Do You Rush Blind Into A Relationship Or Are You Discerning?

By Ange Fonce

Do you rush in blind into a relationship and often end up in a mess? 

Or are you discerning about who you court and will enter into a relationship with?

As a man or a women when you meet someone new... do you ever invest the time and I mean real time and effort in really getting to know that other person during the "getting to know you phase?"

Like what makes them tick?

What are their qualities?

What are their values?

What is their personality type?

Do you take a step back and really look at that other person and consider them as real relationship material that you can build a great relationship with?

Or do you get carried away by the feelings and the chemistry of the moment only to find yourself further down the line in a messy relationship... not really liking that other person and your stuck with them... your in to deep with your emotional involvement and other commitments to them?

And you realize you were none to smart in your choice!

Imagine this for a moment....

There you are with 30,000 of your hard earned bucks and you decide you are going to buy a new car... now that is a considerable investment of your hard earned money.

Do you just rush out go into the first car showroom see a car that looks and feels right to you and go buy it? 

No thought if it is practicable... gives good mileage... has reasonable maintenance costs... service costs... insurance coasts... good service deal... drives well... depreciation value, etc. 

Are you the kind of man or woman that would you do that... just go out and blow your 30,000 of your hard earned bucks because it looks good and feels okay?

Or would you would shop around for the best deal... try out a few different models... you would have an idea in your mind of what you want and you would invest the time getting what you want... the best value for your money and a car you really liked... that you feel comfortable with and does what you ask of it. 

You have been discerning about how you are going to spend your hard earned money and invested well in your new set of wheels and you got the best deal you can... the whole "package" for your 30,000 bucks!

And yet when it comes to courting so many men and women just take the "lucky dip bag" approach to relationships like...

"Hey here is my 30,000 bucks... I like you... it feels right so take my money." 

And no thought is given to what the deal might be... the hidden costs in the package... so there you are with your new partner... you have given over your money and brought into a relationship on a feeling and yet what thought have you given to the road ahead? 

Good Deal Or BUST?

You might have gone and brought yourself a real lemon with no refund on the deal and blew your 30,000 hard earned bucks!

I would like to think you have got my metaphor by now!

To court and to build a relationship of any kind in a healthy manner you must take into account that compatibility issues will inevitably surface once the thrill of the "newbie phase" wears of. 

To avoid romantic commitment with someone of clashing temperaments... you need to see past the initial physical attraction of chemistry and charm... to your potential partners compatibility with your own personality style

There are 2 general personality types... Thinkers and Feelers which then become 4 basic personality types which can be broken down even further... yet for the purpose of this article I am going to stick with the 4 basic personality types...


Each personality type has its positive and negative qualities and many people share a combination of more than one personality type. 

For example....

The Analytical and Amiable are less assertive and more introverted...while the Driven and Expressive are more assertive and extroverted. 

Do you like it when someone stands up for their rights or are you embarrassed when a  person causes a scene if their steak is under cooked or a person at a cocktail party makes a politically incorrect remark?   

The Analytical and Driven are more task oriented... while the Amiable and Expressive are more attentive to the emotional needs of those around them. 

Would you rather hang out with someone who is focused and achievement oriented or do you value being carefree and easy along the way? 

These are important factors in deciding who you would like to court much less commit to for a relationship of any kind!

Given your own range of emotion and thinking... introversion or extroversion... you will connect with certain personality types and clash with others... there is no cookie cutter one size fits all way to compatibility... you have to do the hard work of finding out where you stand and what you need.

You may be attracted to the Expressive personality type because they are exciting... funny and charming... yet the Expressive tend to be talkative and not a doer... low achieving... needy and flaky. 

If you value loyalty over having fun you may react by choosing to court people with the reliable and introverted Analytical personality... the Analytical personality type tends to be thoughtful... organized... dependable... quiet and high achieving... that can be the perfect antidote after a bad experience courting a mercurial Expressive... yet the Analytical also has the negative tendencies of being overly critical... sceptical... humourless and boring... you may react to the critical nature of the Analytical person by courting someone who is Amiable.

The Amiable personality type is friendly... upbeat... even tempered... non judgemental... moderately organized and agreeable... unfortunately the Amiable also tends to be indecisive... resent change and will not communicate when they are troubled... the Amiable poor communication skills and lack of goals may then motivate you to seek out a Driven person,

The Driven personality type is self assured... innovative... self motivated... stimulating and a great leader... you really go places with a driven person...  however the Driven personality type tend to also be cold blooded... manipulative... unempathetic... impatient and domineering. 

So you see through this exercise that there is no perfect person waiting for you out there... it really depends on what you value as an individual and what type of personality complements your personality best. 

Every general personality type has some repulsive elements that become very hard to ignore once the honeymoon period cools off... you must be willing with eyes wide open to accept the positive with the negative when you commit to that one person.

So keeping with the metaphor what kind of car will you be buying in future and investing your 30,000 hard earned bucks in that suits you?

Have you any idea?

And practically speaking that completes this conversation.
Thank you and may you enjoy a Prosperous and Dynamic day!

Yours Sincerely

Intellectual Badass... noun

1... A person with a penchant for Science... creativity... books... writing... communication... fitness... women... sexing... sexuality... human relationships... psychology... physiology and any other area involving heavy use of the Intellect.

2... A bright kick arse person who is a GEEK and glamorously Intelligent!

3... Ange is an Author... Speaker and Dynamic Peak Performance Personal Development Consultant... and Humanistic Counselling Psychologist and Sexologist... who works with those men and women who desire to personally develop themselves and their relationships to become Dynamic Lifers... creators of their own life and wealth! 

To Speak to Ange and arrange a consultation  CLICK HERE

"Transformation happens when people fall in love with a different version of themselves and their future!"

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