

Most guys would be absolutely delighted if they could get that much out of a relationship.

Understanding women in relationships is not quite a life on the sunny beach.

Do women realize this?

Sure they do.

Ask any woman what men need in a relationship and the chances are good that she will create a very similar list.

They know the answer.

However, they do not like the answer.

All "sweetness and harmony"  soon quickly become's boring to most women.

Do not think so?

Tune in to any soap opera and note how often the characters are sweet and harmonious and how often they are anything but. "Anything but" will win hands down every time. All the intrigue, duplicity, back-stabbing and especially the fighting holds female viewers interest. Understanding the role of fighting is key to understanding women in relationships, yet most men do not.

Why is that?

One big reason is that many women make it difficult for most men to understand them. By not being "authentic" as themselves (not all women I may add.) They "sell the sizzle" by pretending (to the extent that they can pull it off) to be the person we really want. They will have sexing with us (to get us used to getting it regularly),

They will act (at least some of the time) as if they like us, and they may even express appreciation now and then. And in time, that initial "honeymoon experience" will evolve into something resembling a soap opera. In particular, the fights will start and the relationship will gradually deteriorate from that point forward.

Due to not understanding women in relationships, most guys will be both stunned and distressed when she starts the first fight with them. That is a side of her they had not seen up until that point and were thinking they would never see.

And they will not like it. It makes no sense to men.

We learn to avoid fights and we perceive fights as a bad thing. After all, when men fight, there are often injuries and sometimes death. Or worse, most guys would never start a fight with someone at least half again their size. That would be just plain wrong for most men.
Understanding women in relationships including the role of fighting.

Yes women pick fights in relationships.


The first time, it might blow over quickly and the guy will probably attribute it to pms (as that is the least scary explanation). And the fights will continue sporadically as long as the relationship continues. And they will tend to get worse over time. And understanding that progression is another key to understanding women in relationships.

And that will eventually be what breaks up the relationship (unless she does not leave him first, which is the more common outcome), "fight fatigue". She will wear him down to the point where he just cannot stomach another fight.
Another of the reasons understanding women in relationships is difficult is that it is relatively straightforward to observe how women behave and to know for sure why they behave that way.

Why have women evolved to fight often in relationships despite the fact that most men detest having such fights?

It is a way a women will try to pinpoint exactly how their partner feels about them. Women have evolved to use fighting to elicit an unscripted response.

There is a well-known Latin phrase which says "in vino veritas"

That translates to "in wine there is truth", meaning that people are likely to become uninhibited and then "speak the truth" (i.e. say what they are really thinking or feeling) after several alcoholic drinks.

Women have evolved to use fighting the same way (i.e. to elicit an unscripted response). Women realize that men lie a lot in relationships. (And if you are a "married man" flirting with the "married  or single woman" at the bar... Hmm... how "truthful" are you being?)

To be honest most guys do in a relationship, it is not to deceive a woman. It is to avoid "conflict" with a woman.

After all, if she asks you "does this dress make me look fat?" (and it does), are you going to be truthful?

Most men will lie. Why start a fight?

It take a strong guy totally secure in himself and authentic in his masculinity to tell a woman, exactly how it is.

And do you know what. They are the guys women really "Trust!"

Most men have evolved in such a way that the direction of others feelings toward them is the most important dimension. So most guys have become conflict avoiders by nature. If someone feels negatively toward us, that could mean (depending on gender) getting a beating or not getting laid.

And those are both bad outcomes.
Understanding women in relationships including why arguments happen.
Women operate differently. 

They do not have to worry about whether anyone would be willing to have sex with them. And therefore, the direction of others feelings toward them often seems to be less important to women than the intensity of those feelings. So angrily calling her every bad name in the book after she dumps you will be music to many women's ears.

To her, love and hate will be two sides of the same coin: either emotion says that she matters to you. And the more vehement your tirade, the more she must matter to you. The reaction that would disappoint her is indifference, as that would signal that she does not matter.

Amazingly enough, there is an underlying logic to understanding women in relationships

So let us relate that dynamic to fighting in a relationship.

If she asks you if you still love her, you will say "of course!", regardless of whether your feelings are beginning to wane. She will not know whether you really mean it or whether you are just saying it to avoid a fight.

So instead, she will provoke you.

She may flirt blatantly with another guy if you are at a party or she may just start picking on some real or imagined wrong she thinks you have committed. Either way, she is looking for a strong reaction (you losing your temper) and, unless you have a good grasp of understanding women in relationships, you will give her one. If you go over to the guy she is flirting with and angrily tell him to back off, that will tell her that you do still care about her. And if you just smile, shrug it off, and return to talking to whomever you were talking, then she will worry.

You are supposed to go ballistic.

And if you do not, that shows her that you have disengaged emotionally.
Understanding women in relationships including fighting after-effects.

Yet are not women concerned about going too far whenever they test us guys like this?

Not really. 

They have the antidote... 


And very few men will turn it down from a woman when she is offering sexing.

There is so much to being "involved" in a relationship with a woman. And then that is what makes women so interesting and alluring.

So back to the "single guy," there you are with a smokingly hot married woman "flirting" with you and "hitting" on you.

What ARE you going to do next?

If you would like to learn more about understanding women in relationships or are looking for advice on other aspects of your relationships?

You might want to Contact Me!

Have you any thoughts or comments you would like to share with me on what I have written?

I would love to hear from you.

Thank you and may you enjoy a Loving... Prosperous and Dynamic day!

Yours Sincerely

Ange Fonce

Ange is an Dynamic Personal Development Coach who works with those men and women who want to personally develop their confidence, relationships, health and wealth!

To Speak to Ange and arrange a free consultation CLICK HERE

"Transformation happens when people fall in LOVE with a different version of themselves and their future!"

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