Advanced Dynamic Sex For Intimate Lovers.
The Art and Pleasure of "Fisting!"

Please Be Aware that this article contains images of an intimate nature

There are many people who have never heard of fisting, or have no idea what is really involved. 
There are two types of fisting, vaginal and anal, this article is focused on vaginal fisting. 
First off, I would like to bust the biggest myth about fisting. 
It is NOT true that your partner must be "well used", or "worn out" in order to insert your fist. 
The human vagina is incredibly resilient, and muscle tone allows women to give birth, but also to tighten down enough to grasp a finger. 
Fisting can be an intense sexual experience for both partners, one that requires a lot of trust, communication, time and lube.
First of all, your goal when fisting a partner should be to cause no damage, not just to minimize damage. 
Like any other kind of anal or vaginal play, fisting should not cause pain or serious physical trauma. 
Pain or severe discomfort is a sign that your body is not ready or relaxed enough for this type of play. 
It is extremely important for both partners to communicate to each other about this and to stop if the partner who is being penetrated feels any pain. 
Sometimes, even if you have fisted or been fisted by a partner before, the body will just not be able to accept a whole hand, and the best thing to do in that case is to acknowledge that it’s not going to happen and move on to another type of enjoyable play. 
Never force the process.
Second, realize that fisting is indeed a process.
You are not going to squeeze your hand into someone’s body cavity without a lot of warm-up. 
You can begin with some non-penetrative activities that will get blood moving to the recipient’s pelvis-any kind of genital or anal stimulation that they find enjoyable.
A word of caution, the skin of the vaginal lips, as well as the interior skin is very sensitive, and prone to small tears, unless caution (and patience) is used, infection can occur with these tears. 
Things will go smoothly if both partners are patient, and some simple precautions are observed. 
First, it is important for the fister to thoroughly wash his or her hands. 
It is also helpful if the fistee is shaved, or at least trimmed of pubic hair. 
The fister must also make sure that the fingernails are trimmed, and have no ragged edges.

There are four ground rules:

Rule 1: Patience
Almost everyone with a can be fisted. 
However, not every vagina can be fisted by every hand, and not every vagina can be fisted right away. 
Sometimes, a hand is just too big, and no matter how much lube, relaxation, laughter, trust, patience, time, fun, etc there is, it’s not going to happen.
That said, most people can make it work with their chosen partner. 
This does not mean that it will happen overnight. 
Sometimes it will. 
Sometimes it can take a few tries. 
And sometimes, this is a months long endeavour. 
Each woman's body is very different, and so is her ability to be fisted.  
So do not try to hurry it, to force it, anything like that.

Rule 2: It is a journey, not a goal
Your body knows what is up; it is connected to your brain.  
So when you think “ok, I HAVE to have that whole hand in here tonight, no matter what,” your vagina might be like “Um, ‘scuse me, but HELLLL NO.”  
The more pressure you place on yourself to have a sexual goal (orgasm, ejaculation, fisting, etc), often times the more it stresses you out, begins to shut your body down, and make it impossible. 
Fisting IS another way of sharing "sexual intimacy", let it be one of those things that is fabulous if/when it does happen, but is not the end all, be all of sex.  
Have fun getting two fingers in, fucking with three, exploring with four.  
A whole hand is cool, but it is not everything. 
Enjoy exploring each other, and if fisting happens, then great.

Rule 3: Lube
People always laugh when I say this, but I am dead serious.  
Some women produce a lot of natural juices, some women don’t (for various reasons; allergy meds, hormonal birth control, stress, etc). 
Natural lubrication is NOT an indication of turned on a woman is. 
If you really want to know if she is excited, and her sounds and actions do not help you know, 
ASK HER. 
Don’t use her natural juices as a barometer.
That said, fisting requires lube. 
Natural juices are great, but over time, women tend to run out, dry up a little, your hand (if you are not wearing a glove) absorbs a lot of her natural juices, it gets sticky, there is not as much as you would like.  
And so on.  
So get some. 
Both water based and silicone based lube are great for fisting; usually, the thicker, the better. 
I personally love Maximus, which is a gel-like water based, glycerin free lube in an easy access pump bottle. 
Sliquid Organics is a great all natural lube, and Eros Bodyglide is my favourite silicone lube.
Make sure it is within easy access, because you only have one free hand. 
Pump tops are great, otherwise, remove the top before you begin. 
Make sure you have lube all the way around your hand, and keep adding as needed. 
If water-based lube dries out, just add water (spit, squirt gun, spray bottle, etc) to reactivate it. 
If you still need more lube, add more. 
It is very difficult to have TOO much lubrication during fisting.
As a side note, using latex or nitrile gloves during fisting can make it an even better experience. 
You do not have to worry about rough skin or hang nails hurting the fistee, and the fister’s hand won’t get all prune-y.  
Also, gloves do not absorb lube, so a little bit will go a longer way. 
And of course, gloves are great for having safer sex, so you are not worrying about the transfer of any fluids.

