7 Signs Of Jealousy 
And How It Can Kill Your Relationships And Ruin Your Life! 

By Ange Fonce

It is time to talk about some crystal clear ways to recognize “jealousy” when it makes an appearance in your life.

All too often “emotions” of “jealousy” come up not because a man or woman has made you "feel" this way and rather from your insecurities that may have developed over the years... and if you can pinpoint where that “jealousy” is coming from that can “help” you to work toward getting rid of that clearly “unpleasant feeling.”

So that is exactly what we will cover today.

Past experiences can mold “how” you think and “feel” so let us look at some specific types of past experiences that you may possibly have encountered along the way.  

As you read... give each point some “serious thought.”  

Can you relate to any... or even all?


Maybe Dad cheated on Mum or visa versa. 

Or perhaps uncles... grandfathers and male family friends were known to cheat on their wives or their were female members of the family cheating... for many... it was or is still seen as okay for men to cheat just as long as they did not make it obvious to the wife... friends and family... it is not so acceptable when it is the other way around when a woman cheats.

Understandably... this could lead a woman to “think” that all men cheat sooner or later.  

After all... if dad cheated on mum what is not to say that your boyfriends... husband are not going to cheat on you too?


Has your ex boyfriend... girlfriend or husband... wife cheated on you in the past?  

If so... without a doubt this can be a life changing event “emotionally” for you... since at one time or another you have put your “trust” in someone you loved... just to end up being let down and possibly “feeling” like a fool for being so “trusting.”

If this is the case... please remember that not all men and women cheat.  

And it would not be fair to punish yourself OR a great man... woman in your life just because someone else has violated your “trust.”

True... to put “trust” in someone may leave you “feeling” vulnerable. 

And, if you “know” how to pick out a great man... woman with “high character” then “trusting” him... her will become easier over time... having a man... woman in your life who is “trustworthy” can calm that nagging “feeling” of jealousy. 

Jealousy can actually become a destructive HABIT if left unchecked over time.

If your boyfriend has cheated on his ex girlfriend or wife in his past that is a very real red flag... is it not... even if it may have been YOU that he cheated on her with... let that one sink in for a minute.

Naturally this would leave a woman to worry that he may end up cheating again...and that is a reasonable expectation... as such... it is also reasonable why these intense “feelings” of jealousy can pop up each time he leave to run errands or is late come home from work... even though a man like this maybe faithful now... only “time” will help you release those “feelings” once he has proven to continuously be “trustworthy.”  

And it is going to take a LOT of “time.”

This also goes for women too who have cheated on men... it is going to take a man “time” to “trust” her and that she is faithful.

Cheating hurts EVERYONE involved.  

If you really want to avoid jealousy... the simple plan is this...avoid men and women who cheat...period.


If you have had or are having an affair on the side either now or in the past then it could cause you to worry that he or she may be doing the same also... if this rings a bell for you... have you made the personal vow to change your patterns?  

Are you "confident" you are not a "serial cheater?”   

It really is all up to you... you have the power... “knowing” that you will not make that mistake again can help ease those leftover “feelings” of "unfounded jealousy" over "time."

If you are like most men and women... you can relate pretty strongly to one or more of these first four factors I have described.


It really is “true” that our experiences in life have a lasting impact on us. 

When you have a "healthy mindset" these experiences build us up rather than leaving us damaged.

Do you let broken “relationships” you have had with men or women who turned out to be less than perfect scar you “emotionally” ... or do you treat them as “learning experiences” that will help you recognize a better man or woman in the future?

I think we all want to claim the latter... and as such... it is all the more important... amazingly so even... to root out ways jealousy can establish itself in your “mind” and wreak havoc on even a "solid relationship”... so here are are more situations to look out for...

5... You Trust Your Man or Woman... And You Do Not Trust Other Men and Women? 

The “feeling” may creep in that other men or women are out to get your lover and that he or she is weak enough to fall for it... make no mistake about it... there are women who are attracted to men who are taken and gain a thrill out of winning over another womans man and visa versa with men... and in the end... that is their problem not yours... if you are with the right man or woman... most men and women are strong enough to see what is happening and to refuse such advances... especially when their “emotional” and “physical” needs are being met...by YOU.

