3 “O”s For Oral Expertise With Your Man 

By Ange Fonce


The wonderful... scary... sexy... intriguing... and difficult thing about going down on your partner is that there is so much psychological and emotional energy there.

Some women “love” to go down on their partners... while some women find it unpleasant... and some women just have an uneasy relationship with oral sex.
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Likewise there are some men who think it is the very best part of making love and some men who do not like it all.

And for those couples who do not spend much time on it as more than just some quick foreplay... there might be lot to learn and explore that could invent the possibility of it becoming a more integral and interesting part of their sexual intimacy.

Now... here are 3 “O”s for you to consider that could ignite some serious passion in your relationship--

O 1... Use Your Hands...

In studies where male partners are blindfolded... the majority of men preferred manual stimulation to oral... yet your partner is likely to have told you that “hand jobs” are not so exciting... he can do it for himself that way... and what he wants is the soft acceptance of your mouth.

So what is going on here?

It is not that men are confused and do not know what they want... it is that sexual pleasure is much than the physical... it is just as much about the emotional and psychological experience too. 

For a man there is something profoundly powerful about his lover taking him into her mouth... it is an act of powerful "acceptance" by you as a woman of him as a man... it communicates more powerfully than almost anything that you think his sexuality is "attractive" to you..

A mans erect penis is a powerful psychological representation of his “masculinity.”

And this very same psychology operates in “same sex” relationships too.

As boys growing up... many men due to external factors are made to feel shame around our natural desires and around our hidden penis... the message is that there is something disgusting or wrong about our bodies and desires... and that gets burned into our psychology... which becomes deeply buried at an emotional level... oral sex says to your man...

"You do not find my body disgusting... you accept me... you surrender and trust me."

And as I mentioned above in that study that showed that men who could not see what was going on preferred the hand... for the “physical” pleasure... yet when a woman takes him in her mouth... the “visual” and emotional pleasure excites him as well... and it is also very “intimate” and personal.

So to make it feel great... a helping hand is a key element to add to the fun.

Experiment with it... stroking... gripping the base... making a ring with your fingers and running it up and down... and of course... do not forget the rest of his body... stroking his chest... arms... back...and face can spread the pleasure throughout his body.

0 2...  Use Your Eyes...

In the study I talked about above... the men were blindfolded... yet in real life the opposite is true... us men are visually stimulated creatures and he probably wants to watch you work your magic on him.

And the vast majority of men that I have surveyed on this subject have talked about the deep and powerful thrill they get when the woman going down on them looks up at them and makes eye contact.

Being able to see your face during the act is a big turn on for most men... it validates the acceptance that I was talking about above and it connects him emotionally to you as a person... a lover... and as a woman... it connects you both on a human level of shared experience... in other words... “intimacy.”

It may be difficult to maintain eye contact through the entire time... sprinkling it in when possible... it will be far more powerful than any tongue or hand technique... when you gaze into your mans eyes with loving intimacy.

O 3... Use Your Control...

Control is an interesting quality because it runs across a long scale between...

"He is in control." 

"You are in control." 

And you are both equally... "sharing control."

And as I am typing this I know  that "control" is too harsh a word for what I am communicating here... really it is Mastery... so let me continue by example...

Maybe you can remember a time in your early teens when dancing with boys meant that you had to take the lead and sort of shove them around where they should go so that you could do you thing... lift his arm and spin underneath... push him backwards or pull him forwards... a couple of years later... some of the boys had learned to dance and when you tried to lead as usual... a mini battle would break out... shoving and pulling at each other to decide where you should be dancing.

Love making can be the same way... sometimes it is hard to figure out who is leading... at times you both have an idea of what should happen next... and at other times neither of you wants to take control and the whole thing seems to go limp and tentative and passion evaporates.

Mastery is being “conscious” of who is leading and who is surrendering... who is “giving” and who is “receiving”... and being aware of the “sexual... loving... intimacy” energy that is flowing between you both to take your lovemaking to the next level.

