Do You Know How To Spot A Persons Underlying Character

By Ange Fonce

Do you know how to spot a person’s underlying character when you starting to get to know them?

If you do not, it is all too easy to end up with a person who is not worth your time.

Here is what I mean.

Ange and Dalia are coaches and friends. Both recently started recently getting to know each other. Like most friends, they compare notes.

The other day they were sharing time with each other, and describing what they observe about people and how a man was in a foul mood. He was not rude, yet he was short with the waiter at the restaurant and the usher who took tickets at the theater.

He even snapped at a guy in the car park.

They then shared a similar experience. A day at work went poorly and it carried throughout the entire day. And at the end of the night, he addressed it. He explained why he was in a bad mood, took responsibility for letting it affect his behavior, and apologized.

“I’m sure the guy apologized to you, too,” One said to the other.

“Nope. That’s how he usually is. He knows how to get his way. People learn not to cross him the hard way.”

Right about now, you are probably thinking the same thing that one guy was having a bad day, and that is not the norm. 

The other guy just sounds like a jerk.

Now here is an important point to remember about these forms of bahaviour... the difference between a behaviour a state versus a behaviour trait.


States and traits look similar, yet they are totally different.

States are temporary. Traits are - well, not necessary permanent, yet certainly more well-established. A state is a one-off situation, like being short because you are having a bad hair day. A trait represents a pattern of behavior. 

Happily-ever-after hinges on learning to spot the difference between the two. Fortunately, it is pretty easy to tell states and traits apart - when you know what to look for. I can help you there.

How Do They Treat Powerless People?

You can easily judge the character of a person by how they treat those who can do nothing for them. And that is true.

You can tell a lot about a person based on how they talk. Not to you, and to all the people around you. People like servers at restaurants, attendants, ticket-takers, strangers in line and check-out clerks.

Their default behavior toward these people will paint a picture. Pay attention to it. If they are kind, polite and respect people they do not have to be kind, polite and respectful to, then there is a good indicator they are a decent person.

What are they like when they are tired, stressed and hungry?

When we are tired, hungry and stressed, we become very self-focused. After all, those sensations are pretty hard to ignore. So when a person is tired and hungry, you are going to get a sneak peek at the foundations of their character.
A little crankiness is understandable. That happens to a lot of us. A full-blown meltdown is a bad sign!

The next time you and another do something active and have to wait a little longer than normal to eat or sleep, keep an eye on their mood. If they remember to be thoughtful and caring even when he or she is tired and hungry, they could be a keeper.

What Do They Do When They Screw Up?

Some people backpedal. 

They shift blame, or justify their behavior, or insist that you just do not understand the complexity of the situation. And some people acknowledge their error and apologize.

Disagreements in any kind of relationship are not pleasant, yet they can be helpful. It does not even matter who is right and who is wrong. What matters is how they treat you when he or she thinks they are right and you are wrong.

If they are honest and have integrity then and take responsibility when they screw up, hang onto that person.
I want to clarify one really important thing before closing out this topic.

Focus on finding positive traits rather than exposing negative ones.

Everyone has flaws and no one is perfect, so every man or woman is going to miss the mark sometimes. That is not necessarily how to spot a jerk be it male or female.

What you want is a man or woman whose positive characteristics shine through, even when the situation is not ideal. They show up and be there for you, they care and have respect for you, others and themselves.

Men and woman like that are out there.

And when you know what to look for, you are far more likely you will find one. I know, because I am getting to know such a woman.

If you want to know more about Gender Education For Human Relationships Coaching.

Please Contact Me to arrange a complimentary coaching session.

Have you any thoughts or comments you would like to share with me on what I have written?

I would love to hear from you.

Thank you and may you enjoy a Loving... Prosperous and Dynamic day!

Yours Sincerely

Coach Ange Fonce

Ange is an Dynamic Personal Development Coach who works with those men and women who want to personally and powerfully develop their confidence, relationships, sexing, health and wealth!

To Speak to Ange and arrange a complimentary coaching session CLICK HERE

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