Men and Women who are in “healthy” and “happy relationship” do not want to jeopardize that... they are indeed as sensible and smart as you are... if you are indeed a man and woman who deserves what you want and have got it.

In most case those type of men and women would be upset that another man or woman would try to brake up their happy life.

6... Settling...

If you make the mistake of “feeling” like he or she could do better than you and has "settled" then it could stand to reason that your point of view could be that they are waiting for someone better to come along... that is a "horrible feeling"... is not it?

You are left always wondering who they would rather be with... or perpetually worried that a more suitable man or woman will show up tomorrow... the real question is... does he "feel" like he or she is really settling or is the reality that they indeed do not see you as that great man or woman in their life? 

If he or she telling you so... or better yet acting like it is so... why not take them at face value?  

He or she really could “think” you are the greatest man or woman they have ever met... you “know” if this is the case and you can “trust it”... your way of “thinking” on this matter could in time push them away... remind yourself that he or she chose you over of all the other millions of other men and women on this planet.  

Now as a rational human being... they probably knew what he or she was doing... and  if you find that he or she is “feeling” like maybe they has settled than now is the time to found out what is missing in the “relationship”...  perhaps it is an easier fix than you might “think.”  

For example... maybe they would like more “excitement” and more “time” with you... an easy fix in that situation is to make sure you have at least one night a week or drive to an interesting place you both have never been before every once in a while. 

7... Low Personal Esteem... 

Do you ever get the "feeling" that another women is prettier or even better than you or another man is more handsome and better than you... or a man or woman is fitter and better looking?

I am sure you have been there at one time or another... I know I have in the past.. while this point is similar to the one above... it really is a separate subject unto itself... and a man or woman with "low personal esteem" by definition "thinks" and "feels" that others are always better than they are.  

Since you see the world though your own eyes that is “how” you tend to “perceive” the world to be in everyone elses eyes also... which is not “true”... so in a man or woman with "low personal esteem mindset”... will not be able to see themselves as better than they see themselves... it is not until you can see yourself the way your partner sees you that you can “feel” more secure.

Now another problem with "low personal esteem" is that it there are often past experiences like I talked about above and last time that negative events have happened... those experiences add to the stress of jealousy... unfortunately a current boyfriend or girlfriend who is “trustworthy” and “faithful” can get accused of cheating based solely on unresolved issues you are dealing with... that is not fair to him or her... and if you “think” about it it is not very fair to you either.  

How will you ever discover a good man or woman if you always “think” the worst of every man and woman you meet?

If you find that you are experiencing any of these issues I have covered in this article so far... then it is important to work on resolving them... you will find that your “relationship” and your life itself can only become happier... understanding “why” you are jealous is a start... and it is not so easy to just say "stop being jealous" is it? 

After all sometimes there is a “reason” for what you are “feeling”... so let us move on and discuss when “feelings” of jealousy are well founded and signal very real problems that you should be ready to deal with... the definition of "jealousy" in the context of a “relationship” is the fear of losing someone you love or someone who is important to you... as is the case in a “relationship”...  jealousy it often accompanied by anger... sadness... stress and anxiety... it can happen whether you have a reason to be jealous or not.

It is indeed "true" that many men and women are jealous without any objective cause... allowing their active imaginations to lead them to “think” their man or woman is cheating... sadly this destroys any possibility of a blissful and “healthy relationship”... and sometimes this can even cause a man or woman whose intention was originally to be faithful to their partner to decide to cheat so that they are at least guilty of the crime that they are being accused of!

And what if the cheating is very clear and cannot be denied... what about the man or woman whose intuition is speaking to them as a direct result of their partner cheating on them... are they wrong for “feeling” that way?

It is completely natural to “feel” jealous when those “feelings” are real and tangible reasons to suspect your partner maybe cheating... your “gut feeling” will alert you when something is wrong... and you should take note of it... especially if you do not typically gravitate toward being suspicious in your “relationships”... notice I said "take note of it" rather than "jumping to conclusions” and “acting” on it...   the problem is that not everyone has that “gut feeling” or “intuition” if you will... so  fine tuned.   

