Has a man ever told you he loved you... or let on that he was utterly taken with you after just a few... “meet ups”... with him?

If so, on one hand it probably felt flattering... after all he must have felt something special for you to act this way... yet on the other hand, you have to ask yourself ... how do you know you can trust what he is saying... and that what he feels is real... and will LAST?

For a man... "courting"... a woman... and enjoying her company in the first few weeks... or months is NOT a guarantee that he will want a long term relationship... maybe your last relationship started out this way... where the man seemed completely smitten with you at first... and then things quickly fell apart when it came time for something... "real"... to evolve... and grow between you... the thing is... when it comes to a committed... and long term relationship... a man will choose to commit to a woman on his own time line... and for his own reasons.

A man WILL NOT commit because you told him he should... or because it is been however many months you have been.... “courting”... or because he has to settle down eventually... or else.

If you made the mistake of trying to progress in your relationship with a man by talking about these kinds of things I just mentioned... it is time you realized something important... talking about the weeks... and months of your relationship as... "proof"... that you should be together... and have more... is the language of the MIND... and it will not get you anywhere with a man... on the other hand... when a man feels... and knows inside on an EMOTIONAL level that you are the only one for him because of the way you interact with him... this is the language of his HEART... now are you connecting with a man through the things that will lead his HEART into wanting more with you... or are you  trying to convince his MIND that he should want more... because you are assuming he might not?

You probably already know that a man can start to... "freak out"... on you... and pull away when you tell him you want your relationship to grow... and progress... do not let this accidentally happen to you... as it does for so many other women.

So... is your relationship in jeopardy... or under stress because of constant disagreements... and arguments with your man where he does not seem to listen... or care... are you worried that you cannot seem to reach any common ground because every time you bring up what you are feeling or what you want... he gets IRRITATED with you... as if YOU are the one with the problem... as if you are wrong to disagree with him about anything... or wrong to say how you feel about something?

If you are like most sensible women... then all you really want is a little UNDERSTANDING... I know how painful... and frustrating it can be when the ONLY thing that seems to be getting in the way of a close... and lasting connection with your man is some recurring misunderstandings... if only he could see things from your perspective... you KNOW it could turn things around in your relationship... after all... you used to be close... and loving in the beginning... and something has changed... and now you seem to be fighting about the same stupid things... over... and over.

Now I want you to do this for me... stop... take a deep breath... and listen up... because  I am about to show you how to STOP this destructive cycle dead in it's tracks.

You see... there is something going on at the CORE of your situation that you are not 100% aware of... and cannot put your finger on just yet... and it is the one thing that is at the heart of why there is so much misunderstanding taking place in your relationship.

Some women will do whatever it takes to try and get this one thing back when they sense it is not there... some will tell a man everything is OK when it is not... or they will say they... "don't care"... when they really truly DO... some will put aside their own needs in order to keep this strong... most women are not happy unless this one thing they can only sense on an intuitive level is there... do you know what that one thing is?

I Am Talking About The CONNECTION You Share With A Man

You can try talk... reason... and plead with a man to improve... or change things in your relationship... yet if the CONNECTION you have been sharing is not there... or there is something going on underneath the surface... something that is a result of things in the past... then there is no way you are going to have that free... and easy feeling where you both know things are right between you.

Consider this...

How often have you felt... "off"...  because you had a disagreement with a man... and he left in an withdrawn... sullen mood?

I am willing to bet that despite putting on a... "happy face"... to your friends... and co-workers... you worried about what was going on a LOT... you worried that something about the way you related to each other was going to be permanently damaged... and that your love was at stake... and most importantly you did not feel right inside until you could resolve things... and... "talk"... it over.

Now you are starting to get what I am talking about when I say the word CONNECTION... it is because of the need... and desire for an open... "flowing"... connection that lots of women make a critical mistake in the way they communicate with the man in their life.

How Does This Happen?

The short version is that when something happens that makes you feel DISCONNECTED from your man... you get disoriented... and frustrated emotionally... and as this happens you either...

A) Lose your composure... and come unglued... not so much because of what has happened is so bad... because of the bad FEELING you have inside as a result of feeling disconnected.

Or...

B) You do not SPEAK UP right away when something feels... "off"... or if you need a different response from a man IN THE MOMENT... and a strange feeling starts to build inside you until it comes out later in a way that causes the man to get upset... and completely withdraw instead of listening to you.

For example... has a man ever told you of some plans he had to hang out with his friends... or travel somewhere by himself for whatever reason... and you PRETENDED to be OK with it because you did not want to seem... "needy?"

Maybe you had not been seeing each other much lately... and maybe he has been distant... and maybe you needed him to WANT to connect with you... and make plans with you... and you did not say a word to him about the way you felt... because you did not want to upset him by admitting that you really needed MORE from him than he was giving you.

That is right... you did not want to appear weak... needy... and you thought you could just deal with it... so you said nothing... and he went on his trip... or out for the evening... and then later when he came back... BAM... all those hurt... angry feelings came exploding out even though you did not really know they were there... and maybe you fought over everything APART from what was REALLY bothering you.

