"Intimate Communion" Dating, Relationships & Sex Questions. "How Do I Know If He's Interested In Me? - How Can I Build My Confidence?"
Plus lots more

Welcome to this edition of "Intimate Communion" Dating , Relationship & Sex Questions." 

Each month I  publish a cross selection of "questions" I receive in e mails, from the readers of my articles, through my Facebook page and sometimes by postal letter! (Yes snail mail still exists.)

I do edit the letters I receive and remove personal details before I publish them here to protect peoples identities. 

However the "contents" of the e mails, messages and letters are published as I receive them.
I start with a question that  comes from Gwen who asks "How Do I Know If He's Interested In Me?"  

It's Great letter from a reader that gets to the heart of finding out what a man REALLY thinks, as well as what to do when he sparks a conversation with you. 

And Brenda asks "How Can I Build My Confidence?"

In a way both these letters are connected as they both deal with Confidence when being around Men!

Lets get cracking and read on...
QUESTION from Gwen...How Do I Know If He's Interested In Me?

"Hello Ange,

I was wondering what you would say...do you think this guy is interested? How should I talk to him?
I have seen him before at the library when I get a computer. The local library has different branches and I have seen him at two of them.
I remember in the fall of last year when I asked for a computer he made a statement that "I think I have seen you at..." and he named the branch.
Anyway, about a month ago I went to get a computer (a day I normally don't go to at this branch) and he happened to be the one working. I was shocked. most likely, as it had been last year when I saw him last.
I guess I liked him then but didn't talk to him. I figured he would talk to me if he was interested.
Well, that night I went to my car (I parked on the street) and happened to glance up to see who was nearby about to cross the street as I was looking for my keys.
I didn't notice him at first and when I did I looked back and smiled and he said, "Hey" and I said, "Hey" and went back to looking for my keys.
Would that mean anything? I never can think of something to say at the moment until afterwards.
I saw him at the other branch about a week later when I got a computer.
Then, I think it was a couple of weeks when I saw him yet again when I was at the library but didn't ask for a computer.
Well, last week (about 2 weeks or so since I saw him last) I asked for a computer and he said "Gwen, right?"
He knew my name. He remembered my name.
If he remembered my name, does that mean anything? It was about 4 weeks ago when I gave him my name for a computer and he remembered.
Are these occurrences good signs, or am I imagining?
How should I talk to him? Is there something to say when I check out or get a computer? How would I know if he is interested?
I haven't been able to pick up on anything yet.

Thank you,"



Dear Gwen.

Thank your message and writing to me.

Well from what you describe it's VERY clear that he likes you. 

He is showing all the signs. 

He has engaged you in conversation several times now and he even remembered your name.

But here's something you're probably not expecting me to say...

He most likely thinks you are not interested in him at all. 

It doesn't sound like the conversations you've had with him inside the library have gone very far at all, even though it appears he's attempted to make small talk.

And when he greeted you outside where your car was and your response was to simply say, "Hey" then you turn your attention to looking for your keys you might as well have said, "I don't want to talk to you"...regardless of whether that was true OR not.

That is a huge blow to a guy, and he's unlikely to press you any further for conversation.

Interestingly, most (if not all) men report that it requires them to muster ALL of their courage to approach a woman they've never met before and talk to her. 

Do you know that?

It's true!

They are typically VERY AFRAID of be laughed at and told "no"...perhaps in a publicly humiliating manner.

Even though the VAST majority of  women are perfectly polite people and would NEVER be rude to a man who was perfectly respectful toward you, men are very much afraid of living that nightmare.

Knowing that, if a guy actually DOES try to start a conversation and continues to talk to you it's safe to assume that he likes you.

Also given that his job gives him the opportunity to interact with dozens of people every day, if he makes a point to remember your name then that's VERY significant.

Next time, talk and flirt with him by smiling and laughing at anything funny he might say so that he can get at least a subtle indication that you are enjoying the interaction with him. 

You will be amazed at how even a simple measure of approval like this will afford him a MASSIVE dose of confidence to ask for your number or even to ask you out on the spot.

Be sure to relax and enjoy the conversation as you would with anyone else, even though your mind is probably racing with excitement.

After all, you don't freeze up when you talk to women or your girl friends, right?

You can do this!

You can absolutely help carry the conversation, too.