So “how” is it possible to “know” if your “intuition” is protecting you or disrupting your “relationships?”

Your “gut feeling” should be used as a signal that something is wrong... whether it is actually the man or woman you are with or something else that is causing the “feelings”...  and finding which it is... is “important” in order to get rid of it and move forward with a “happy relationship.”

What then... does unhealthy jealousy look like anyway?  

Before I answer that... here is a Quiz for you... take your “time” to “think” about the situations I am sharing before giving your answers... please also keep in “mind” that I am referring in the following scenarios to men and women who have not shown any evidence of cheating.

Have you found yourself in one or more of the following situations... if so... which answer best describes your reaction?


Question 1...  

Your boyfriend... girlfriend left to go to the grocery store to buy one item needed to cook dinner... it usually takes 30 minutes to drive there and back... not counting the time at the store... it has been an hour and a half.

A...  You are imagining who he or she might have stopped to see on the way there... with each minute going by you are getting more and more upset and when he... she gets home an argument starts and ruins the evening.

B...  You are just simply upset... until he... she finally gets back with several big bags of groceries.

C... You did not “think” anything of it... in fact... you did not even notice “how” much “time” had elapsed.

Question 2... 

You are at a restaurant... and your boyfriend...girlfriend is looking past your shoulder... what is your immediate reaction?

A... You turn around to see what beautiful woman he is looking at or handsome man she is looking at... and you are expecting to see a pretty woman there... or a good looking man there and you notice one and an argument ignites causing a scene about “why” he or she is looking at him... her.

B... You turn around to see what beautiful woman he is looking at or that she is looking at a handsome man and once he... she points out a funny sign on a wall... you both laugh.

C... You look with curiosity to see what is so interesting in that direction... honestly not “knowing” what it might be.
Question 3... 

You have a bad dream... in which he...she was running around with other men...women... what is your reaction after you wake up?

A... You wake him... her up and chastise them strongly for cheating on you in your dream... and please do not laugh at this one... seriously I have had this done to me and it is a crazy place to be in!

B... You are upset and wonder if it means anything and understand that it was just a dream... you take time to calm down and let it go.

C... You simply ignore it.

Question 4... 

He... she went to the restroom and left their phone behind... what do you do?

A... You go through his...her phone list and caller ID of recent calls expecting to find evidence of conversations with tons of other men... women... and upon discovering them... you plan to write their numbers down to call them later.

B... You briefly scan their Caller ID history and their contact history because curiosity gets the best of you.

C... Mobile phones are private property... so you respect their privacy and leave the phone on the table where they left it.

Final Results...

Which letter did you end up choosing the most when answering?

Mainly  A...  You are feeling intense jealousy... with or without cause.

Mainly  B...  You have a clear concern or uneasiness about losing them.

Mainly  C...  You feel “confident” that the “relationship” is “healthy”... and this is were you always want to be.

As you probably work out... a single letter "A" response is extreme and let us face it... we all have met someone who falls into this category.

And what about answering "B" for any of the scenarios above... could that still possibly be considered being jealous without reason?

The answer is "yes" because in the above situations the man... woman involved still did not give any actual... “realistic reason” to be jealous... this kind of jealousy slowly deteriorates your “relationship” over “time” causing you to lose the very thing you fear losing the most... your boyfriend...girlfriend... husband... wife...lover!

So having been though jealousy... do you “feel confident” you can “trust” your “gut instincts” and recognize “valid feelings” of “jealousy” while sorting out the “unreasonable ones?”  

Are you experiencing problems with "jealousy... insecurity" and “low personal esteem” and you would like "help" to deal with these real problems?

You can Contact me.

Thank you and may you enjoy a Prosperous and Dynamic day!

Yours Sincerely

Ange is an  Author... Speaker... and Dynamic Peak Performance Personal Development Consultant... and Humanistic Counselling Psychologist and Sexologist... who works with men and women who desire to "personally develop" themselves and their "relationships" to become Dynamic Lifers... "creators" of their own life and wealth! 


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