Dynamic Ways To Deepen Intimacy
And Spice Up Sex‏ In Your Relationship 

By Ange Fonce

Please be AWARE this article contains content of an INTIMATE nature!

Love is not only the most pleasurable of human experiences... it can be also be the most PAINFUL too.

When you are in “love”... everything is “amplified”... the world is brighter... more colourful... and yet the “opportunity” to “feel” yourself torn to pieces also becomes very... very real... that is why “deeply surrendered sex”... which can be the most powerful physical and “intimate connection” in an “intimate relationship" can be so damn hard for many men and women... because it takes so much "courage" to be “open” and “vulnerable.”

And that is why so many men and women manage to “sabotage”... or in some other way "invent" ways to “avoid” getting too close... and that is why “love” so often burns out like a super nova or quickly fades into a dimly remembered... "the way we used to be."

What does it take to REALLY experience “loving intimacy”... to hold it... maintain it and make it  WORK?

What does it take to “overcome your fears” and hold your partner through his and her fears and "really experience" epic INTIMATE LOVE?

If you are serious about the answer... if you are prepared to give whatever it takes to live a life with NOTHING LESS... then you and I have something deeply “importantly” in common... and to be clear on this... I am talking to 90% of the people reading this article... the risk and effort that “intimate love” involves is simply not for most people... so has sex for you become boring... routine... lacking passion and intimacy... or sadly even repulsive?

In this article I want to share with you the “idea” of introducing “variety” in your sex life... I am going to share some things that I have done personally myself and have introduced to my clients to add some “extra spice”... and build deeper “intimacy” into their relationship.

Now most people immediately think of having lots of different “sex positions" to "spice” up the physical sex side... yes...changing sex positions is important... yet this is just a small part of good sex... generally... the man “leads in sex” and will have to “act first” to add more “variety” in sex... woman do love a “sexually confident man” that leads them to “different sexual experiences”... one easy way to add “variety in sex” with your lover is to “communicate” more about “sex.”

You can ask your partner some “questions” about what she or he... really “likes” in sex and what you could do to “increase their pleasure”.... I feel this is best done out of the bedroom when you are both in a good mood... also discuss what you would like more of too... sometimes your partner will be unwilling to explore things like “anal sex” and you must respect their boundaries.
 
I had this discussion with a past lover a few years ago... now I was fortunate that she loved oral sex on my penis... she really did love my penis and she did adore giving oral sex... when we had a discussion on what I like in sex... I asked her why in  oral sex... she has tended to avoid touching my balls... she stated that she did not want to hurt me... I then talked about how I would love my balls sucked as long as she did not use too much pressure... and from having that conversation... oral sex became even more pleasurable... and this resulted from honest... “open communication.”

Are you missing out on increased pleasure because you have not “communicated” what you like to your lover?

I would like to talk about some simple “dynamics” in “sex” that can really add some “spice” to your “love making”... generally... most women want to greatly increase the “intimacy” and “connection” in sex... “intimacy” is a powerful to “deepen” the “connection” between you in “all aspects” of your relationship... like sharing more “eye contact” in “foreplay” and “sex” is one simple way to “really connect” with your lover.

Try this simple exercise to get some idea of the power of eyes open sex... 

Stand or sit across from your lover with each partner making ”eye contact” with the focus being on the “right eye”... this means you are both looking across at the “same eye”... now the exercise is to make the following statements every 10 seconds depending on your “inner experience”... so when you really “feel connected” with your partner say... “I feel connected”... and  if you do not feel connected say... "I feel unconnected"... continue this exercise for 5 minutes... when I do this exercise... there are many times the woman I am with say “I feel connected” at exactly the same moment.

Now the next time you make love... I suggest to try some time with “eyes open sex”... really look into the eyes of your lover and allow them to look into you... I personally like both “eyes open sex” as well as “eyes closed sex”... if the thought of “eyes open sex” is really uncomfortable for you... I suggest try at least once each week to repeat the above exercise.

Another way to add a lot of energy in sex is by role playing...

One things I have done is to ask my lover to be a “wild female tiger”... and I acted out being a “male tiger on heat” by growling and being “dominant”... need I say that we had a lot of fun!