For example, you might ask how long he's been working for the library. Or you could ask a question like, "What's your favourite book here?"

Those would be the simple, basic ways to press the "easy button" without much chance of fumbling your words.

But if you're feeling more spunky and creative you could also reach for something funny to say yourself.

For example, when he recalled having seen you at the other branch you might have responded with, "Yes...do you have a twin brother working at the other branch also? I think I remember seeing someone who looks like you there."

Whatever you say, smile when you say it. Never forget to smile.

Be sure to talk about the latest interesting YouTube video you've seen or the most curious thing you've read recently instead of politics, religion or anything else that's controversial.

Avoid "dark" or negative ideas, keeping the conversation fun, light and even playful.

Since he likes you he WILL try to continue the conversation, but you really do have to show some interest in him too.

The good news  is that you don't have to throw yourself at him...it can all be subtle, just like I've described.

Coming off as friendly AND female does not at all have to imply that you're either too "forward" or too "available".

Consider that "non-reaction" is one of the most frequent reasons why perfectly sweet and adorable women find themselves not being asked on second dates.

Ironically, it's because the poor guy usually thought she didn't like him!

It's unfortunate that some women feel like you need to be come total "non-reactors" around men, lest they get the "wrong idea" about you.

The "wrong idea" that men typically get in that case is that you DON'T have any interest in them whatsoever...after all, us men are human to just like you.

Relax and have fun with this guy Gwen. You never know...he may well turn out to be the "one" for you.

Yours Sincerely 

Ange Fonce

It's hard enough to find a great man out there.

So what's a woman to do when she finally identifies a great man but  just doesn't have the confidence to start an interaction?

In my reply to Brenda I share with her some practical steps! 

Brenda asks...How Can I Build My Confidence?

"Hello Ange,
I love reading your dating articles- they're so informative. It's all thanks to you that I've changed my view towards men. Before, I was so shy, feeling not so perfect on the outside, waiting for someone to approach me. Well, in short, I was a wallflower. Now, I've changed myself, half way as it seems.
I've learned to feel comfortable hanging around most men and flirting with them. The only problem is, I still keep a distance from confident men who
are often popular and surrounded by other women. I find those kind of men, powerful, attractive and even handsome.
On the other hand, they intimidate me, and I feel my confidence draining away. What is the best way I can overcome this? How should I approach those types of men?
I hope this doesn't end in a junk mail.

Love, Brenda"

Brenda....London UK


Dear Brenda.

Thank you for your message and writing to me.

First of all, of COURSE your e-mail isn't going to end up in my junk mail! 

I read every single message you all send me. 

And I know that many are surprised I write back. 

I reply to all the messages that you the readers send me.

That said, thank you for your wonderful comment. 

I really appreciate that Brenda.

I just love hearing from men and women all over the world whose lives are being transformed.

You say you feel as if you have only been  transformed halfway, but just take a look at how far you've come!

Knowing you've come this far down the path makes the light at the end of the proverbial tunnel seem ever closer, doesn't it?

It's perfectly natural for us to be amazed by and attracted to men and women who are confident and popular with other men and women.

We know what we like, and when a man has lots of options when it comes to women it's usually for good reason - especially if he is attracting high-quality women.

Smiles, I know myself it is a good place to be in....Abundance!

In many ways, it all hearkens back to what I discussed many a time in my articles for both men and women. 

Really, when you get right down to it, when a man seems a bit harder to catch, it makes you want to CATCH him all the more, doesn't it?

Still, your mind isn't playing tricks on you, I'm sure.

There are some great men out there.

So how do you go about meeting them?

For starters, I think you already realize that you are going to need to build your confidence back up in order to get the attention of the men you want to attract.

As always, it seems, this is about DESERVING WHAT YOU WANT.

Those confident men will not settle for a woman who isn't confident.

Nor should they.

I will not!

So here are three simple steps to gaining confidence: 

1) Understand that you only see the world through your own eyes

You know all your strengths,weaknesses, frailties and "oops" moments you'd like to forget about.

And you know them intimately.

But as you see others moving about and having their being, you aren't able to see deep inside their hearts the way you can see into yours.

As such it's really, really easy to automatically assume that others don't have the faults or haven't made the mistakes we have.

But invariably, everyone has his or her own set of insecurities and skeletons in the proverbial closet.

