Are You Desirable Relationship Woman? 

By Ange Fonce

Have you consistently ended up with men who did not see or bring out the best in you?

Then take a deep breath because you deserve a man who sees you... love and nurture you the way you would him.

Yet what if you have found yourself with a series of men who have been in some way negative... abusive... critical... controlling or in some way seriously LACKING the kind of relationship skills that are necessary for a fulfilling relationship?

If so it is possible that your own past... your thoughts and feelings are actually ATTRACTING the wrong men and that you end up becoming ATTACHED and staying in these kinds of relationships for all the wrong reasons.

Your first step if you are truly ready to put an end to this cycle is this... start saying No and radically reject these kinds of hurtful behaviours from any man... yes there are creeps out there and it is your job and yours only to say No and remove any man from your life who is not showing you he is worthy of your love and attention... when you keep going on with hurtful relationships and you go through one disastrous relationship after another the worst starts to happen for you and it turns you into someone who acts fearful... protective and defensive around any man you meet and things will only get worse for you if you let the bad relationships from your past get into the drivers seat when you finally meet a man you could have a healthy relationship with.

Do You Seem To Attract Unavailable Men? 

In this article I am going to share you why a man will act afraid of a real relationship and how lots of women both CHOOSE the wrong men and bring out the bad qualities in the right men and ruin things for themselves.

Just because you have been happily courting a man for several weeks... months or even years it does not automatically mean he is thinking or feeling commitment or seeking a deeper lasting expression of his LOVE... if you are like most women then by experience you already know this to be true and it scares you... you can spend time with a man... get close... become intimate... bond and he can still NOT WANT to enter into a relationship with you.

So why are so many men unavailable?

The short answer is because men have a different RELATIONSHIP TIMELINE for wanting to get serious with a woman and a different way of seeing how love and an exclusive committed relationship comes together... so what can you do with this?

The first thing you should know is a mans Commitment Tempo when he will want to take things to the next level with you has NOTHING to do with how long you have been together... do not get yourself hung up on this like lots of other women who try to convince a man it is time because how ever many months have already passed and he SHOULD BE ready... talking this way to a man is a great way to shoot yourself in the foot and encourage him to pull away... what matters and what works is addressing where you both are in terms of your EMOTIONAL CONNECTION instead of worrying about TIME.

If you have ever been with a man and shared something amazing for several months... grown closer and closer and then he RESISTED and WITHDREW once you actually talked about how things were moving forward between you then you know exactly what I am talking about.

Here is The Secret...

A man does not commit to a woman in a conversation or even with his words it is something he just FEELS inside and wants for himself and do you know what creates this DESIRE and FEELING inside a man?

Now let us get down to what is really going on inside your heart when it comes to men and relationships.

Here is what I would like you to know first and why is it so clear and easy for other women to fall in love with a man and for a relationship to effortlessly come together and grow while YOU keep attracting all the men out there who are unavailable and SEEM great at first and eventually get scared and just cannot go deeper with you is this unavailable thing really a problem so many men are carrying around that gets in the way of love?  

Or could it also be that YOU play a part in finding men who are unavailable and that you bring about that unavailable RESPONSE which is already lying there dormant inside even the most evolved men?

I want to share with you what could be a new and enlightening perspective on all this... there is an important realization all INTELLIGENT and LOVING women I know end up coming to at some point in their love lives... it is a light bulb that suddenly just turns on and when it does you instantly grow and see things with a new sense of CLARITY... unfortunately most women only come to this important realization AFTER they have been through the pain and frustration of doing everything they can think of to revive their relationship and failing.

I will tell you what this REALIZATION is...

It is that when you are with a man who is feeling or acting UNCERTAIN with you even if you could give him an ultimatum that would move things ahead to the place in your relationship that YOU WANT a man who moves ahead in his relationship with you because you asked him or demanded it is not very vested in the relationship

This kind of situation is a very weak and dangerous place from which to enter into a loving relationship especially for you as a woman who likely wants a man who is truly COMMITTED to being with you on a physical... mental... emotional... sexual and even spiritual level. 

Knowing this let me ask you... do men truly COMMIT and choose to love and become loyal... caring... affectionate just because a woman ASKS THEM or does a man need to have HIS OWN REASONS for being and feeling this way?

It is a VERY IMPORTANT question...

And if you have had one or more relationships where you were ready for more and the man you were with was seeming to drag his heels or just not care about your relationship and you tried to make it work and it only seemed to BACKFIRE then this question could be one of the most important questions you ever ask yourself... seriously so as a bit of homework I would like you to stop for a second and THINK ABOUT IT.