So in a way... you STILL avoided telling him that it bothered you that he made plans without including you... because you were still protecting the connection... and your feelings... the reality is... if you do not find a way to both share your REAL FEELINGS... and do it in a way that makes your man open up... you will not be able to really RECONNECT with him... and what you feel will later let slip out... and will only create MORE resentment... and contempt between you both... and that equals even MORE bickering... and tension in the future... not good... so how do you break the cycle?
 
I am about to give you 2 methods that will improve the way you communicate... and stop the downward spiral of fighting TODAY...

Method 1... Creating A... "SAFE SPACE"... To Communicate Your Needs And Feelings

Women are often convinced that they cannot be honest... or talk to their man about what they feel... or what they want because it will cause conflict in some way... in a way... they are right... a woman will wait and wait for the... "right moment"... to bring up a painful subject... tell the man she is upset... and inevitably the man responds by getting irritated... and angry instead of being understanding... and empathetic.

Unfortunately... too many women end up learning from this situation... and learn the WRONG LESSON... too many women end up thinking that sharing their feelings was the wrong thing to do... and they learn that next time... it is better to keep their feelings to themselves and not say anything... this not a Good Thing... this only feeds the ugly monster of miscommunication... and DISCONNECTION... here is something you may not know about men... or even agree with... yet it is true...

Men absolutely WANT you to be honest... and straightforward with them.

This is what men like so much about the way they can communicate with each other... and in fact, it drives them nuts when you ARE NOT open... and direct... if they are planning something that you do not agree with... they want you to let them know AT THE START... as soon as possible... BEFORE it becomes a bigger issue... or concern... not later... after a few hours... or days... or WEEKS of you stewing about it... only for it to come out at some other time when the man thinks everything is going fine.

Here is the beauty of telling a man what you think early on... It allows you to communicate in a way that is less combative... and negative than it would be if you were to have it fester in your mind for a while... especially if he is already done... decided on whatever it was that you were dreading... and here is a secret about how men like to talk... and communicate that you need to remember...

Men do not... "automatically"... get upset when you let them know how you feel about something, like some women think and would have you believe in this myth... men get upset when they see that YOU are upset.

Now...  for most men when a woman tells them something that is not great about their relationship... the reason men get upset is that they take it VERY PERSONALLY... when a man sees you upset... and you tell him about your hurt feelings... he will instantly feel like you are BLAMING him... even though you might not be... it is called... “emotional flooding”... and for those men... and women who work with me... I go into great detail about this biological... and emotional response... and... “how”... you can avoid triggering it... and if  you are... there is part of your problem right there! 

Men like to think and FEEL that the woman they are with respects them... and sees them as a great man... so when a woman shares something that is not... "perfect"... that is going on... a man will take it as you thinking that HE is screwed up... and not just that something happened in your relationship that can easily be changed... or improved in the future. 

Here Is The Thing...

Whether you know it... or not... the reason most men react negatively when you try... and talk about your relationship is because they feel CRITICIZED by you... Men want to know that you think they are Decent... and more importantly... men want to know that who they are... and how they act PLEASES YOU... that is why... when you tell them about something that has hurt your feelings... or is... "wrong"... they feel like they are not PLEASING YOU... and that you are not happy with them... of course that is when a man will go to trying to... "fix"... whatever is wrong.... because he must find a way to make it right so he knows that he still pleases the woman in his life... the thing that is most important to a man in a relationship is that he knows that who he is makes his woman HAPPY... so now you know all these important insights into how men think... and feel... what can you DO with it to put it to use in your relationship?

To stop this cycle of a man feeling CRITICIZED... or like he does not please you... you first need to find a... "safe space"... before you talk... and share your feelings with him... and I mean... "safe"... in that telling a man what you think... feel... and need will not jeopardize your connection... and instead make it stronger.

Here Is Your ACTION STEP To Create This... "Safe Space” For You... And For Him...

Sit down with him today at some time when you are both settled... and relaxed... then tell him that you respect his feelings... and that you appreciate the way he respects yours... if you do not feel this right now... simply the act of communicating these words will have a profoundly positive effect on him... and actually help create more respect... and appreciation... because you get what you give!

Then explain that communicating as early as possible... and allowing that SAFE SPACE to tell each other how you really feel... and that you need to be open... and honest with each other in the moment is CRUCIAL to your happiness …  AND his... what you are doing here is essentially agreeing together to accept... and allow for each others real feelings...  REGARDLESS of whether they happen to please the other person in that moment... of course by agreeing to this you are not just agreeing to be able to state your true feelings... you are also agreeing to really... and truly hear HIS FEELINGS too... whether you like them... or not.

And that means not going off the deep end emotionally if he tells you something you do not like hearing... this kind of real... and authentic honesty is the first step... and the one... and only path to a real... secure... and lasting relationship where both partners know that their feelings are HEARD... and RESPECTED.

And incidentally the reason your man gets irritated when you tell him how upset you are leads me to...