Realizing that others may see their own imperfections as clearly as you see yours can put things into perspective for you.

More importantly, that perspective can free your mind from feeling inadequate and help you recognize your place at the banquet of human contribution.

Cool, huh? 

2) Focus on your strengths, and share your gifts freely with the world

Everyone is good at something.

When you have a clear idea of what that is and understand the value of that gift to others, you can become more empowered to share with others.

Once you start hearing similar sentiments of thanks and/or appreciation from those around, you must have the presence of mind to accept that your value to others is very real.

From there, your inner strength will grow more and more even as you share with others.

The only alternative is to turn your thoughts inward and doubt your worth.

Unfortunately, most who take this route never even tested their assumptions...which is almost always a tragic thing. 

3) Stop seeing simple interactions as "life or death" endeavors

Why not simple say "hello" or in some other way start interacting with those you meet - even if they ARE devastatingly handsome men?

What is the worst that can happen?

If he's rude then let's face it, you've saved yourself a world of grief by not dealing with a jerk, right?

On the other hand, if he's friendly towards you think how good you will feel inside. It sure beats that gnawing feeling of regret.

But here's even more good news.

If you can learn to treat everyone with grace and dignity, regardless of who they are, your entire social skill set will dramatically benefit.

And to your delight, you'll probably find that most men nowadays still believe in taking the first step when it comes to interacting with women.

Simply being more friendly and approachable can do wonders.

Sometimes shyness or lack of confidence can come across as snobbery - which is far from what you intend, I'm sure.

Men often write to me and I asking that they wish women were more approachable.

Here's your golden chance!

I'm excited for you.

I know you are much closer to a major breakthrough than you think.

Have fun with meeting men and enjoy yourself.

Yours Sincerely

Ange Fonce


Even as I wrote my answer to Brenda, I realize that gaining true confidence is easier said than done.

It is incredibly important though.

Without confidence you are at a major disadvantage when it comes to getting what you want as a man or women.

In order to be the empowered yet Masculine or Feminine 21st century man and woman, confidence is simply a MUST.

That's why I have devoted a great part of my DYNAMIC LIFE DEVELOPMENT System to building Confidence and Trust in Yourself! 

It's time to become the confident man or woman you dream of being and go build that Great Life for yourself you so desire.

Contact me and together we can make the romance, success and relationship...Happen for YOU! 

You have have often heard me write in articles  that if a man is not talking  about commitment within a year of dating you, he may NEVER.

So how does a relationship-savvy woman get a clear idea of what her man is thinking soon enough so as not to waste precious time?

Angela asks me...How Do You Talk About Commitment With a Guy...And When?

"Hi Ange,

I so love your articles and look forward to them all the time. I have a question for you.
I know you have said that when you were dating, you would tell men you liked that you didn't date for more than a year if marriage wasn't a prospect.
I have shared this with many of my friends and we "get it" and have used it ourselves. However, we are wondering what reaction would you get from men when you told them this?
Also, would you date them all the way to the year date and then say something, or would you remind them along the way at certain intervals like the 3rd month, then the 6th month, etc.?
Would you stop dating a man if certain flags were shot up that indicated strongly that investing a whole year in him would be a mistake?
I guess we just want to get more details and stories as to how this philosophy/strategy worked for you, and how it affected your decisions to stay in or leave a relationship. What did you look for?




Dear Angela,

Thank you for writing to me and your message.

Smiles, role reversal here! 

Asking a guy when is it the best time to have "the talk?"

I'm so glad you wrote me.

These are very good questions, and women from all over the world, write to me ask this question often.

When it comes to letting men know about  dating for no more than a year without a commitment, I would suggest to go about communicating this in several ways. 

It all depends on the situation.

I always suggest to women that from the very beginning you would ask questions to find out about the man's past dating patterns. 

This is an early indicator of what you might expect from a potential relationship.

Then perhaps you would talk about friends who either dated for some years or months and got married then you would get his view on it. 

When it was worded this way guys usually spoke their opinions freely. Upon hearing his points, you would also then share your thoughts on the subject as well.

So, you can see that the conversation does not have to be blunt or uncomfortable. 

You need not "throw it all on the table", especially very early on.

Even so, contrary to what you may have heard elsewhere, men are usually honest about how they feel about the dating process. 

If a guy says he is just looking to date casually then trust that is what he means.