When you are in a state of Mastery... you are in a state of balance within yourself and with your partner a state of balance between Masculine and Feminine Energy...  you are organically feeling into your partner for what he wants... what he is responding too... where he is squirming for you to go next... you can feel the thrust of his hips and you know to take him deeper... you can sense the rhythm of his desire and you both play into the growing heat of excitement or the need to cool down when the excitement grows to intense... you Master The Wave of sexual energy and it is a beautiful interplay... between you both.

When you are Master of the wave... you can tease and drive a man crazy far beyond his comfort level and give him unexpected experiences... you might playfully throw him onto his back and shoot him an evil smile as you grab his wrists and let him know that “you” are Master now... you might even say... 

"Lay back baby... it is my turn to play." 

And be Master of him and serve him.

Then you can tease.. tickle... bring his sexual energy up and down... and bring him close to insanity with your teasing... you can show him unexpected things.

And finally... you can give your Mastery and offer yourself in complete surrender.

Now this can be scary or uncomfortable for some women... and it can also be a huge turn on for both of you.

In completely surrendering... you might want to have him standing and be on your knees in front of him... and instead of being active... you might place his hands on your head and allow him to use his hips to control the motion... let him know that your body is his and for his pleasure. 

Eye contact can be extraordinarily powerful in this scenario... it can bring him to his knees with desire and vulnerability.

Why does your surrender bring out HIS vulnerability?

Because you are giving him the deep... animal masculinity that he may have dared not admit to in any other area of his life... ever.

Again... this can feel threatening or even demeaning to a woman... in that case.. you should not feel compelled to do it... it must be organic and comfortable to you and where you are emotionally in your relationship to him... and to your self.

It may also be threatening to him... for a man that grew up in an everyone is equal liberal culture... a life time of conditioning may make him feel like taking control during love making is demeaning to his partner... he may not be able to comfortably access his animal desires.

This could be dangerous territory for your relationship... or it could be the most extraordinary gold mine of opportunity to take your intimacy to a new depth.

The choice is yours... and if you do experiment with sort of surrender of control you may discover a powerful flood of new intimacy and trust with your man.

All of these tips are for "you"... they are yours to try or to discard as you see fit... I recommend you approach them with curiosity and playfulness and see where they lead you.

Here is the simple fact...

Most of the things that men think are difficult to get from women or difficult to ask for in bed are things that many women actually LOVE.

Nothing is always true in this life... and this one is surprising accurate most of the time for most women... most women love sex... most women love giving oral sex.. now... like all generalizations... these are not always true... upbringing... culture... and life experiences may suppress some of these desires... and here are the two things you need to know if your woman does not love going down on you... and this goes for most other healthy sexual activity as well...

1... If her past experiences... culture... and upbringing have buried her desire for her wild sexuality... the right partner can "unlock" these desires.

When you are that partner... you will be her hero... you will create incredibly intimate and surrendered connection... and you will both enjoy deep... hot... passionate and intimate sex.

And if you are not meant to be together... you will have left her better off than when you found her... which I know for most men is their true desire.

2... This is the uncomfortable one... more often than the above... it is not her past experiences... culture...or upbringing that have buried her wild desires... and her love of enjoying sex with you.

The more common truth is that it is “you” as her partner... that is inadvertently causing the problem... if you have been with 2 women in a row that have not enjoyed giving you oral... it is very likely something “you” are doing.

Last important fact...

There are men who have “never” been with a woman that did not “love” giving oral sex...and yes.. if your experience is any different... then these men “know” something you do not know!

Can you think of any more “O”s to add?

Let me know...

As always... leave a man or woman all the better for knowing you.

Masculine Men and Feminine Women know and are the EXCEPTIONS!

They are truly Passionate and DYNAMIC Lovers!

Yours Sincerely

Ange Fonce

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