Do men truly COMMIT and choose to love and become truly loyal... caring and affectionate just because a woman ASKS IT OF THEM?

Or does a man need to have HIS OWN REASONS for truly feeling and being this way with you if it is going to LAST?

Learning About What Makes Him Commit

Let me be unusually direct with you for your own good. 

Have you finally figured out that if you do not know HOW TO GET A MAN TO OPEN UP... talk and share his deeper thoughts and feelings with you that it is going to be nearly impossible to make your relationship work... lots of women think they get how this works because they talk a lot about what is on THEIR MIND and for most women this is common.

Communication Mistake 1...

Sharing YOUR FEELINGS first and often because you think this will somehow get him to share his feelings in return... this is not a great way to get a man to open up and get in touch with his feelings as this is not his emotional process especially with a man you are in a relationship with who is already acting withdrawn and has shut off his feelings from you... this kind of MORE IS BETTER approach about talking and sharing YOUR FEELINGS actually WORKS AGAINST YOU more than it helps you with men who are acting uncertain and withdrawn.

Here is the deal if you know anything about a man then you should know that to get to know HIS FEELINGS then more talk about YOUR FEELINGS is NOT the answer which leads me to... 

Communication Mistake 2...

Out of all the things that can go wrong in a relationship I have found one that causes women more pain... frustration and leads to BAD OUTCOMES with the man in their life than anything else as I have watched it happen over and over with all the women I know... my friends... my family members... my clients... I also get lots of e mails from women who read my articles who write to tell me this all too familiar story... it is the SAME ISSUE that keeps popping up at the beginning of their romantic relationships... EXPECTATIONS!

It is when a woman expects that the relationship will progress to something more committed and ends up feeling disappointed when she finds out the man does not want the same thing and this problem usually plays itself out in one of two ways and I am sure you will identify with one if not both of these...


You know exactly what you want out of the relationship and rather than rock the boat by having a conversation in which you make your expectations clear you decide to WAIT IT OUT in that the man will soon feel the same way and that everything will just work itself out.


You know exactly what you want out of the relationship and as soon as you get the sense that the man does not share your desires or is not on the same page emotionally... you subtly and unconsciously decide to PRETEND that you are cool with things just being casual even though you know you need a lot MORE to be happy and content.

Predictably when you find yourself in either of these two scenarios it becomes a slippery slope toward ultimate relationship disaster and here is how this plays out...

First... you start feeling unfulfilled... anxious or worried that you are not getting what you want and need from the relationship.

Second... you do not know how to say what you are feeling and what you want in a mature honest way so you say nothing at all or you drop hints that are misunderstood or ignored.

Third... he does not change anything about the way he is treating you or the relationship and you become frustrated or disappointed because he does not really get what is missing and what you would like from him.

Fourth... your frustration builds up even more and either brings you to an emotionally destructive CONFRONTATION with him that FREAKS him out like an ultimatum or all the silent tension and negative feelings between you make him act distant... disconnected and maybe he even starts losing interest in you.

Remember going down this road... not fun is it so what is going on here and what can you do about it?

Stick with me here and I will reveal some basic insights about how to get a man on the same page about where your relationship is headed without all the drama... tears and frustration.

Centre yourself first and be clear about what you would like to happen.

What you have to do FIRST before you do anything else is get CLEAR about what you want and like from your love life and you need to be honest with YOURSELF first before you can be honest with anyone else in your life and stop PRETENDING you only want a casual fun fling when what you REALLY want is to have a committed relationship that is going somewhere.

Here is the thing that getting clear about what you want will help guide your mind in all kinds of POSITIVE DIRECTIONS to help you find and attract the right situations and people in your life... unfortunately being CLEAR and HONEST is not that simple for most women when the rubber meets the road in courting and relationships and the reality is knowing what they would like and what they want can turn in to a source of EXTREME frustration and anxiety for a lot of women. 

Why is that?

I will explain as expectations can definitely set you off in good directions in your life and when you do not feel like you have the CONTROL over how to get those expectations met and when you hit the road the wheels really start to come off the car so to speak.

Okay so let us get back the concept of expectations and disappointment... a woman may feel like the man she is courting is The One and she can see things getting much more committed... serious and she also senses she does not have the right tools or skills to know how to COMMUNICATE those desires to the man in a positive way.