Rule 4: Communicate
You HAVE to communicate, especially the first couple of times you do this. 
This is NOT the time to try out the new ball gag and bondage. 
Communicate.  
Talk, feel, touch. 
However you and your partner communicate, make sure you do it.  
Have the fistee let the fister know how things are going, whether they need more time/stimulation/lube before moving to the next level, or whether they want the fister to go all the way. 
Make sure the fister communicates whether they are getting a hand cramp,getting tired, need a drink of water, etc. 
You think I’m joking, but when you are trying to stick a whole hand into a relatively small hole, communicating is really really important.
Once you get towards the very end, when it’s almost all the way in, many fisters like to check in with the fistee, asking them whether they should push their whole hand in past that stubborn area, or whether the fistee wants to ease them self down onto the fisters hand. 
It can go either way, but make sure both of you know which it is going to be; other wise, it can be a bit awkward.

Fisting Method
When she is ready for penetration, insert one or two fingers into your lovers vagina and massage your partner internally to begin to relax the PC and/or sphincter muscles. 
It is important to use lots of lubricant during this process! 
Your partner can let you know when they are ready for three or four fingers. 
You will find it easiest to insert your fingers in a “V” shape, with all four fingers coming together in a point like a bird’s beak. 
At this point, your fingers are not in any way in the shape of a fist!
The most intense part of the process, and the point at which many men and women get stuck and realize that they may have to stop, is inserting the thumb (again in a “V” shape with the rest of the fingers) and then getting past the knuckles, since this is the widest part of the hand. 
This requires a lot of relaxation on the part of the receiving lover, who may find it helpful to bear down with her PC muscles. 
Men and women with smaller hands will find this step easier to accomplish than men and women with larger hands (no surprise there). 
Once past the knuckles, the inserting lover may find that the rest of their hand is naturally pulled into the vagina and that their fingers and thumb curl into a ball.
Once the hand is inside, the lover who is being penetrated may want their partner to stop all movement, may want to rhythmically clench and release their PC muscles, or may want their partner to gently and slowly rotate their hand or lightly flex their thumb and fingers. 
Even the smallest movement may feel like an earthquake to the person being fisted. 
Experiment with what feels good in this position, including stimulation of the external genitals or other parts of the body.
Ladies, once your partners hand is all the way inside you, you may find that you have the urge to urinate, so it is usually a good idea to empty your bladder before you start, unless you are both really into water sports. 
And do not worry about telling your partner when enough is enough, give them directions, how to move their hand, how fast, how slow, how much, etc. 
Guys, no matter how much she likes your sense of humour, crude remarks or jokes are definitely NOT a good idea. 
Remember, the vagina is more muscle than anything else, and one good squeeze could injure your hand. 
A little movement can go a long way, there is no need for you to get carried away at first and just start ramming your arm in and out. 
If you are patient and take the time to let her build up, (usually after several orgasms) she may lose control and tell you just to fuck the shit out of her with your hand. 
Guys, you HAVE to LISTEN to your woman, you may be getting a charge out of this, but this is ultimately for HER pleasure! 
Another big no-no is the sudden removal of your hand. 
It was not easy to get in there, and therefore should be removed with care, again, pay attention to her reactions, know when to slow down, or take a break. 
And talk to her, let her know you are there. 
When done with care, consideration, and yes, PATIENCE, fisting can be a wonderful sexual outlet for you both.
Lovers who enjoy fisting like it because of the intense connection it can create between partners, because of the feeling of vaginal fullness created by the hand, or because the process of opening up your own or someone else’s body in this way is a unique experience. 
It’s not for everyone, and some lovers may find it impossible depending on the size of their body and the size of their partner’s hand, but it is in no way unusual or damaging. 
Remember if you cannot physical get to enjoy the intense pleasure and intimacy fisting can be.
There are so many others ways you can enjoy the intimacy and sexual experience of each other.
Fisting is just another way of experiencing the sensual-sexuality of each other.
As ever...
Always leave a man or a woman all the better for knowing you. 
Average men and women know only the rules. 
Masculine Men and Feminine Women know and are the EXCEPTIONS!
For Love, Passion and Intimacy...
Ange Fonce

RECOMMENDED FURTHER READING...


For "Dynamic Lovers" Techniques & Exercises For Better Female Orgasms Part 3 "Advanced Directed Orgasm Work"


Now in this article part 3, we go deep into "Sexual Intimacy" and "Sexuality" of your body, mind and heart.

These exercises in this article build upon the ones in the previous article part 2 "Embodiment Exercises" Get Back Into Your Orgasmic Body.

And please note: The exercises described in this article, although written in the context for male - female lovers.

Are just as powerful for fem...

Continue reading ...



Seductive & Erotic Foreplay For Advanced Lovers 
No 1 "The Art of Sensual Spanking"

I will be publishing a series of articles over the coming weeks for more confident and advanced lovers around "seduction" and "erotic foreplay" to really ramp and spice up the sexual energy before actual sexual physical love making.

While this article focuses more on the sexual aspect of spanking - something you may indulge in from time to time, it offers a unique look into why women (and men) may find spanking e...

Continue reading ...



The 3 Sex Positions That Give Her Body Shaking Orgasms

In this article I am going to share with you 3 positions that drive most women CRAZY. These positions are a sure fire way to bring your woman to some of the loudest, most intense orgasms of her life.

Most men, in their struggle to please women never understand the SPOTS that actually trigger orgasms so they flail around uselessly trying weird sexual positions that don't work.

In this article I'm going to reveal 3 very important things that w...

Continue reading ...

Please feel free to forward this article to a friend or let them know they can receive their own articles by subscribing to "Intimate Communion". I am sure they will appreciate your consideration of them."