Method 2... EMOTIONS ARE CONTAGIOUS

It is not enough just to know that you need to communicate your needs early on with a man... there is a method to HOW to communicate that makes all the difference in how he will react... and how open he will be to LISTENING.

Have you ever noticed that if you are in a neutral... quiet mood... and a friend calls... is all ecstatic about some good news... you will automatically start to smile and chuckle along.. or if your friend calls... and sounds depressed... and negative... you will get off the phone feeling WORSE than you felt before they called?

This is because emotions are contagious... and they usually transfer themselves from the strong emotion... joy... depression... to the less intense emotion... quiet... contemplative... so why is this important to know when it comes to better communication... and LESS ARGUING?

If you approach your man with an angry... upset or irritated attitude... he is less likely to respond to what you are saying... or even listen intently... he will just MIRROR your emotions... it goes like this...

You are upset... you tell him how hurt you feel... and you start to raise your voice... and display a lot of angry body language like throwing up your arms... he sees that body language... he hears your tone of voice... and in turn HE becomes upset instead of really LISTENING to what you are saying.

He responds to what he perceives as an attack by getting defensive... and angry in return... he is not even doing this consciously... it is something that happens automatically... “emotional flooding”... which in turns primes the primal instinct of … “fight or flee.”

Have you ever taken some non-refundable merchandise back to the store... and put on an... "attitude"... with the clerk... and they became defensive... and short with you as a result?

Compare that to going in with a calm... friendly attitude... and maybe even some humour... how did they react then... does it seem that people are more likely to... "bend the rules"... and listen... and empathize when you approach them with a more positive emotional tone?

In the same vein, when it comes to talking to your man... remember:

A) Stay calm... and controlled when talking about critical issues... if you are relaxed... and assertive... he is more likely to be open to listening to what you have to say.

B) If he says something hurtful... do not lash out... instead give yourself some space... and let him know you will not tolerate that from him... if you stay calm... and positive... he will calm down... and eventually realize what he said was either insensitive... or wrong... the key is to give him the space to see your feelings... and not feel blamed... or criticized by you for them... and he will respond in a caring... and nurturing way as a result.

In this way... YOU can affect how your conversation will go... whether it will spiral into fighting... and negativity... or end up in a much closer connection... and better understanding.

I just revealed a couple of insights into how you can stop the vicious cycle of negativity... and miscommunication with a man... along with a specific way to renew your relationship with listening... and honesty... put these to use in your relationship today... whether it is with a man... or anyone in your life you want to reconnect with... when it comes to building a solid foundation for a great long-term... committed relationship... you have to be able to COMMUNICATE effectively... and in a way that does not compromise your needs... and feelings... otherwise you will end up feeling unappreciated... and... "unheard"... in your relationship... and not just that... the feelings that will come from that will have a doubling effect of then putting more distance between you... your man... and keeping you DISCONNECTED.

Connection And Communication

I want you to finally experience what it is like to have the kind of open... honest … and emotionally authentic relationship that not only brings you... and your man closer than you could ever become otherwise... and have the kind of security... and certainty about what is going on in your relationship... and how your man is feeling that only comes from an amazing level of CONNECTION... and COMMUNICATION.

Too many women mistakenly think that they know how to create this kind of relationship because they have lots of feelings... and talk about them... to have a great relationship... and communication in it that inspires you... and the man you are with at the same time... it takes a whole lot more than having feelings... and talking... it takes learning to UNDERSTAND not just your own feelings... also how to help your partner understand you... and how to help your partner communicate HIS FEELINGS so he feels understood too.

As you now know...  the patterns you have in your relationships are hard to break... now when you know how to change the very things that are holding your old... and limiting patterns of communication intact... you know how to replace them with something better and new.

If you are like most women I talk to... then you know that men are pretty BAD at telling you what they are thinking... or feeling... or what they want from your relationship... when you find that any discussion of feelings and problems results in more arguments... more silence... and LESS openness... and sharing... then you really have a problem on your hands... when real honesty... and understanding between you... and your man is non-existent... then there is little chance that your relationship will last... or thrive.

Most women think they are great communicators simply because they are in touch with what they feel... and they are not afraid to express it... and what frustrates them is that this... "asset"... does not quite help in getting their man to LISTEN... and understand them... what you need is not MORE TALKING... what you need is a strategy for communicating with a man in a way that creates the kind of environment where BOTH people can talk and share.

If you are really serious about creating an open... and SECURE relationship by staying permanently CONNECTED with the man in your life... then I want to show you how... I will show you EXACTLY how to approach... "sensitive"... conversations... what to say... and the right... and wrong way to say it... much of my work is to help you avoid all the common mistakes that put distance... and bad feelings between otherwise great couples.

I can help you understanding what goes on inside a man's mind when it comes to courting... sex... love... and commitment

Like to know more... Contact me.

As always... leave a man or woman all the better for knowing you.

Average men and women know only the rules.

Masculine Men and Feminine Women know and are the EXCEPTIONS!

They are truly Passionate and DYNAMIC Lovers!

Yours Sincerely

Ange Fonce

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