At that point in time he is not planning to becoming serious about  marriage. 

To presume that you can "change him" would just be setting yourself up for heartbreak.

If, however, he says that he is looking for someone special to share his life with, then let time pass to see how the relationship progresses - which it will.

If after a few months the relationship becomes stuck, then it's time to talk about what direction the relationship should go. 

Find out if there is an issue that may need to be addressed in order for the relationship to progress.

Some men use the expression, "If the right woman comes along then yes I would be ready to commit." 

That's okay. 

It's perfectly fair for a man to be very careful - if not downright picky - about who he enters into an exclusive relationship with. 

And this takes TIME.

You don't have to break up right then and there, but unfortunately some women hear "not right now" and think that to automatically mean "never". 

But that's not necessarily what he is saying to you. 

Indeed, you can express to him that there is a time line. You will not stay around forever.

And that's where the yardstick of a year comes into play. 

Assuming you aren't in some preposterous long-distance relationship that severely limits your "face time" with each other, there should be enough information available to you after a year to know if there is a future together or not.

Remember, you are not trying to pin him down to a commitment. 

Rather, you are simply interested in gauging whether he thinks there is a future together or not. 

If not that is okay. 

He's not necessarily a bad guy for not wanting that with you, but if you ARE looking for a long-term committed 

relationship then this will mean that it is time to move on.

The good news is that this will free you to find the right man who wants to commit to you, rather than staying indefinitely with a man who may NEVER get around to marrying you.

To address another of your questions, you certainly don't have to  wait the full one year to break up. 

As soon as it is crystal clear that the relationship will not develop into anything serious then it is time to call off the relationship.

It's important to mean what you say when you end a relationship, too.

In some cases when a man can see that he has lost something great that is when he "wakes up" and realize that you are the one he wants for life.

You can feel free to handle those scenarios on a case-by-case basis. 

BUT...I honestly feel that the vast majority of breakups occur for good reason, ultimately.

"Breakup Remorse" is no reason to patch things up in and of itself. 

For many, the proverbial grass will be greener no matter which side of the fence he or she is standing on.

So to invite someone back after a breakup could very well mean you are opening yourself to "on again/off again" flakiness.

For the record, yes...I've had to make some heart-wrenching decisions myself, and ended up walking away. 

It was not easy. I cried and my heart hurt at the time.

And Yes, a guy does get upset and feel hurt. 

But I have a goal in mind. 

I wanting to find a great woman to share my life with. 

All the pain was worth it. 

I know what I am looking for in a woman. 

And so will you know what you want in a man! 

The key is to keep the conversation light and non-threatening the first few times the subject came up. 

Don't be afraid to go after what you want.

Don't let any man waste your precious time.

Yours Sincerely

Ange Fonce

I had a lady write to me with a "question" about her boyfriend and wanting to know if he is sleeping with strippers?

Unfortunately she did not give her name for her own reasons it seems.

Also I have had a good few e mails and comments about an article I posted a couple of weeks ago on "Intimate Communion." it has caused quiet a stir, especially amongst the ladies who read my articles.

So read on.........

QUESTION From Anonymous

"I found out my now boyfriend of 4 years was secretly going to strip clubs when I wasn't around. I am an accountant and at the time was working for a publicaccounting firm so I was averaging 70-80 hour work weeks (not much time for love or lust there). He nevertold me he was going and he was going alone and drinking way to Much. When he finally told me I was extremely hurt. I was working my ass off to make good money, pay the bills and become the power woman I desire to be and my boyfriend, working an average job at 8 hours a day is running around behind my back. Was I not enough? Was he cheating? Is there something wrong with our sex? Why did he lie about it? Why did he go alone, was he doing things he shouldn't have been with the strippers?"


Dear Anonymous,

Thank you for writing to me and your message, 


Where to start with your message?

I feel the best way would be to break it down into bullet points and deal with each point separately so here is my take on the matter...

1. There's a big difference between going to a strip club to look at coked up vacuous women with daddy issues (this is a generalization and I will receive angry comments from strippers because of it) and "running around behind your back. 

I totally understand why some women are against strip clubs (and I'm really not into them at all myself).

BUT going to a club where you can pay women to jiggle for you is NOT the same as cheating (unless of course he's actually screwing around with strippers . . . which to me is just not the vast majority of men's style as it is for guys who have problems in their lives.)