The following list is things I have personally added to my sex life... and I suggest to my clients to practice in their “love making”... some of these ideas below are pretty advanced... so I suggest you start  with the ones that are a “bit challenging” for you and not overtly so... then  build up to the more challenging suggestions in time... many years ago I would have been too scared to try some of these ideas... and the more I explored my sexuality the easier it became... and it is great to be “fun” and “playful” about trying anything new... sometimes things just do not work out as expected... so just laugh and move on.

Here are some suggestions I personally have tried and would recommend... and if you do one a week you will be busy for 40 weeks or so.

If you always shut your eyes in sex... open them.

If you like a dark room... learn to love seeing your lover.

If foreplay is only 10 minutes... try at least 30 to 60 minutes.

If you have never given an erotic massage to your lover... just do it.

If you never used a lot of oil and rubbed your body across your lover on a plastic sheet... just do it.

If you never communicate to your partner about sex... just do it.

If you never do vulva and g spot massage with your fingers... learn how too.

If you come too soon... learn how to relax in sex and come when you want too.

If you never make love out of the bedroom... try other rooms in the house.

If you never make love in nature... do it.

If you have never eaten food off your lovers body... do it.

If you have little desire... just start foreplay and see if it is pleasurable.

If you never use sex toys... give one a go.

If you always orgasm and ejaculate... try not ejaculating for a change.

If you never have explored light bondage... do it.

If you never have acted out fantasies by role playing... do it.

If you always use one sex position... try others.

If you always are silent in sex... make sounds!

If you always focus on your partners pleasure... do more self body awareness.

If you always restrict your energy or your breathing... do the opposite.

If you have never done a sexuality workshop... just book one.

If you never have read a book on sexuality or tantra... do it.

If you never have kept a sexual journal... do it.

If you make love with no love connection... try masturbating with your attention on your heart.

If you have never masturbated in front of your lover... do it.

If you have never asked your woman how she likes her clitoris touched... just ask her to show you how.

If you have never asked your man how he likes his penis touched... just ask him to show you.

If you always masturbate in 5 minutes... try a 30 minute session.

Try masturbating in front of a mirror with eye contact! 

Try masturbating dancing.
 
If you have never done a strip tease in front of your lover... do it.

If you have never sucked your lovers big toes... try it.

If you avoid oral sex... learn to love it.

If you have never tried soft penis penetration into a vulva... do it.

If you are always soft and gentle... try a more dominant approach.

If you are always make love like a porn movie... try a soft... gentle and connected approach.

If you have never acted out fantasies in sex... do a mild one.

If you never make love out of the bedroom... try other rooms in the house.

If you never use dirty talking... experiment with it.

If you never have explored anal stimulation or anal sex... just try it.

If you have never done or received a prostate massage... try it.

Now... add to this list some things you might like to try and discuss with your lover things they would like to explore... one thing I personally use to explore sex myself and suggest my clients do... is to do some “structured sexuality exercises”... here is one of those exercises...

Shaman Says... 

This is a good exercise for dealing with “sexual” and “romantic problems?”

The term shaman might have originated in Northern Siberia in a region in central Russia known as Tunguska... purported to be the location of a mystical kingdom referred to as Shamballa... a shaman has “knowledge” enabling him or her to utilize “life force energies” for “healing” and for using the forces of nature... when such a master works in alignment with the energies.. he or she is considered wise... almost all cultures around the planet have an ancient history of shamanistic myth and practice... and in many parts of the world these practices remain current.

Time for Exercise... 5 to 15 minutes

Ask yourself... 

"How would I be... and what would I do in this particular situation if I were a wise shaman?"

Relax your ordinary “thought process” and let “images” and “ideas”... your “intuition” and “insight” come into your “consciousness”... open yourself to guidance from your “adaptive subconscious” and your “subconscious”... ideas might come to you that are not based on your “previous experience” or your regular “thought process”... and please do not think this is some wacky new age thing... it is actually based on a “psychological” process of “free association.”

You can use this “technique” as one way to “think” about a “problem” to  “help” you find a “solution”... for a source of “creativity”... or to help trigger a "aha" moment... an  “epiphany!”

You can “train” yourself into “new ways” of “thinking”... if you can “imagine” something and it is “physically possible” you can actually make it “real.” 

Now... what if you could become wise by “imagining” that you already are?

As always... leave a man or woman all the better for knowing you.

Masculine Men and Feminine Women know and are the EXCEPTIONS!

They are truly Passionate and DYNAMIC Lovers!

Yours Sincerely



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