5 Things You Are Best To Be Honest About With Sexing
And Intimacy In Relationships

By Ange Fonce

Do not let the skeletons in your closet ruin your “intimate relationship.”

Men and women whose lives revolve around “hidden secrets” and stuff swept under the carpet have a much harder time “connecting” with others on an “authentic level” because they are so busy trying to keep up with the last “lie” they told... the last “deception” they done... the last “secret” they kept from the other.

It is a hard thing to keep continually keep doing that and it destroys the “trust” in “relationships”... and there are 5 common secrets both men and women genuinely have that you best come clean with... while some men and women may be unable to deal with them... experience has shown me if you have “invested” in a “relationship”... being “sincere” about these “problems” will not only “benefit” you... they will “benefit” your “relationship” as a whole... as both men and women will “naturally” look to “help” you out of your pain. 

Read on to see the “5 common lies” you would “best” to be “truthful” about...

1... Admit To Your Porn Addiction And You Have A Problem With Porn...

Pornography can wreak havoc on an “intimate relationship”... some men and women find porn a “difficult subject” to talk about... because so many men and a lot of women watched porn as a child or a young person... it has become a “learned behaviour” that you just never “unlearned” because it has such a strong “habit” in your life. 

What happens is you become “dependent” on porn for “excitement” and “energy” and your “lover” becomes an “afterthought”... because few men and women bring to the “intimate relationship” what you watch in a mainline porn video.... pornography is about playing to the “neurotic tendencies” of you as man  or woman... which is to say that the best selling X rated videos have the same components... women who are vocal about “pleasure”... and “sexing” that is hot and sweaty... and a man who most often has a huge penis and  lasts way longer than any of us could imagine... you never get to "see” all the tricks they employ to make a porno... and “how” much of the “performance” is “acting!” 

Those three concepts “contextualize” the “desires” of most men and a lot of women... you want a man or a woman who tells you that what you are doing “feels good”... you want “sexing” that is quick... fast... and volcanic... and lastly you want to last longer than he or she needs you to in order to get him or her to the point where he or she has an “orgasm” during “sexing”... in other words “sexing” has become a “contextualized” experience in your “imagination”... more than the REAL experience... with a REAL lover. 

Remedy... admit that you have a “problem” and seek “help.”
2...  Admit To Your Insecurities Regarding Intimacy And Sexing...

Because you have an “ingrained complex” about “performance”... many men and women fear not being able to “measure up” to past “experiences” and the “perceptions” of how “good sexing” is supposed to be when done right by someone who knows what they are doing... your problem is made worse by the fact that you have unhealthy “personal esteem” and lack “personal confidence”... and maybe “sexing knowledge”... which means you can “deflate” the moment someone tells you something you do not want to hear about your “sexing” performance. 

Remedy... admit that you have a “problem” and seek “help.”

3... Admit When You Do Not Know What You Are Doing... 

If you could get to the point where you looked at your boyfriend... girlfriend...  husband or wife and said... 

"How can I please you?"

You might get a response that is otherworldly... the problem is “admitting” that you are clueless in pleasing men or women and do not know what you are doing... the vast majority of the “time” the only guides you have are the videos you have watched... the articles you have read and the stories you have heard.... and porn is the worst teacher going... to learn about “intimacy” and “relationship” and not a very good teacher at all about “sexing”... all porn shows you at best is “how” to “f69k.”

No one took you aside at high school graduation and said this is “how” you please a man or a woman.... no one was there to act as your “mentor” when it come to the “nuances” of the “relationship” between man and woman ... and the “nuances” of “sexing” a man or woman.

If you are strong enough and admit that you are “clueless” about “relationships” and “sexing”... your lover will be gentle with you enough to show you “how” to please him or her... and there is always the “option” of a professional “mentor” and “teacher” in this field of “expertise!”

Remedy... admit that you have a “problem” and “talk” openly with your partner or you can seek “help” from a “skilled” and “knowledgeable” professional” who can “mentor” you.

4... Admit You Feel Rejected When Your Lover Says No...

Maybe  him or her are not “connecting” with you in the way you like because of “sexing performance issues” or maybe they have “problems” and they withdrawn “intimacy”... whatever the case... when the door to you sharing “sexing” and “intimacy” with your lover is closed... you hear “rejection.”

And “rejection” hurts you “mentally” and “emotionally”... it is like a slap in the face and kick in the guts that “demoralizes” you into “thinking that you want something other than getting your needs met with this person... that pain is "paralysing mentally" for both men and women who are unable to distinguish between “rejection” and “reality.”

Remedy... how about "thinking" things through first before going off the "emotional" deep and making everything worse... if there are "problems" in your “relationship”... you “feeling rejected” is not going to “solve” them... it is going to make them even "bigger"... deal with the “reality” of the situation... "talk" things through with your partner and work together to “solve” the "problems"... or seek the “help” from a “skilled” and “knowledgeable” independent professional who can “help” both of you "solve" your “problems.”

Feeling “rejected”...never “solves” anything... it often makes things ten times “worse.”

5... Admit That Control Can Scare You And Upset You...

In a recent sex therapy session with a couple... both were struggling with “sexing” until the man made a major breakthrough and opened up and shared with his partner... that was when the man realized that with his wife “controlling” him... she could dominate him in ways that made him cower like a little boy. 

Both men and women like to be in control and be the “dominant” one... especially in the terms of “sexing.” 

Yet when it comes to ”intimacy”... being “controlling” and being “controlled” is not “healthy” for a “loving relationship”... because in “intimacy” no one is really in control... it is an “equal” flow between both partners.

So when a woman “dominates” and "controls"“love relationship”... it can scare a man to a place of uselessness... after this realization... they both enjoyed “deep sexing” and sharing a more loving “intimacy” of each other.

And this works the same way when a man "dominates" and “controls” a woman... it will scare her to a place of uselessness.

Now.... is not an “intimate relationship” about LOVING and EMPOWERING each other and not about CONTROLLING and ABUSING each other... wouldn't you agree?!

Here is what has to be done here for both men and women... 

Be sincere with yourself that you have “problems”... and make a real “commitment” to “investing” in “personal... relationship development” and “sexing” by being “honest” about your “vulnerabilities” to yourself and your significant other... not in a needy way... this will turn your lover off... and they will lose “respect” for you.

By being “authentic” with “integrity” and “strength”... you will more and likely be surprised at “how” your lover responds... and “how” he or she moves all the more “closer” in “sharing” with you... and wanting to “support” you.

And if they do not... then you have a serious “question” to ask yourself... 

“Are they the “best person” to be with you in a "relationship?"

After all... is that not what LOVING is... “sharing” each other... “supporting” each other... “empowering” each other and “wanting” the BEST for each other... so you both BENEFIT from “enjoying” a LOVING relationship!

As always... leave a man or woman all the "better" for "knowing" you.

Thank you and may you enjoy a Prosperous and Dynamic day!

Yours Sincerely

Ange is an  Author... Speaker... and Dynamic Peak Performance Personal Development Consultant... and Humanistic Counselling Psychologist and Sexologist... who works with men and women who desire to "personally develop" themselves and their "relationships" to become Dynamic Lifers... "creators" of their own life and wealth!

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