2. If you're working 70-80 hours a week and admittedly have no time for lust or love the guy probably feels REALLY ignored and a bit emasculated. 

The fact that he's going to strip clubs ALONE and is drowning his sorrows is puddles of booze and is going to strip clubs DURING THE DAY tells me he's depressed about SOMETHING (and having a girlfriend he never sees probably is part of that.)

3. I sense some contempt for your boyfriend in your email, especially when you talk about putting food on the table, how he only works 8 hours a day etc. Contempt is toxic poison for relationships. If you're more driven than he is, make more money, are more of a workaholic.

And a "question" for you to THINK about. Why the heck would you want to work 80 hours a week?

Maybe that's fine with you, but if you're not able to be "OK" with having a boyfriend who isn't like you, you should end the relationship.

4. Finally: You're real question: "Was I not enough?"

No, you weren't to put it BLUNTLY!

You admitted that with your work schedule you just didn't have time for love or lust. 

If that went on for months (or years) how could it possibly be enough for anyone?

Let's reverse the sexes for a second and say your boyfriend was working 80 hours a week as he climbed the corporate ladder and just didn't have time for you .

So you found yourself reading romance novels or even getting into a conversation online with a man who actually had time to talk to you . . . (Not a perfect analog to strip clubs, I know.) 

In that case plenty of people would give your boyfriend at least partial "blame" for the situation because he wasn't fulfilling your emotional or sexual needs.

So no, you weren't enough. 

My gut tells me there are 3 reasons your boyfriend was going to strip clubs.

1. He likes looking at naked women (because he's a guy.)

2. He felt sexually and emotionally abandoned by you because of the demands of your job.

3. He wanted to be "worshipped" and "respected" by women and felt a bit emasculated by his hard-driving power-woman girlfriend. (I'm not saying you did this on purpose and I admire your drive and desire to get to the top. But it's VERY hard for a guy to have a girlfriend who's more "alpha" than he is.

So what do you DO about this?

Well, freaking out and accusing him of cheating isn't going to work (though I bet you found that out in the first place.)

But the key thing you need to understand was that your boyfriend going to strip clubs while you were crunching numbers at the office wasn't really about YOU in the way you want it to be about you.

It was either about basic lust (Like I said, he likes looking at naked girls and having them wiggle for him and you weren't around) 

Or about him trying to feel a twinge of self esteem when his was obviously lacking.

So have a dam good think about your relationship with your boyfriend and don't see it as he is the "problem" that it may well be about YOU and your Lifestyle?

Yours Sincerely

Ange Fonce

QUESTION From Ann...Sexual Dirty Talk And Sex

"Dear Ange,

I read your article about being more in your feminine energy when making love and you touched on dirty talking. What I want to know is how talking dirty can make love making better. it kinda turned me on reading about it. I want to know more so I can open up my man more?
Great article by the way.

Love Ann"



Dear Ann,

Thank you for your message and writing to me. 

I am glad your found the article interesting and this article certainly got a response. 

Especially the part where I touched on dirty talking.

OK, one of the questions I get from women ALL THE TIME is about EMOTIONS and how to get guys to OPEN UP and tell you how he really feels.

So why would I go from talking about a man's gooey emotional candy inside his hard Pinnate shell. 

To talking about dirty talk, men's fantasies and how to access his deepest, dirtiest mind?

Well, it all goes back to a big (and true) cliche . . .

"Women have to feel emotionally close to have sex. And men need to have sex to feel emotionally close."

This is why denying a guy sex when you're having a fight is so counter productive.

It creates resentment and "hardens the Pinnate" while saying something like "I'm really mad at you right now and you're not off the hook, but I want you" tends to motivate guys to actually open up and apologize.

Plain and simple, if you get to know a guy's true sexual mind and show that you're cool with what he wants . . .

1. He'll be more open with you in general.

2. He'll be more motivated to give you what YOU want sexually and emotionally.

3. You'll both be happier.


Don't think "Oh, so if I just have sex with this guy I like a lot he'll get totally bonded to me and fall in love with me, right? After all, when I have sex with a guy I can't help but develop feelings for him, so it must be the same for him too."

Unfortunately, that's not how it works.

If you're in a relationship with a guy (or if you're on the road to being in a relationship with a guy) then sex is a great emotional bonder . . .