Simply put the woman is AFRAID that approaching the man with a heavy talk will either scare him away or she herself does not know what taking it to the next level really means to HIM and why he would want this and how to go about talking about it in a way that builds trust and makes him want to open up and share so she avoids telling the man what she is really thinking and feeling about their relationship so instead she starts to accept or downplay the little disappointments she feels until one day she finally wakes up and realizes that she does not have the kind of relationship she THOUGHT she would have with this man and she is just not happy with herself or the situation... sometimes this awakening does not even happen until after the man cheats or leaves... ouch!

Men can act more than a little insensitive to all of this and even act like TOTAL IDIOTS when it comes to appreciating and respecting the great relationship you already have together... hang on a moment let us just simplify things and boil it down to that one thing that is the cause of all the trouble and confusion...

Your Fears

The unfortunate truth is that a lot of women do not want to dig deeper into what a man truly wants because of their own fears and they are AFRAID of finding out the truth about what a man truly feels about them and their future together and the most dreaded fear of all... Rejection and Abandonment and these two things are SO STRONG and POWERFUL that something fascinating happens in the womans mind when there is even a small potential for either of these... your mind starts a cycle of SELF DECEPTION.

Here is how it works... 

The fear of pain and loss often leads you to ignore your thoughts and intuition and replace your fearful thoughts with happier thoughts that make you feel comfortable... it is the minds emotional defence mechanism and I know you felt this before.

How many times have you been unsure deep down about the man you are seeing and instead of examining those doubts and finding a way for you to deal with your own feelings you decided to actually BUILD HIM UP to your friends and family as being a wonderful catch because you did not want to face some of the problems lurking deep in the back of your mind?

You thought that you would help things out by telling yourself that what you wanted to be true is to be TRUE and sometimes in the process of making up these new truths you even start to convince YOURSELF that he is a better man than he actually is or maybe you have been in a situation where you have had no indication that the man you are courting wants any kind of serious relationship and you choose to think that you are building a committed relationship as things slowly and naturally escalate and making those assumptions without the basis of direct communication can lead to BIG TROUBLE down the road... save yourself the wasted energy and the broken heart.

Remember a man cannot read your mind or know all that is in your heart and if you are carrying around pain or fear it is surely getting in the way of a man seeing the beautiful and real you underneath that he would want to know and love so do not keep a man from seeing the best of the real you that is inside so make it easy for him and for you.

Discovering How He Is Feeling

Here is a question that is probably already on your mind... 

How can you be sure you are involved with the RIGHT man and know how he is feeling and if he shares your goals and desires?

The answer is HONESTY.

HONESTY is one of the most liberating and valuable traits to develop and it is even more valuable when you are courting and do you know what else?

It FEELS REALLY GOOD to be completely open and honest... plus even when it seems like it would push you and a man apart it has an amazing way of bringing you closer together and building more love... trust and intimacy only if you know how to share your thoughts and honest feelings in a way that SERVES YOU and your relationship.

And not all communication is equal as you can MEAN something and depending on how you share it with someone... it can either be received as loving and positive or as NEGATIVE and CRITICAL so how is what you are feeling being RECEIVED and how does this relate to the way you choose to COMMUNICATE what you are feeling?

The way you communicate your goals and desires with a man is something important that you might have got mixed up inside your head as a woman in relationships with men where they would not listen... it is okay to like what you would what you like and to let a man know it in fact it is a MUST and it is okay to tell a man that his behaviour does not match with what you feel your bounderies are.

For Example...

If a woman is honest and up front about what she would like from a man in a way that says that she is not too attached to the immediate outcome and she subtly lets him know that he better have his act together or else it can take the usual teeth pulling talk into an opportunity for building attraction and a deep source of commitment with a man and remember YOU CANNOT FAKE IT you have to be in a place where you truly think that you will find and meet your love and relationships with or without the man who is there in front of you right then no matter how much you love him.

That means you have to be in the right frame of mind and state in your heart BEFORE you start the conversation with him and most women are not in the right frame of mind because they are afraid and they have tricked themselves into thinking that their intimate feelings for a man will scare him off... it is not honesty that will scare him off it is the negative... fearful and anxious vibe that you unknowingly give off before you finally EXPLODE because you can no longer hide how you feel from the man you are with and that is what scares some men off and makes them clam up.

The amazing thing is that men crave HONEST women who are up front about who they are and what they would like in relationships and the key is to know the RIGHT WAY to communicate these things without going over the top.

