Flirting And The Dance Of Seduction

By Ange Fonce

Most men I have coached and worked with initially consider flirting for men to be a odd topic for discussion. 

After all men see flirting as something that women do presumably just to pass the time and amuse themselves. 

They see the male role in courtship as being far more results oriented... picking up women and if all goes well bedding them.

And so if you have considered the flirting for men issue at all you almost certainly think like most of your male competition. 

You approach courtship as an efficiency expert would approach a workplace process...

"How can I do more with less?"

"How can I cut steps out of the process?"

"How can I get from here to there more efficiently?"

"How can I close the deal more quickly?"

Yet when you take this typically male approach to seduction you are missing out on so much fun with women and actually missing out on a crucial part of getting to know a woman you are attracted too.

Flirting can give you a great insight as to her character.

Learn To Play The Mating Game

In other words they and possibly you are thinking of accelerated fast flirting or speed seduction and not genuine flirting when you are courting where things move less promptly and here is the thing it is safe to say that men normally do not see a crystal clear connection between flirting for men and seduction that leads to sexing and so many men consider the traditional flirting ritual to be largely a waste of time and men who adopt that attitude also tend to get sexing a lot less often than they would like... even when they are in a relationship.

These two items are strongly correlated... flirting and seduction that is because women are the gate keepers for sexing as they can set the ground rules... they can determine who gets in and who does not and to women flirting and seduction is a big deal. 

Women often make the following comment to me over the years after a man suggests that they...

"Cut through the games and move on to the main event."

You Cannot Score If You Do Not Play The Game

So let us consider why flirting for men matters so much by using a different metaphor with which you are much more familiar... recruiting and hiring.

The last time you looked for a job was it a quick process? 

Probably not... it dragged on for quite a while and what is more the better the job the more effort that the hiring company devoted to the recruiting and hiring process right?

Here is a rough outline of how it all works...

The open position will either be publicized or in the case of the really high level positions passed on to a head hunter for more discreet recruiting they will solicit some with accompanying cover letters... then they will weed the stack of applicants down to the most interesting 2% or 3% and after that they will schedule interviews... then they will follow up with more interviews for the finalists and finally they will check references before giving the green light to the winning candidate and job searches are similar to flirting dynamics.

That is quite a journey and to maximize your opportunities of success you almost certainly started off by investing a lot of time perfecting your resume and then you prepared for the subsequent interviews... you figured out how to dress for the occasion and what to say and what not to say and what mannerisms to adopt and what mannerisms to avoid and so on.

You jumped through hoops one after the other not because you really enjoyed it and who does because that is the ritual required for you to land a good paying job with promotion potential... jumping through hoops and getting the job are a package deal and here is where you can apply lessons learned from job hunting to developing more effective flirting techniques... for women looking for a new mate the art of flirting for men and how he seducers her is to her similar to recruiting and hiring.

After all there are likely many men who would be interested in bedding her and some would be better catches than others and she cannot bed them all as most women will not take all comers so she will also narrow down the list of applicants to a much more manageable size and she will do that by flirting with men. 

That is because for women flirting is a preliminary job interview which determines whether that man will move on to the next stage of courtship an actual meet up... so even though it may seem to you that flirting is just idle chit chat it is not. 

What will she be looking to learn about you?

Many things such as...

Are you relaxed or uptight?

Are you confident or timid?

Do you have a soft touch with people or are you abrasive?

Do you seem comfortable around her or do you seem afraid of her?

Do you seem empathetic or do you seem self centered?

Do you seem like a fun man or are you a stick in the mud?

Do you seem focused or are you drifting aimlessly?

How well educated are you?

What do you do for a living?

Are you already married or in a serious relationship?

While chatting with you about seemingly nothing important she will be making her initial judgement as to how interesting and available you are... in other words while chatting with you about seemingly nothing important she will be making her initial judgement as to how interesting and available you are as well as how well you and she click.

Normally women will just ask you about your education occupation and marital status and even there they will second guess you. 

Are you wearing a wedding band? 

Is your skin colour is slightly lighter where a wedding band would normally be worn indicating that you do wear one and took it off recently perhaps so you can prowl?

Like a skilled detective women are looking for useful clues and they will not ask you directly about your fine qualities like are you a fun man since they know that you will give whatever answer you think they are looking for so instead they will try to figure those answers out themselves by observation. 

This is exactly the same process used by prospective employers in an actual job interview.

Successful Flirting For Men

The bottom line here is that you will get better results with women if you take flirting and seduction seriously. 

So why not approach flirting as you would a job interview?

Be prepared!

Organize yourself as I have many effective tips on flirting and courting for men which can be applied to almost any social scenario. 

This includes flirting psychology which includes two types of women not to flirt with as well as many other lessons that I can share with you about flirting and seduction for men... I can also share with you what to say when you meet her... the importance of subtle flirting and simple ways to read body language and if you are still unsure of whether or not she is flirting with you and how to read female body language when flirting with her and also how to interpret the likely responses she will give when you try to get to know her.

And one last item of helpful advice about flirting for men I provide is how women justify their own so called harmless flirting.

As always leave a man or woman all the better for knowing you. 

Have you any thoughts or comments you would like to share with me on what I have written?

I would love to hear from you.

Thank you and may you enjoy a Loving... Prosperous and Dynamic day!

Yours Sincerely

Dynamic Lifer... The Tribe of Dynamic Lifers

1... A person with a penchant for Science... creativity... books... writing... communication... fitness... women... sexing... sexuality... human relationships... psychology... physiology and any other area involving heavy use of the Intellect.

2... A bright person and glamorously Intelligent!

3... Ange is an Author... Speaker and Dynamic Peak Performance Personal Development Consultant... and Humanistic Counselling Psychologist... Sexologist and Multipreneur... who works with those men and women who desire to personally develop themselves and their relationships to become Dynamic Lifers... creators of their own life... relationships and wealth! 

4... If you are Happy and you Know it... you are becoming a Dynamic Lifer!

To Speak to Ange and arrange a consultation for what you would like help with CLICK HERE

"Transformation happens when people fall in love with a different version of themselves and their future!"

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