What Mature Women Should Know
Before They Court A Younger Man 

By Ange Fonce

Courting a younger man may bother some woman... yet do not let their opinions bother you.

I recently received an e mail from a separated, late 40's woman who stated that she wanted advice on how to land a much younger man... say, late 20's or early 30's. 

Men her age do not take care of themselves, she claimed, and they could not keep up with her energetic, fit self. 

The dating expert she had contacted told her to get over herself and so she contacted me.

If you want to get people into a heated discussion, forget politics or religion... bring up a more mature woman wanting to court a man half her age.

I could relate to where she was coming from actually, as I find most women and men... cannot keep up with me either! 

Because of this, I tend to court women who are 10 to 15 years younger than I am. 

This is not to say that the reverse cannot create a heated discussion as well. 

It is the same when a more mature man who gets divorced and wants to date 25 year old women and he gets ridiculed for that even more than for buying that "Little Red Corvette"... remember that song by Prince?

And it has never been such a big deal to see a mature man with a younger woman because it is fairly common... in fact, there are many men wanting to meet much younger women, and never actually getting an opportunity to do so. 

Even if people do not approve, they are not surprised... historically, men have been providers for women and children, so an older man can provide while a younger woman can bear the kids. 

This model makes some sense in low resource situations or when women have no rights or education.

Times have changed though, especially in the Western World... with the creation of birth control in the 60's... as well as other significant social changes, more women are going to college and filling the workplace. 

More than 50% of medical school graduates are women and more women are becoming entrepreneurs and running their own businesses. 

When you can take care of yourself, you do not need to look for a man to take care of you... you have the freedom to choose men based on other qualities you find important. 

Because of this, more women, especially more mature women, are opting to court younger men.

Subsequently, some people struggle with the idea that many women have begun courting younger men... and more people struggle with the opposite notion... 

"Why would younger men want to court mature women?" 

"This Cougar thing is a fad." 

“Those guys aren’t serious about older women. It’s just for sex." 

I always raise a questioning eyebrow to these comments, because as someone who has a history of choosing younger women, it does not add up. you will be surprised to learn how many men, even young men, still have that 1950's attitude towards women.

People see this change and may assume that, as with men trying to court younger women, that it must be just about sex. 

The Cougar... now where did that name even come from? 

Is a woman who in her sexual prime and wants a good time with a young male hottie, and the young hottie wants sex with no strings attached. 

This is the stuff that makes the news. Nobody talks about younger man older woman relationships... because relationships are boring and sex is exciting. 

And census data does not lie... from 1960 to 2007, marriages where the wife is at least five years older have increased in the Western world, and marriages where the man is at least five years older have decreased.

This presents an interesting question... why do men want to court and marry more mature women? 

Men want to court older women because they are, on average, more independent, more confident, more successful, and more into sex... most men like all that. 

This is not just my opinion... this is what men have said and shared with me. 

Maybe more mature women are not as hot as younger women, some argue... so? 

Anyone can look good when they mature, if they are willing to put in time and effort into themselves and their personal appearance. 

Furthermore, just wanting young and hot is not about LOVE or relationship... it is more about wanting to capture a lost youth... is that such a bad thing? 

Yes... it can be when you carry it to the extreme... most men figure out that hot is nice to look at... yet it does not touch your heart... if there is no heart, can you enjoy a successful relationship... is it that simple?

I have courted my share of younger women... they ranged from 6 to 20 years younger than me... they did not care about age... they found me attractive and they liked me... these were not drunken 20 somethings at some bar... they were smart, intelligent cool women I met while working, online, and through friends... and they were looking for a relationship.

And I have wandered. 

Now... back to the original question...

Should You Court A Younger Man?" 

If you like him and he is a decent man, and he is the man for you...well yes, court away! 

As I say....it is not about him, it is about YOU. 

Do not be strict with age limits on men, and do not rule out younger men... you never know who you will wind up connecting with. 

Although do note that the bigger the age difference, the more flack you will get from others, and more importantly, the more challenging the relationship will be. 

Ideally... aim for a man no more than 10 to 15 years younger than you at most.

More than that is okay, too, yet once you get in the 15... 20 years younger range, you are courting a different generation altogether, and only in exceptional situations does this ever work out. I can testify to this from the male perspective on courting younger women... you do not want to end feeling you are "baby sitting" no matter how hot the sex is. 

You will also soon get bored of the drama and childishness which could come attached with that hot sex.

However, there is always "exceptions" to the rule... unless he is an exceptional young man, the gap in maturity is just too great.  

Also, there is a difference between being open to "meeting" younger men and ONLY wanting to "court" younger men. When someone, male or female, wants to ONLY court someone younger than themselves, especially if MUCH younger, they are not looking for love... they are looking for an "eye candy" boost. 

In other words, they are essentially screaming out... 

"Look what I have got!"

And that applies to both sexes.

You will see this behaviour in separated or recently divorced men and women who are middle aged or more, like the woman I mentioned early in this post. 

There are both men and women who are not impressed with what they see in their age bracket and swear they are different than people their age. 

Most of the time, this is really just a desire to regain one’s lost youth, to somehow make up for time lost in a bad marriage, to feel like they still got it and can attract someone young, or to otherwise fill a painful void.

If you are one of these women, you can still "court" younger for fun, yet beware of your motives and always treat your younger man with respect.

If you want to court younger men, do it...


You never know where and when you will find love. 

Just make sure, as with any man you "court" to look for a real connection... often, that connection does not come in the package you expect... I have been surprised my self on more than one occasion... a "hot" woman has caught my attention and yet it has been another woman who I have built a "connection" with and found very "attractive!"

Now... if you want more about the "deeper skills" of courting, relationships, and intimacy.

Please do Contact me.

As always... leave a man or woman all the better for knowing you.

Average men and women know only the rules.

Masculine Men and Feminine Women know and are the EXCEPTIONS!

They are truly Passionate and DYNAMIC Lovers!

Yours Sincerely

Ange Fonce


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