Remember if you communicate with a man in a way that assumes... begs... convinces or makes him think that you are entitled to a relationship and a commitment with him he will NEVER EVER respect you and want to stay for the long term.

You might get what you want in the short term if he gives in to your wishes just to avoid a conflict and trust me you are headed for MUCH bigger problems in the future or worse you will get what you want NOW after he has spent the past months or even  YEARS secretly SEETHING WITH RESENTMENT towards you and that is not good.

Give him a good reason WHY he would want to COMMIT to you as you just cannot talk a man into wanting to commit to you by listing all the ways your relationship is special as this is something VERY IMPORTANT to remember when it comes to men and relationships you have to give a man the right REASONS for him to make HIMSELF committed and becoming deeply committed does not often just happen with the passing of time for a man and he will not want to commit just because it has been six months or a year or even longer and he will not commit to you because you explain how you think you are better than all the women he has courted or because you have such a great connection he is going to commit for his own reasons... so what are those reasons?

They are very complex if you do not understand them and yet mens emotions can be  simple at the same time and a mans reasons for committing or not committing are his FEELINGS and EMOTIONS... sounds simple and it is profound and true despite all the myths about men and their FEELINGS!

The masculine part of a man has to FEEL like he is naturally and of his own free will CHOOSING to be with a woman and when this happens his commitment will usually be strong and lasting and if a man commits because a woman has been talking to him and analysing things to show him how a relationship really makes sense then his commitment will not be strong and it probably will not last so do you see the difference?

A mans motivation for commitment is how a woman makes him FEEL when he is with her. 

And if you want him to respond and have committed feelings for you then you need to do more of the things that will make him FEEL the desire... interest and attraction that lead him to want to commit... still with me here?

WORDS and conversations are the LEAST powerful and effective tools that a woman has when it comes to love and relationships as the FEELINGS of ATTRACTION that she can create sometimes without even speaking are the MOST POWERFUL... you can literally have a man who was not totally feeling it for you suddenly take notice and see and recognize the things inside you he simply did not look for or see before and this is a great first step that you can quickly build on as a man starts to see you as the one woman he wants as his one and only partner so do not wait for this all to happen on its own when you know what you would like you can make it happen.

Now I was only able to give a few simple tips and insights on how to better connect with a man in a way that will lead you both closer together and help him not only talk and to  FEEL committed as well.

As I mentioned in this article there is a very powerful force that makes a man want to commit to YOU and ONLY YOU and that is the natural and unmistakable force of lasting ATTRACTION and I am definitely not just talking about the physical kind of attraction which is definitely powerful in itself yet in itself will not make a relationship LAST and THRIVE as the kind of attraction I am talking about is DEEPER and EMOTIONAL

Want Your Man To Be More Romantic?

What you probably do not realize is that all men are romantic what they lack is guidance and proper feedback and once you have developed the skills it is so simple to have men to show their romantic nature and yet a woman can easily suck the romantic life out of any man without even knowing what is going on.... I see it happen ALL THE TIME and if your man is not as romantic as you want him to be there is most likely something that you are doing or not doing that can be changed.

A woman can VERY EASILY bring out the inner romantic in her man with the right techniques as it is about the things you do and the things you say and the way you carry yourself that make a man go nuts with desire to be around you.

If you are intrigued by this idea and want to learn everything there is to know about what makes you IRRESISTIBLE to a man I know you will not be disappointed by all the life changing insights you will gain and the man you are close to will love you for it.

As always leave a man or woman all the better for knowing you.

Have you any thoughts or comments you would like to share with me on what I have written?

I would love to hear from you.

Thank you and may you enjoy a Loving... Prosperous and Dynamic day!

Yours Sincerely

Dynamic Lifer... The Tribe of Dynamic Lifers

1... A person with a penchant for Science... creativity... books... writing... communication... fitness... women... sexing... sexuality... human relationships... psychology... physiology and any other area involving heavy use of the Intellect.

2... A bright person and glamorously Intelligent!

3... Ange is an Author... Speaker and Dynamic Peak Performance Personal Development Consultant and Coaching Psychologist... Sexologist and Multipreneur... who works with those men and women who desire to personally develop themselves and their relationships to become Dynamic Lifers... creators of their own life... relationships and wealth! 

4... If you are Happy and you Know it... you are becoming a Dynamic Lifer!

To Speak to Ange and arrange a consultation for what you would like help with CLICK HERE

"Transformation happens when people fall in love with a different version of themselves and their future!" 

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