But guys are guys.

Men tend to open up more to women they love (or at least like) when they have sex.

But guys are also 100% capable of having unemotional, detached sex with women too.

Confusing, huh?

I guess the best way to say this is . . .

"Sex doesn't CREATE a connection for guys, but it EXPANDS a connection if it's already there."

And keep a "lookout" Ann for a new articles published on "Intimate Communion" it seems this subject has been "interesting" for women.

I go a lot deeper into the "Art of Dirty Talk For Women."

Thank you for the compliment.

Yours Sincerely

Ange Fonce

And if you want to read this article yourself.

on the link below....


Lets dive in . . .

QUESTION: Tracy asks:

"Ange, what's a good reply to a man who tries to get sex on the first date?" A coy giggle. A gentle laugh. A wry smile or a smoldering look. A "not yet" with a grin.


Honestly, almost all guys are going to "try' to get sex on the first date (and the second date, and the third date . . . well, you get the idea. We like sex.")

That doesn't necessarily mean he's a player or that he's "only looking for sex."

It means he's a guy.

And he thinks you're hot.

And every cell in his body is pushing him to pounce on you, ravage you, conquer you (well, you get the idea.)

So what do you do?

Be "firm but fun" in the way you turn him down.

Don't . . .

She froze up like a deer in the headlights, a horrible scowl crawling across her face as her thighs clamped together like the doors of Fort Knox.

'You're just like the rest of them,' she sobbed and shrieked.

"Why can't you just want me for ME?"

Do . . .

'"I'm not having sex with you tonight' she giggled as her arm snaked through his.

"And probably not tomorrow night either. But when I decide I want to . . . well, I promise you it will be worth it.'"

Have fun with it.

Tease him.

Don't make it a "big deal."

Let him know that sex isn't 100% off the table forever (unless it is) and have a good time.

And if he doesn't respect the line you draw in the sand sit him down like a bratty 8 year old and tell him exactly what he can do with his goddamn erection.

QUESTION: Dione asks . . .

"Why do men just 'drop' you (I.E. stop returning calls, etc.) rather than being man enough to say they don't want to see you any more?"


Because they're cowards, because they don't want to deal with conflict or potential craziness, and because they think it's the kindest way to let someone down.

Which is, of course, bullshit.

Women do the same thing, by the way.

A few years back I fell HARD for a 5'10" blonde with magical hands . . .

We went on a few dates.

We tumbled into bed together.

I felt a crazy magnetic spark.

I felt my bruised heart opening up to the possibility of "something."

And then the crazy cruel radio silence began and I felt this obnoxious anxiety and anger build in my chest.

So it's not just a "guy" thing.

So . . .

1. When you decide you don't want to see a guy any more, just tell him in as plain language as possible.

2. If a guy doesn't call you back after two attempts, assume he's got stuff going on that has nothing to do with you and move on.

Rejection sucks.

But do you really want to be a guy who's not man enough to tell you what's up anyway?

Thank you for all your GREAT QUESTIONS!

And that wraps up this issue of "Intimate Communion" Dating, Relationships & Sex Questions. 

And as ever...

Always leave a man or a woman all the better for knowing you.

Average men and women know only the rules.

Masculine Men and Feminine Women know and are the EXCEPTIONS!

For Love and Intimacy...

Ange Fonce

What are Your thoughts and ideas?

"Use the Comments box below and "Have Your Say" (even if you disagree with me).  I really appreciate it when people reply with thoughtful comments. Honestly, it makes my day. 

Your Questions And Enquiries

If you would like to send me a question or a problem you are having that I can answer. 

It will help Me write a truly helpful answer much more quickly if you keep it to a simple format.

As you can imagine, I'm a busy Man, so here are the rules:

1. Your question must be no more than 3 paragraphs, please.

2. Get as specific as you can - the details help Me really get a feel for your unique situation.

3. You will not abuse my trust in you.

4. You will not send customer support emails and spam to my contact email. If you do that you will not get a response and I will probably have to stop being so open with my time and providing a "Free" advice service. Seriously. I want to help you, but to do that I need you to respect Me and My time as much as I respect yours.

Please feel free to forward this article to a friend or let them know they can receive their own articles by subscribing to "Intimate Communion". I am sure they will appreciate your consideration of them."