Always The Bridesmaid Never The Bride 

By Ange Fonce

There is a time in many womens lives where the thought is... 

"I am NEVER going to find a good man to fall in love with me and have a family."

That is because so many women keep ending up in dead end relationships with men who did not really love them the way they deserved to be loved... they claimed they loved you... and would leave you for ANOTHER woman they would then marry... or they tell you after months or years of being “friends with benefits” that you was a great "friend" and they are leaving you. 

I have a question though... is it always the mans fault?

You see... many women waste a LOT of time when they are younger chasing after or pining away for relationships that were NEVER going to work... that were ALWAYS going to cause you to feel unloved and unappreciated... it was not so much that you picked the wrong men... it was really that you did not know how to recognize when a man was not really ATTRACTED to you on an emotional level in the first place.

You did not know the difference between being loved "as a friend" and being loved by a man who would change his life to make you happy and commit to you.

So you wasted a lot of time trying to be more attractive... manipulating the situation... pining away and generally making yourself miserable... not much helped... you have to do something... because you really want that kind of warm... supportive and loving relationship with a man... you want a man to appreciate you for a change.

Have you found yourself feeling alone and unappreciated because the man you are with keeps telling you he is "not sure" about what he is feeling... or what he wants?

Do you do MORE for your boyfriend or husband... only to get much LESS back in terms of how much support... attention and affection he gives you?

Why does it have to be so difficult... why can you not just be yourself... be loving... and get the love you deserve?

The problem basically is that as a woman in modern society... you have been sold a pretty defective "bill of goods" when it comes to knowing what men want... or what it takes to gain a mans heart and keep him attracted to you.

For example... 

Women are told that being "sex kittens" is the way to attract and keep a man... nothing can be further from the truth... you may attract a man PHYSICALLY... and you will never "get" a man to fall in love and STAY in love with you... no matter how good you are in bed.

You are made to think that you have to look like models and have the charisma of movie stars to attract a man or get his interest... wrong here... too... if you read how often movie stars get divorced... you will realize that looks are not enough to keep a man in love and passionate about you.

You think if you are smart and witty... he will be dying to spend time with you... actually... if the only way you are attracting men is because you are so informed and intelligent... you will probably notice that you have a lot of men "friends"... and not one of them is wanting to actually “court” you and devote his heart to you... there is something else that attracts a man to you?

Your Femininity is your “greatest asset!”

Yet do you know and understand how to use your Femininity to totally WOW a man?

The Dynamic Skill Of Communicating Effectively With Men

Do you know what the single MOST IMPORTANT SKILL to have in a relationship with a man is?

Do you know that 80% of the reason a relationship succeeds or fails is a result of the subtle "indirect" things you and a man communicate to each other?

The truth is that many women do not even know what the most important parts of this "indirect" communication are... and how it all works... to make sure you stay close and deeply connected with the man in your life through even in the toughest of times... you need to master the skill of what I call Emotional Awareness.

Learn how this has the power to save or destroy your relationship right here where I explain the big stuff you need to know about... OK... now a quick quiz for you.

Do you know what the single MOST IMPORTANT SKILL to have in a relationship with a man is... the one skill that underlies EVERYTHING... and is proven to be the ultimate "make it or break it" part of a long term relationship or marriage?

Take a moment to think about what this one absolutely critical skill is... are you having a think... figured it out yet?

Is it the skill of knowing how to keep a fulfilling life of your own while in a serious relationship?

No... it is not.

Is the skill taking responsibility for your own happiness first?

No... not that either.

Or is it keeping the passion alive and making sure he is "sexually satisfied" with you so that he wants to stay with you and only you?

The answer is that the most crucial skill is none of these things.

The single most important thing you will ever need to know if you want to have a LASTING and SECURE RELATIONSHIP with a man is... the skill of knowing how to CONNECT and COMMUNICATE with a man Emotionally and Psychologically.

And notice I said... "with a MAN."

Now... it might sound simple... yet do not be fooled here and make the mistake most women make thinking they know what they are doing when it comes to how men think about talking and sharing in a relationship with a woman... see... most women like to think that they are great communicators because they can SHARE HOW THEY FEEL... and do so often... with other women!

Yet this does this get them the kind of LISTENING and UNDERSTANDING that they want from the one man they want it with?

For an overwhelming majority of women... the answer is NO... it does not... and if you think about it... the numbers do not add up here.... here is what I mean...

The ART of COMMUNICATING EFFECTIVELY with Men.

If you are like most women... and you are a great communicator and like to talk and share... then it makes sense that you should have an amazing level of communication going on in your relationships... right?

And you probably do...  mostly though with THE WOMEN in your life... hint hint... think about it... has the penny dropped yet?

I mean... does not great communication mean that you are able to create the SITUATION or the "environment" where both parties can talk... listen... understand each other... and share?

That is what being a great communicator is all about... being the one to "facilitate" understanding and sharing... and LISTENING!

Then why is it that so many women who are great communicators with other women... seem to be the ones who have UNSATISFYING and FRUSTRATING relationships that have little or no TWO WAY COMMUNICATION with the man in their lives?
 
Following me here?

Something is off.

Women who do not understand how to genuinely connect with and understand men are always chalking up the poor level of communication to THE MAN in their life... they see it all as a function of how he has STOPPED TALKING AND SHARING with them... now... this is at least partly true... communication is a two way street... and a man is equally responsible for keeping a relationship going strong.

And here is WHAT REALLY MATTERS... what does the situation mean where a man shuts off... if you really are a great communicator?

It means that you have an opportunity to use your knowledge and SKILLS to quickly "facilitate" a new kind of conversation that will "re engage" a man and immediately open the doors of LISTENING and UNDERSTANDING back up between you both.

It Only Takes ONE To Create POSITIVE Change!

The reality is... IT IS POSSIBLE to create near INSTANT CHANGE when you know how to communicate and connect with someone in the right way.

And when you start to learn how all this works, and how to quickly and easily connect with anyone on a deep level at any time... something very powerful starts to happen for you... you start to harness the power of creating a strong "connection" between you and a man in each critical moment in your relationship... and what is even better... you start to enjoy the benefits of how a deep level of connection can immediately transform everything about how you are with each other.

In other words... that strong and powerful "connection" that you build actually safeguards you when the bad times and the tough times come and go... and it is AMAZING when you can experience this and feel the joy... the fulfillment... and the SECURITY and CERTAINTY that it brings.

Now... since we have touched on all this about the skill of creating a deep level of connection through communication... I would like to ask you... do you have this CRITICAL SKILL right now?

Can you create the change and the growth you want in your relationship from your own ability to communicate and connect with HIM... or are you waiting for him to figure out how to reconnect with you... so he will pull you and your relationship out of the "funk" that it has fallen into?

Do you feel STUCK as you are constantly trying to reconnect... and the more you seem to try and talk... the more he seems to pull away... the more he feels you are "nagging" him?

If you do not have this skill we have been talking about... then I think you are starting to see that you will constantly be at the mercy of whether or not a man chooses to feel like opening up to you or not... and as you might already know... it is in a mans nature to want to "shut off" a lot of times... even when things matter most in your relationship and you need to talk.

In fact... a man can go for days... weeks... months... even years without feeling the need or desire to really open up and share what is going on inside... so knowing all this now... I would like to ask you something important...

What are you going to do about figuring out how to easily connect and stay connected to the man you love going forward in the future... are you "waiting it out" and that maybe he pulls himself out of it for the sake of your relationship... is it going to be fighting against his lack of connection and emotional distance by telling him he is wrong and that he is ruining your relationship?

Not good moves... he will just withdraw all the more or end up fighting with you... or is your strategy to reconnect and communicate with him now even when he is NOT communicating with you... how do you think either of these are going to work out for you?

And here Ladies let me give you a "gold nugget" of advice from a Man!

Try this kind of "behaviour" on to often with a Man... especially a Man with high self worth and esteem... and you will be gone... such Men do not need "moody women" who try to manipulate them in their life... maybe you might already know that they are NOT going to work for you from personal experience.

That is why I would NOT recommend these approaches in a relationship with a man... even though they happen to be two of the most common "strategies" women take when they want to improve their relationship and the level of communication that is happening.

And that is "why" you end up in a fight with your man... and him eventually leaving you.

Do not keep feeling scared... anxious... and UNCERTAIN about whether or not a man is going to close off in the future and stay that way until you are left with an empty shell of a relationship.

It is time you started creating your own life and relationship that is not determined by whether or not a man feels like closing off or not... and that is where I can help. 

Your First Step In A New Direction...

The first step I want you to take might sound a bit extreme at first... and you might even resist it out of frustration... your first and most important step is going to be the step that changes everything and frees you up to regain your "centre" inside you... and your own power as a woman.

The First Step... I want you to take is to finally take complete and TOTAL PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY for creating the kind of communication you would like to have in your life... and with a man in your relationship.

In other words... I want you to forget about blaming... criticizing, and living in the past... and I want you to start communicating in the way you know that someone who is both loving and trusting would communicate.

And that is how I want you to begin talking and connecting with the man in your life... you have the power to create what you want and create CHANGE in the people around you... when you show up and do this... it will send a clear... subtle... and irrefutable message to the man in your life.

He will sense something has changed immediately... all the frustration and blame you have been feeling that still has not CHANGED THINGS will fall away and simply disappear... and a man will instantly notice and wonder what has changed inside you... and he will be drawn to you again... he will be curious... he will be wanting to know what is going on.

Your Second Step "The Shift"...

The next step is to make sure that you know what to do with this "new space" and environment for connection you have created between you and a man... and this is where it becomes absolutely critical that you have your act together when it comes to being able to COMMUNICATE in a way that builds connection and understanding.

There is something important you need to understand... your relationship... and the communication you and a man share in a relationship... are often a series of patterns... he acts distant... you feel unheard... or unappreciated... he withdraws more... you try and talk him out of it or get him to open up... he resists and pulls away.

YOUR pattern might be somewhat different... and the truth is that you have patterns of your own with a man... in psychological terms they are called "sub conscious biases."

When you take the first step and become responsible for creating the kind of connection and communication you want... you actually get to BREAK your pattern... I call this "the shift" because you can actually FEEL that something is different inside in the way you and your man are around each other... and not just with your man either!
 
Even though it sounds like a whole lot of work... and I will be sincere with you... it can be... yet when you invest the time to “change” your “communication patterns” with men... the results are “dramatic!" 

I can help you understand what is really happening "beneath the surface" when you are talking with a man... and it will take you inside his mind so you know where he is coming from and how to use it to create a stronger bond with him.

It will not only help you get a clear handle on why a man is not hearing you... and also show you how to easily get across what you are thinking and feeling in a way that a man is sure to HEAR and UNDERSTAND... more importantly... you will learn how to respond to in an open and supportive way... the difference in how a man responds to you... is often a "shift" in your “communication patterns”... and these “changes” can make ALL THE DIFFERENCE.

Here is something I want you to think about...

Your relationship is NOT set in stone... in fact... it is actually made up of a huge collection of tiny moments... of feelings... of connections... which means... you have the power to dramatically change the quality of your relationship and what you experience in it by finally CHOOSING and learning how to CREATE the moments you want to share.

First you have got to learn how to get started... once you know how it works... and practice... the way in which you “communicate” and “connect” with men becomes second nature and it becomes easy... if you really want to create a successful relationship... now is your chance to change your life and the kind of communication and connection you share with a man.

What is that worth to you?

It is probably pretty priceless... so do not keep yourself from the love.... happiness... and security you could have when it is right in front of you... the sooner you learn what it takes to communicate with a man and get the RESPONSE that you want... him being open... supportive... loving... understanding... the sooner you will be able to start enjoying a relationship you can have real CONFIDENCE and SECURITY in.

After all... would it not be better to be telling your girlfriends about how wonderful your man is... and you are going to be the “bride” and getting married!

Instead of brooding over why you are always the “bridesmaid”... and how it is holding you back... not being able to “communicate” and “connect” with a mans “heart” in love

Thank you for reading this article and joining me... I will talk to you again soon. 

As always... leave a man or woman all the better for knowing you.

Masculine Men and Feminine Women know and are the EXCEPTIONS!

They are truly Passionate and DYNAMIC Lovers!

Yours Sincerely

Ange Fonce

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